Notes: Batman is owned by DC Comics and was created by writer Bill Finger and artist Bob Kane. Damian Wayne was created by Grant Morrison and Andy Kubert.
Bruce Wayne had been having problems with his son, Damian Wayne. Damian was a very aggressive, troublemaking guy, who often didn't do what his father asked him to do. He often got into fights, argued with people, and tried to destroy the villains, which is something Batman was strongly against.
One day, Bruce called Damian to the living room, so they could talk things over. Bruce had an angry look on his face, which made Damian feel a little nervous. Bruce said, "Damian, I wish I could sugarcoat your actions, but I can't. You've been out of control. During the past two weeks, I had to stop you from destroying five different villains. In addition to that, your training expertise wrecked several parts of the Bat-Cave."
Damian casually replied, "That's hardly a big deal. You have more money, than any of Gotham's other citizens. The Bat-Cave could get destroyed, once a week, and you'd still be loaded with cash."
Bruce gave Damian a disapproving look, while responding, "That doesn't change the fact, that you haven't been taking responsibility for your actions. The way you've been acting resembles an anti-hero, not a superhero."
Damian failed to see, how he and his father were different from anti-heroes, like the Watchmen. Damian said, "We're vigilantes. How are we any different, than the anti-heroes?"
Bruce sighed and said, "Anti-heroes take a darker, more bloody path, that no true superhero should ever take. After my parents were heartlessly shot, I knew I'd never use such a careless method of violence. If you want to make a positive difference, you have to be superior, to the criminals you fight against. If you were ever to kill one of your enemies, you'd become dangerously close, to being like them. Being that you're so young, it'd be easy for you, to be tempted by such dangerous things and as your father, I have to keep those addictions away from you."
Bruce was making a lot of fair points, that Damian agreed with. However, hearing such things made him uncomfortable, so he said, "You're right and I'm going to work hard, on being less harsh. Can we start moving on?"
Bruce answered, "Yes, to help you gain responsibility, I'm having you take a job."
Damian raised an eyebrow and asked, "What kind of job?"
Bruce answered, "You're going to be the valet, for Gotham's fanciest restaurant."
Damian scowled and asked, "You're giving me one of the most boring jobs, that's ever been created? Valets just park cars, which is something the car's owner should be doing. I'm the strongest and most dangerous person, of my age. A valet is a total waste, of what I have to offer."
Bruce replied, "I'm not saying you're wrong, but you need to learn and embrace responsibility, so you're going to be taking the job."
Damian responded, "Very well then."
The next night, Bruce dropped off Damian, outside of the fancy restaurant. He made Damian wear a tuxedo. Bruce looked at his son and said, "I won't be able to supervise you, because the Penguin's on the loose."
Damian could hardly believe what he was hearing. Instead of going on an exciting adventure, that involved fighting the Penguin, Damian had to park cars. He said, "I should be helping you, instead of parking cars, for this place's lazy guests."
Bruce replied, "Damian, just be do what I ask, without arguing and causing trouble."
Damian folded his arms and responded, "I'll try, but you're wasting my potential." Bruce waved goodbye and drove away.
A few minutes later, Veronica Vreeland, one of Gotham's wealthiest citizens and a friend of Bruce Wayne, drove by. She stepped out of her car, threw her keys into Damian's hands, and said, "Greetings, Damian. It's hard to imagine Bruce's ward, as a valet, but do whatever makes you feel like a grown-up."
Damian whispered, "A grown-up? I may be a kid, but I'm more grown-up, than a majority of Gotham's citizens." Damian got into Veronica's car and parked it. Afterwards, he started digging around the car, to see if Veronica had left anything behind. He found an adult novel, which he opened and started reading. He read the first few chapters, while parking a few more cars.
A moment later, a girl, who was around the same age as Damian, named Betty Kane, arrived. She had blonde hair and was wearing a red dress. She was with her father, who had so many guests with him, that he had barely said a thing, to his own daughter. Betty's sleazy dad threw his key at Damian and went into the restaurant, along with his guests. Betty didn't go with her dad, which is something her clueless dad failed to notice.
Betty looked at Damian and asked, "What are you doing?"
Damian answered, "Believe it or not, I'm tonight's valet."
Betty had an amused look on her face, while saying, "I do have a hard time, when it comes to believing that."
Damian replied, "I would be offended, if I had any care or respect, for this lousy job. Why are you standing around here? Shouldn't you be having dinner, with your father?"
