A/N: Hi there! Aem here. I just finished Champion recently, so I may a bit all over the place with this fic, but I feel like my thoughts won't stop if I don't write this out. So yeah, this is mostly my take on the epilogue - but on Day's POV. I'm longing (and hoping) for an extra sequel, but while we wait and see (and pray) for those, I hope this fic can contribute some feels. I want to thank Ms Marie Lu for the wonderful gift that is the Legend Series and I sincerely hope she goes to write more June/Day but yeah, that's the crazy fangirl in me talking. Anyways, thank you for giving this story a shot and I hope you like it!

Warning: This is a bit long. *whacked*

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Eden said it's my 19th birthday today. To be honest, I had to dig up whether I actually cared at all about birthdays. I probably don't. But I might've. Maybe.

My brother just got back from the hospital for his usual check-ups, and since it's my birthday, I get to choose what we do for the rest of the day. Wonderful.

It's still pretty early but I honestly don't feel like doing anything already. But for Eden's sake, we went to go buy some new books – and other trinkets the little spoiled brat's been wanting. It's my goddy birthday… Well, whatever. I'll let him have all the fun.

Seeing my brother all lively and excited, minus all the numbers and texts hovering above his head, makes me really happy… as always. I felt a tingle in my right temple and out of instinct, I winced and tapped the right side of my head. It's been a usual scenario ever since I woke up from that coma. That was a year ago now, roughly, huh.

When we got to Antarctica, they filled me in on all the details regarding the status of the Republic and the Colonies… the peace talks, the United Cities... my recent coma etc. I can't really remember what happened before we got here. Eden and Lucy told me I was heavily drugged and that might've created side-effects that stayed for a while.

So yeah, I was basically fresh out of the hospital, and the meds are doing their job a little too well that I couldn't care less. What mattered to me was that Eden is safe. He'll be taken care of. Someone is excited to take us in. Oh right. And that I'm alive. Miraculously, I lived. And that, for some reason, they told me that in time, they will come back. I didn't really understand what that meant. Who will come back? Am I waiting for something…? Someone?

I watched as my brother happily hands the cashier a card, and soon after we were out of the store with a few points added to our heads for opening the door for an old couple as we headed out. "I can't wait to try these out." Eden said, fishing out his newly bought trinket.

"Careful you don't blow stuff out of the house. Last time, Lucy almost had a heart attack." I spoke, casually guiding him away from the curb. He tends to walk mindlessly. When was it that it was this easy to walk and talk without worrying about anything? Before, I'd be shot dead if I walk out like this.

"I don't want to hear that from you, you know." Eden gave me a look and I playfully ruffled his curly hair – which he hates. It's nice to have my brother with me. Everything just feels nice and right. I think.

We got to our nice little house and are welcomed by Lucy's cooking. I watched as Lucy playfully scolded Eden about how many stuff he's already brought this past few weeks and Eden sheepishly smiling as a response. Yeah. This isn't so bad. It's not really. Right?

On my 20th birthday I was given my first training as an instructor. Eden graduated from the Academy early, and not to my surprise. That curly boy is obsessed with learning. No one could've stopped him.

I on the other hand, have been recruited by Antarctica's intelligence agency and my first task is to be an instructor to educate students about the ropes of being a good information collector. I've never paid attention on how I pay attention to detail, you know? But I know someone who does. I can't recall the name, but I can hear a voice playing in my head saying stuff like – it'll take about 32500 seconds to cross this hallway – something along those lines. That same person would comment on how shiny an official's epaulettes are, or how that soldier's hair is a tad bit crooked than usual… all those odd details. I found myself laughing at the thought. I've always been amazed at how specific that person's details are. I, myself, count in my head for time too, but she's just... wait. She?

So, that person's a girl?

My 21st birthday was a party at a bar my colleagues from the intelligence agency arranged for me. It was an all-guys night out, all drinks apparently on me, but I wasn't drinking.

My rehab has been going well, and I've been given an okay by the doctors with regards to alcohol consumption a while back, but somehow I just never tried it.

The bar tender handed me a glass of what looked like wine nonetheless, and to my surprise, I took it. Wine. I'm not a big fan, but I remember an instance where I got a bottle and I shared it… with someone. I recall an alley. A building. I was laughing and I can't tell if the other was laughing too. I know it wasn't Tess – I just know it's not her… but it's someone.

My mind wanders as I work on my drink. From what I understand, my brain has been operated on. As to why, or how, the details are blurry to me. I know I'm broken – pretty broken by the Republic at some point, but I didn't realize the experiments they did on me were causing me permanent damage. Or maybe I did realize. Long story short, miraculously (as I keep saying), I managed to be a war hero and lived through a surgery that would've otherwise taken my life.

