A/N: I came up with this idea a while ago, and I thought it would be fun to write. This is Edward's thoughts on his romance with Bella, before BD, to go with the lyrics of Decembers, by Hawthorne Heights. Sorry if some of it doesn't match too well . The lyrics are in bold.
Let's try to remember these days back in December.
Our lives were very different, I was lonely when we first met.
A small upstairs apartment, driving through the darkness
To get back home before they knew you were even gone.
I've had no one for the last hundred and odd years. No one... like you. The rest of the family... were family. But none of them mean what you mean to me.
But now... this has all changed for the better. Despite the lies, and the sneakiness to keep you relationship with Charlie intact, everything is still better.
You don't have to speak because I can hear your heartbeat.
Fluttering like butterflies searching for a DRINK.
You don't have to cover up how you feel when you're in love.
I always know I'm not enough to even make you think.
I can hear you. How you're different around me... if I was human, I'd be the same. I don't have to hear what you're saying to know what you're feeling. And I know that feeling.
I know that you're in love, and I love you, Bella. But love makes us do crazy things... love... brings you danger. I'm sorry, Bella, for this, but love... love changes it all.
Please slow down girl.
We're moving way too fast for their world.
We've gotta make this last.
Bella, I know what you want, but we can't do any of this yet.
I can't turn you into a vampire yet, you'll miss out on everything. You'll loose your human life.
And we can't get married yet, at this age, but if you really want to be with me... we have to do that first. We can't rush into changing things forever, Bella.
I miss you so much, a self inflicted coma
The days drag on like marathons,
I'm running with barefeet.
And when I feel the stress, I'm lonely and depressed
I picture you in the dress
You wore four weeks ago.
When I'm away from you... I know that it hurts us both. I'm sorry Bella, but this is the way it has to be. We've let ourselves into it, so we have ourselves to blame. I've brought myself more pain than I thought possible. But just thinking of you... then it's not as bad.
You don't have to speak because I can hear your heartbeat.
Fluttering like butterflies searching for a DRINK.
You don't have to cover up how you feel when you're in love.
I always know I'm not enough to even make you think.
I can hear you. How you're different around me... if I was human, I'd be the same. I don't have to hear what you're saying to know what you're feeling. And I know that feeling.
I know that you're in love, and I love you, Bella. But love makes us do crazy things... love... brings you danger. I'm sorry, Bella, for this, but love... love changes it all.
Please slow down girl.
We're moving way too fast for their world.
We've gotta make this last.
I know it hurts to feel so all alone.
I'm by myself, more than you could know.
We can't do the things you want to do yet, Bella. We have to wait, we can't rush this... we have to make things look right, at least. We can't do everything yet... why can't you let yourself feel the human things that you need to, before they're all gone? Live normally, please. Just let your life be lived some more...
It's our fault from bringing our pain... but if it has to be like this so that we can safely be together, so be it. I'm sorry, but I can't let you go. We'll just have to deal... 100 years alone is more than I can take. I need you, Bella.
If only they were all alone.
They were all alone.
Please slow down girl.
We're moving way too fast for their world.
We've gotta make this last.
Please, Bella... we have to make it seem better than it is, for everyone you know. For your family... please, Bella.
Slow down girl.
We're moving way too fast for their world.
We've gotta make this last.
I know it hurts to feel so all alone.
I'm by myself, more than you could know.
After 100 years...
This already? Bella, we can't have everything at once, no matter how much we want it... I gone on for too long missing out, but Bella, we can't spoil this for you... please don't make me...
If only they were all alone.
They were all alone.
They were all alone.
They were all alone.
A/N: Well, there you go. I know that it seems a little random, but the idea that I had was random. These are his thoughts according to me, and I'd like to see what you think of this :) If you tell me some songs to go with more of the Twicouples and situations, I might try to do some more.
