Judgement
by Bonnie E.
Notes:
This story is technically a FF6-FF7 crossover, and will make much more sense if you read my fic entitled "Rebirth" in the FF6 series first. Actually it will give you kind of that o.O look if you haven't. So I highly suggest reading it first.Sephiroth was alone, as he always was -- his soul barely clinging to his mortal form. He had been cast down by Cloud Strife, a young man who had recently become a rival of Sephiroth's. But it hadn't always been that way. Cloud had been a Shinra guard for almost a year, and had shown such potential that he was sent to training camp for entrance into the Shinra elite troops, SOLDIER. Sephiroth remembered when he had met the boy, in the SOLDIER pre-infusion camp where he prepared new troops. The boy's skills impressed him. Even for someone who had not yet been infused with Mako, the potential in the boy was obvious to Sephiroth. But not everyone was physically able to be in SOLDIER. Most people suffered from Mako poisoning after being infused with the Jenova cells that set the elitist troops apart. Only the strong could survive continual infusions. Cloud, unfortunately, was like most people on the world. He suffered from Mako poisoning and was therefore tossed from SOLDIER before even becoming one of them. But Sephiroth saw too much potential in Cloud to not give him a chance. He personally chose to help the boy improve and become stronger in the hopes one day Cloud's body would be strong enough to withstand the infusion. As the next year passed, Sephiroth also began to like the boy as a person. He was still so innocent and vibrant, and Sephiroth knew Cloud reminded him of someone he had known long ago. He brought Cloud along on missions as a guard whenever he could, to give the boy practice. Cloud had also taken a shine to another SOLDIER officer, Zack. Cloud looked upon Zack like an older brother. And Sephiroth was often paired with Zack on missions.
But then, on a routine mission to Nibelheim, things had gone all wrong. Professor Hojo, head of the Science Division of Shinra, had been planting human DNA into the reactor cores at the Nibelheim Mako reactor. Sephiroth's past was quite a mystery to him. He knew he had memories he had forgotten. He had been told stories of growing up in the labs of Shinra, an experimental creature. Those had been his last memories, after all, though he didn't really remember being a child. Hojo had told him his mother was Jenova. But otherwise, how had been created? Like the mutated beasts that now burst from the reactor and attacked the surrounding area? No! It couldn't be true.
Something led him to the basement of the giant mansion in Nibelheim. Rumour had it that people from Shinra had once lived there, and that there was a giant library in the basement. Perhaps there, he could find his answer.
Something in Sephiroth changed as he began to piece together what he believed to be the missing pieces in his life. He was the son of Jenova, and Jenova had been an Ancient, one of a race of powerful magic users. The Ancients, also known as 'Cetra', had lost their beloved Promised Land to the humans long ago. Sephiroth realized he had to get the Promised Land back. In the process, Sephiroth had burned Nibelheim, Cloud's home town, and slaughtered all the people he could for the cause of his ancestors.... But still something deep within him shouted, 'No. This can't be true. There's something that doesn't fit,' but he ignored the voices. Yet, it was clear to Sephiroth now. It had been a lie. A very careful lie concocted by Professor Hojo....how he hated Hojo... But Hojo was not the only one at fault. Though Sephiroth hadn't seen it at the time, he realized he had believed what he wanted to believe. Besides, he had other motives to find the Promised Land. He made excuses, big ones. "I want to find the Promised Land to avenge my people", "I want to find the Promised Land and become God", nothing was beyond stretching, like an addict making excuses for his behaviour. For deep within him, he knew with the Promised Land came an endless supply of Mako energy. He had always craved it like an addict craved drugs, and his quest to find it had often been obsessive. Maybe Mako was addictive, he couldn't know. Perhaps all the excuses were more for his own good than the rest of the world, secretly trying to convince himself of the truth in his lies. He eventually believed he wanted it to rule the world. But really, it had always been for the Mako....
His betrayal sat on his darkened heart. "Cloud...I'm sorry..." he whispered, too weak and too quiet to be heard, his guilt filling him.