After a while, I came to realize things. I like to think I'm smart and it doesn't seem to surprise Eden and Lucy when I ask them questions here and there about odd everything is starting to look to me. My life right now is good and all, don't get me wrong – but somehow, a lot of things didn't make sense. It felt like I'm a book and a big chunk of my pages were missing. I spoke to Eden about this strange thought and Eden was nice enough to tell me the gist of it – I have amnesia of some sort. I could press on the subject, but I didn't.

Now, I know that my memory's all messed up. I know I've forgotten things, I just don't know how much. I tried asking Eden, or Lucy, for details, for stories, but I guess, for my own sake they wouldn't give me much answers… at least not as much as I would've wanted.

Not having answers was frustrating at times, but since lately, I noticed that I've been getting bouts of thoughts and information out of the blue, I stopped asking questions. Like right now, sitting in this bar and staring at the neon lights behind the bar tender, my thoughts are processing like a computer. I remember a stitz fight – a pretty significant one, and not because of the money I won out of it. I recall climbing out of a jet that just crash-landed. I recall colorful, wild advertisements that never made sense. The information was too random I urged myself to think of questions to redirect my thoughts.

How exactly did I become a war hero? What did I do? Doing these mental chants seem to help me organize things, but I know at some point I'll have to look into things. I need answers.

And so, I did my own research regarding the events that unfolded before I fell under that 5 month long sleep. Thanks to Antarctica's technology, I didn't need to do much to know significant amount of information. Those info tubes, as I like to call them, take me back to events as if I'm relieving them. I've been told by the doctors that too much thinking and digging up is going to cause me trouble, but doing nothing puts the same amount of stress in my brain, to be honest. Videos, pictures, JumboTron broadcasts… I went through ones I thought were familiar, even by a hairline. It's almost a bit too much for my brain, I think, but I push past my stress level. I've never really been good at following orders.

I'm not stupid to not realize that somehow, something is wrong with my memory regarding recent events. I remember grave, major things though… my mother, John, but I can only feel the pain like a dull ache deep inside my soul. I've mourned for them in my nightmares, even in my waking hours. Overtime, I've learned to understand that what happened to my family was no one person's fault. We were subjected to such an unlucky star, but I would otherwise recall an image of my mother – so bright and peaceful, and I eventually learned how to let go of the pain. She does not want me to mourn. She wants me and Eden to live. And that's what I promised myself I would do.

I braved a journey to find out more about things unfamiliar to me – the recent ones. Most of them shock me, but a brush of familiarity always comes from somewhere at the back of my mind. There are some events that I felt so foolish for not remembering them – like how could I forget that I fought alongside the Republic – which I hated with passion for the longest I can remember? I do remember agreeing to side with that new Elector – what was his name again, right – Anden, but I can't seem to put a finger as to why I would do such a thing. I trusted the Elector. I must have. But someone made me, or helped me, rather, to understand that this Elector is not like his father.

It was a long trance, but I snapped out of it as a colleague of mind sat beside me by the counter and standing next to him was an attractive girl with a partly shaved head. Her numbers tell me she's from an elite family, possibly a daughter of some big time person, and I caught her throwing me a wink.

My colleague left us a while after, obviously shoving the girl onto my face and the girl and I chatted for a while. She's actually nice, a bubbly one. She's probably had a few drinks and things were going well until she kind of leans in, most likely to give me a kiss. This is going a bit too fast, but I was really never one to care about those things. I used to play around with girls back in the slumps, and even ones from the higher sectors. One kiss from this stranger's no big deal.

To my surprise, I found myself on my feet and was out of the bar in a split second. There was just no way I could've kissed that girl. Not any other girl but her. I frowned, tapping my head out of instinct though there's no tingling or pain or whatsoever. Who the hell is her!?

My 22nd second birthday, I was waiting outside an examination room where Eden is currently speaking with a researcher. We were at the hospital earlier today to get our regular check-up and we've got pretty good news.

Eden's officially on a lower dosage of all his medicines and his eyes will be reassessed in the next few months to consider getting him lenses that will fit his healing eyesight. I'm down to three medications, before - I had seven, and the doctors warned me about my constant secret researching. I'm not really sure what they expect from me. They put me in as part of the Antarctica Intelligence Agency of course I'd be snooping for information. I guess they never really banned me from getting info - they just wanted me to do it moderately.

On a different note, I have heard little from my friend Tess from the Republic, but last time I spoke to her she said she's training to help at the hospital. Lately, our talks have been less and less enthusiastic, and for some reason, I can feel sadness in her voice even though she talks about fun things. It just didn't match. I catch her holding back on some details whenever she tells me stories, and I guess she and I just both felt like it's not that necessary to talk as often. I do remember one line she said from the last time we spoke though, "Perhaps in time Day, you'll remember. I know you will. And she will still be waiting…. Maybe." It was so vague to me, but I recall seeing myself cry after I heard her say this. When we ended the call, I stared at myself in the mirror. I look different. I feel different, but not really. What will I remember? Who's she? It was so frustrating that all I could do was cry.

