The full title for this is "Shuffle To The Beat (Of My Heart)" but since they don't let you do parentheses―to my knowledge, anyway,―it's listed as just "Shuffle To The Beat" but I thought you guys should know the full title.

Anyway, this was just supposed to be a collection of drabbles based off songs on my iPod. My original thought was that I'd put my iPod on shuffle and write for the length of whichever song was playing and write whatever came to my mind based on that particular song, and then once the song ended I would stop writing and move on to writing a drabble based on the next song and so on and such-forth. But here's the thing, I sort of suck at drabbles. I'm not sure why, but I suck at short, basically. I couldn't write a drabble if my God damn life depended on it. I'm gonna try and keep things as short as I can, but I mean, I dunno, it is what it is; Fanfiction for Avatar: The Last Airbender based on songs I have on my iPod. I have a little over a thousand songs on my iPod, so hopefully I won't run out of material any time soon. I'm almost positive this has been done before, but so what; this is my take on it.

Anyway, I'll of course include the song in the chapter, I'm not gonna do the whole alternating between lyrics and the actual story thing, and don't expect every chapternone of which are connected or relate to each other unless I specify otherwiseto be exactly like the song that inspired it. In some cases, it follows pretty damn closely, but with others... You know what? Just read and decide for yourself, 'kay?

Oh, one more thing, this takes place during book three, near the beginning. Before the invasion and all that, sometime after "The Headband" and "The Painted Lady" I suppose, I didn't really give that part much thought so that's just a rough estimate, but it's accurate enough.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any music mentioned in this fic, they belong to their respective owners and we should all respect, envy, and resent them for that fact.


Song This Chapter Was Inspired By:

"Misty's Song" ~Pokémon~


Fic:

It was a quiet night in the fire nation, nary a cricket nor a badger frog making itself known. The wind was all but still, coming out every now and again to make itself known and not be forgotten, but otherwise the night was still. The stars were shinning over-head, but there was no moon this night, meaning this was a night when Katara would get little to no sleep.

Crawling out of her tent quietly, she made her way over to where the fire had been burning what only seemed like moments ago, when really it had been almost hours ago. After putting out the fire and saying good-night, Aang had made his way over to Appa and fallen straight asleep, Sokka had practically thrown himself into his tent and fallen asleep almost immediately, his snoring practically shaking the very ground it was so loud, Toph had made herself an earth tent with a couple flicks of her hands, and Katara had slowly and reluctantly climbed into her own tent, telling herself to at least try and get some sleep. She had curled up in her sleeping bag and closed her eyes, and then tried to relax every part of her body individually, tried counting sheep, tried just lying there and willing herself not to think about anything worrisome or feel the obvious lack of the moon that night, but eventually she found herself in a very familiar predicament: she couldn't sleep.

She sighed her resignation to this fact and pulled her knees to her chest, she would never tell her friends this, but she never did get much sleep on nights like this. When there was no moon in the sky, she was just so anxious and got herself so tangled up in her thoughts that sleep eluded her for the better part of the night no matter what she tried. And she was okay with it. It bugged her, and left her tired the following day, but she had time, at least, with her thoughts. No matter how much she hated it, she could at least see the up side to it. She was allowed to think. All by herself. Without any interruptions from anyone wanting her to do something or cook something or heal something or wanting to know what was the matter with her… She loved her friends and her brother, but having alone time with her thoughts wasn't exactly a bad thing. And more often than not, her thoughts always circled back to a certain Air bender, they always circle back to... Aang.

She glanced over at him. He was sleeping. Just like she should be. Despite how quiet and still it was, the night was still rather chilly, causing her to shiver and wrap her arms around herself. She should probably go back inside her tent and get in her sleeping bag, warm up and go to sleep, but… She just couldn't bring herself to. Instead, she carefully, so as not to wake up Toph, went back inside her tent, grabbed her sleeping bag, and returned to her seat, unzipping and wrapping her sleeping bag around her as best as she could and immediately she noticed a difference. How did Aang do it, she wondered, just lay out there in the night air without much protection from the elements? He was curled up with Appa, so she supposed maybe his warmth was helping Aang stay warm as well. She sighed then, and looked up at the stars. The only good thing about the night of the new moon was the fact that the view of the stars was amazing. They were so much brighter than usual that it almost made up for the lack of the moon. Almost. She would still rather have the moon around any day of the week.