Betty responded, "Frankly, I don't want to have dinner with that scoundrel."
Damian replied, "Wow, sounds like you're not daddy's little girl. What's he up to?"
Betty responded, "Cheating on my mom. He brought his girlfriend, along with his immature friends. He's so distracted, by his pettiness, that he acts like I'm not around. Because of that, I'm not around him, at the current moment."
Damian replied, "Your dad sounds so awful, that I don't want to park his stupid limo."
Betty responded, "Frankly, I want to destroy his stupid limo."
A sneaky smile came upon Damian's face, while saying, "Frankly, I want to abandon this job and help you get this car demolished."
Betty grinned and asked, "Are you making a legit offer or are you just joking around?"
Damian answered, "I have your dad's key, so getting rid of his limo will be easy."
Betty replied, "Alright then." Damian and Betty went into Betty's dad's limo and drove away.
A few minutes later, the Penguin drove to the restaurant, in hopes of getting away from Batman. Batman had been chasing him, for a long time. In order for Batman to lose sight of him, Penguin figured he needed a different car. The Penguin was looking around the parking lot, for a fancy car to take. He said, "Most people are smart enough, to not leave their keys in their cars. Because of that, I don't know how I'm going to get a car."
Similar to Damian, the Penguin was wearing a fancy tuxedo. Because he was a well-dressed citizen, who was roaming around the parking lot, one of the guests thought Penguin was the valet. The guest put his key in Penguin's hands and said, "Park my car, valet."
After the guest walked inside, Penguin squawked and said, "Gotham is very dependable, when it comes to clueless people. I've obtained a free car." The Penguin went into the guest's fancy car and drove away.
Meanwhile, Damian and Betty took Betty's car, to a vehicle-impoundment area. Damian and Betty did lots of chuckles, while the limo got shredded apart. Betty high-fived Damian and said, "Thank you, for helping me get revenge, on my terrible father."
Damian replied, "You're welcome. I should be directing the thanks to you, for helping me escape my job. So, it sounds like your family's not the best."
Betty responded, "You can say that again. My aunt, Kathy, is pretty cool. I wish she was my guardian, instead of my lousy dad." She paused and asked, "What's your dad like?"
Damian answered, "He teaches me the things, I need to learn. Because of that, being around him isn't the most fun, but it's for the best."
Betty smiled and replied, "From what you've shown me so far, either your dad's taught you a lot, or you already know quite a lot."
A thought popped into Damian's head. He was worried Betty would get in trouble, because of what happened to Betty's dad's limo. He looked at her and nervously asked, "Are you going to get grounded for life, because of us getting your dad's limo destroyed?"
Betty calmly answered, "Don't worry about that. One of his friends came in a limo, that looks the same. My father's probably gotten so drunk, that he probably won't notice the difference. He enjoys that restaurant so much, that he visits that place twice, each week. He'll be going there tomorrow. I couldn't want to go less, so will you be there?"
Damian smiled and said, "You can count on me. We can abandon our responsibilities and embrace the fun of life."
Betty replied, "Sounds perfect."
Damian and Betty got borrowed a taxi, to get back to the restaurant, before either of their fathers realized they were gone. After stepping out of the limo, Damian looked at Betty and said, "That was fun."
Betty replied, "The credit goes to you, for coming up with the idea." She hugged him and went into the restaurant.
A few minutes later, Bruce returned to the restaurant. He had changed out of his Batman costume and he was wearing a fancy suit, once again. He stepped out of his car, approached Damian and asked, "How did the valet job go?"
Damian answered, "Better than I thought it would."
Bruce replied, "That's great to hear."
Damian said, "I was expecting the job, to be boring and lame, but I think I'm starting to learn about responsibility."
Bruce replied, "If that's the case, I'm honored to hear that."
Damian said, "In fact, I'm willing to be a valet, for tomorrow's night of guests."
Bruce replied, "Very well then. I'll let you do that. I couldn't be more happy, when it comes to the progress, that you seem to be making."
Bruce and Damian went into Bruce's limo, which was being driven by Alfred Pennyworth. Damian looked at Bruce and asked, "How did things go with the Penguin?"
Bruce said, "Not nearly as well, as I was wanting it to be. I was getting close to catching the Penguin, but somehow, I lost sight of him. I don't know how that happened, but I feel ashamed of himself."