I went to one of the United Cities on my 23rd birthday as part of my task as a member of the intelligence agency. I was there to attend a conference, but I also took the time to take in the foreign feel of this entirely new community. There were advertisements like the ones in my recollections, but it's not as much. There were Republic soldiers – a sight I haven't seen in a while, and oddly enough, Colony soldiers as well. I caught some people giving me looks, so out of reflexes I tuck my hat lower and walked with my head down.

This city is busy, but I'd say it's a good kind. I kept walking with my head down for a few more blocks until I stopped at a mini-JumboTron, I guess is how I'll call it, which shows a replay broadcast of the Republic's Elector's trip to the Colonies after the war 3 years ago. Anden's face is, in some ways, so similar to the Primo's, but also so different from it, I can never get a good hold of his image in my head. He's always a distorted Primo Elector to my eyes, only with a younger face. I was about to look away when I caught a glance of a girl, a woman – I guess – standing next to a line of soldiers, welcoming the Elector from his trip. Somehow, I noted her ponytail. She always wears it like that, I think. It just seems like it. Her face is a bit blurred since the camera's zoomed out and the monitor was small, but for some reason, there was no way I could've missed her.

There's something about her that just pulls me somehow, but the broadcast was done before I knew it and I found myself staring at a colorful advertisement of 'vocational courses to take when you turn 18!' or something like that.

My 24th birthday was spent at home by myself. Eden was out with Lucy for a movie – and I don't really fancy movies – but I think the boy's really out on a date with someone and Lucy tagged along because I wouldn't agree to him going out by himself. Yeah I know, the boy's old enough, but I just can't afford to be too careful.

I also went to get my hair cut earlier this morning. I remembered creating some commotion last time I was out in one of the United Cities and I thought I'd rather keep my trips as discreet as possible. I no longer have locks that go below my shoulder, but I just couldn't bear to have them cut too short so I ended up with a hair that falls just a tad bit above my ears, and from the back it runs just over my shirt's collar. It's short enough that I can't tie it in any way, but still long enough for me to brush a hand through it. The feeling is foreign, but it's not something awful. Not like anyone would care, really.

On my way home after that, there was an unusual number of people out in the streets – a little too much numbers and points hovering all over me that I just tried to walk past by the commotion. I didn't realize I was running towards a young woman, her dark hair oddly familiar and tied up in a ponytail. Luckily I stopped just before I hit her and to my surprise, she apologized, bowing her head over and over I couldn't see her face clearly. As she turned to walk away, for some reason, my legs moved on their own and I found myself following her. "W…wait! Hold on!" I kept yelling, shooting apologies as people got annoyed with me pushing through the crowd (I can just feel my points going down like heck), but I didn't care. I needed to catch her.

The moment she slowed down I managed to grab her by the wrist, "Hey y-…." I felt my tongue froze. What was her name? What do I call her?

When the woman looked up, I immediately let go of her wrist and apologized. "Sorry…" I bowed, "I thought you were someone else."

It was not her. I know it. I don't really know the face of who I was thinking of, but I know it's not this one. I have no idea how, but I just do. The woman looked a bit frightened but let out a small smile before rushing away and disappearing through the crown.

I found myself flipping over reports from the agency that I've brought home yesterday. I absent-mindedly fiddled with the paper clip holding the reports together. I looked at that paperclip ring in my hand before and before I knew it I was twisting the other paper clip into a ring. It was just comforting, but something's amiss. I'm making this for someone. I know I am. I just can't put my finger as to whom I'm making it for.

My 25th birthday was spent on a date with this girl I've met on my second trip out of the United Cities. I've kept my hair short, and I found that there's slightly less people who took a second glance at me. Good. Anyways, I went on a date with a girl names Cara, and she has a beautiful dark hair which she puts on a ponytail most of the time. She's originally from the colonies but she moved to the United Cities after the war with her family. The date was going well until after dinner. See, it was a nice night. Everything was clear and the stars looked great so I asked her if she would climb on top of a building with me to watch the sky. The mood calls for it, yea? But she looked at me as if I'm losing my mind. I knew then that she's scared of heights and I thought that's cute, but somehow that also ticked me off. No way would a two-story building would've scared her off.

I realized a little too late what I'm doing. I'm being a jerk - that's what I'm doing. I'm taking Cara as someone else. For goddy sake, Daniel, how could you!? I apologized to her, embarrassed down to my core, and told her to never see me again since I'm nuts and that she's better off with someone else.

