A/N: Happy (very) belated birthday present for ghikiJ-san 83

This is my first Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica story. It's inspired by Drama CD3, Farewell Story, which is really evil considering the previous Drama CD is Sunny Day Life.

I suppose this oneshot is more about the characters and their bonds, as well as my attempts to portray them, rather than having a real plot. The timeline is set in the universe where witches still existed (aka, the 'old world'). The exact time should be apparent as the story goes. I'm not exactly sure which genres to put either...

Hopefully, people would enjoy it :3;;;

Disclaimer: I don't own MSMM, but I'd like to have Homura's shield.

Special thanks to Athyra-senpai for her rushed beta


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Ribbons

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"How dare you."

Growling in frustration, a lithe silhouette leaped from the roof into the darkness of the alley below. Burning rays from the dying sunset casted an eerie glow upon the scarlet figure and brought out the scorching flare in those crimson eyes. A deadly spear was twirled with practiced ease and brewing impatience, its sharp edges glinting ominously under the veils of the shadow.

Both the weapon and the wielder screamed and thirsted for blood.

Disturbing giggles echoed in the empty lane, seemingly unaware of the murderous intent engulfing the very air itself. Dark mists began to drift and obscure any source of light as a grotesque shape morphed out of the wall and rolled its one bright eye at its approaching adversary. With a high-pitched screech, the spectre blurred into many duplicates and surrounded the hunter like a pack of hungry predators.

A dark smirk formed on the spear user's visage.

The weapon suddenly split into many sections held together by golden chains, coiling around the red-haired girl like a fearless snake ready to strike. Those unearthly creatures were momentarily unnerved before they all converged around her, heedless of the protective barrier formed by the spear.

Instantly, the blade shot through one of the hazy forms and trapped it to the wall with a resounding crash.

A terrible shriek sliced through the air.

Then deafening silence rang in the alley as the fog disappeared along with the other duplicate forms.

"How dare you used mind tricks and illusions on me."

Sakura Kyouko glared coldly at the greyish creature pinned to the cracked bricks, her crimson eyes burning with swirls of emotions even as it twisted pitifully and cried out in pain. The girl's blood-colored hair and outfit, illuminated by the candescent light from the sputtering street lamps, seemed to brand her as the grim reaper of the paranormal.

Smirking, Kyouko languidly curled her fingers around the handle of the spear and chuckled at the sight of the creature's renewed struggle.

"You made me chase you all the way from Kasamino to Mitakihara, even though you're just a pathetic minion. Normally, I wouldn't give a damn," her toothy grin widened wolfishly, "but you really pissed me off using those techniques."

She narrowed her eyes when, abruptly, a buried memory jabbed at her mind and forced a particular exchange to resurface –

"An illusionary magic, how interesting."

"Huh?"

"You hide yourself amongst numerous fake images from your opponent. However, it seems that you weren't expecting your enemy to have the same power."

Her grip tightened in a surge of fury. "I'm not weak anymore!"

She yanked the spear free and viciously impaled the minion. As the spectre faded away into nothingness, both savage pleasure and nausea crept up her body like an unspeakable taint. Fleeting triumph and perpetual hollowness were the marks of a mahou shoujo, who transcended from a human being to something entirely different.

This was who Sakura Kyouko was, the ruthless witch-hunter who lived by her own rules and not for anyone else. The clash between whispered ideals of the past and cruel practicality of the present was merely a stigma she must carry as a fallen one.

Condemned in this purgatory of mindless slaughtering, she relied on the grief seeds to offer her temporary salvation to her corrupted soul.

"See? I don't need your help anymore. I was so naive and stupid back then. Tch, it's so sad, really," she rested the weapon against her shoulder and spoke to the empty alleyway with no audience to hear her disguised lament. Irritated by the silence, she struck the cement ground yet the resulting clang echoing in the narrow passageway only awakened a bout of loneliness and melancholy in her turbulent mind.

People refused to listen to her father because their narrow minds too stubborn to accept the new ideas he put forth. The priest was not wrong; he merely thought differently than the norm yet that was what condemned him and his family.

And so Kyouko made a very simple wish, holding onto the belief that she was helping her father. He gained many faithful followers while she fought monsters in the shadows like a heroine of whom she was delighted to become. How could the ignorant little girl have known that her father would shatter after finding out the truth behind the miracle? During that terrible confrontation, he accused her of being an evil witch, putting her on the same pedestal as the very monsters she had to eradicate in those dreadful battles.

