"He loves you! Julian loves you! Why can't you see it?"

"What?"

The sharp flare of Derek's anger dies down as he realises what he has just said.

"I'm sorry. I … didn't mean to tell you"

"Where is he Derek?"

Derek turns his back on Logan and gazes into the fireplace.

"Where is he?"

"Down by the lake I think. But please don't go to him. You need to think things through."

The door slams. Derek spins around to find the room empty. He sinks into an armchair and rests his head in his hands, realizing that his might have just shattered their lives into a thousand shards.

The rain hammers the concrete, a tribal drumbeat keeping perfect time with Logan's brisk footfall. He thinks three things on his way to the lake.

His first thought was: 'Julian? He constantly mocks me, only bearing my presence for short periods before running off to some other corner of the world where life is sweeter. How can he love me?'

His next thought was: 'No. He doesn't mock me. We mock each other constantly. Our relationship is a heated battle of wits, and no one ever wins. That is how we work'

His final thought as he sights the small boathouse beside the lake feels more like pulling the cover off an intrinsic feeling he is now sure he has known all along. His final thought is that he loves Julian, loves him because they are alike in their selfishness and anger, loves him in spite of himself, and the rest of his world crumbling away from him.

With this last thought, he breaks into a run, and the sky grows darker with rolling clouds.

Julian looks out over the lake, watching the raindrops tear bullet holes into the surface. He doesn't know why he is still here, in grey Westerville, watching the flint coloured sky when one phone call would take him back to his glowing other life. He doesn't know any more.

Thundering footsteps announce another's arrival. He turns, and sees Logan. He is about to make a scathing comment when he sees Logan.

Rivulets of water run through his blond hair, and his clothes are soaked. He looks like he's been running, and his fists are clenched at his sides. But it's his expression that makes Julian stop.

There is a glowing behind his eyes, a strange light within them that Julian can't identify. His face is coloured with an intensity that makes Julian scramble to his feet.

"…Logan?"

"Jules" Logan pants.

"What are you doing here"

"Derek. Derek and me had a fight, and he said, he said, you"

Julian realizes then, realizes that his carefully guarded secret is now lodged jewel bright in Logan's eyes. He briefly considers pretending not to understand, but he knows that's futile, because he and Logan both know he knows. They are one mind.

Julian turns his head away, across the lake. Trees fringe the water, forming a bright halo against dusky skies. He knows that now would be the time to run, but his feet stubbornly refuse to move. Run. Away from the storm and the pain.

Anger flares in Logan, hot and sharp.

"You've been lying to me Jules" A statement, not a question.

"Has anything been real? After all this time? Who are you?"

"I'm Julian, Lo. I'm Jules" whispers Julian, looking absolutely broken.

"I doubt it. Maybe you are, away from here. Away from me. But tell me, Jules, when is it going to happen? When are you going to give me something real?" taunts Logan, his face twisting with cruelty.

"When have you ever given me anything of yourself Lo? Real friends share things. What is this? Only a web of lies"

"Of your construction! Always dancing away before I get too close! Never letting me see you because in reality, you are just a scared little boy"

"I'm Jules! I'M JULES!" Julian screams at the fractured sky, rain pounding onto his face. "I'M JULES! THIS IS ME LO!"

Logan knows then that this is the first and last time they will be stripped to their souls, and the rest of the world washed away. He knows that he is seeing Julian for the first time. But that still doesn't fully explain why he does what he does next. Indeed, in later years, Logan has never found an answer himself. He knows it has a lot to do with the fresh surge of hate and love as he watches Julian bare his soul to the storm wrecked sky.

He grabs Julian and pushes them both into the lake.

Julian feels the icy water close over his head and experiences a strange sense of calm. It is really quite perfect down here in the deep, far away from the scalding pain of the world above. Yes. He thinks he will stay here. He can already feel his thoughts becoming numb and heavy, and it is a welcome change. He shall stay here…

Strong arms yank his shoulders hard, and he is rudely drawn out of the water. Taking desperate gasps of air, he whips around to meet Logan's eyes.

" Why did you do that?" I wanted to stay there Lo, it was better! It was far away from you, and all pain!"

"I couldn't leave you Jules. I couldn't leave you there" Logan sounds like he's crying. Why is he crying for Julian?

Julian threads his fingers into Lo's hair and looks anguished.

"What do you want Lo? What do you want from me?"

Logan whispers "Something real"

Julian surges forewords and kisses him.

The storm shrieks and thunders across the fractured sky.


So... first attempt at writing a fanfic :) I'd really appreciate any feedback :)