The Loveliest Bucket in All the World
Hyacinth writes a sonnet to Emmet, demonstrating her knowledge of his "love" for her.
Emmet Hawksworth sat down at the breakfast table. His sister, Elizabeth Warden, was getting dressed for whatever drudgery Hyacinth intended to put her through that day. Liz had left the morning post for Emmet to read.
On top of the pile was a pink envelope addressed to Emmet in all-too-familiar handwriting. The musician gently picked up the envelope as though it might burn him. Using his breakfast knife to slice through the adhesive seal, Emmet caught an odious whiff of some ghastly, floral perfume.
The paper within (the source of the smell) was a softer shade of pink, and it contained neat, cursive writing.
I know I stir your heart within your chest
For when you see me, it beats, patter-pit
But know, dear friend, that I do keep abreast
Of your love's depth, for I oft notice it
When you see me, I do distress you so
As I raise my angel voice in a song
And as my melodies begin to grow
Your heart thumps in your chest just like a gong
I know the past year has held downs and ups
As leaves of love are swept up by time's rake
And though your sister does destroy my cups
It is your tender heart I fear to break
And now, your feelings I have quite unfurled
T'wards me, the lovli'st Bucket in the world.
Revulsion welled up inside Emmet. He rose from the table and went to the living room window. Peering out, he saw Hyacinth (who had clearly planned for this moment and was making quite a performance of watering her front garden). She looked towards him and smiled widely, wiggling her fingers girlishly in his direction.
It was all Emmet could do to bare his teeth and stagger towards the nearest armchair to regain his will to live.
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