Disclaimer: Do you REALLY think I'm JKR? That's what I thought. Anything you reconize, It's not mine. Even though I wish so badly that The Puppies were mine..

Three of the four Marauders were sitting in the great hall that one morning, wondering where their fourth member was. Each of them weren't surprised that he was late; He was always late. It was the fact that he was late for a meal that shocked them. Suddenly, no other than Sirius Black came rushing through the Great Hall doors, his raven hair flying frantically around his flushed face.

"Guys! Guys, guess what!" he shouted at the Marauders, almost shattering their eardrums. Remus sighed and rolled his eyes at his boyfriends' excitable personality, while James and Peter grinned stupidly, waiting for the news. Sirius just stood there, breathing heavily from running all the way from their dormitory. He stared at his friends, waiting for one of them to answer "What?" to him. Finally after what seemed like hours to the black haired boy, Remus shook his head and muttered the word.

"Oh Moony!" he cried, draping his arms around the werewolf's shoulders. "You'll never believe it! I just thought of the perfect idea. It's the most perfectest thing I've ever thought of. James snorted, doubting that anything his friend thought of could be perfect.

"Padfoot," Remus sighed, more in amusement than anger, "Just spit it out. And there is no such word as 'perfectest'. Sirius stared at him with a hurt expression on his face. It only lasted a second though, and then it was right back to his grin.

"I, Sirius Orion Black, am going to be..." The three other boys watched him, all thinking that his dramatic pause wasn't so dramatic. "An advice columnist!" Remus started to choke on his food, James burst into a laughing fit so loud everyone at the Gryffindor table stared, and Peter just kept on eating, oblivious to the news. After a loud period of coughing, Remus said,

"What? You're joking, right?" Sirius looked at him with a glare on his face.

"No, I am not joking. I did some thinking last night, and I've decided that it's time to share my wisdom with my fellow Hogwarts students."

"Wisdom? What wisdom? Oh, it must be hiding behind the dust bunnies." James laughed at him, and Sirius face fell.

"I will prove you all wrong. I will write an advice column, and it will be the best advice column in the history of the world!"

"We have complete faith in you," Remus said in an unreadable tone, "Only there's one problem."

"What?"

"Guys don't write advice columns. It's sort of a rule."

"Well," Sirius replied, grinning his award winning grin, "I guess I'll have to pretend to be a girl then. Now, I'm off. I have very important business to attend to." And then, Sirius Orion Black skipped away like a little school girl.

The three leftover Marauders blinked, even Peter who had been listening to their conversation.

"Did what just happen.. Really happen?" James said, unable to believe any of it.

"I think… It did." Remus replied. "What the hell has this world come to?"

Alrighty peoples, this is your assignment. You, dear fanfictioners will send in questions to Padfoot, and he will do his best to answer them. They can be related to anything you wish. Just remember, YOU are not sending in these questions, but an annonynous Hogwarts student. You may send in up to three questions, all coming from different people. If you do not send a question in, than you are not a true fan of Sirius. He is depending on you to help him prove his doubting friends wrong. Good luck with your task. NOTE: DO NOT SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO ME. SEND THEM TO pshhhh yeahh. SHE IS IN CHARGE OF CHOOSING THE QUESTIONS THAT WILL BE IN THE SIRIUS' COLUMNS. :)