Note: Welcome to my 2nd story! Fun fact, this is actually based off a dream I had, so the way things are happening and how Church looks is from that. Yep, my mind is strange. Also yeah, I'm doing the whole falling from the sky to land in another world cliché. I do not own RvB or MLP.

Okay Begin!


Twilight was conducting some experimental magic when Pinkie Pie suddenly busted through the door, startling the unicorn and making her spell impload on itself.

"Pinkie!" the purple unicorn yelled.

The cupcake loving pony was running around in circles and crashing into a bunch of things, knocking them over and breaking some others.

"What are you supposed to be doing?!" Twilight asked her energetic friend.

"Can't. Talk. Must. Find. Shiny!" Pinkie Pie replied.

"What?"

Just then the purple unicorn heard laughing behind her and turned around to find Rainbow Dash with a laser pointer.

"Heh, sorry Twilight. I was hanging out with Pinke Pie when I found this, she just started chasing it so I couldn't help myself." the pegasus explained while still messing with their friend.

"Well did you have to make her chase it inside my house?"

"I guess not, but you have to admit it's a pretty good show."

Twilight just sighed. She had been preparing that experiment for weeks, now her upgraded teleportation spell was a complete bust... or so she thought.


Two minutes earlier on Chorus...

"Hey, uh... I just wanted to let you guys know that out of everyone I ever met, I hate you all the least." Church told the other Reds and Blues plus Doc as they were ready to fight Haragrove's men.

Tucker just looked at him through the Meta's helmet. "See you on the other side Church." he responded as he got into a fighting stance.

Suddenly time froze.

Epsilon sighed. "Not this time buddy." he said before dropping his sniper rifle. It disintegrated itself.

He turned to face his friends, no... his family, one last time.

"Are you sure about this?" Delta asked as he appeared.

"I'm sure. Start a recording for me D."

"Recording." the green AI said before disappearing.

"Hey guys, if you're hearing this it means you did it. You won. You kicked the shit out of Hargrove's forces, I knew you could... but this is my last stop. See when I came into this world I was, really just a collection of someone else's memories. But with your help, these memories they; they took form. They became my voice, my personality... and, after a while; I began to make brand new memories of my own. All of these things are, what makes me who I am... but they're also holding me back. I can't run this suit as Epsilon, but if I erase my memories if I... deconstruct myself, the fragments I'll leave behind will have the strength to get you through this."

Omega, Gamma, Delta, Sigma, Eta, Iota, and Theta flashed in front of him in a line facing towards the soldiers.

"I believe that. I wish there was another way, but I'm leaving this message as well as others in the hopes that you understand why I have to go this time. Haha... It was, it was actually Doyle who made me realize something that I've never thought of before. There's so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero, never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference."

Church glitched.

"They'll never know if the day was actually saved."

He glitched again.

"In the end, they just have to have faith."

Epsilon glitched one more time before shattering.

"... Ain't that a bitch?"


All the shattered pieces of Epsilon reformed in a plain of light blue.

"So, this is the afterlife huh? Feels, kind of breezy."

Something white sped past and above him.

"Huh?"

It was followed by several more before he realized what they were.

"Are these, clouds?"

He then realized that he was falling from the sky.

"HOLY SHIIIIIIII...!"


Fluttershy, Rarity, and a few animals were on a picnic when the sky went pitch black for a second and looked up when it returned to normal. However, when it did the two pony's saw a bright flash of light and heard a faint noise that just kept on getting louder.

"...IIIIIIIIT!"

The group quickly ran from their spots as somepony splatted cartoonily flat in the smack center of the blanket... with their face landing in a pie.


"Auuugh..." Church moaned. 'What the fuck just happened? I feel like I just got hit by a truck.' he thought to himself.

Epsilon slowly sat up with his vision shut off. How could an AI have pain? That didn't seem physically possible. He turned his vision back on and was startled by the first thing that he had seen.

"Hi!" a girl greeted him, a pink thing with big blue eyes were directly in front of his face blocking his vision from everything else.

"What the shit?!" he yelled as he fell off the medical bed and faceplanted on the floor. "Oww."

"Ooh, this is great! I'll go let them know you've woken up! Then we can throw a party!" the girl said happily as she sped out of the room.

Church sat up, only to fall back down after trying to stand on his legs.

"Damnit. The hell was that?... Wait." He had heard a familiar voice. "Tex?!"

Church quickly looked for his girlfriend that he had to let go of to finally let her rest in peace from where he was sitting but couldn't find her anywhere. Instead he only saw what looked like a medical room.