To my relief, she went away and I ended up watching the sky, up on a ten-story building instead, all by myself. I fiddled with that paper clip ring on my finger and took out the other one I made before and stared at them together. Who was it that I'm making this for?

I heard a beep and turned my mike on. "Day, you there? "

Day. I haven't heard that name in a long time. It sent a flash of my antics when I was that notorious republic criminal. My days in the limelight of the Republic's most wanted list. My building-scaling adventures, blowing up jets and bases, jumping off windows… I was stuck one time while escaping a hospital and I… Wait. I remember those pretty well. What happens next? What happened after that hospital run?

"I mean, Daniel. Sorry. The chief was asking if you could come tomorrow morning to cover for Torres's inspection duties. Be at the hospital at 5 in the morning."

I feel a tingle in my head, but not so much as before, but it's there. Something… I'm remembering something. Hospital? I recall a hospital, and a soldier, a young man, lying on the ground… he's dead but I didn't kill him. I didn't.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah. I'll be there." I clicked off my mike and only now did I notice that I'm sweating. It's cold but I'm sweating. Who was it? Who was dead at the hospital when I did my run that night?

On my 26th birthday, Eden told me that he is making great progress with his project lately, and he's excited to share it. I didn't understand what he meant then, but basically, he'll be expected to go to conferences and interviews in the future if everything goes well. I didn't mind. I'm proud as heck my brother's achieving things, but I made sure that wherever he goes, I go. There's no helping that.

Turns out Eden did have a girlfriend, but they broke up recently, as per what Lucy told me. I actually took up the courage to ask Eden about it and my brother was quite open to sharing. "You never asked." He said, after I accused him of not telling me about his dating endeavors.

"I could give you tips. I am very much loved by a lot of girls you know." I told him with a sly smile.

Eden, his voice cracking a bit, laughed a bit and replied, "But you only ever really loved one." Right after he said this, he gave this face that tells me he shouldn't have said that.

"…What?" I told him, after a few moments of silence.

"I'm going to bed. I need to leave early tomorrow." That was all Eden said before he went to his room.

I went to the kitchen late that night to get some water when I heard some murmur towards Eden's room. It's almost midnight, and this kid is still awake? I sneaked towards his room, careful not to make a sound, and found that he left his door slightly ajar. He is awake. And he's talking to someone over his tablet. A live video call. I can't see from where I am who he's talking to, but she sounds oddly familiar.

"I thought I told you to never talk about her." Tess. There's no doubt that's Tess. Eden shuffled a bit and I could see Tess's face now. A little bit older, a little more mature looking, but still Tess. I've only heard her voice since we left the Republic and even that has changed significantly as well, but her face just surprised me a little I guess. She sounds reprimanding, but there was a hint of sadness in her voice. It's like she's frustrated, but not really with whatever it is that Eden did or said. "She asked us, no, begged us never to talk about her with Day, remember?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry." Eden said, sounding frustrated. "It's just that… How long is this going to last, Tessie?"

I heard Tess sigh, well, a virtual version of it. "I know, Eden. It's as frustrating on this side too."

Eden let out his own sigh and said, "She's still with Anden, right?"

Anden? Isn't that the Elector? I heard Tess shift some sheets, and soon she says, "Yeah, but things aren't going too well. They just don't match, I know it. June has been telling me about how often she and Anden argue lately and it sounds like she's getting tired of it."

June. The name just rings a goddy loud bell in my head. June. I repeated it in my head, mouthed it… it's just…

"…. -bout how he's doing lately. Any chance he remembers?" I was so caught up with my thoughts after I heard that name and I missed part of what Tess just asked.

I watched Eden shrug, "Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. But lately, I know he knows more. He's stubborn like that." He then looked behind him, as if he suddenly felt like he's being watched. "Hold on Tessie." He said, before he got up and shut the door – even locking it. I moved out of the way of course, but now I can barely make out what they're saying. Damn it kid, why be like me at a time like this!?

A few months before my 27th birthday, Eden told me that we'd be visiting the Republic. He was invited for an interview regarding his latest work, and he specifically asked that I tagged along. A part of me wishes not to go, but a part of me was aching to do so. I just feel like there's this big need of me to go back there.

These past few months have been golden for us. Eden no longer needed to wear his glasses as often. Most of the time, he would wear them whenever he's studying or whenever we drive out during night-time, but overall his eyesight's almost back to normal. I thought there was no escaping him going blind, but I guess that's all in the past. His medications are completely on as-needed basis now – meaning the symptoms of the disease is long gone and that his body has recovered well. I'm put on a lifetime pill, but apart from that, there was nothing else for me to do but live my life. Easier said than done

Since my condition's been getting relatively optimal, the doctors, as per my pestering, have been helping me with therapy to recall more and more of my lost memories. They have explained long ago my condition, but it's just lately that they've been aggressive as I am into retrieving my lost pieces. I guess I can't really hold it against them – they were mainly looking after my well-being over the past few years and until my status is completely green, they didn't want to risk stressing my already churned-enough brain. But now my status is green. Very green. I need answers.

