A/N: Ahhhh! Evil writers block! Well, I have to write something...
Disclaimer: Squaresoft is the new god. Owns you, owns me, or at least owns Final Fantasy.


It was a beautiful day. Birds were singing, children were playing, and...
Cloud was in the Gold Saucer, at the Chocobo Racing.

Cloud: WOOT! GO ELEN! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!! I WON!

Lady: Prize or GP?

Cloud: GP! GIMME!

Lady: *sweatdrop* Here! *gives him 5 GP*

Cloud: O.O Only 5 GP?

Lady: We're short of GP, ok? Go to the hotel or something.

Cloud: Ok... *goes to Scary Hotel*

Sephiroth: 5 GP if you want to stay.

Cloud: AHH! Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: No shit sherlock! NOW PAY THE (*^%&$& 5 GP OR I KICK YOU OUT!

Cloud: O_o *pays*

That night...

Strange sounds from other room: Mmmmmm.... OH! That tickles!

Cloud: *obviously not getting any sleep* @_@ Sweet Yevon!

Wakka: *from nowhere* Hey, you're not from FFX, ya?

Cloud: O.o I need coffee! *runs out to get coffee*

Guy from other room: ...? What was that?

Yuffie: Vincent, shut up!

Cloud was racing around the Gold Saucer at night, trying to find coffee.

Cloud: *runs into Red XIII*

Red XIII: *drunk* YO CLOUD! WANNA BEER?!

Cloud: O.o No thanks, I'm looking for coffee.

Red XIII: Nah! Beer's better! *falls over*

Cloud: *runs off*

In the main area thingy...

Cloud: Hmmm? AH! COFFEE! *notices one of the portals saying coffee* (Remember, he's VERY tired) COFFFEEEEE! *leaps into portal*

At wherever the hell he went...

Cloud: Uggg...

Short Mage Dude: O.O Who are you and why does your hair look like a chocobo's ass?

Cloud: My hair does NOT look like a chocobo's ass!

Everyone else in the fic: Yes it does!

Cloud: Alrighty then. Anyway, why isn't there any coffee here?

Short Mage Dude: Coffee? What's that? This is Alexandria! Maybe you could get something off Zidane... I'm Vivi, by the way.

Cloud: Nice to meetcha, Vivi. I'm Cloud.

So the two went off in search of Zidane... Who was decorating Alexandria palace.

Zidane: *off-tune* Christmas bells, those christmas bells! Ringing through the land!

Vivi: Zidane!

Zidane: Hi Vi- AHHHH! *falls from 20 meter tall Christmas tree* Ouch!

Vivi: Sorry, are you ok?

Zidane: -.-' If you consider a strained ankle ok, then I'm just dandy.

Vivi: ^-^ Super!

Cloud: Do you have any coffee?

Zidane: Who the hell are you and what's up with the chocobo's ass look?

Cloud: I'm Cloud, now is there any coffee?

Zidane: Dagger and Eiko drunk it all!

Loud yells and carols are heard from upstairs. Eiko and Dagger come down the staircase.

Dagger: *hyper* Hi Ziddy! I love you! *hugs Zidane*

Zidane: Heh, heh...

Cloud: Is there ANY coffee here?

Dagger and Eiko: COFFEEE!!!! YUMM-WAH!

Cloud: O.O''

Vivi: I got them Furbys for Christmas, they've already opened them...

Cloud: That explains lots... But how the hell did I get here!?

Vivi: I dunno. You just... Fell outta the sky!

Cloud: Crap! How am I supposed to get back now?

Zidane: Where'd you come from, anyway?

Cloud: The Gold Saucer.

Others: ???

Cloud: *sigh* Nevermind!

Suddenly portals appear. And, unfortunately... So does Peaches, wearing a short-skirted Mrs Claus outfit and holding a candycane.

Peaches: Aloha!

Eiko: CANDYCANE! GIMME! *runs over and tries to steal the candycane*

Peaches: Â.Â'' *gives Eiko the candycane*

Eiko: ^_^ *gives half to Vivi*

Vivi: *eats it*

Peaches: I'm here to put you on a mission, Cloud!

Cloud: Why should I listen to you?

Peaches: Is there such thing as Christmas spirit in your body?

Cloud: *raises eyebrow* Wouldn't YOU like to know!

Peaches: ^_^ Hell yeah!

Others: O.O'''

Peaches: Uh... Anyway, your mission is to gather up the FF crew and bring them to the Gold Saucer, via these portals.

Cloud: Why?

Peaches: I'm throwing a Christmas party there, dumbass!

Zidane: Sweet! I'm there!

Cloud: I dunno...

Peaches: There'll be coffee! LOTS and LOTS of coffee!

Cloud: Sure! I'm in!

Peaches: Great! I'll see you there! *dissapears in a poof of red and green glitter*

Vivi: Aw, I wanna go too!

Cloud: Sure you can come!

Vivi: Sw33t!

Cloud: I need my coffee... Come Vivi, we have much to do!

Vivi: What are you talking about!? She said YOU need to round them up, not me!

Cloud: You traitor!

Vivi: Oh? Is that too hard for Mister LOOK I'M IN KINGDOM HEARTS?!

Zidane: O.o I think Vivi had too much egg-nog!

Vivi: I'll eggnog you! *tackles Zidane and hits him over the head with an empty eggnog carton*

Dagger: *still hyper* ZIDDY!
Zidane: AHHH!! ANGRY MAGE!

Vivi: *evil laugh*

Eiko: Oops... I shouldn't have given him that candycane...

Vivi: *stops hitting Zidane* CANDY CANE! *runs off*

Everyone : o_o;;

Peaches: *reappears* I forgot something... Hey, wasn't Vivi going to go with you?
Cloud: .... I dont think he is now o_o

Peaches: *loudly* Oh, shucks! I was going to give you two lots of egg-nog and candycanes!

Vivi: *runs back* CANDY CANES?! EGGNOG!

Peaches: ^-^ Yup!

Cloud: It's like a rabid poodle, only in child Black mage form...

Zidane: That's why he's my friend!!!
Vivi: *gnaws on the couch arm*


Peaches: Vivi...
Vivi: ....*stops*

Peaches: *gives Vivi a hug*

Vivi: ^_^! *hugs Peaches back, and while doing so, tries to steal the eggnog*

Peaches: No, that's empty! I left it back at the Gold Saucer. You have to go with Cloud!
Vivi: Aw, shucks... OK, I'll go!

Zidane: *whispers to Cloud* guess the rabid poodle is all yours!

Cloud: Oh well, he isnt so bad...

Peaches: *her mobile rings and she pulls it out* Heya!

Pyra: Hey peaches-chan!

Peaches: Pyra! Nice to seeya! Wait... Why are you ringing? Is Red XIII eating the mistletoe again?

Pyra: No, worse. HE FOUND THE BEER!

Cloud: I heard that!

Peaches: *nods* I'll be right there, Pyra! *hangs up* Cloud, Vivi, you know your mission! Now go! *dissapears in glitter*

Cloud: Oh great, we get the dirty work while she saves the beer.

Vivi: Look, mister I-have-a-chocobo's-ass-for-a-head, let's jsut get this done! We'll start with FF8, alright?

Cloud: Sicne when were you put in charge?

Vivi: SINCE YOU STARTED WHINNING! NOW GO!

They jump into the FF8 portal...


A/N: W00t! I wrote half of this with Pyra!!! :D Anyhoo, the second chap will be up soon! After all, I have nothing better to do!