"Tex? Wait a second. Lalala? Tucker's a dick. Fuck. ... Why the hell do I sound like Tex?!"

Not only did he sound like Texas but he felt weird too. He felt a little extra weight on the sides of his back from when Alpha had a body, actually, how did he even feel weight in general? Or pain? Or even the wind from earlier when he fell from the freaking sky?

Epsilon put his hands on the side of the bed and pushed himself up into a standing position... wait. His hands? Those things supporting him weren't hands. Whatever the crap they were looked like black animal legs.

He then heard the door click and saw two white stallions with gold armor walk in and move out of the way for a bigger horse to enter. It was also white but was about double the height of the other two, had gold hooves, a flowy rainbow mane and tail, pink eyes, a horn, a pair of wings, was wearing a tiara, and had a tattoo of the sun on it's rear. As if that wasn't enough, it was followed a light-purple unicorn smaller than the armored ones with a dark-purple mane and tail with a light-purple streak, purple eyes, and a tattoo of a purple star surrounded by smaller white ones on it's butt.

Church stared at them in disbelief. "Okay, what kind of sick joke is this?"

"Pardon me?" the big magical unicorn thing said.

"Wait... did you, did you just talk?"

"... Yes." it said as though it were confused. From the tone it sounded female.

Silence.

"That's it, I've gone insane." Epsilon remarked and tried to walk off only to fall on the floor again. "Oh, come on!"

"Who are you?" the tiara wearing horse asked a second question.

"The hell should I tell you?"

"Because if you don't I will have no choice but to view you as more of a threat than I already do. Getting to know one's name is a start on the path to trust."

"What are you some kind of monk? Fine, I'll tell you who I am; but only after we answer a few questions of mine."

Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing. This pony had literally zero respect for Princess Celestia.

"Very well then. What do you want to know?" the tiara pony asked.

"The hell am I?" Epsilon asked.

"You are in Ponyville."

"... Ponyville?"

"Yes."

"... What the heck are you farmers or something?"

"Not everypony, but there are a few."

"Where's Ponyville located?"

"It's an overnight trip from Canterlot."

"Where's Canterlot?"

The princess was puzzled. "Are you aware that you're in Equestria?"

Church put his "hand" to his chin. 'Equestria? Canterlot? Ponyville? Is everything named by horse puns? Wait. Horse's talking, horse pun place names, I fell from the sky... Son of a bitch. I didn't erase myself. I somehow transported myself to another word! What the actual balls?!' "Yeah, I'm aware. Just testing you." 'I can't believe this! Why does the dumb shit always happen to me?! I guess I'll try to play it off until I can get out of here.'

"Oh? Well then. Any other questions?"

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?"

Again, the princess was confused. "I am Celestia. The ruler of Equestria."

'Of course you fucking are.' "So, what do I owe the pleasure of royalty?"

"That is something we will discuss in a second. First, your name please."

"Huh? Oh ya, right. Uh, Epsilon Church."

"That's quite an odd name."

"Yeah well so is Celestia."

The princess snickered. "Well yes, I suppose it might be. As for the reason I have come here is because you fell from the sky, and I wasn't aware that there was another alicorn."

"Well yeah, I suppose that does look kind of... wait. Did you say alicorn?"

"Were you not aware?"

"Umm... What's an alicorn?"

"Alicorns are those few who are gifted with both a horn and wings, typically they are rulers and have a specific job to do on top of that. Like how I raise the sun and my sister raises the moon. However one can only become an alicorn if they are given the change by another alicorn, and I don't recall Cadince or Luna doing so and I haven't myself."

Church could feel his eyes expand and ran on all fours to a mirror that was hanging on the wall.

'Ah, what the hell?! I'm a fucking horse?!'

Then he finally realized what he looked like and his heart sank.

Epsilon Church was now a black horse around the same size as the purple unicorn in the room, had bright blue eyes to the point of nearly glowing, a blonde mane and tail, and a tattoo of computer coding alongside a sniper rifle on his rear. Subtract the tattoo and bright blue eyes and not only did he sound like but looked like...

"Tex..."

In real life, Allison Church had blonde hair but her memory (Texas) was covered in black battle armor.

The room filled with awkward silence until Church snapped out of his sorrow and recalled something Celestia had said.

"Hold on. Did you just tell me that you could control the sun and your sister controls the moon?"

"Indeed." the princess responded.

"So alicorns are like gods?"

