Current Season. Gil still in "Peru." No ownership of CSI. Sad? Yes.

It's been in my head for awhile now. All this talk of Gil and Sara's "unconventional marriage" and whether or not it's working for them. Everyone goes through regret and withdrawal in situations like this. It proves they're only human!

The Final Straw

Her entire body was shaking. Her face and back was dripping with sweat. After finally waking up, her throat started to close on her. Constriction so bad she could barely breathe. She threw off the covers and sprinted to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, scorching water, and leaned against the countertop, staring into the mirror. With the shower steam clearing her airways, she was able to slowly take deep breaths. The dark circles under her eyes were haunting enough. She had to get back to bed. Once the faucets were off, she made her way back to the bedroom. Back to the empty bedroom. To the empty bed.

There hadn't been a nightmare this severe in months. Natalie was gone. Out of their lives. Why was she still torturing her in her dreams? Gil wasn't here. He wasn't by her side to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her it's alright - Natalie's gone.

What was she to do?

She needed to settle down and take a few seconds to register what happened.

"I need to call him."

After inhaling sharply, her hand searched for her phone in the darkened room. Without thinking her fingers dialed his number...

~~~~~~ Half a dozen rings and no answer. "Ok, give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's what 10 AM here so it's around 1 PM there? He must be busy," She tells herself. "His phone is on because it didn't go straight to voicemail."

"Hi, this is Gil Grissom. I'm unavailable to take your-"

Again, she inhaled sharply and continued to listen to his sweet, sweet voice. "God, why do I feel like this?" Scared, upset, hurt, angry, confused, frustrated, and so many other things. "Say what you feel. Don't hold back."

His voice stopped. ~~~ "Gil-" Already her voice is breaking. "Please, pick up your phone." She takes a breath and sniffles. "I-I really need you. It happened again. A nightmare. She's gone, but she's still here with me." She brings a hand to her face to wipe the tears. "My heart is breaking. I don't have you here with me to make it all better. I just want this-need these awful feelings to go away!" Now her blood is starting to boil. She rants, "Don't think I'm putting all the blame on you! Ok, we're both selfish, still too concerned with our jobs! We're married for Christ's sake! We should be together!"' Her breaths are ragged. She's now huffing, "I want us to be together. I miss you." And with that she ended the call. "Oh, and I love you."

Her body is aching. Her mind seems cloudy, not yet ready to face the music. Her phone stirs her awake. With eyes still closed she reaches for her phone. Can't find it. She studies her nightstand. Not there. She feels around her sheets. Yup, under her pillow. "I must've fallen asleep before moving my phone." She unlocks the screen to see almost a dozen missed calls. Looking at the time it's after six o'clock. "I went back to sleep for 8 hours?" She doesn't know if she should curse herself for being late to work or applaud herself for actually resting up. She decides to play the messages.

"Sara, it's D.B. Where are you? Shift started. Are you alright?"

"Hey there Sar. Nick here. Is everything ok? You're never late to work..."

"Sara, it's Catherine. It's 20 minutes past the start of shift. You ok? We're all starting to worry..."

"Greggo here. Where are you Mrs. Grissom? Bad girl being late to work!"

After scrolling through those messages, she sees there are still six new ones. All of them were from Gil. She rubs her temple. "I need more time. I can't do this now. I had to wait for him, so he can wait for me. I need some food than a nice bath. Then I'll contemplate work." With that, she grabs her bathrobe and heads downstairs.

~~~~~~ "Sara, it's me. Please pick up. You're really worrying me. I've called you gosh I don't know how many times before. I called the guys-you didn't show up for work. What's going on? Talk to me. I'm on my way to the airport..."

Well? Don't hate me lol. I just went for it. I'm not sure where I was going with this, but I had to put it out there. I hope you liked it. Please review! And be nice :)