His days of pondering in the basement of Shinra Mansion had taught him about the origin of his people -- all carefully planted for him to see -- he knew that now Hojo's tyranny had stretched much beyond the sinister creatures in the reactors at Nibelheim. He remembered the false memories Hojo began to plant in Sephiroth's crippled memory. The fact he was an experimental creature, created in a laboratory, of course, was a lie. No wonder he didn't ever remember being a child. Sephiroth was not a clone, or a child of Jenova, but had been created -- molded by the things Hojo had planted in his memories and in the basement of Shinra Mansion. Books and books, selective, yet detailed accounts on the Cetra peoples, their history, their culture, and information on Jenova and the Jenova project -- the Jenova which he had been told was his mother. What a lie. He remembered it all now. The Esper Siren was his mother. And his father -- a mere human longshoreman. In a way, the Espers were very much like the Cetra. Probably they were one and the same -- they just weren't known as themselves any more. Over time the legends and beliefs changed and were altered, through translation to and from languages, things were changed, either deliberately or innocently. Sephiroth couldn't know for sure. He could now also remember when he had first come to Midgar, many years before now -- how many had it been? Perhaps twenty, maybe more...twenty five, yes...he had returned to the area that many years ago, in his memory, had been towns named Nikeah and South Figaro...the land had since drifted together, he supposed. He remembered that they had once been on two different islands. But when was that? He couldn't even remember how old he was -- ancient, he supposed.
That was when other memories began to come to him. The face of a woman -- no, two -- one with light brown hair, the other's dark gold.
"Jenna...Daryl..." he whispered. "I -- I remember...I remember who -- who I am...It was all a lie. Shinra, Jenova, the Ancients...all -- a lie...I am half-Esper....a -- freedom fighter....for good and justice...."
He stopped, the very thought painful to him. What an evil man he had become -- no good he had done could outweigh the evil.
So his fate had been set. But he hated it.
"I'm sorry...everyone...Cloud...Jenna, Daryl...I've let you down...I --guess I'll never see any of you again...even though I've waited over a millennia for it...I suppose I deserve it. My dearest friends always had such faith in me, as did Siren, my mother...but I am worthless. I have nothing but my evil deeds..."
He felt his eyelids close.
Now he was floating in an engulfing blackness. Was this what it was like to die? This eerie silence...?
"Where am I?" he asked.
Where do you believe it to be?" came a strong, male voice.
"It's neither the Holy Skies or the Great Fire..."
"You are in the region known as Judgement."
"I am an evil man....I lived evil, and I shall die evil. I need no judgement."
"We are all judged on our existences."
His life began to flash before him...he tried to close his eyes, but he could not escape it.
"No! I don't wish to see!" he shouted, but the images would not cease. So he gave up and watched.
He smiled at the good memories -- those of Daryl, his Worldsaver friends, Jenna, Karlan and young Daryl. He found a new appreciation for those good times as he saw them broadcast. They would soon be lost to him, he knew it. But his life had also had plenty of disappointment, anger and anguish. His parents, Daryl, Jenna, everyone he had ever loved had died on him. As the years passed, the losses held him back, and with each one, ruined a bit of the light in his soul. He stopped making friends, associating with anyone, just to avoid losing them. He held onto the photographs of his loved ones, but like everything, they, too, also cracked and faded into dust. That was when he felt his memories slipping away. First he forgot his Worldsaver friends, one by one, then Karn and Marle, then Karlan and young Daryl, Nathan and Heather...
When he lost his first memories of Jenna and Daryl, his wives, he felt not only his memories, but his sanity slipping away. That was how Shinra had been so easily able to manipulate him. They told him about Jenova being his 'mother', the ancient Cetra people, the 'Promised Land'... and in his desperation to latch onto something, he did.
Which led him to his atrocities. They also played out before him, all of them.
Long ago, back when he had still been sane, he had also done some evil. He felt it justified back when he did it. He killed the men that were accused of killing Jenna. But he hadn't just killed them. His own rage had made him mutilate their corpses and leave them to rot in the warehouse district of South Figaro. He had no excuse for it. Just blind rage over the lack of justice that had been shown through the courts of Figaro that had allowed the men to go free. But, he learned later, that the two men had been innocent after all. A month later, the true culprits were found. Though he had felt remorse for it after the fact, he had shut it out of his memory, convincing himself that what he had done wasn't so bad. The men were hardly model citizens, anyway. But now, put into perspective, he realized that every life, no matter how it was lived, is precious to someone, even if just to the person themselves.
