Disclaimer: I'd like everyone to know something very important. This information may amaze and astound you, so please, listen closely: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Mother Goose, or Warner Bros. Cartoon characters mentioned.
I know, I know; all of you are very surprised, eh?
"Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, typing a fiction work. He had written a page, when the lawyers, they came, and dragged little Horner to court." –Ego-chan on the reason we have disclaimers, people.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Then Comes the Accordion Sound
Ryou Bakura's POV
"Seto? Seto!"
I can't find you anymore because there
is nothing to find.
"Ryou, my reputation is at
stake. I've found someone else."
And I wasn't listening either. Not
till it was just too late.
"Seto? Seto!"
By then, you were gone. Now I live in
my head, wondering what I did because this can never be your fault. I watch the
television, but I don't watch it. I think about other things. While those
little cartoons run around moronically after their dreams and goals I try to
relate myself to something, anything.
I don't have people here in my room, just these American animations. If I watch long enough, I can compare myself to everything they represent. You never liked this, but I don't have to worry about it.
You're not here to judge me.
So now I can reflect, make wishes and
avoid your name. Maybe if I analyze everything it will help.
No, it will not. Nothing will do. I
can't forget you at all. I can just watch some wolf-coyote thing fall down a
cliff and hit the ground.
Then comes the accordion sound.
I smile at this pathetically. It is a
sign of hope for the little canine on the screen. He rises to continue his
endless hunt for that bird creature. The actions are entirely third grade, but
I still love it all like I was five. I never told you I watched such simple
episodes when things get too complex. I do and it usually helps.
Usually.
Now I'm just making wishes on the
animations. I need to connect myself to something because I've been sundered
from you. I've chosen an interesting obsession, haven't I?
Too bad I can't make all of this real
and accepted. I want everything to be like these childhood shows. I want to see
all of this simplified.
I wish this world were like innocent
cartoons, where one could get slammed over and over and bounce right back up.
Where others could hammer you into the ground with their little mallets and you
could just crawl out of your hole, okay save for an extremely temporary red
swell like Mt. Everest on the peak of your head. I want a world where you can
keep running right over those cliffs and hope you can make it if you only don't
look down once and realize just how far Earth is below you. If you do plummet,
you can always bet that you'll make an indention right in the shape of your
body and lift up with a pretty accordion number.
I wish the outcome of all my falls
were so predictable, at least then I'd know what to expect.
But now I get the lovely chance to descend without the slightest notion of where I will land. I can't really agree with the fact that I appreciate the offer at Originality. If millions hadn't already done this in thousands of those seemingly "plot less" romance movies, I would be feeling greatly alone right about now.
It's a good thing I'm a strong person.
Actually, no, I'm not strong. I'm
pathetically weak. I can't survive well under changes.
But you still found it okay to leave
and I'm bothered by it.
If this is some crazy little American
cartoon, I don't get your joke. I usually ignore and look away from things
detrimental to my mood, but this is just too big to avoid. You didn't exactly
turn and walk away, you sort of snuck out of the mood. You fell out of your
emotions almost as quick as you fell in and pulled me down with you.
And now I'm trying to resurface only
to see there is no water. I blindly dived head first off the diving board into
a dry cement pool of false beliefs. My head has split open and there's no
person here to help. I'm stuck taking care of myself and frankly, I really
don't know how. You ran off with my first aid kit and my emotional support. You
took everything when this stared, when I trusted you. I remember.
You tied a blind over my eyes and told
me it was going to be okay, I wouldn't trip under your all-knowing guidance.
You said things, whispered ideas into my mind and convince me they were my
dreams, that I should try them, one by one, and if it was good the first time,
I should keep at it.
Nothing was really that much greater
the second or third try and I got bored.
You were fine though, you smiled, I sensed it if I didn't quite see. You just carried me for a little while then set me down and told me what to do next.
This was to improve me. I had the
beauty to be with you, but I lacked the foresight and motivation to really do
much. I had intelligence but you died to see how I left it lying about
pointlessly in small comments and theoretical examinations I usually gave up
after a good night's sleep. I drugged my mind, left any goals that tried to
warm in my mental fire out in the cold. You hated my potential to do so much
and response by completing so little.
