By the Author: Little Trowa-san
Fandom: Gundam Wing
Pairings: None stated. You find out! Trowa obviously.
Comments: *Unfinished* Centers mainly around Trowa and the unusual things that have been happening to him that no one knows about at first, except maybe a curious Shinigami pilot. ^_^;;
Warnings: There is just a little bloody stuff. Nothing explicit. Starting to become an epic/novella.

Crystalline Tears Drop
Part One


Those rattling noise were starting to get louder and this time Trowa jerked his head up in bed. The moonlight poured out into the tiny room across his bunk, placing stripes of blue light across the navy sheets and illuminating the sweat that was running down his forehead.

That pounding wouldn't stop.
Echoing those words. Those last words.
Trowa closed his eyes. He had to get this out of his mind, he had to escape it.

Standing up Trowa searched for the door within the dark shadows. A blast of cold air swept over his face and body and he stepped into the cold night.

He moved across the porch staring out ahead of him, blankly. He plodded down the silent sleeping streets. His feet seemed to pull him along, as if he could no longer control his own actions.

The wind picked up and drifted through his chocolate hair, brushing it away from the side of his face momentarily. A nearby, deserted park called to him.

That pounding noise...

His eyes fixated on the street lamps, glowing in the semi-darkness. His feet pulled him ahead, towards a long iron bench sitting amongst a patch of park trees and shrubs. His feet pulled him quickly. Further... further...

Before Trowa could decipher the atmosphere he sat on the bench, a strong pain suddenly pressing at his ribs. Trowa gasped, bending over, grabbing his side. His stomach lurched as he stared teary eyed below him. The sharp pain spat at his heart, and a mass of blood felt its way to his mouth. Gasping for a breath of impossible air, another trickle of the blood dripped down Trowa's now trembling mouth, onto the puddle of crimson below him. His eyes widened, and he wiped at his mouth with his free arm, staining the blood across his gray sleeve. His eyes were half lidded, as he sat back uneasily into the cold iron rails of the bench. Breathing heavily he tried to sound out the words. Those last words that pounded in his head like a tainted heartbeat.

The pain crept up into his throat as he let out a tiny whimper. It hurt now, it hurt so much. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, holding himself as the encroaching fear hit him once again.

[[ I'm not gonna let you go that easy kid!' the deep voice echoed, letting out another punch low to his stomach. Blood trickled down his face, thick blood. In the background Duo Maxwell shouted.

God Dammit Trowa!! How could you do this to me! Do this to us!?' His eyes were dark and distant, his arms bound up behind his head. Behind him were the dark faces of Quatre, Heero, and Wufei who stared at him like death himself breathing that icy breath down his neck.

I did what you said. So let them go.' he said his voice mangled from strangling.

They'll come for you in time and when they do, I hope they rip your icy heart out by the roots!' the deep voice laughed long and hard.

Trowa was then slammed against the wall by the dark man.

Kill me then and let them go.' he calmly stated, though in full effort.

They were going to kill you anyway.'
]]

A bright flash flooded Trowa's eyes, as everything started to fade. Those glaring faces and those looks. His vision taken over by a dark red covering his face like an iron blanket of crimson.

Trowa's eyes flashed painfully open. Why these thoughts? Was there no escape for him? Once he gained back his senses he had always thought there had to be a way, but through the silent night there was no way. He was trapped.

a quiet far away voice seemed to whisper in his ear. Trowa? Where are you? it said echoing back to him. A pain stirred inside him. The pain strained his face, pulsating in his eyes. He began to involuntarily shake.

No... no... please... he said his eyes watering and the moisture trickled down his quivering chin. he repeated reaching out his hands to catch nothing, falling to his knees which were instantly stained with his blood.

That pounding grew louder, the voice closer.

Trowa? Trowa? What's wrong? What are you doing? the voice repeated. There was such sweet innocence in the sound of the voice.

Trowa stopped gasping and looked ahead of him then back down to his hands. He started to tremble terribly, and his lips could barely move to form words. The pain inside was great but he wouldn't let out a cry, he just couldn't ever. That sound, those voices, those very words coursed their way through his mind again.

Those last words...
He had to get them out of his mind, he'd do anything for that.

a voice whispered, concern in the tone. Trowa tore his eyes away from his vermilion hands to the revenant form ahead of him. He froze. Duo Maxwell stood ahead of him, eyes wide as boulders.

Trowa? Are you okay? he stepped forward carefully.

Trowa jolted his body back. Duo warily stopped in place.

Ara... I don't suppose I can possibly help you...

Trowa looked strangely at Duo. Had he been following him? He stood, backing into the bench, then struggled to keep that defensive look as he walked behind it.

Duo stared out at him, his eyes trying to calm down and not be so wide, but what he had just seen, he had to admit, scared the living daylights out of him. He let in a slow breath, watching Trowa's movements.

Trowa... it's okay. Let's just... um... I won't hurt you. Duo said nervousness edging in his voice. He knew that Trowa didn't trust him very well. And he knew that he was uneasy. Maybe the best thing to do would be to leave, but somehow deep inside he knew he just couldn't do that.

Trowa's eyes pierced directly through Duo, that fear creeping up inside him, every time Duo got closer. His heart was pounding in his ears. He knew Duo had seen him, but for how long was the question.

Duo edged closer, step by step. And with each step Trowa worried more. Trowa's eyes darkened to a look Duo was sure he had never seen before. A look that nearly burned through the green-eyed pilot's mask, but Duo was unsure. He didn't quite understand.

Leave me alone, Trowa's raspy voice sounded out. Duo lifted up his arms, in defense.