Resting her head on her knees, a rhyme she'd sung as a little girl popped into her head. It was one all children sang, really, whenever they just so happened to catch a glimpse of a star on a winter night, or when they were out star-gazing with their families… It was a rhyme from simpler times, and she couldn't help but mumble it under her breath now as her eyes found the brightest star in the sky.

Starlight star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

As a little girl, she used to wish for things like winning in the next snowball fight she had with Sokka and a bunch of other kids, or her father miraculously finding her a water-bending teacher, or being just like her mother, and later on, as she began to wish less and less frequently, for the war to end, for her mother to come back to life, for her father to come home… Eventually she just stopped wishing. She never lost hope in things in general, but she stopped wishing on simple things like eyelashes and the first and brightest star she could find in the night sky and on her birthday…

She stopped wishing for a while, but now…

She looked over at Aang and then back at the sky with a blush.

The brightest star in the sky was right above her.

She closed her eyes, said the rhyme quietly, and she wished for the first time in years. She wished that her Father and friends would make it out of the war alive, she wished that Aang would find a way to defeat the Fire Lord, she wished that he would find a fire bending teacher, she wished for her friends to be happy, she wished every wish she had kept locked up inside over the years and then, when she was done, she made one final wish, a wish she almost didn't let herself think about, but had to, in the end, because it was something that mattered, something that would make her… happy.

She shook her head and looked back at Aang, he was still sleeping, snoring lightly, and smiling. He must have been having a good dream. Sokka's snoring had died down a bit and Katara could hear some mumbling coming from his tent, so he was probably dreaming, too. Most likely, she figured, about meat or something. Momo was in his tent with him, she remembered, she just hoped he didn't try biting his tail again like he'd done before, otherwise the lemur would probably scratch his face up, maybe gouge his eyes out; Momo didn't, as a rule, like his tail to be bitten, or pulled on, or stepped on, or anything, really. A lesson Sokka had learned on many occasions the hard way. Toph was also snoring lightly, but other than that, Katara had no way of telling if the earth bender was dreaming or really sleeping and not merely pretending for Katara's sake, something she'd been known to do in the past.

I wish I had the words to tell Aang how I really feel about him.

She blushed once again as the words played themselves over in her head, making her wonder… How did she really feel about him? Obviously as more than a friend, otherwise she wouldn't have wished that. It was more than a passing crush, that much she was sure of. Sure, in the beginning she'd thought it was just a crush. She blushed at any close contact, she smiled a lot around him, she got butterflies in her stomach when she was around him, leaving her in an almost constant state of a fluttering stomach, considering how much time they truly did spend together. She thought it was just a crushhe was, after all, the only guy not related to her she'd seen since hitting puberty,and that it would pass soon enough. There had even been that thing with Jet that had almost convinced her whatever she was feeling for Aang would pass soon enough, but then… It didn't. It stuck around and wouldn't leave, making her wonder just what it was she truly felt for him. If it was more than just a crush, just what was it?

Most girls they'd met in their travels had only seemed to be infatuated with Aang because he was the Avatar, a celebrity of sorts, and so young, too; he could easily marry into the family of any of the girls they'd met a few years down the line and no one would bat an eyelash at it. They would applaud it, lap the news up like they had been dying of thirst before he came along and brought them this gift that was as precious as water… She could see it in their eyes. They wanted him to like any of them back; admit he'd fallen for them the second he laid eyes on them. It sickened her. She wanted to water bend them all the way to the Fire Nation, she was so mad and sickened and out-raged and… and jealous.

She was jealous of them...

Even though Aang was never anything other than friendly and polite to them, they were still threats. All of them. She hated herself for thinking like that, but she was jealous of the attention they got from Aang, she was jealous that they were able to so boldly make their feelings for him so obvious. In the rational part of her mind, she figured it was probably because they knew he'd never go for them, and that they'd probably never see him ever again and they might as well make use of their time around the almighty Avatar…

She didn't have that luxury. She saw Aang every single day, so if something went wrong―if she came out and told him how she felt, however that was, and he didn't feel the same way back… How was she to face him day in and day out? It would be too weird.

