CHAPTER ONE

"You and I loved each other," Blair Waldorf said sadly. Chuck couldn't take his eyes from her. She was so beautiful, standing in front of him, admitting she wasn't over him yet… but then, her words sunk in,

Loved.

Past tense.

He could practically feel his heart cracking in his chest.

But Blair Waldorf wasn't done yet. Her dark, caramel eyes were soft and sad as she looked up at him, their eyes locking. It was like there was no one else in my room, in the world, at that moment; just Chuck and Blair, staring into each other,

"And then you broke my heart."

She sounded so final. The words were so…ugly, Chuck thought. Blair was now looking anywhere but at him. She didn't need to cry in front of him. She didnt owe him anything, especially not her tears.

But then, it dawned on her; she was allowed to cry.

She was allowed to grieve her lost love.

Their lost love.

So, she looked at the boy standing in front of her wanting nothing more than to envelop her in his arm, but, not daring too; she, Blair Waldorf looked at him, Chuck Bass, and finally let go,

"An I've been doing everything not to face that fact," she paused, the tears she was finally going to allow herself to cry, glistening in her dark eyes,

"I'll kiss someone someday, Chuck," she whispered, "But, when I do, it'll be for me." And with that, she smiled sadly at the boy who broke her heart. It wasn't a real smile, the boy in front of her knew that, her eyes were shining with the unshed tears she was probably fighting back right at that moment.

"Goodbye, Chuck, I'm going home"

She turned away then, without another word.

Part of her, a very small part of her, wanted him to chase after her; fight for her one last time, but... she knew he wouldn't. Not because want too, not because he didn't love her, but, because he did.

Chuck Bass stood there; watching the first person he'd ever truly loved, walk away from him, again. And he could literally feel his heart being ripped from his chest.

In another life, maybe he would've chased after her, not let her get away from him...

But, he loved her, and she had asked him to let her go.

Surely he owed her that. After everything he'd put her through, he owed her the right to that.

Who knows, had they been different people, living in a different time and place, everything may've been different.

But, the fact of the matter was that she was Blair Waldorf and that he was Chuck Bass.

They were Chuck and Blair; Blair and Chuck, they would never be simple.

So, as he stood there, allowing the love of his life to walk away from him. He was comfortable in the knowledge that this wasn't the end; it couldn't be. Because he had meant what he had said to her that morning,

Nothing could ever come close to what they had.

Blair walked into her bedroom.

She'd spent the entire ride back to her apartment crying, for everything...

All the hurt Chuck had caused her, the betrayal she felt, the deep hurt, all the confusion, guilt, and, the fact that maybe, just maybe this time they had completely screwed it up, and that this time they wouldn't be able to get past it.

The fact that she'd lost him

She had lost him.

It was funny really, it should've been the other way round, she should've felt like he was the one losing her, but she didn't. Because, as much as he'd hurt her; Chuck Bass was something else.

He had been right, nothing could ever compare to what they had.

She wandered over to her desk where the box she had told Darota to burn earlier that day was positioned; and she was suddenly very glad that it, and its content, weren't ashes.

She lifted the lid and reached inside, retrieving form it a photograph of her and Chuck at some party, she smiled fondly at the memory, the tears welling up in her eyes once more. She put it back carefully, before reaching in and pulling out the dress she'd worn that night at Victrola; the night it had all begun. She hugged it too her, breathing in the smell of it. Funny how, after three years, she could've sown the smell of him was still firmly etched into the fabric...and suddenly she was sixteen again, finally breaking free.

Blair Waldorf slumped down onto the ground, still clutching the dress as tears poured down her cheeks while she visited every detail of that night:

The way he'd watched her when she was on that stage, dancing, for him, he'd looked at her like she was the only person in the world. The way he'd made her feel so special, and so, so loved. The way he made her feel...

Finally, she looked up, she was no longer crying, in fact, she suddenly felt very calm.

At peace with herself,

With Chuck

She couldn't hide her past, however much she may've wanted too, however much facing that past may've hurt, she couldn't hide from the fact that he was her past, and that her past was a part of her;

Charles Bass was a part of her.

She couldn't ignore that.

She didn't want to either, because, despite it all, she still love him.

So much.

And, she sort of knew that a part of her always would