Then, on that fateful day, she was greeted not by warmth but cold silence when she stepped into the home she thought she knew. Before she could make sense of her growing trepidation, she heard the haunting creak of her father hanging himself, echoing like the drop of a guillotine in the empty house. The next few moments were vague in her memories, possibly a subconscious defense against this horrifying reality, yet she could still remember the residue warmth of her mother and her little sister's torn bodies on her shaking hands. Their blood was everywhere, so fresh and pungent that its scent and taste never left her nostrils and her tongue.

"Kaa-san! Momo! Why…why did this happen? It's my wish…my wish killed you all!"

Scowling, Kyouko took out an apple and angrily bit into it, desperately trying to clear the tang and the phantom hunger in her belly. Eating truly defined her, whether it was an instinctual response to any agitation, or the natural right granted to the top of the food chain. She devoured, again and again, food and witches, anything to help her anchor her existence in this realm.

After several ravenous bites, the red-haired girl briefly stared at the apple core before tossing it behind her. Though placated, she did not feel the satisfaction an ordinary human would from consuming food.

She was like the walking dead, was she not? Every day drifted by in a dull haze as she searched and fought witches for the sake of keeping her soul gem bright, ironic considering that her soul was already darkened beyond salvation. Stripped of dignity, robbed of dreams and barred from warmth, she understood perfectly well that innocence was a virtue she will never regain. Despair may not have completely claimed her, but hope no longer smiled upon her as well.

She held up the vermillion ornament and scrutinized at the black fog coagulating near the bottom. Cursing, she decided that by reminiscing about her past, she inadvertently tarnished the jewel.

Suddenly, the distressed cries of a child reached her ears.

"Perfect," Kyouko lazily licked her fang and daftly used her spear to hoist herself up and out of the alleyway.

Judging from the aura detected by her soul gem, it was another minion that seemed to have caught an unwitting kid. Scoffing, the red-haired girl hastened her pace, jumping from one roof to another. The familiar might transform into a witch, or lead her back to its master. Either way, she could not afford to be late, not with the incentive of obtaining a grief seed.

She must get there before the local mahou shoujo showed up.

"Both witches and familiar prey on humans!"

"So what? It's not as if we can save everyone."

Growling under her breath, Kyouko vehemently shook her head and forced herself to focus on the task at hand. A vicious smirk appeared on her face when she sensed the minion's movement just up ahead, within her attack range. Now that the target's location was confirmed, she just needed to secure the perimeters.

Then she saw the victim trapped under the creature's spell.

Before she knew it, she was charging towards the little girl and thus revealed her presence to the minion. Effortlessly, Kyouko slashed it with a simple yet powerful flick of her wrist, and tugged the unconscious child away to safety. Before the creature could recover from the blow, the spear mercilessly stabbed through its head and ended its miserable existence. Immediately, the red-haired girl returned to the kid's side to ensure that she was still breathing.

It was only when she began to stir and wake that Kyouko realized what just transpired. Furious at herself, she quickly left the scene in attempts to pretend nothing happened, yet she could not stop those prickling memories in time.

After all, the little child was around Momo's age and most importantly, the shade of her blonde tresses were so achingly similar to a certain senpai's hair.

"Next time, I won't be satisfied with just the ribbon. Unlike you, I can and will cross that line."

"…"

"Thanks for everything. I'm going back to Kasamino."

"…why?"

"I already told you, I have no intention of using my magic for anyone's sake but my own."

Restless, Kyouko dispelled her costume and took out a pack of pockies. With one hand stuffed in the pocket of her hoodie, she munched on a few sticks like she was consuming the images of that particular confrontation so they would never reappear ever again. The sweetness of the snack gradually overcame the bitter flavor of broken partnership that was caused by her own hand.

The red-haired girl chuckled derisively. Where was that protector of mankind? Why didn't she come and save the kid?

Sighing, Kyouko carelessly brushed through her long ponytail and decided she wasted enough time today, playing heroine and reminiscing buried thoughts. Now walking in a leisurely pace, she took in the surroundings of Mitakihara and frowned at the nostalgia prodding in her chest. Unwanted images began to take form in her mind, festering and forcing guilt on her conscience as she turned corners on the cobblestone street, stepped under the innovative streetlamps and passed by the beautiful water fountain in the plaza. Despite the fact that a year had already gone by since she set foot in this place, everything still felt so familiar to her.