But I really just needed you there. I
needed you to keep me from killing myself with an idiot's carelessness. I
compared life to cartoons and little fancy plots to the stories I never fully
tried to write. You couldn't believe it when you saw what I did with my little
motivation. I wrote things, dreamed up sagas with everything mathematically, if
not ethically, correct. I drew bright little illustrations to go with these.
They were everywhere after we got in a fight, little pictures over there, some
paragraphs under the bed.
You scowled; you admonished my creativity.
You sighed, and cried, and told me you tried so very hard. You said I could do
so much more, but you knew I couldn't. I was a child and you had already been
forced to grow up at a very early age. I loved your stamina to succeed in so
much. I could believe in a way that you were something a little more than
human.
You inspired my epics. You brought on
with your presence those little things you hated so much. I just wanted to put you
to words really.
Did you even bother to read my stumbling attempts? I hated you at times but I loved you forever.
I still do and I almost despise myself
for doing so. I could follow you to the nonexistent corners of the world if
only you'd come back and lead me again. I would try harder to be what you want
if you'd only not go away.
But that one great Evil rose out of
the Hell of an outside world. It consumed you and pulled you away. Was she a
goddess to match the king of the world? Was I something human, too mortal to
even warn before you just, well, "up and" left? I don't appreciate or
understand this.
How very rude. Here I can now chalk
you up next to my plans to catch some blasted cartoon creature. I gather
together my arsenal of Acme supplies and pray for once they can work.
I'll catch the roadrunner first. Then
I'll go after you.
That little desert poultry "meep,
meeping" throughout my mind: It is my lost sanity. I may have to get it
back before I can confront you and your Hera of the financial Mt. Olympus.
I won't be famous; there will be no tragic plays and poems on my vain ego trip of a quest. From what I've conceived, the people outside, the people who write those things, they are part of the multitude that turned you against me.
They all had this big problem with us.
We where the greatest bite of information and contemplation to chew over since
those immortal gods walked among their people. Everyone knew and everyone
wanted to learn more. You couldn't turn around without bumping into one of
those long curious noses. I actually think I broke a few. It wasn't my fault,
they should all have known better. I'm really, really clumsy.
You should have shut up about how much
of a klutz I prove to be in moments calling for impeccable grace. Maybe then I
wouldn't have written that poem about bad dancers you found and tore with a few
scoffs at my immaturity.
I just nodded. I never said much. When
everyone else came over I hid in my bottomless tunnel while you and your
associates in crime against me tried to get stories out of my mind. Your one
friend, the businessman from Beijing, he liked my works. For a while you
stopped criticizing what I did with my precious intellect. But, when I started
to obsess over what I was doing, ignoring even you believe it or not, you grew
frustrated. Once I paid attention to your mood it was okay.
And then you let more people over and
they all grabbed their guns and went hunting for "wabbits": my ideas.
You did try to find a profit in what I did since I couldn't possibly run things
if you went down. No, all you had financially went to family members. You
wanted to make sure I could take care of myself sans your cash inflow.
I'm an idiot, so as you see,
everything was fine by me. Everything was nice and comfortable till suddenly,
(ta da!) you were just gone. I still tried to walk with the misconception you'd
be there. I don't know when I had to run, but all the feelings sped up as I
realized you had been taken away. I ran till I flew right over the edge of that
cliff your absence left in my path.
I would have kept going but I looked down like the moron I tend to be.
I saw the ground and tried to sprint
back to land, but it was too late. I defied gravity and prayed a few seconds in
a pathetically hilarious murmur before the wind began to whistle with my
descent. It was all terribly stupid, how I had lived with you there behind me.
I repeated the same things over and over. With you I was restrained, freed, and
disappointed; restrained, freed, and disappointed; so on and so forth. Like
Sisyphus and his wonderful rock rolling sans the highlight of being a Greed
myth, I repeated the same actions, kept you entertained for a long time. But
finally, you got tired and moved away. I was too easy; you wanted something
else for a while, a challenge. Does she provide that?
I am not too very proud to admit that
I do miss you. I'd confess this if you'd let me, you know. I'd try harder to
strain my mind to politics and machinery, the laws and the technology
advancements. Those happen to be your best suit. Maybe if we had more in common
you could come back?