Extensive therapy has required me to temporarily quit the intelligence agency, but it was no big deal. Since then, I've been getting more and more names into my head that fit with the database information I've collected by myself over the years. Names like Baxter and Frankie made more sense, though Frankie's name shoots a pain down my neck like I've been shot for some reason.

I remember being in the desert, acting like an idiot drunk… We saw the Patriot's hideout. Right. The Patriots back then. I remember seeing a boy in a tube filled with some fluid – okay, I don't need to remind myself what that was.

I remember Razor, that god damned person. Much to my dismay, remembering him triggered some not-so-pleasant things. I've always been aware of that assassination to kill the new young Elector, Anden, and I know I helped him escape. It just can't think why. Not like there's any real reason to kill the guy, but there's no real reason either to save him. I risked my ass to save him. I still wonder why, how, or who made me do it. I just know it almost cost me everything after that failed assassination.

The memories were unpleasant for sure, but I immediately thought of a particular escape scene down the sewages and somehow my anger subsided.

Fever. I recall her having a fever. She was really ill and I remember being afraid of what might happen to her. It meant the world to me that she goes out of this alive. WHO THE HELL IS SHE!? Sometimes, when I dig deeper to get a better view of those scenes, I almost feel as if I'm there again. I can feel myself running for dear life, begging her to stay with me – to not succumb to the call of sleep.

Then I skip to the Colonies - the weird busy streets with chaotic advertisements flanking from every side. I saw articles that have photos of me running around the Colony. It seems I was with someone. The pictures were all taken in weird angles and distances the only thing I could make out was my blonde hair and the other person's dark hair. That must be her.

I wake up sometimes to dreams wherein I call out to her to keep her awake. I can't remember if they're real or my mind's making them up, but I would remember the feeling of the memory but not nearly the memory itself.

I managed to recall Kaede. I can only recall her at first as that girl I saw in the slumps, but as therapy goes on, I was able to link her more and more with that crazy jet escapade I've always had at the back of my mind. Kaede was with me in that crash. She died helping us. Us. I was with someone then.

I watched a footage of my own self, announcing my support for the Elector. A part of me honestly remembered getting up on that building, I might actually recall the words, but I feel so distant still that sometimes I question if that really was me.

It all sounds overwhelming now, but don't worry. It's not like all of these came surging back within months. I guess I've known the information all along throughout these years through my mischievous personal researching, but it's just now that I've weaved them altogether so they make sense.

But some still don't make sense.

I still don't know her.

Who is her?

I remember waking up one night, sweating. I fish for something in my sheets and found an odd emptiness knowing that I'm alone in my bed. I've always been sleeping by myself, haven't I? I sat up, took long deep breaths and glanced to that space next to me. I could swear I recall seeing someone lying there, her form ever so perfect, sheets draped over her. It was a night that made me feel hot - I know for sure. I've never felt such passion ever in my life. I woke up, dazed and confused. I was dreaming inside my dream. But I know all too well that the person next to me in that dream had the richest dark locks I've ever so adored.

A little after my 27th birthday, I found myself back in the Republic. I cannot tell you how relieved and appalled I am the moment we landed. A part of me relies on instinct – that many years in the slum sectors – and I found myself always on alert. But after seeing Eden so relaxed, I honestly felt disappointed. What was I expecting? It's been 10 years… the Republic that I used to fear and run away from is just another thing of the past now.

Tess and Eden were already on the phone talking a few minutes after we've settled on our old apartment. Lucy didn't come with us on this trip, but she reminded us to at least tidy the place a bit when we get there – so we did. We didn't have to do much per se – the place looks like it's been looked after even after we've left years ago.

"Tessie says let's meet up for dinner." Eden spoke, taking out some futons from his closet. "We don't have anything to eat."

"Yeah, yeah." I said, stopping at the kitchen. How come I recall collapsing here and hanging on for whatever's left of my sanity? What kept me going then?

"Daniel." Eden sounded like a muffle. "Hey, Daniel. Did you hear what I just said?"

Shoot. I have to stop blanking out or this idiot will start to worry unnecessarily. "Huh? Yeah. I'm listening."

Eden let out a grunt and went to his room. I was left in the living room, fiddling again with that paperclip on my finger, and paced around. How come I remember this place so well now? I remember living here after being granted pardon for saving the Elector's life… I remember being given the news… I'm dying. At least, I was.