After all, she used to explore the city with her teacher to detect witches and their minions.

"Witches prefer the places where the darkest emotions of humanity would most likely flourish. At times, I can't help but think that the gathering of people and their interactions nurture darkness the best."

"So those are the places you prioritize your search then."

"Yes."

Kyouko groaned restively when she found herself standing in front of the hospital. She really should leave before her damn sentimentality caused her to make more foolish action. However, she also felt stupid going back to Kasamino empty-handed.

The red-haired girl stared at the faint flashes of her soul gem, signifying that a new witch was being born. Crimson orbs quickly glanced at the area and confirmed that the perimeter was already enveloped in its barrier, ready to consume the vulnerable patients in the building.

Shrugging, she changed into her magical outfit and effortlessly entered the witch's lair with a slice from her spear. Now that she was here anyways, she might as well reap the grief seed even though there was the risk of running into her former comrade.

After walking down the dimly lit passages for a while, she admitted that this witch was quite the character alright. The air was filled with sweet aroma from large lollipops and cakes that stacked up on the roads, as well as the glittering candies that decorated the ceilings like stars.

The red-haired girl licked her lips uncomfortably. Maybe she could pluck one toffee off the wall, unless this was like a dragon's hoard and she would get attacked immediately for theft. Pondering still, she crawled through a biscuit tunnel and pushed aside an enormous cracker to reach the central path leading to the witch's room.

What she did not expect though, was the sight of a black-haired girl entangled in red threads and rendered immobile by a huge golden lock.

Kyouko blinked slowly while the stranger just stared back with a blank expression.

She twitched.

Dignified lavender eyes continued to stare.

She burst into laughter, the witch's detection be damned.

"Sakura Kyouko."

"Hehehah- huh? Do I know you?"

Frowning, she squinted at the bemused girl trapped within the ribbons, unable to recall anything familiar about the stranger. The velvety gleam from the fabric, however, seemed to be calling out to her. Crimson eyes widened when she connected the indistinct hum of its magic and its fragile appearance to another ribbon, a yellow one that she shredded herself.

"I said, let go!"

"I won't let you go. There's no way I can leave you alone when you're like this."

"If that's the case…then I'll strike you down."

Wincing, Kyouko finally understood how callous her action was back then. She could still feel the silkiness of the ribbon wrapped around her wrist, gently but firmly tugging her backwards while a soft voice patiently tried to coax some sense into her. The red-haired girl felt slight remorse at her attitude, yet she did not regret her response at all. She could not agree with her senpai's way of doing things, especially not that compassionate perspective.

She severed that thread a year ago, or so she thought. She was certain that if her senpai perished somewhere on the battlefield, she might even feel indifferent about it. Death was everywhere, for that was the life of a mahou shoujo.

But chance brought Kyouko here. The comedic yet symbolic image of the black-haired girl struck a chord in her mind, clearing her conflicting thoughts and enabling her to reach a definite conclusion.

Breathing deeply, the spear-wielder extended her senses and detected two civilian girls within this barrier, just as she suspected. Indeed, she will not fight for other people again, not even to save a former friend.

However, Kyouko will not let two unrelated people be the cause of Tomoe Mami's downfall. Sacrificing herself for ignorant innocents was too similar to her own wish and she'll be damned if the blonde committed the same mistake too. As hypocritical as it was, she distanced herself because she could not stand the thought of hurting Mami, even though the very act of leaving must have wounded the blonde.

Could the torn ribbons be sewn together again?

Grinning, the red-haired girl twirled her spear and felt the battle thrill coursing through her veins. The disturbances in the flow of magic told her that the fight had already started, urging her to sprint down the path and ignore the black-haired girl's hiss of displeasure.

"Ah, gomen~" Kyouko merely shouted, not even looking back as she waved her hand nonchalantly. "I can't cut it again."

She meant it.

"It's better than becoming your enemy."

"I could never become your enemy!"

She just hoped she wasn't too late.


I'm not scared anymore.

