Six Weeks
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Wolf. I also do not own "Six Weeks" by Of Monsters and Men.
A/n: I get these feels from Teen Wolf and I think writing something will help me do something productive with these feels. (Hopefully by productive I mean, literally I can move on and become productive.) Maybe listen to "Six Weeks" while you read.
The darkness sort of keys him up. Which makes every bit of his ADHD worse. He's tried increasing his daily dose of Adderall, but that doesn't affect the darkness. Which, in turn, meant he still had all of that extra energy coming from it. Forget what Deaton said about the Nemeton, Stiles felt like he was the beacon of Beacon Hills with the flares he was putting off. He really needed something to just slow, slow him down.
And when the darkness isn't making him go out of his mind with pent up energy, it's making him got out of his mind. The emotions that come from his rapidly beating heart are often tainted nowadays. When they finally get to his brain (after escaping from his mouth first because, hello? Stiles Stilinski has no filter), the darkness spreads to his thoughts about said emotions. He has certain feelings about his dad, which leads to certain thoughts. These become tainted. He definitely has hugely specific feelings about his mother and now those thoughts are so, so very tainted and dark. His nightmares these days are awfully reminiscent of that one hallucination he had at Lydia's birthday party that suddenly feels so very long ago. That is, when he sleeps, because, remember, he has too much, way too much extra energy these days. Some would say it is almost supernatural…sarcasm does appear to be all he has. (Though that's not the complete truth.) But anyway, his darkness clouded heart clenches at thoughts of his dead mother. The thoughts get stronger and the emotions fester deeper. Some days it is so bad that he thinks he can feel her blood, even though her death was bloodless, resting in an eternal coat of red paint on his bones.
This is why he suddenly tells his dad everything. If more danger is coming, Stiles knows it eventually will and probably a lot of it will directly affect himself, Sheriff Stilinski is never going to be out of the loop again. It was the only way to truly protect him now. His dad comforts him in the only way a single father who lost the love of his life too soon can, he holds his son to him tightly. Just so that Stiles knows that he will never let go. And they visit the grave where his mother was buried so that maybe the dark thoughts could have a chance to escape; Stiles would say, 'lay to rest' as he held his dad because he could not rest himself.
It does not take a genius, or Lydia, to realize that they all are struggling with this. Scott is struggling. Allison is struggling. Stiles is struggling. To help heal themselves and one another, they get closer. Scott throws his arm around his best friend's shoulder and the other around his ex-girlfriend's waist. Sometimes it makes walking the halls of Beacon Hills High School awkward. Yet all Stiles can think is, 'if we fall, we fall. At least we do it together.' Only seconds after falling in such a disgraceful heap (laughing their bruised asses off), does he realize that gravity is a bitch because 'if we fall, we fall to the ground'. They know anyway that being an amorphous blob of what used to be three distinct people keeps the darkness at bay and a warm shield protects their hearts.
The first thing his dad does when he pops into Stiles' room before a night shift is command his teenage son to sleep. The forceful command, and what its subtext does to Stiles' warm fuzzies, allows him to sleep all night. His dad may be gone for the night, nevertheless, Stiles can still sense his presence in the house, the home they share. While this young, fresh sort of father-son dynamic between them grows, he knows it will be for the better, the best. They wait alone together until that day. It painfully reminds him of days spent waiting for the worst. It reminds him of every day, every hour, every minute, every second spent in the hospital waiting for his mom…to die. The darkness around his heart reminds him of those moments; it wants to turn the present into the past. Stiles will not let it. Because this, these moments, are waiting for the day when they finally have their Beacon Hills back under their feet in a solid ground sort of way. His brain shouts to his heart through the darkness, "So get up!". Together they will figure out a way to shake the rust that is the past off, from both of their bodies.
Stiles is having another nightmare tonight. The darkness around his heart is winning. However, tonight's dream is an atypical one in that he is not alone (or it's not just him and his dad). Tonight's dream features Stiles, Scott, and Allison. And the Nemeton. The thing's on fire. The flames are so high that Stiles thinks they could lick the stars in the firmament. And of course these flames are freezing cold, like the darkness in their hearts. They share a look with one another because they know that this collection of giant flame is the beacon that will call all matter of dark, nasty, and murderous things to their home. The three of them lie flat on their bellies in the dirt a ways away from the evil tree. Scott, in the middle, grabs Allison's hand in his. Then he grabs Stiles'. He smiles like the freaking True Alpha he is and we always knew he would one day be. (Does he have to be the best damn puppy in a sea of bad dogs?) Allison starts to sing as if she's a kindergarten teacher trying to calm her class down during a scary fire drill. "We crawl, we crawl, we crawl, we crawl on the ground." Her smile is shaking and she's in tears, but she's being strong. Scott answers her with a gentle squeeze to her hand in his. He looks to Stiles. Who finally rolls his eyes, because, my god, they are so cheesily perfect for one another, and starts to sing too. "To beat this stupid stump of a tree down."
In the sea of people at Beacon Hills High School, these days, Stiles feels pretty alone anyway. He has his friends, of course, but when they are not sharing classes, lunch, or practice together, he feels so separate from them. It is the darkness around his heart talking to him. It is times like this that he has to truly battle it. It and the things it does to him. At school, Stiles fights these animals.