But I just keep falling as I realize
even more you may never return. The ground pulls up to embrace me all too soon.
It pulls me down into it and I know I'm losing everything. I have made a
comical hole in the shape of my animated mind with all its false realities.
I sit up, folded and bruised. I wait
for the music.
Then comes the accordion sound.
Or not.
I'll have no musical number playing
till I see exactly what mood I'm in. No accordion, that is the sound of hope in
the fact that I'm a buoyant soul, a flimsy little cartoon character laughing so
everyone else will smile and getting over my mistakes.
As you could maybe see, I can't come
up with such funny, happy music. I lift myself and there's some especially
sorrowful requiem echoing all around. I wonder if you chose this to mock me.
No, people think you're cold hearted, but you're not that cruel. You
know what goes too far with me. You could hate everything about my ways and
still show enough tact to know what not to do.
No, I think she did this. It's
her fault and now she has summoned a Hellish orchestra to playing as my reality
meets my fantasy world.
But I'm not going to do anything to
her. She's not entirely guilty, I mean, you had to fall in love with her to
actually leave me here, right? You had to stop caring somewhere, but I could
never notice. I was stupid and blind folded, I could not see.
I wonder if I'll be remembered. I
wonder just how long you and her will last. For all I know, the both of you
could just end up happily ever after. But, if for some reason you don't, I
guess I'll always be here. You were just so good when you had me that I can't
break away.
Maybe there's something wrong with me,
but I do love you. I don't feel like I could get over it anytime soon. I really
don't. My nature has just caused me to become so dependant on you and ignore
everything con to our relationship.
I really thought it could last forever, that it would go on till our final hours.
Well, this just proves to show which
one of us was the actual brains in the outfit.
And now I'm going to climb back up
again and try to at least see the popularity cage that has twined its bars
about you. I'm some idiot dirty feline trying to catch a glimpse of something
delicious. You are the socially accepted face in the cage and no one will ever
let me near you again. You might just feel that strange longing for freedom
everyone else seems to have forgotten around you.
So I can't come close. I can't ruin
your respectable status with all that I am. Your people look down at things
like me, the submissive commonwealth of your little kingdoms. No, you have to
keep with confident well-bred financial supports, not quiet, self-pitying
peasant creatures.
Creatures such as myself that will not
forget you.
When you see me again, on the street
or in your dreams, don't you dare say my name. Let the accordion play it's solo
in your 'happiness' you never used to value before. She might hear you. Even a
whisper while you're dozing could severely arch some brows. Don't do it. If you
see me, run before I can know you're there. You're supposed to prove to the
world you're like everyone else. Ignore the ugly little things you once loved.
The simple mind is easily amused by
simple things. The complex mind is amused by the simplicity of things.
Keep it that way. Don't try to find
me, though I'll be waiting for you here. You don't want all this again and I
have to look after you as well as myself. I can't survive another fall when the
accordion is serenading your pleasant descent into her arms. Think of yourself
and think about me if you ponder coming back to my open door. I know you equal
pain, even though you're all I think about. You know I equal boredom and
ignorance. We have to pretend "us" did not exist.
We should, but I can't stop thinking
about you and how you ran such a betrayal into my role-playing childish world.
Don't you dare come back and hurt me again because I might just let you.
Actually, I will let you. I
know this now. I know so much and I don't want anymore, I wish this pain in my
heart would stop. It's killing me as I watch the television.
I don't know how to make it go away except to suffer more with you. You don't care though; you're gone. I'm supposed to cover over your memory with pictures of little cartoon characters, happy faces, and sweet things. But I can't hide the obvious heartache and the curiously tormenting antics of my stomach as it keeps dropping out of existence. I wish it were not so, that all these things would stop with some amazing magical formula to freeze time. They cannot though. I do not believe in magic anymore. All I can trust is one thing and that is the cold, stale fact you have forsaken me.
I hope you're happy with her. It seems
the accordion playing enjoys the both of you a lot more than it does me. Now
every time I will see you, I'll hear that background music that's never been
with me. I can see it all in my mind now.
You walk by and….
…Then comes the accordion sound.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
There, to compensate for my few updates this week…er…month….
~Ling no Yong~