Damian felt guilty, for lying to his father, so he put his hand on Bruce's shoulder, and said, "You're Gotham's greatest hero. You've defeated hundreds of criminals, so making a few mistakes is easily forgivable."
Bruce lightly smiled and replied, "Thank you, Damian. That means a lot."
After Bruce tucked Damian into bed, he went into the living room and walked up to Alfred. Bruce said, "I'm not proud to admit this, but I don't fully trust my son."
Alfred replied, "You don't trust any member of the Justice League, so this hardly counts as shocking news. Why are you lacking faith in your son, this time?"
Bruce started sipping on a cup of coffee, while sitting on the couch. He said, "Damian claimed, that his valet job went well. That job was something, that he had been making a bratty fuss about. Considering that being a valet isn't the most eventful type of job, I suspect Damian's been up to something else."
Alfred asked, "What are you accusing him of?"
Bruce answered, "That boy is always filled with surprises, just like me. Because of that, I'm going to put a bat-tracer on him, tomorrow. That way, I'll be able to find out, what's he's up to."
Meanwhile, the Penguin was in his lair, while having a meeting with his henchmen. He said, "Gentlemen, for years I've wanted to become Gotham's richest citizen, but due to competition and Batman's batty intrusions, that hasn't exactly been happening. Thankfully, I know how to become wealthier than ever and if you guys know how to drive, we're good to go."
One of the henchmen had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What are we talking about?"
The Penguin answered, "Thanks to the gullibility, of one of Gotham's wealthier citizens, I was mistaken for a valet and was given the man's car key. I used the car, to get away from Batman and I decided to keep the car. Since the idiot was rich, he had a very nice car. If we go to that restaurant and each pretend to be a valet, we can get the cars of every single rich one of Gotham's wealthy citizens. Tomorrow night, I'll become the richest bird, that the world has ever seen." He did an evil laugh.
The next night, Bruce and Alfred dropped off Damian, at the fancy restaurant. Bruce quickly hid a bat-tracer in Damian's hair, which Damian failed to notice. Bruce said, "I hope you do a good job, on your second night. I need to go search for the Penguin."
Damian replied, "Okay then. I'll see you later, Dad." He got out of Bruce's limo and started pretending, that he was going to be a valet.
Bruce whispered to Alfred, "Drive, to a nearby street. That way, we can quickly get to Damian, if he tries to leave the restaurant."
Alfred replied, "Whatever you say, Master Wayne." Alfred wasn't fond of Bruce's plan, because he thought Bruce should have more trust in his son. However, Alfred was unaware, that Damian had been lying to Bruce.
A few minutes later, Betty Kane arrived, along with her father and several of his father's guests. After her father went inside, Betty stayed outside and walked to Damian. Damian asked, "Did your father notice, that his limo was gone?"
Betty answered, "He sure didn't. One of his friends gave him a ride. He was so drunk, that he's completely unaware, of everything the real world's about."
Damian asked, "So, where do you want to go?"
Betty answered, "Well, I don't want to be here."
Damian put his hand on his chin, while thinking about where he and Betty could go. After a moment of thinking, he said, "There's a place, that I often go to, when I want to escape my dad."
Betty replied, "That sounds perfect."
Damian said, "Follow me."
Betty replied, "Okay." Damian and Betty started walking away from the restaurant and Damian started leading Betty to an area, that he had frequently gone to, in the previous months.
Meanwhile, Bruce started looking at a device, that showed where the bat-tracer was going. He said, "Damian has left the restaurant."
Alfred asked, "Should we follow him?"
Bruce said, "Judging by how slowly he's going, he must be walking. I think I know where he's headed, so I can get there first and give him a surprise."
Several minutes later, Damian brought Betty to a dump. Betty had a shocked look on her face, while asking, "Why did you bring me here? I know you have unusual taste, but this is overkill."
Damian knew the dump didn't sound like an appealing place, to most place. However, Damian saw some value in the dump, so he hoped he could make Betty appreciate it. He said, "You see, the dump is where people often throw away worthwhile items, that people fail to see the value of. My mom failed to see the point in having me around and my dad fails to see my true potential. Because of that, I often go the dump and find useful items."
Betty replied, "To be honest, I think that's pretty weird."
Damian had an amused look on his face, while saying, "I guess I'm not a normal kid, am I?"
Betty replied, "I'm also not a normal kid, so it's all cool." She grabbed a sketchbook out of her purse and started drawing.
Damian noticed that, so he asked, "Do you like to draw?"