Later he goes home or he goes to Scott's house. Those are his two refuges. He's alone until he gets home. Scott is his best friend and always, always will be, so he spends a lot of time at Scott's house. They watch TV and play video games. Eat junk food and stay up late. Their relationship is tight and Stiles knows that he and Scott are bound together forever. For him, no matter what happens, from now on it's a wolf, a wolf and him, against whatever may come their way. Barely watching mind-numbingly dull television, they spend another night keeping the darkness at bay as they share the same cold meal of half-frozen burritos they forgot to microwave all the way. Later that night, instead of the plentiful energy buzzing along his veins, it hums in his blood. He is in Scott's bed and he floats on, he floats on down to a quiet slumber.
There is no consensus among them about which is more painful. Allison maintains that it is the things the darkness whispers to her. It reminds her of the women in her family and what happened to them. It makes her fret and fear she'll one day be walking the same path; it is coaxing her to succumb to it. Disagreeing, Scott believes that it is the physical pain that the darkness brings. Everyday he can feel his heart getting crushed just a little bit more until he thinks that there will one day be nothing left. He worries all it will leave him with is the body of an animal that once used to be a man. Stiles shakes his head at them because he knows that the waiting is the worst. The waiting for the next big bad and deadly thing to come to Beacon Hills. The waiting for another person to die. The waiting for the darkness to win. They do reach an agreement on how to help them all deal with these separate tortures together; Allison was the one to come up with it of course. (With help from Lydia and her vast knowledge she used to hide so well.) Everyday, the three of them start with an affirmation. "We ride, we ride, we ride, we ride it all out." They say it to themselves when they wake up. They text it to one another before they leave for the day. They grab hands and whisper it among themselves when they meet up. "We ride, we ride, we ride, we ride it all. Ride, we ride, we ride, we ride it all. Ride, we ride, we ride, we ride it all out." It is no surprise when the others join them (when Lydia, Isaac, Ethan, and Aiden are caught murmuring it too).
Stiles is beginning to feel less alone at school. No longer does it seem he fights these animals alone. It doesn't have to wait until he gets home. Their group of friends is closer and he doesn't wander the halls alone. He fights these animals the darkness brings with his friends. It's nice not to be alone at school anymore; no more having to wait for refuge until he gets home or heads to Scott's. Stiles shares a smile with others because he is not alone today or tomorrow and because he fights these animals of terror, doubt, and pain more effectively now that he is not alone today or tomorrow. He smiles until he gets home, and then he smiles some more. School, life, friends, even the never-ending darkness were more than manageable these days. It's hard not to have a more positive outlook on this (Stiles is accomplished in putting a positive spin on things, helps keep his sarcasm razor-sharp), being not alone, not having Stiles fight these animals alone, him not just waiting it out until he gets home, and the presence of all of them only increases the good.
His dad quickly realizes that the Old Stiles is coming back in bits and pieces. He's coming back a little more each moment that passes. Sheriff Stilinski watches from the open door of Stiles' room as Old Stiles starts coming back more; he smiles a small little smile to see that his son, that he's coming back to a better place.
In preparation for what is likely to come, drawn to the beacon of Beacon Hills, Stiles Stilinski has started jogging. And running. Training like he's made first line on the lacrosse team. It's not going to give him the muscles and physique of a werewolf. (Cursing Scott, and occasionally the "missing" Derek, seems to help his workouts go a little more productively.) Most of the time he runs around the woods; it releases way more of his pent up energy than just running on a treadmill does. And the forest life smells good to him in a way that also calms him. Calms him because it reminds him of his mother. (So cursing Derek and thinking of his mom helps him run best.) 'It's like,' he thinks, 'she follows me into the woods'. Then, as he cools down, he thinks, 'she takes me home'. Every run he has the same thoughts to sooth the ache the darkness creates, 'My mom is still here. She follows me into the woods. She takes me home.'
Scott walks into school and looks around; he spots Lydia and Aiden, Danny and Ethan, Allison and Isaac; then he releases a sort of half smile. Stiles has followed his friend's path through the doors and he comes up behind Scott to throw a friendly arm over his shoulder. He brings his other arm up to clap Scott on the chest. The two best friends glance at one another, leading Scott to grin widely and Stiles to purse his lips in an attempt to hide his own cheesy smile. Then they start walking forward together. They are coming back to themselves. They're coming back. They are coming back to themselves. They're coming back. Suddenly, even at school, Stiles recalls, 'She follows me into the woods and takes me home.' Meanwhile, Scott puts his head down to think, 'We are coming back, we're coming back. We are coming back, we're coming back,' pulls it back up to grin again. Stiles continues thinking, 'She follows me into the woods. She takes me home.' Finally, he is humming it out loud. "Coming back, I'm coming back. Coming back, I'm coming back. She follows me into the woods, takes me home."
Stile has a darkness that surrounds his heart. But he's not going to let that kill him. Not when he lives in a town full of freakin' werewolves.
Fin.
A/n: This fic was inspired by the song "Six Weeks" by Of Monsters and Men. All italicized words are lyrics from the song in the exact order that they are sung; however, I did have to change a few pronouns and tenses. This was a sort of hard work I enjoyed, but please let me know if something's off, or if I messed up on italicizing things (oh my gosh, I would be so upset if I missed something in my edits). Thank you.