I had to tell her somehow… I need to tell her to leave me alone. For her sake… I've got to push her away.

Already tapping on my temples, I shut my eyes. There are no more headaches, but the ache comes from my chest for some reason. It just feels tight, but my breathing's okay – everything's okay, but somehow it's not. Something's missing.

She's missing. Her. Whoever that person is, I have to find her.

It's a strange feeling, walking around these areas by the Lake Sector that used to be flooded with people from well… the slums. The new Elector must've done his work, seeing as there are not so much slum people nowadays. Apart from the lack of commotion that used to be there, there really isn't much difference from how it looked like years ago. Sure it's cleaner, but when I close my eyes, I still see the familiar buildings, landmarks, rabbit holes – all of those obstacles I've come to remember as if they're extensions of my own limbs. I absent-mindedly turned towards an alleyway at the end of an empty street. There's a building at the end – a 12-story one, no windows. I stare at its half-crumbling state, amazed that it looks like it has all its floors still even after all these years. I took a step towards it and felt something poking ever so slightly deep inside my chest. The poke was constant. Foreign. But it somehow made me feel anxious but not really in bad way. I can't tell how. Heck, there's a bunch of goddy things I can't explain.

"Daniel?" Eden's voice echoed through the other side of the alley. He's looking at his tablet. "Tess said to meet her up at the station."

"Right." I uttered. But really, I didn't want to leave the spot. A part of me wants to sit here and huddle. I was sitting with someone here, a long time ago. We kept each other warm and she would throw me glances I cannot read but I liked them. Who are you? The chest pain was growing steadier, aching. I wonder why, but it somehow made me feel as if there's this longing I've been holding myself from feeling for a long time.

There's always that blurry unknown in everything I remember. It's like I'm remembering the important things but I'm missing what's making those things important. I'm missing the only thing that made those memories worth keeping. I know it's that same person. That girl, that woman… she must be one gorgeous being now, yea? It's weird because I know her face, but really, I don't. It's like she's there, but I cannot tell if that's really her because… well… I don't know her. I can't…

But enough is enough.

I can't live like this.

I need to find her.

Eden and I walked a few minutes and we reached the station where we'll meet Tess. I waited as Eden made a call and he told me we should just walk around a bit more since Tess said she'll be a bit late. I didn't mind that. This whole walk has been achy for me, but I wouldn't have done anything else if I could help it. Somehow, this whole thing makes me feel closer to finding her. I know I'm close.

We passed by a couple of soldiers who gave us some looks – I know they recognize me – but they chose to just ignore us and I was happy they did. I wouldn't be caught dead out in the open like this had this been 10 years ago – but right, that was 10 years ago.

I made a mistake asking Eden if he's ready for his interview because he started rambling about his project and plans he has for future projects to come. He started drawing weird diagrams in the air – those ones I imagine him drawing in his notes, and kept pulling his sleeves up his elbows. He talked and talked about so many different technical stuff that I've reduced to catching just bits of what he says. Don't get me wrong, I love listening to my brother talking about his passion… it's just that, sometimes, I feel like I can't keep up. I pretended to look impatient, giving him a teasing grin as we kept walking, and tried to shoot random questions so he'll know I'm kind of listening.

As we kept walking and he kept talking, I shoved my hands inside my pockets and ran a hand through my short hair – the wind's started to blow just now.

Eden stopped in his tracks, and for a split second I was on my guard. Years and years of being careful with my surrounding can't be taken away from me that easy, but at least I didn't look like I was going to shoot someone. My brother looked at me, his face somehow beaming of excitement as if he's seen something he's been wanting to see, and looked back towards the other side of the street.

Immediately, time stopped the moment I looked at where my brother was staring at.

It was a young woman, possibly the same age as me, or at least close. Her hair was up in a familiar ponytail. I would comment on her clothes but I was stuck looking at her face… especially her eyes. They were dark but solemn. They were the most intense eyes I've seen in my life. And those are eyes I've seen many times, I just know that.

I watched as she froze on her stance a bit before she started walking towards our direction but not really towards us. She seems to be in a hurry.

I don't even know what Eden was doing – there's just nothing else for me to do but keep my eyes on the woman. I feel like if I look away, she would disappear and for some reason, I fear that like how I fear losing my brother.

She walked passed by us, not even giving us a single glance, and I turned around, my gaze still following her figure as she walks towards the station away from us.

I heard Eden take a deep breath and he probably said something, but I'm not sure what, and slowly we walked opposite of where the woman was heading. My eyes were still glued to her figure as the distance between us and the woman grew wider and wider.

