Title: Blink
Author: Nodakskip
Beta Read: by Theo
Author's Notes: This is an AU. # # indicates phone conversation.
Rating: PG-ish
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, and never did. Everything Buffy-ish belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy, anything Stargate: SG-1 belongs to Gekko and MGM, and I'm not giving away what the other cross is but I don't own that either.
Category: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover.
Summary: That darn Ethan.
Harris Mansion
Colorado Springs, Colorado
June 3rd, 2024
"What do you mean, you can't make it?" Cordelia Harris yelled into the phone. "Xander, this is THE talk!"
#I know that, honey,# Xander's annoyed voice came back from the other end of the line. #But do ya think I planned this? Do you think I told the ENTERPRISE nav computer to go on the fritz, at precisely the wrong time?#
It was an old argument between these two, actually. Ever since the spring of 1999 when she had almost lost everything to the IRS, Cordelia had grown very impatient with the guy whenever Xander wasn't around.
Of course, getting married almost straight after high school to a man who had entered U.S. Air Force officer candidate school, and then often travelled around the world to wherever he'd been posted, you'd think she would have been more tolerant of his job; but Cordy being Cordy, she wasn't.
Still, the love between the former cheerleader and the former class clown was still as strong as the day that they'd said 'I do'. It had lasted through the decades, through two children and through an Air Force career that involved fighting against an alien parasite species - one that had been hell-bent on galactic domination and destruction.
"No," the 43-year-old woman responded with a heavy sigh to Xander's question, as she leaned her head against the wall. "Of course not. It's just that we planned this...I mean, I even sent the staff home early today, so that they wouldn't overhear..."
#I know, I know,# Major Alexander Harris, USAF told his wife. #I'm sorry, honey. If there was any way I could make it there I would, but-#
"Maybe I could bring you back?" Cordelia suggested. "Just tell them you're going to the bathroom, and..."
#No, it's too risky. We nearly got busted the last time, remember?# he told her. #The '313's crew might think something's up, and I'll have too many questions to answer afterwards.#
"Well, at least you already gave them the vampires and demons talk a few years ago," Cordelia mused in defeat. "I'm just worried that they'll go kinda overboard...like I did."
#Don't talk like that,# Xander ordered her. #We raised them right. And you made damn sure they wouldn't turn out to be mini-Harmony's!#
The wife and mother's voice was a little timid. "All the same; if you hadn't been there to kick my butt back to reality, Xander, I could have gone down a very dark road. The same one they might."
#They won't go bad,# Xander told her. #The girls have us to keep them on the straight and narrow, remember? I promise, nothing bad'll happen. And I'll be there tomorrow to back you up to the hilt.#
"I hope you're right honey, I really do," Cordelia said, trying to be optimistic. "But thing is, who knows what they'll be able to do - being natural-borns and all?"
----
The Harris Mansion front gate.
Two hours later
The 16-year-old identical twins, Athena and Aphrodite Harris, climbed out of Athena's boyfriend's convertible. "Are you sure that this family thing will take all night?" Jason asked his girl, as he leaned on the door for some quick smoochies.
"'Fraid so," Athena responded, after a few moments. "They made such a very big deal about it..."
"Still no idea what it's about?" Jack, Aphrodite's boyfriend, asked as he kissed his woman goodbye.
"Not a clue," Aphrodite said. "Still - parental units. They wig out over everything, so how bad could it be?"
---
"You're late."
Both brunette teenagers didn't like the upset look their mother was giving them. "You just HAD to stop at that bookstore, didn't you?" Aphrodite whispered to her sister, obviously upset.
"Well, I'M not the one who spent an hour trying to pick between three almost-identical dresses!" her sister whispered back.
As they came up the stairs to the main sitting room, they noticed something. "Mom?" Aphrodite asked. "What's wrong?"
"Well, I'm just a little nervous," Cordelia Harris said. "Your father got called back into space. We both planned to be here when the time came, but he'll be here tomorrow. So any questions you want to ask him, are gonna have to wait till then."
"Questions about what? And what time that's come?" Athena asked, not liking this.
"Oh, sweetie, thing is - we didn't know if it would ever happen at all," their mother said. "But after what happened two days ago with the rain..."
"What about the rain?" Aphrodite asked. "It just let up for a little bit."
"No it didn't!" Cordelia said, a little upset. "Do you remember what you said, before it stopped?"
Aphrodite looked very confused. "I just got upset that I would have to go roll up my car windows in the rain..."
"Yes, well, you said and I quote..." her mother stated. "I just need it to stop for a few minutes." Cordy looked at both her daughters. "Well, it DID!" Mrs. Harris picked up the remote console to the security system. "This is from that day." She put the video footage up on the large plasma screen.
"Mom? What the heck are we supposed to be watching for?" Athena wanted to know, as the screen split to show the driveway and the backyard at the same time.
"That..." Cordelia said, as the rain over the driveway stopped - allowing the video image of Aphrodite to run out and roll up her car windows all the way.
As the image of her ran back into the mansion, Cordelia froze both sides of the screen. "Look at the time code. It's still pouring in the backyard, and yet? The driveway is clear..."
And before the girls could offer any explanation for that, Cordelia showed the tape from the camera that was aimed at the house from the front gate. "See?"