But most poignant were his evils done most recently. The burning of Nibelheim, killing all of its citizens that got in his way...manipulating Cloud, the young man who had once been like a son to him...the summoning of Meteor, putting the world in ultimate danger...the endless trail of death that had followed him in the last few months....most horrendous of those, Cloud's love, Aerith. He hadn't even given her a chance to fight back. He had snuck up behind her and ran her through with his sword. He had laughed at Cloud and his pain as the young man weeped over her body. But he had forgotten how painful that feeling could be -- holding a dead love in your arms.
He thought of Daryl and Jenna and couldn't stand it. Like Cloud, he had lost the women he loved. He had sent the boy into the same sorrow he felt when he held their bodies in his arms -- the beginning of his life's first dark age, and then the end of his old life. The pain....he still felt it, even now.
"I've killed thousands, maybe millions of people...and Aerith -- the love of Cloud's life..." He bowed his head, genuine tears in his eyes. "I've done too much evil...I can't reverse what I've done. Skies, I would if I could, I'd do anything....but I'm willing to accept my fate...whatever it may be..."
He stood up proudly, speaking to the air.
"Goodbye, my beloved Jenna, my sweet Daryl...I'll always love you both... and this time, I will never forget you."
Before him, he saw a light -- he was flying towards it, a little unwillingly. It was so bright, but it didn't burn his eyes. And yet, he also sensed that it was not evil.
As he flew into it, his body became a part of its very form. He felt warm and calm and happy all at once.
"This -- this can't be -- the Great Fire -- can it?"
His vision cleared...it was a beautiful place, beyond comprehension.
That was when he heard the voice...
"Setzer..."
He closed his eyes. He hadn't been called that in almost a thousand years. And even as he heard it, he knew whose voice it was. His heart leapt.
"Daryl..!?" he said, swinging around to face her.
There she was, smiling that beautiful smile. How he had missed it.
"I -- I must be dreaming this," he thought. "There's no way this could be the Great Fire..."
"This is no dream, my dear," came another female voice, the Nikean accent a dead giveaway.
"Jenna!"
When he turned again, he saw not only Jenna, but all his friends and family standing before him. Karlan, young Daryl, his parents, and Karn and Marle...and his Worldsaver friends.
"You're all here..." he breathed.
Then he remembered his latest deeds and looked away from all of them again.
"I don't see how any of you can bear to look at me. I don't deserve to be here..."
"Of course you do," Daryl said. "You are capable of love. It was your love which drove you to madness. You were so old, it was only natural."
"Even I was a little quirky close to my end," Terra spoke.
"And even though you did all those rotten things, you felt so bad about them when you realized what you'd done," Relm said. "That's why you're here."
"Besides, you've done plenty of good in your life, too. The Great Father can't just ignore that," Strago added.
"I understand what you're going through," Celes said. "Only I went through it in the living world. You can't let it ruin your life -- or afterlife in this case. The Great Father feels you should be here. Feel graced and blessed. And remember only enough so you don't repeat your mistakes."
"We've all missed you," young Daryl said. "I'm just glad you're finally here."
"Me too," Karlan agreed.
"Thank you all for not hating me."
His friends smiled, their only response.
"Well, we'll leave you alone with Daryl and Jenna," Locke said.
"Alright."
His friends floated away. All except one.
Relm stood before him, silent. They had been best friends once. She took him in a bear hug. "You big jerk...I thought I was never going to see you again.....don't ever leave me again, do you hear me? You promised me, remember?"
"I don't recall promising anything of the sort."
"Yeah, you Mr. 'Short-term Memory'. Well, whatever. You're here now. I have my best friend back....I was so worried..." she whispered in his ear. The she released him. "Well, I guess I should leave you alone with Daryl and Jenna. But if you need anything from me just ask."
Setzer nodded as she floated away.
He turned to his wives from the living world. All at once, he realized there was a small problem. His eyes darted from one woman to the other.
Daryl, his sweet Daryl, had been his first friend and first love. And first beloved wife. She was smart, brave, and always spoke her mind. In a younger time, there was no question as to their compatibility. But....he was different now. Since Daryl had died, he had changed. He'd become more settled, less of a rogue. The love he felt for her was still strong, but he still just couldn't see himself happy with her. Not any more.
He turned to Jenna, his last wife. The one whom he had met after he had changed. She was passionate and friendly, always smiling, and always loving a challenge. Her more simple approach to life was what attracted him to her in the first place. While Daryl had been very serious, Jenna was more carefree. He was afraid to admit it, but he had to be honest with himself. He still loved Daryl very much. But he just imagined himself being much happier spending eternity with Jenna.