I hear the echoes of her hurried steps and the ache in my chest goes along with them. I just know something's not right if I don't do anything right now. But what am I going to do?

I stare at her figure – the way she walks, the way her hair bounces a bit with her hurried steps…. And I recall those dark beautiful eyes and I know I can't forgive myself if I don't do something.

If I look away, if I let this go, she'll disappear forever.

It's been a while since I've actually ran, but I sprinted like it meant the world to me. The distance between me and the young woman wasn't that big but it felt too wide as I ran towards her.

I stopped, just about a feet away from her when she probably noticed me running towards her. She looked over her shoulder and I swear I could only thank the world that she looked back. I don't understand how I'd risked not seeing that face – those eyes one more time. I wanted to keep her face in my head. I have no idea why, I may seem like a creep right now, but I stared at her, and I could feel the ache in my chest pricking me harder than before.

A few seconds passed and I could feel the questions surging in my head. Are you her? Why do I feel like I know you but I can't? I may have looked confused and I saw it reflected on her eyes. She does however look like she knows what I'm thinking. I'm not sure why I said that, I just know.

My mouth felt dry from my sudden run, and my chest felt like I'm losing air, but I fought through it and said, "Excuse me." I needed to say something.

The moment the words left my mouth, I saw a slight change in her eyes – just every so subtly. She stares into my eyes and I feel like she's fishing into my soul and I don't mind it. I want her to, for some reason. "Have we met before?" the words left my mouth without me ever thinking about them.

I watched as another subtle change wash over her face. She fought of a blink, I can tell, and soon she answered, "No" in a whisper. "Sorry." She immediately added, and I took the time to process the tone of her voice. It was hushed, reserved, but my chest pricks me as I replay her tone in my head and I'm suddenly at a loss for words.

Through the reflection of her dark eyes, I saw my own confused face. I run a hand through my head and I could feel some strands of my hair getting caught in my paper clip ring. I took note of how she stole a glance at my hand and heard a gasp escape from her lips before looking back at me. What is it? I wanted to ask, but she suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable, no, sad, rather, that I felt horrible all of a sudden. I must be making her feel weird. "Oh," I let out a small breath. What the hell am I doing to this poor person? "I'm sorry to bother you then. I just…" She stared at me, her eyes suddenly so sad I want to ask her if there's anything I could do. How could someone so beautiful look so sad? It doesn't make sense.

A flash of memories passed by me like waves hitting the shore… the image of that girl standing in line to welcome the Elector on that mini-JumboTron, the silhouette of that ponytail I've run after, the feverish blurry face of someone I've begged to stay awake, the same face that I woke up to a million times I think…. I can't let this go.

"You look really familiar." I finally said, her face a mixture of shock and confusion, but I did not dare to stop asking. This is my chance. "Are you sure we don't know each other from somewhere?" My life depends on this somehow. My chest was aching, but I hang onto a thin hope that she'll say something… anything other than her not knowing me.

I watched as she searched my face, her eyes so focused yet she gives me such a soft look I fought the urge to touch her face. I know her face… those eyes, that nose, those cheeks… her lips. The mere thought of having to see her face every day sends me looking forward to life. I know her. I can't let this go.

No words came out of her, but I know all too well she doesn't need to say anything. I'm not letting this chance go. I've waited too goddy long for her. I felt my own gaze soften, as I fought another urge to enclose her beautiful face in my hands. "I have known you." It came out as a whisper from me. I feel like all of my strength has left me as I succumb to her stare. "A long time ago." I felt myself holding my breath, "I don't know where, but I think I know why." I watched as her gaze softened even more. I feel like I'm basking I the warm of a single candle light in a dark cold night.

"Why, then?" She asked. Her voice was so gentle – it's like she's cradling me, or touching my face softly but she's not. I thought of what she said, and for a moment I was silent again. Why, then? It's like that ongoing thoughts in my head over the years. The blurry images of that her that I've been thinking of. Somehow, she holds the missing page in my book and I know it. She could tell me why there are fragments missing in my life. I felt silly. How do I tell someone that she's possibly that missing piece I've been looking for when we've only met today? Whatever, damn it. I'll give it a shot. I'll give it a damn shot and I pray to whatever gods out there that she won't think I'm a lunatic.

I took a step closer, surprising even myself at the courage I have to do that. It made me feel so at ease – being so close to her. It felt familiar, this small space between us. I laughed a little, feeling foolish but I went on and said, "I'm sorry. This is going to sound so strange." Her eyes were unwavering, wondering… she's waiting for what I have to say and there are a billion things I feel like I want to say. I continued, "I feel like I'm lost in a haze. Like this is a dream I don't dare wake from. I…." the recollection of those incomplete memories in my head flash by me so constantly, but looking at her face kept me from getting lost. I stared at her, searching for the right words to explain myself, but I ended up saying whatever first comes to mind. "I've been searching a long time for something I think I lost."