"Oh my GOD!" Athena yelled.
"That's...that can't happen!" Aphrodite said, utterly shocked.
On the screen, it was if a huge invisible umbrella was covering the driveway of their home. The rain over the mansion was moving in a ninety-degree angle that only lasted long enough for Aphrodite to run out and roll up her windows.
"How?" Aphrodite asked, amazed.
"Magic," her mother said plainly.
"Someone did magic so I could roll up my windows? That's not-" the twin demanded.
"No," Cordelia told her, cutting her child off. "Baby, you did that."
"But I can't do magic!" Aphrodite insisted in denial. "I'm not Aunt Willow-"
"Yes you can, both of you," Cordelia said, looking at both her girls. "You inherited it from me."
"You can do magic, Mom?" Athena asked her mother, surprised. When she was little, she and her sister had been amazed at the tricks Willow Rosenberg had been able to do at their birthday parties; and yet, her mother had never given any indication of being able to do it too...
"You bet," the older Harris woman answered. "Look, you kids, it's time I told you both a story..."
---
Ethan's Costume Shop
Sunnydale California
October 30, 1997
"I can NOT believe I actually have to shop here!"
Xander Harris groaned, as the ever-annoying Cordelia Chase stormed into the empty shop. He had hoped to go through the little that was left in peace and quiet, after not being able to stomach Buffy and Willow's plans to impress the undead guy known as Angel anymore.
"Can you believe it?" Cordelia demanded of him. "I, Cordelia Chase, have to shop at the same place YOU do! And off the rack? I'm SO gonna get hives..."
"Thought you were going to Partytown with the rest of your sheep?" Xander asked, as he looked at all the leftover costumes. Costumes that were at least three sizes too small for him.
"I did! But that bimbo Holly Charleston took the second-last cat costume!" Cordelia fumed.
Harris looked at her, confused. "Then why not get the last one?"
Cordelia just looked at him like he was a special needs boy. "And go to the party in the same outfit? Have her saying to everyone that I was copying HER! You really do need a brain transplant!"
"Is there a problem here?" a smooth-sounding and cultured English voice asked.
"You're damn right there is!" Cordelia snapped at the man, before stopping to ask. "Who are you?"
The man gave her a brilliant smile. "Why, I'm the owner of this little shop. Ethan Rayne, at your service."
"Well, 'little' is right!" Cordelia mumbled, as she looked around the store. "Okay, what's left that isn't from a Saturday morning cartoon show?"
"Oh, adult costumes..." Ethan said, musing. "I'm not sure what I have left at this late date; ah, did you or your boyfriend here have something specific in mind?"
Both teens looked at each other at once, and shivered - out of fear or disgust, it was impossible to say. "We're not together!" they instantly said as one.
"I see," Ethan said, as he looked under the counter. "Well, I seem to only have a two pack left. A male and female set, but one that could be used just as easily as separate costumes..."
"How much?" Cordelia demanded, taking out her father's gold card and eager to get out of this place.
"Well, since you are such a delight," Ethan archly told the annoying girl. "I'll sell them both to you for...fifteen dollars?"
"Deal," Cordelia said imperiously, as she handed him the card. Looking at Xander she said, "Well, guess this can count as my compulsory act of charity for the year. Now I don't have to go to that depressing soup kitchen! Things are looking up..."
Xander bit back the overwhelming barb on the tip of his tongue, as he had to ask, "Cordy, minor detail - but shouldn't we see what the costumes are first, before we buy them?"
Cordelia glared at her childhood nemesis, as Ethan slid the package over the counter to her. "Hmm," she mused, as she examined the contents. "Well, I think I can make this work for me..."
Looking at the box, Xander read the contents out loud. "'I Dream of Jeannie'? Oh man, that's so old school!"
"Well, you should know all about that!" Cordelia teased him mercilessly. "I mean, you have to watch something during all those Saturday nights you're home alone, while the rest of the world has dates..."
Xander let fly with his cutting reply to that insult, as they walked out of the store. "Hey, that blonde wig in there? Good luck on getting the split ends out of your hair, after the party tomorrow!"
The angry teenagers kept bickering all the way to Cordelia's car. And neither of them knew of course that because of Ethan's chaos spell, that U.S. Air Force Major Anthony Nelson and his magical genie named Jeannie would soon inhabit their bodies...
---
Harris Mansion
Colorado Springs, Colorado
June 3rd, 2024
After she was done with the story of what had happened that night, Cordelia spoke to her shocked daughters. "And if you're wondering if I kept the powers afterwards..."
Mrs. Harris stuck out her arms and folded them on top of each other, and did a quick head nod.
"Oh, boy..." Athena said, as a tiny puff of smoke came and her mother had changed from her normal clothes to a red and pink genie outfit.
"Mom? Can we do that too?" Aphrodite asked in complete wonder.
Cordelia gestured, looking very...weird as a natural blonde. "There's only one way to find out, sweetheart."
Both female teens did the arms and blink routine, and in an instant - they were also looking like something from out of 'Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves'. "AWESOME!" Aphrodite and Athena said in unison.
The twins looked at each other, and then themselves. There was no need to say anything else, as both girls knew what her sibling was thinking.
Their boyfriends Jason and Jack had no idea what was about to hit them...
The End?