Twin cannons blasted through small creatures twitching and crowding in front of the gunner, effortlessly clearing a path for her and her companion. Golden eyes briefly met pink ones before returning to the foes before her. Emboldened by the admiring gaze of her kouhai, Tomoe Mami charged into enemy territory with summoned muskets trailing above her shoulders.

I'm not alone.

In a fluid, graceful spin, the blonde fired at the minions with deadly accuracy and followed up by striking them using the blunt sides of the used weapons without wasting any moment.

Twirling and flipping elegantly, she landed on top of a giant syringe and looked down upon the sea of creatures swarming in attempts to overwhelm her. Instead of frowning uneasily, her lips curved into a confident smile as she conjured up rows of muskets akin to a one-person army.

Mami could not wait to celebrate the creation of a new mahou shoujo combo with this endearing kouhai, Kaname Madoka. How could the blonde feel fear when there was such a bright future ahead of her? Just recalling the pinkhead's words of support brought a bout of tears in her eyes, but she quickly suppressed her turbulent emotions and leaped down from the needle with a battle yell.

Deafening bangs exploded around her as the bullets picked off the minions one by one with absolute precision, yet everything was muffled to her as if to allow complete concentration. Her body moved instinctively, ingrained by years of practice and experience.

However, the perfect flow of her movements seemed to be obstructed by unnecessary halts, like she was expecting a follow-up attack from a missing partner. No matter how much she tried to smooth her assault patterns, images of a crimson spear and a toothy grin refused to subside and continued to interrupt her actions.

"Mami-san?"

"Let's go, Kaname-san."

After giving the younger girl a reassuring smile, the blonde led her through the momentarily unbarred path towards the chocolate door at the end. The warmth from their connected hands gave Mami an extra bounce in her steps and began to fill the cold hole in her chest.

She was so terribly lonely this year. She had always been alone yet between perpetual hunts and endless fights, she was able to maintain a mere blank state. The loneliness did not affect her as much, allowing her to go through every passing day in a comfortable, fixed routine.

However, after her first student or, rather, her one and only friend, chose to leave due to their conflicting views, an infesting void remained and prevented her from returning to her former way of living.

Mami dared to glance over her shoulder, hoping that the exuberant gaze from the pinkhead would calm her. Yet instead, all she saw was the face of another girl superimposing Kanam-san's visage, those familiar crimson eyes blazing in excitement.

"I was wondering if I could become Mami-san's student."

"Student?"

"I was thinking about it as I was listening to you and eating the cake, that to become a great mahou shoujo, I should study all I can under Mami-san. Analyzing our battles with witches, gathering and comparing our notes, researching magic use together. No matter how I look at it, Mami-san is the ideal magical girl I've dreamed to be!"

"Thank you. It's not the same as a 'student' but I… I wanted to have a mahou shoujo friend too."

A small, forlorn smile marred the blonde's optimistic expression before she could stop it, but fortunately she was able to turn around in time before Kaname-san notice anything. Mami was quite surprised at her easy and somewhat desperate acceptance of this kouhai as a potential friend even after everything that happened. Then again, there was hope for the pinkhead to stay on the correct path, unlike the mahou shoujo they encountered after entering the witch's labyrinth.

Akemi Homura's cold demeanor certainly made the blonde wary, but it was the way those lavender eyes stared at the witches, minions and herself that made her distrustful of the black-haired girl. It was not exactly condescending yet it made Mami feel inadequate for some reason, like she was silly to pretend that these battles were like the fantasized adventures children had.

It was all too similar to a certain red-haired girl's attitude on the matter.

Therefore, unable to confront the memories of her failure anymore, Mami decided to treat Akemi-san as an enemy by constraining her in those ribbons, and hoped she would not intervene and twist innocent Kaname-san's views.

"Stand back," the blonde whispered a warning to her companion as she conjured up an immense pistol to aim at the collage of minions suddenly springing up in front of the chocolate door.

"Tiro Finale!" The powerful blast completely obliterated the creatures of darkness and allowed the two girls to advance towards entrance, the glitters floating about like a beacon escorting them towards light.

"M-Mami-san, your finishing attack is so cool! Did you name it yourself?" In spite of her shy personality, the pinkhead could not contain her excitement and curiosity any longer.

Though taken aback by her enthusiasm, the older girl was quite pleased at the mention as well. She always thought her habit of naming attacks were childish, because the last time she gave a helpful advice to a certain kouhai didn't turn out so well.