I watched her eyes as flickers of emotions dance through them like fireflies. I have no idea why that's what it looked like, but I don't care. Somehow, relief washed over me as I read recognition from her face. She knows what I mean. I can tell she understood me.

And like an answered prayer, she said, "It's not strange at all." A smile escaped my lips – one I've never had in a long time. I felt like the prick in my heart was suddenly gone and the weight on my shoulders I didn't realize I was carrying was lifted off of me. She knows. Somehow, in her eyes, on the delicate features of her face, I can tell she knows that she's the one I've been looking for.

"I felt like I found something when I saw you back there." A different emotion flashed through her eyes as I said this – it's something we've shared. I just know it. I felt the need to reconfirm my thoughts, to know that I am not dreaming and that by a long shot, she will be back in my memories… back in my life. "Are you sure…" uncertainty subtly crept on me but I went on, "Do you know me? Do I know you?"

I felt a space blew up in my heart when she said nothing, and her words after, "I have to go meet up with some friends," they shocked me, but I played as if I was unsure of what I was saying.

"Oh. Sorry." I let out, holding my breath. So, does this mean she doesn't want to say anything further? I suddenly remembered Eden standing a few feet away but I didn't look towards him – I just can't afford to look away from this person. "I do too, actually. An old friend down in Ruby." I said this, suddenly reminded of our dinner with Tess. Why did I suddenly think of this? My thoughts started running like a crazy machine the moment I noticed her eyes widen at my statement.

"Is your friend's name Tess?" she sounded hesitant but her question caught me off-guard, and I must've look goddy surprised. She knows Tess? The same Tess I know. Well damn, goddy…

"You know her." I said this as a statement and I can see a flash of hesitation, happiness, and all sorts of things on her face. She's holding back for some reason, and I can tell it's causing her pain… I just know it. Her eyes are calculating suddenly, wary, but there escapes a look of longing, a look of hope. I feel like I'm reading her thoughts as if it's second nature to me. She is the one I am looking for. She holds a part of my life I've lost all this time and she can give it back to me but a part of her stops her from doing so. She must have some reason for enduring all this pain, and as frustrating as it is, I don't want to force her back into my life if she's not yet ready. But you can be sure I'm not letting her go. I need to let her know at least that in some strange way, I understand.

I must be having a serious look on my face, we both do, and we stand there in silence. A silent recognition, some sort of agreement. I finally let out the words, "I do remember." It felt so light, so easy in my lips and I've never felt so happy about saying such words out loud. I watched as she stared into my eyes and for a moment, I just let her take in all the longing, the warmth, the aching I feel to hold her onto me, to embrace her back into my life. Whatever it is that's holding her back, I want her to know that she should no longer imprison herself with them. I want her to release the guilt, the sadness… for whatever reason she begs for my forgiveness, she has to stop and let go. I have long forgotten and closed the bad things in my life, and I want her to realize that they're no more than mere wounds – wounds that made me stronger and helped me be ready to face her and possibly a life with her in it.

I want to replace the blurry images, the empty pages… I want her back.

I want you to understand that I'm right here. There's nothing else that would make my life right now but you. I hope she could hear my silent thoughts. The only thing I could let out was a gentle line. "It's you."

"Is it?" There was a hint of playfulness in her whisper, or perhaps she's trembling?

The distance between us is so familiar. "I hope." I said, wanting to move closer but I held myself back. "I hope to get to know you again. If you are open to it." I studied her eyes. I would do anything to know what she's thinking of right now because I want her to give us this chance. "There is a fog around you that I would like to clear." I told her, as if reaching out to the depths of her conscience for that same longing I know she feels from me.

I can feel fear and happiness from her. If I let this go, I'm going to watch her disappear. I can't have that. I'm not taking any chances. There's no way I'm letting this go. I reached for her hands, and the sudden touch of her skin with mine send sensations straight to my chest. It's so familiar, so comforting, just having her hand in mine. I just know this isn't the first time I've held her hand, and there's no way I'm going to let this be the last. I'm going to reach out to her. I'm going to have her back in my life.

"Hi, I'm Daniel." I said, discreetly changing my hold into a handshake. Might as well start out simple. I confess that I do not want to let go of her hand.

"Hi, I'm June." She said, a smile escaping from her lips so contagious I smiled too.

Yes. That's sounds just right. Daniel and June.

We'll be taking this step forward together.

xXxXx

A/N thank you so much again for reading, and I will really appreciate any reviews so if you liked it or whatever, let me know your thoughts. Also, congratulations on going through my long *whacked* writing. haha! thanks guys! have a good day! June/Day always. 3