Oi, I didn't do anything! I just wanted to ask what was wrong. It's not like you to be... to be just spitting out blood all over the place like this, you know? he gave a small convincing grin, but Trowa didn't take it.

Duo barely believed it himself. Trowa stood hunched over abnormally, his hair crossing over his right eye.

Leave. Me. Alone. His statement sat the same, and Duo prodded on.

What were... why were... how...? His curiosity was overwhelming but he knew Trowa wasn't the person to get stirred up, or was he?

Trowa cleared his musty throat, staring ahead of him, with an angered look.

Why are you even out here? Don't you have any idea what time of day it is? Duo muffled, and turned his wrist. It's nearly three in the morning! He stared down at Trowa, mimicking his harsh look, as if it all was a game.

Trowa backed away, his feelings overwhelming and demeaning somehow. Duo didn't understand and he never would. This wasn't under his control. And by no means did he want it that way. If he could escape he would have long ago. That's why Trowa was where he stood.

Then why are you here? Trowa turned the question around.

Duo opened his mouth halfway to reply, but when he realized the reason, he closed his mouth again.

Trowa stared at him with empty, distant eyes.

I... well... I came out... anou... he shook his head looking at his feet. The truth is I came in a little late. Like, well I never came in... and so therefore... he paused, I got locked out.

Trowa had no expression.

It's not hard to meet the time. They lock the dorm doors at midnight.

Duo nodded casually, not the least bit humiliated. Or if he was he was doing a damn good job hiding it.

Yeah, well I had stuff to deal with so I didn't get in on time. I only missed it by a few hours. Besides, OZ soldiers were surrounding me around 2:30. If I had run out I would have been caught for sure.

Trowa sighed, in realization. I thought you stopped that. Your secret

Well maybe. And then again maybe not. Anyway, this isn't about me! This is about you and you know that!

Trowa watched him, silent, before starting.

I came for a breath of air, and turned out to be sitting in the park. He paused and looked past Duo's eyes. So distant.

Duo just shrugged.

I guess. Though, its not like you told me the whole story or anything.

Duo didn't like the distant looks that Trowa was holding so well. They made him nervous, well almost. Duo decided for one last plea, of course knowing this wouldn't really be his last.

Hey, come on Trowa-san! You just need to lighten up and come back to the dorms with me. I didn't mean any harm if you think I did, really! He gave a failed sigh. We can just go back to the school, and get some shut eye. Maybe things will be better in the morning, don'tcha think?

Trowa's eyes continued to bore holes through Duo, and he moved back a little bit more.

No. No, that's all right Duo, I think I'll be going for a walk...

Duo looked worried for a moment, but quickly stashed it away beneath him. He felt bad for Trowa, he knew he could admit it now. He wanted Trowa to confide in him perhaps, there was obviously something the matter.

Wait! Can't we talk about it?

Trowa quickly shook his head, his eyes stern.

Come on, your beginning to remind me of Heero!

Trowa just looked at him, expressionless.

Well you could at least tell me why...

Tell you why...? Trowa said, his voice soft.

Why you were calling out. Please, I know something is clearly hurting you, and I'm sorry if your mad at me... I was only trying to help... Duo watched his eyes, feeling useless.

I understand that. But, I don't need your help, okay? Trowa said and Duo turned away.

/Nobody does./ Duo thought.

More confused than before, Duo started walking back towards the school, he realized that even if Trowa had agreed to come back in with him, they couldn't because it was too late. They were both locked out.

Duo gave a sigh and considered his options. He really didn't feel like sleeping on a bench tonight, but the damp ground was the only alternative. Duo shuffled his feet over towards the bench that had stood between them only moments before. Duo slammed onto the cold bench. He stared ahead, his violet eyes bright with worry. How could he sleep now? Of course he thought of Trowa.

What would he be doing out this late? Why wouldn't he talk to him? Sure he wasn't the kind of guy who'd pour out his troubles to you, but Duo felt a wandering urge to help. Shivers fell up and down his back and out across his arms. Goose bumps spread all over his body and he pulled his legs up to his stomach, trying to stop shivering. He didn't understand Trowa. He knew no one understood him, but he wanted to. If only he could get him to open up... maybe he could help. He wanted to help. Duo sighed clutching his frigid hands across his own lonesome shoulders. Useless attempts.

***


Trowa wandered away; from those eyes that had stared into his own. Those eyes of sweet innocence. He wanted so much to let it escape his lips... but somehow he couldn't.

The pounding... it was heavy, fierce, and constant, but not a rhythm. He was so used to it by now, that he didn't even cringe at every possible pound that was trapped inside his mind. Trowa's face was pale as he stopped under a bright yellow street lamp, staring up at it, his deep green eyes were a swimming ocean of feelings, hidden so well, among the world.

The wind blew, sending out a fierce gust, his hair covering his left eye. He wanted to hide and escape. Why did they have to use him? Those last words washed over him slowly, picking at his memory. His eyes narrowed, the sound piercing through him... though they were gentle words. He could hear heavy footsteps from behind him. Thrusting his body around he saw nothing but rain splatter below his feet. He turned his eyes to the dark starlit sky. Another splatter of rain fell, hitting him between the eyes, then another, hitting his cheek. Rain soon fell steadily all around him, his hair blinding him with the dripping wetness, all over his face. Wiping the now useless hair behind his head he stared down at the wet stone below him.

It was too late, and Duo had seen too much. He should have been more careful. He couldn't just stand around now, he had to get going. He then passed a meaningless look, as empty as his feelings would allow to be shown, and turned, walking down the silent street.