"Well.....I assume I am faced with quite a dilemma here," he spoke. "I don't know how to say this....but...."
"Wait a minute. Let me speak," Jenna said.
He chose to give her a chance.
Jenna stood next to a young man who looked at Setzer curiously.
"This is Doan."
"Ah, yes. Your destined."
It was at that moment that it hit him. Jenna had a destined mate. Like he and Daryl, Jenna and Doan had grown up together in Nikeah, fallen in love, and been married. But their relationship, like his with Daryl, had ended tragically with Doan being killed in a ferry accident. Jenna often spoke very affectionately of Doan. How he was her destined. And it was commonly known among the living that ones who are destined would spend eternity together, too.
"Doan and I grew up together. We were pals -- forever. I guess we never realized....that our friendship was the strength of our relationship. Back then, we were both so young. We didn't know anyone else. We didn't know what life outside of Nikeah was like. But....Doan and I....we tried to make a go of it here, and we came to the conclusion that we just weren't happy together any more. I've changed so much. I'm a completely different person than I was when I was eighteen. I decided I could only ever be happy spending eternity with you. Despite what destiny dictates, I want you, Setzer. You made me so happy. You taught me to love life again, and see the good side of things."
Daryl stepped forward. "I know you feel the same way. We were both so young. Friends forever. We were through so much together. But we never really knew who we were back then. We were each other. We didn't have a chance to discover who we were -- separately. Not until after I was gone. I like the person you've become, Setzer. But -- I know we'd never be happy together. You belong with Jenna. Age sometimes blinds us to exactly who our destined mate is. Young ideas and hopes. Maybe -- I was never your destined. Perhaps it was Jenna all the time. At any rate, you two should spend eternity together. I -- have found someone to spend mine with. Doan....is a wonderful person. I didn't mean for it to happen. But when you meet someone and everything just clicks, you know there's something there. Kind of strange, us getting together like this. But we're very happy. Doan gives me the kind of stability I didn't even know that I needed."
"I -- don't know what to say...."
Jenna spoke up. "Say you're happy with the way things turned out...."
"I -- am..." He stepped up to Daryl. "I just want you to know....that I'll always have a special place for you in my heart. My sweet Daryl."
"And you in mine....my daring Setzer."
"We're friends forever, right?"
She nodded. "Right."
He turned to face Jenna, who had come up behind him. "I've missed you so much...." he whispered, taking her in an embrace. "I'm -- so glad I got to see you again..."
"I was so worried we wouldn't..."
"So was I..."
The two felt a pull at their spiritual cloaks as a figure whizzed by them. Setzer instantly remembered her as the young girl whom he had killed mere months ago. Cloud's love, Aerith. He felt himself slink down ever so slightly. But even as she glanced at him, her glare did not change. There was no animosity in her face. Strange. For the first time in a long time, someone who knew him as Sephiroth rather than Setzer did not look upon him with hatred and fear. He, the very person who had taken her life. He couldn't understand it.
"Come! Everyone, come!" she called out, moving on. "The world's in danger, and we're its only hope! Follow me!" she called out.
"Wait!" he called out, stopping her. "Don't you....recognize me?" he asked, completely bewildered. "Why do you not hate me?"
She said, "Sephiroth, if you are here, the Great Father has seen some good in your heart. That's good enough for me. Now come with me. You have a chance to set right what you made wrong."
"Meteor..." he said.
She nodded quickly. "Come. We must hurry. We'll form a barrier under it, and maybe it'll smash the thing to bits. We've got to try, right?"
"I'm right behind you. Coming, Jenna?"
She nodded, and followed. As they floated along, they rallied their friends, until everyone in the Lifestream was following he and Aerith to the sight where Meteor was falling on the earth. And no matter how quickly he flew, Jenna stayed by his side.
As he looked deep into Jenna's eyes, he knew that in some ways he had reached his own Promised Land. And nobody could ever take that from him again. For he was Setzer Gabbiani. And now he always would be.
ONWARD...
As usual, none of these characters except for Jenna and Karlan (for the one whole line he had in this fic) are mine. Unfortunately they belong to Squaresoft. Believe me, if they didn't, I'd have claimed them long ago.