And there it was. Why she really couldn't admit anything about her feelings for Aang, even to herself. She didn't know if he felt the same way. She was terrified of him not feeling the same way. Sokka and Toph were always teasing him about his crush on her, and he blushed and scrambled for some other subject to talk about, always denying how he felt, but what did it all mean, anyway? Ugh, sometimes she really hated being alone with her thoughts. Sure, sometimes she was able to make sense of things, sort through the confusion of everything, but other times she just jumbled them up even further and made a big mess of it. Even though she had straightened certain things out, she'd made a complete mess of everything else, so she wasn't really sure how she should chalk this night up as, a win or a loss…

A yawn escaped her lips, brushing her scowl away. How long had she been staring at Aang's sleeping form, anyway? She blushed, if he'd been awake, this realization would have been a lot more awkward than it was, but at the moment, it was nothing more than a tiny embarrassment, a reminder, more than anything, that she would have to be more careful in the daytime if she went off to think like that; if Sokka or Aang or Toph caught her staring at him… Well, she wouldn't be getting off the hook so easily.

It was getting time for her to go to bed now. It was finally approaching that tipping point where her fatigue out-weighed her anxiety, meaning she might be able to get in a few hours of sleep, at least. It was about time for her to head back to her tent, fix her sleeping bag, curl up, try to keep warm, drift off into dreamless slumber…

Instead of going towards her tent, however, she stood up carefully and slowly with her sleeping bag still wrapped around her body, and made her way over to Aang and Appa. The wind had picked up for the moment, and she wished for a second that he had hair so she could brush it out of his face. She settled, however, for standing there over him, a small smile finding its way to her face as she took in his own wide, goofy grin. He seemed to be having a good dream. She wondered what it was about, but then decided it didn't matter as long as it was a good one. Then she did something that surprised herself. She took her sleeping bag off and allowed herself to be exposed to the cool wind and let it paint her arms and legs with goose bumps for a moment, and spread it out quietly over Aang's sleeping form. Then, still as careful and quiet as she could manage, she slid under her sleeping bag and next to Aang, still being careful not to wake him. She cuddled up next to him and took in his face; he wouldn't mind her sleeping with him, just this one night. If he asked in the morning, she would simply tell him she'd had a nightmare and had figured it'd be okay if she slept with him, to keep the bad dreams away. He would buy that. He would even like that answer. She felt bad about lying to him, but what was she supposed to do, tell him she couldn't sleep because of the new moon, watched him sleep, wished on a star fore her to figure out a way to tell him she loved him and then curled up next to him for some reason unknown even to her? He was a good friend and a nice guy and all, but even he would think she was a littleOh.

Love.

Was that it? With half-lidded eyes, she smiled. The word felt right. Made her heart swell up, almost made her want to cry. She loved him. That was it. That was why. It was the answer to everything. But did he love her back? Another problem, she figured, for another day when she was fully rested.

Still, before she drifted off to sleep, before she even got comfortable enough for that to be an option, she looked at him and mumbled, "I love you." And was given a mini-heart attack when he stirred slightly beside her and rubbed his eyes before turning to her, his eyes still coated with sleep, and asked,

"You say something, Katara?"

She shook her head lightly and quietly said, "I didn't say anything, Aang. Goodnight." He shrugged his shoulders slightly and allowed his eyes to droop back shut and his head to roll back onto Appa, not even registering her presence. She was glad for that, thankful even that he hadn't been entirely sure she'd said something; she didn't know how she would explain away what she said, otherwise. But she didn't have to worry about that. Not tonight, anyway. All she had to worry about now was getting whatever sleep she could manage, and with Aang so near, she had a feeling that wouldn't be hard to do.

Her eyes fell shut and with one final wish to a star she could no longer see, she slipped off, grabbing every second of sleep possible, her last wish of the night slipping off the edge of consciousness with her and hanging on for the last final seconds as she crossed the barrier between being awake and being asleep.

Star light star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

I wish Aang would love me back.

Fin.


The "Star light star bright" thing isn't a line in this song, for those of you who've never heard it, I just thought it would be a nice little touch. The part at the end where Katara is all "I love you" and Aang is all, "You say something, Katara?" That's based on the very end of the of "Misty's Song" and if you've never heard it before, go look it up. I'm sure it's on YouTube somewhere. Anyway, the part at the end after Misty, I guess, finishes singing, Ash yawns and is all, "Did you say something, Misty?" And Misty is just all, "Me? N-No, I didn't say anything, Ash. Goodnight." Or something like that. And I just had to include that bit in this. It was too perfect not to, you know? I don't know if the thing about the new moon is true or not, but we're going to pretend it is. Anyway, enough of my mouth.

Be sure to let me know what you think!

Always,
~Hisa-Ai~