Mami could still hear the lilt in that laughter, so lively and free of burden.

"To think you would criticize your sempai's ways like that."

"Ah, no! That's not what I meant!"

"Too late, I'm mad now. If that's how you feel about it, I've got an idea to fix that. As punishment, in your next fight, you must shout out the name of your special attack."

"WHAT! Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Give me a break!"

"I won't forgive you. Understand? You have to shout out the name of your special attack move in our next battle, hmm?"

In the end, 'Rosso Fantasma' was only ever yelled out once by its user before the girl collapsed in a fit of mirth.

Giggling quietly at the fond memory, Mami waited for the bittersweet melancholy to pass by before replying to her companion. "Yes, I did name it, Kaname-san. We can come up with one for your special attack as well, after you become mahou shoujo."

"That sounds great!" the younger girl blushed cutely, "I can't wait for it."

The pinkhead's innocent optimism really was something to behold. The blonde was sure her soul must glow brilliantly if it were to take on a physical form. With Kaname-san's unconditional support, Mami felt she could accomplish anything

"Mami-san, Madoka, over here!"

Miki Sayaka waved her hand energetically while Kyuubey remained perched on the blunette's shoulder, its tail flicking in greeting. Seeing another kouhai's relieved and admiring smile boosted the blonde's confidence even more so.

Miki-san and Kaname-san were very close, as if they were sisters with the way they bantered and joked around. As the only child, Mami had no idea how it felt like to have a sibling but she certainly witnessed it more than enough from her former partner's family.

She remembered how cute the little girl Momo was as she nibbled on the fried shrimp. The Sakuras' tight bond was obvious with the way they interacted with one another, down to the smallest of gestures. Therefore, it was impossible to predict a tragedy of that magnitude would strike the warm household.

Mami could still hear the Father's words, so very vividly, before he went insane and killed his family along with her friend's heart. It was a request she completely and utterly failed.

"Mami-san, please get along with Kyouko from now on too."

"Yes, of course."

No, she refused to fail anyone ever again.

"It seems like the witch is about to be born," she whispered gravely, earning fearful glances from the two younger girls. The gunner stood up in solemn resolution. She will protect her kouhais and their precious bond with everything she had.

As soon as a pink shape popped out from a box, the blonde leaped forward and knocked the mouse-like creature off its stool. It appeared to be disorientated and confused about its powers since it did not fight back at all as she fired rounds after rounds at the small form. Even as she shot through its temple and lifted it into the air with her ribbons, the witch remained limp in its confines.

It must be because of the strength Kaname-san and Miki-san give me. Mami allowed a victorious smile to grace her features as she slowly relaxed. It was just like those fictional tales where the protagonist was able to overcome difficult odds due to the power of friendship. She loved the idea and was elated that, from now on, she would be able to fight the creatures of darkness with a light heart. No more aches from loneliness, just laughter in the company of her kouhais.

Suddenly, an immense black worm burst out of the mouth of the witch and its maniac grin was right in front of her in a blink of an eye.

She was paralyzed with shock as horror crept up her spine and swallowed the euphoria that embraced her only a moment prior. All she could do was stare dumbly at the monster's gaping jaws, its gleaming fangs and its crazed eyes hungry for her blood.

This was the end, her fate. All these years of fighting by her lonesome were over indeed. It was a cruel jest and punishment for the selfish wish she made long ago to preserve her life.

She was truly destined to die alone like she should have, back then, in the car crash.

"Goodbye, Tomoe Mami…"

"I'm… all alone again…"

"No…" One last breath of denial was all she could muster as darkness obscured her vision. Agony seared her senses when fangs grazed against her neck and splattered hot blood over her clothes.

A rush of wind brushed by her hair as the shredded ribbon on her collars fluttered to the ground, stained in vermillion.

Time seemed to slow down as metal clangs met her ears and cleared the fog from her eyes. Instead of the eternal black she expected, there were only shades of red and the merciless glint of a spear. She blinked rapidly in confusion. Was she hallucinating?

Her hand trembled as it reached up to touch her bleeding neck. Her head was not severed from her body?

Golden eyes then widened in realization, that she was neither dead nor delusional. She did not imagine the scarlet shape standing in front of her wielding the spear in a cocky stance.

