My name is Jake, I have such an amazing story to tell… it wont ever become a best selling book, heck no one would ever believe me if I even tried to tell them.
It all started when I lost my job…. I was down in the dumps and drinking my problems away, or so I thought! I never had been a ladies man, heck I never could even talk to girls till I was 23, so when this older lady in a weird dress with a lizard sat down next to me; I didn't think to look twice at her. "What will it be lady?" the bartender asked. "Just water please, thank you". The woman turned to me and introduced herself as Valerie Frizzle. Why does frizzle ring a bell… and what's with that outrageous outfit? I thought to myself as I shook her hand and likewise introduced myself. I explained with a bit of a slur to Val that I was going through a rough patch in my life and was hoping for a change of scenery soon. She seemed content to listen, and boy was I not used to people wanting to listen to my problems! After about 30 minutes of me jabbering on, Val reached into her pocket and retrieved some paper and a pen, scribbling down a number. She said she had to get home but to call her sometime to talk more… I was flabbergasted! A women actually wanted to give little old me her number? It's probably a fake number I reasoned in my head as I accepted the paper with trembling hands "Thanks!" I replied as I watched her head for the door… I could have sworn I saw that lizard of hers wink at me. Thinking I had too much to drink as it was I paid my tab and stumbled down the street towards home.
THE NEXT DAY
"AH FUCK!" I yelled to no one in particular when I woke up the next day. I must have had too much to drink because not only did I end up sleeping on my kitchen floor, I realized as I awoke, that I had pissed my pants before passing out. This is why I don't drink I thought. The night had been mostly a blur except for meeting that one lady, and then I remembered she had given me her number and I decided after I took a LONG hot shower, and after I was more back to myself, I would call the number for giggles, just to see what crazy business's number she gave me. I took a shower and got in a decent frame of mind by 3pm that day, being it was a weekday I figured that the late afternoon would be a better time to call, figuring if she had a normal job like most people… her work day would be ending soon, and she might be more willing to chat. Of COURSE this was contingent on the idea that she gave me HER number and not the number to the local Loony Bin.
Ring. Ring. Ring… "Hello?" a voice on the other end of the phone said. My heart leapt, it was HER! "um hi, this is uh Jake… the guy from the bar last night" I mumbled still in shock that someone might actually want to talk to me. "Of course! You're the wonderful young man from that bar, we hit it off I think". This is when I started to sweat a bit. Had I been that nice of a person to her last night? I couldn't remember! Thinking quickly I said "I wanted to apologize if I was in any way unruly, I usually don't act like that, hell I usually don't drink!" "you were a bit drunk, yes… but if I wasn't interested in talking to you, I certainly wouldn't have given you my number" after she said that I kind of felt like an ass, I mean, that made sense. "I was hoping maybe we could get together for dinner this weekend, I would love to get to know you a bit better" this was almost too good to be true! She wanted to suddenly have dinner with me? Wow I must have done something right! "Sure" I said "When and where can I pick you up?" I asked "You know where Walkerville Elementary School is? Let's meet there around lets say, 4 pm on Saturday?". "Sure that sounds great Ma'am" So things WERE looking up after all!
On Saturday, I got dressed in my best looking clothes and even styled my hair. I wanted everything to be perfect, I wasn't messing this up! By 4 pm I had arrived at Walkerville Elementary School. The lot was empty except for a small yellow bus parked in the far corner by the gym. I parked near the bus figuring Val would arrive soon. After getting out of my little hatchback, I inspected the bus's exterior a bit and noticed it had a face of sorts, who would build a bus with a face? I wonder if it's somehow related to Ms. Frizzle. I had little time to reflect on such things as I heard something from overhead. "Waaa aaah ah hooo! Good evening!" my mind just went out the window as I saw Valerie Frizzle parachuting down to where I was standing "Do you always make such an entrance?" I asked a bit amused by the way this was starting. "I find it clears one's mind" she said, not quite answering the question. She packed up the parachute and unzipped her suit to reveal a dress almost as crazy as the one she wore the night at the bar. "Wow! Your um, Stunning!" I said, unsure of what else to say. "I hope you don't mind, but I brought Liz along. I hardly go anywhere without her". The same lizard from the other night appeared on Val's shoulder. So that's its name… Cool "it's nice to meet you Liz" I said as I got a bit closer to pet her. "I figured we could do dinner at that little Italian place on the corner" Val seemed to like what I suggested, and it seemed as though Liz approved too. We all got into my car and headed towards the restaurant, engaging in small talk on the ride over. Val explained that she was a teacher at the school and had loved teaching children all her life. I was very impressed by how dedicated she seemed to be with her job and how much she loved working with children. "Gosh, if I had teachers like you when I was in school I might have gotten better grades" she giggled at my honesty, saying that you never knew what the future held. We finally made it to the restaurant and got a table by the window. A waiter came by and got us drinks and took our order. Over dinner we got acquainted better and by the end of the meal I knew that even if the date didn't work out I still wanted to be good friends. After I paid the bill and we headed back towards the school, Ms. Frizzle posed a very interesting question "Do you believe in Witches, the unexplained and magic?" I turned into the school parking lot, shut off the engine and turned to her. "What would you say if I told you that I am a witch of sorts and I have a magical bus that takes me and my students all over the galaxy, so they can learn all about well, EVERYTHING!" I pondered this for a moment and said "If that was the case, A. you would have to prove that to me somehow and B. why would you tell me on the first date? Do you trust me that much with such a secret?"
