i. May 1st should be a good day, or at least a normal one. But it's not and it never is and it is, Dean thinks, the waste of a perfectly innocent day. It reminds Dean of how he was with watercolor when he first began to use it: a certain color was meant to be in only one place, but nearly every time, at least a bit of it would escape and drip down to a part of the painting-in-progress where it was most definitely not supposed to be. Even after Dean dabbed at it and dried it up, you could still see the where the paint had been.

Every May 1st, a day relatively innocent as far as days close to the Battle could go, the sorrow and memories and feelings of the second would drip down to then, and many people would walk around, their posture already stooped and their faces already downcast.

It's like something extra is in the air; something foreboding, something that never fails to set Dean on the edge. It's a day which, years ago, several people were still alive for and aren't alive for anymore and something about that is even worse than the next day where they actually die.

As Dean became more adept at watercolor, the paint didn't drip into places it wasn't meant to. The first is not a watercolor painting, and it continues to get drenched with feelings that belong in a different place.

ii. Sometimes, Ernie Macmillan supposes he shouldn't be angry with himself for taking certain things for granted. After all, for the whole school year of '97-'98, he did not take much for granted, such as his health (the Carrows enjoyed dishing out severe punishments), his family (they were outside Hogwarts and could be caught in the middle of an attack; at least at school the Carrows wouldn't go so far as killing because what was it other than an easy escape?), and his future (it wasn't the first time Ernie had a bit of doubt in Harry Potter—the bloke was just his own age, and he was going up against an evil man with years of experience, if he even got that far).

But past the pomposity and the fussiness and other such flaws, Ernie was a Hufflepuff through and through, and he refused to make excuses for himself. A good example of honesty: Ernie Macmillan took Justin Finch-Fletchley for granted.

A good example of truth, something that goes hand-in-hand with honesty: Justin Finch-Fletchley was killed in the Battle of Hogwarts.

Ernie tries not to think of Justin during the rest of the year. That is the past, and here is the now, and thoughts of someone who has been dead interferes with the now and the to-come; rule number forty-seven in What Not to Do During a Conversation: Bring up a dead friend.

But as April fades, Ernie's mind wanders, as May (also known as The Month When Ernie is Allowed to Let Go) dawns. He wonders (Rule Number Fifteen in How to Deal With Life: Do not think of things that will not ever happen), sometimes, how May 1st would have been if he knew Justin would die a day later. Not well, he thinks in the back of his mind; he would probably go about thinking up an orderly schedule of what to do to make the best of Justin's last day living, which might have made it even worse than it was.

May 2nd is a list of losses, but May 1st is worse; May 1st is a list of regrets.

iii. May 1st, summarized in a neat and tidy little sentence: Another day in a world where Daphne Greengrass would be fine as long as she did what Voldemort and his Death Eaters wanted, because she was a Slytherin and a pureblood.

Daphne does not begin her mourning a day early; the first was an ending and an ending to a world like that one does not deserve mourning.

iv. Whenever Draco Malfoy wakes up at exactly six-fifteen in the morning, like always, on the first of May, he is never sure as the memories begin to return in full force whether to be grateful for, angry, or sad with what happened.

He gets out of bed; he stands up straight with perfect posture; as he dresses, he puts a handkerchief in his pocket just in case but makes sure he never needs to use it. Malfoys do not cry, either with joy or with sadness. May is no exception.

v. May 1st, 1998 is the last full day of Mandy Brocklehurst's eighteen and a quarter-year life; she is just one in a sea of graves.


So this is a series of oneshots--four oneshots--about May. I figure May, for the UK witches and wizards involved in any way in the Battle of Hogwarts, is a pretty crappy time of year, filled with all sorts of memories and regrets and loss. The next three focus on May 2nd (the day of the Battle of Hogwarts, according to JKR), May 3rd, and May 31st.

This'll be finished, unlike just about all of my other chaptered fics, because they're all written already. xD I suppose I'll post the next three over the course of the next couple of weeks or so.