"You're lucky I happened to be near by, Mami. You almost got your head bitten off there. When have you gotten so weak?"

The blonde continued to stare in disbelief even as the red-haired girl picked up the torn ribbon and shoved it at her.

"Oi, stop staring off into space. Here, use this to stop the blood flow for now."

Without waiting for her reply, Sakura Kyouko leaped into the air with a mighty yell. The monstrous worm charged towards the mahou shoujo, its menacing jaws opened wide. Before it could consume her, its fangs were cleaved in half by a wild whirl of the chained spear.

Mami found herself smiling at the sight, no longer bothered by the wetness on her neck. Sakura-san was as reckless as ever, and so it was up to the senpai to keep her kouhai in line. It was the teacher's responsibility to prioritize her student's safety after all.

The blonde stood up on shaky legs that gradually regained strength while frantic shouts and battle cries filled the air. The numbness from the near-death experience faded into nothingness as she summoned her rows of muskets. The weapons spread out around her like wings, firing at just the right moment to lure and force the witch into the path of Sakura-san's spear.

Together with their impeccable teamwork, the monstrous worm was annihilated by simultaneous attacks from the two powerful mahou shoujos.

When the explosions finally subsided, a tiny ornament dropped onto the red-haired girl's palm. She smirked and twirled the item in her hand, "It's all thanks to me that the witch got destroyed, Mami. This grief seed is mine."

The gunner gazed into spear-wielder's cold crimson eyes, understanding right away that their views still clashed and caused the gaping distance between them. Their conflict from a year ago had yet to reach a conclusion.

However, Sakura-san still came to save her.

Mami smiled softly and touched the ribbon bandaged around her neck. "Certainly, Sakura-san. Thank you for your help."

The red-haired girl flashed that familiar toothy grin and haughtily rested the spear on her shoulder. Overcame by myriad of emotions, the blonde approached her friend and pulled her into a loose hug in spite of her sputtering protests.

Their thread may be tattered, but it was a start.


"Geez, I thought they'd never leave!"

"Miki-san actually reminds me of you, Sakura-san."

"What! That stubborn baka? I'm not like her, at all!"

Laughter. Vehement denial.

Then, tense silence.

"You haven't changed at all, Sakura-san."

"Tch, that's not true, I- oi, whacha doing? Now my hair's getting all over my face, bleh."

Mirthful giggle.

"I'm just getting my ribbon back~"

"Hnnf."

Another silence.

"Hey, can I come here again tomorrow?"

"You can come over whenever you want, Sakura-san."

"N-Not because I want to come or anything. Somebody's gotta eat those cakes for you."

"Are you implying something~?"

"Maybe, heh."

"Mou, you really haven't changed at all, Sakura-san. That's fine, I'll supervise your eating habits from now on."

"Eh, whatever. I'll forever be a handful kouhai to you, won't I, Mami?"

"That's fine. I'll just be a happy senpai."


A/N: Mami and Kyouko's bond is intangible to me. There are so many interpretations, but I hope I've presented most of those elements in this little oneshot. Romantic or platonic? That's up to the reader :3 If the ending might seem abrupt, it's done intentionally. I put this as T just in case, though I think K+ would've been fine too D:

Criticism or any feedback is welcome!

Notes/Rambles:

The first minion Kyouko killed is Ulla, a minion of the witch Suleika. Not a lot of information is known.

Kyouko – it amazes me that she didn't turn witch after what happened to her family. I see her callous attitude as a form of tough love, the one remnant of the cheerful girl who wished to help others. The initial sadistic tendencies are expected due to the circumstances but seeing Sayaka's descent to darkness truly awakened the hopeful person inside Kyouko. Of course, thanks to Urobuchi, poor Anko-chan was shot down (literally too in a certain timeline by a certain senpai).

Mami – the first martyr. Other than the actual ending and Oriko, she seemed to be sentenced to death in every timeline, wasn't she? The poor senpai who, due to her experience, should be the most powerful mahou shoujo without counting the other factors. The one thing that proved to be her weakness is the lack of companionship. Even when she snapped in that one timeline, she instinctively shot Kyouko first possibly wanting to spare her the fate or she merely doesn't want to be alone. Oriko or the drama CDs should be made into OVAs. More Mami screentime is needed D:

Further rant on my profile page XD;