Betty answered, "You could say that. My grandfather was an artist, so I used to get drawing lessons from him. He drew some of the most amazing artwork, that I've ever seen. He claimed that Batman based his costume, on some old artwork he is."
Damian asked, "Do you think that's true?"
Betty shrugged her shoulders and said, "Gotham's a fantastical place, with several eccentric characters and bizarre situations. Weirdness seems to be something, that all of Gotham embraces."
Damian replied, "Thankfully, there's normal people, such as ourselves."
Betty responded, "I know, right?"
Damian looked around and saw a note, that was from his father. He read the note, which said, "You're grounded, for abandoning your responsibility and for lying to me." Damian put his hand on his face, while saying, "I'm doomed."
Meanwhile, the Penguin went to the restaurant, along with his henchmen. The Penguin made sure, to wear one of his nicer tuxedos, so he would be mistaken for a valet, once again. He stood around, while saying, "Greetings, wealthy citizens of Gotham. I'm your valet, so you don't need to worry about parking your cars. I know that parking your eloquent and expensive cars is important and must be done carefully. Because of that, I insist you let me and my staff park your cars." Several easily-tricked people started handing their keys, to the Penguin.
The Penguin and his henchmen each took a car and drove back to their lair. The Penguin looked at his henchmen, while saying, "Sadly, each of us can only take one car, at a time. We better hurry back to the restaurant, so we can get the second batch of cars." He did an evil laugh.
By the time, the Penguin and his henchmen were pretending to be valets, for the second time, Damian and Betty had returned. Damian could hardly believe, that the Penguin was pretending to be a valet. However, the most absurd thing, was that the rich citizens trusted the Penguin and didn't recognize him, as one of Gotham's most wanted criminals.
Damian looked at Betty and said, "The Penguin's pretending to be doing the job, that I was pretending to be doing."
Betty replied, "It's hard to believe, that nobody else knows who he is."
Damian wondered what he should do. He could wait for Batman. However, he felt like he had gotten in the way of progress and hadn't been doing anything useful. He felt, that he should start doing something heroic. He ran to the Penguin and punched him in the stomach.
The Penguin had a confused look on his face, while asking, "What the heck is going on?"
Damian smirked and replied, "Kids are a lot tougher, than the kids from your generation. Your generation was the 1700s, wasn't it?"
The Penguin looked ticked-off, while sending his henchmen, to fight Damian. Damian confidently said, "I'm not afraid, of the bird-themed guy's goons." He started punching and kicking the goons. The goons were also confused, by Damian's impressive amount of strength. The goons started feeling like they were weaklings, which was an accurate feeling.
To Damian's surprise, Betty started getting involved in the fight. She kicked and flung several henchmen, which the Penguin wasn't happy to see.
After Damian and Betty had defeated all of the Penguin's henchmen, the Penguin tried to escape. However, Damian jumped on him and flung him to the ground. The Penguin got out his umbrella and pointed it at Damian. He said, "My umbrella may seem harmless, but it's secretly one of the most dangerous devices, that any criminal's ever had."
Betty took the umbrella away from Penguin and said, "If it's so dangerous, it should be given to the police."
The Penguin nervously asked, "Am I losing, to a couple of kids?"
Damian had a smug smile on his face, while saying, "More or less, you lame excuse for a penguin." He kicked Penguin in the face, which made him pass-out.
Damian looked at Betty and asked, "How were you able to fight the Penguin's henchmen?"
Betty answered, "In addition to being an artist, I have an interest in karate. I've been taking lessons and considering I helped you fight a team of henchmen, I think I'm doing a pretty good job. How were you able to stop Penguin?"
Damian answered, "I like having secrets, so I won't be sharing that info."
A few minutes later, Batman arrived. He walked up to Damian, quickly put him in the Batmobile, and started driving home. Batman looked at Damian and said, "You're going to be grounded, for a few days."
Damian replied, "I had that coming. I was being a nasty liar and I regret that. However, a friend and I defeated the Penguin."
Batman responded, "I noticed that. I wish you had waited for me, but I'd be lying, if I didn't tell you I was proud."
Damian said, "Thank you, Dad. I love you."
Batman replied, "I love you too, old chum. By the way, who's your new friend?"
Damian smiled and responded, "I think I've found our best candidate, to become Batgirl."
Although Damian was far from perfect, Batman could tell he was improving. He knew his son would become one of Gotham's greatest heroes, no matter how batty things got.