"I suppose...?" Celestia didn't know how to respond to his question because she didn't know what a god was.

However, the toothy grin Epsilon formed made her, Twilight, and the guards uncomfortable.

"Okay, maybe this doesn't suck as much as I thought."

Church then got an idea. He pointed his horn at one of the guards and imagined them flying through the wall. As he did, the four in the room took a defensive stance as his horn was glowing blue. He shot a magic laser that did exactly what he imagined.

"Holy shit! This is awesome! I am awesome!" Epsilon exclaimed.

"What was that for?!" Celestia demanded.

"What? Oh yeah, I just wanted to test to see if I could use magic."

Church remembered that in some of the story books that he had to read to Caboose to make him go to sleep had unicorns that could use magic.

"Did you have to test it on one of my guards?!" the princess demanded.

"I suppose not, but what good is being a god if you can't smite some people?" he said with a smirk.

The three equines were shocked by what the new arrival had just said. From how "she" was talking about it, a god seemed like a powerful being like the princess... and "she" said that there was no point in being one if they couldn't hurt ponies. They didn't lower their guard for a few more minutes while the nurse made sure the knocked out stallion was okay.

"So Epsilon, where are you from?" Twilight asked while still skeptical of the alicorn.

"Umm... Canterlot." That was the only place Church knew the name of besides Ponyville.

"Really? I'm from there too. How did you not know about Princess Celestia? I mean her castle is set there."

"Oh, umm... I was homeschooled."

"But you still could have seen her..."

"I never went outside."

"What about in books?"

"I don't read picture books."

"What's your family like?"

Church smiled slightly. "They're loud, annoying, assholes who are complete and utter idiots. But they always had mine and eachother's backs whenever times got tough or one of us screwed up." Church's smile faded and he looked down. "But they're gone now."

Sure he was making it seem like they died when it was actually him who did... several times, but he was on an unknown world and these magic, talking, rainbow, horse, things wouldn't believe that anyways.

Twilight looked down and apologized. "Oh, I-I'm sorry."

After talking for a little while longer Celestia pulled the unicorn called Twilight Sparkle to the side.

'And I thought Caboose was a dumb name.' Church thought.

"Can you do me a favor?" Celestia asked her student.

"What is it?" asked Twilight.

"I would like you to take Epsilon in until we get a house here for her."

"No disrespect Princess, but are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm sure it'll be fine, she doesn't seem like she meant too much harm. She must be going through a hard time after all and she doesn't have anywhere to stay. Plus, this could help you with your friendship lessons."

Twilight thought about it for a second. Like the princess said, Epsilon could be going through pain that she would hopefully never feel and the alicorn could use some friends if she just stayed home all the time and to comfort her. Twilight was still kind of new to the whole having friends thing but it was already a lot better than having none.

"I'll do it." the purple unicorn said.

"Thanks. Although I recommend you keep an eye on her and let me know if anything seems off."

Celestia was greatly disturbed by the thought of a new alicorn that nopony had mentioned and on top of that she also had to worry about when and why the sky went darker than midnight before returning to normal with a blinding flash in the sky that followed... maybe the two were connected? Epsilon did fall from the sky almost immediately afterwards. For the time being, the princess needed somepony that would keep an eye an the new alicorn whilst she looked into the anomaly.

Twilight nodded at what the princess had said and the two looked back at Church who was figuring out how to fly.

"Epsilon, are you looking for a place to stay?" the purple pony asked.

Church stopped moving and managed to stay in place whilst in the air as he was flapping his wings and put his hoof to his chin again. 'Well I suppose I do need somewhere while I try to figure out how to get away from this place. I could also research some of this alicorn shit.' "Actually I am."

"Well, you can stay at the library with me until we get you a house built."

'Library? That's perfect. Wait. Why is she living in a library? Hold on. She basically just asked a stranger to live with her for a while and I look like a girl to them. Oh fuck. If she turns out to be a lesbian, I am so fucking out of here.' "Thanks, I'll take you up on that."

A little while later the two alicorns, Twilight, and the two guards left the hospital. Celestia said her goodbye's before she and the "golden girls" as Church called the stallions (male horses) left. The princess got on a chariot that was being pulled by two more guards who where pegasi.

'Seriously? You have fucking wings and you make them pull you. Man, and Tucker called Alpha lazy for piggyback rides. This is like Grif levels of lazy.' Church thought.

He then turned around to see five more ponies looking at him. One was another unicorn, there were two pegasi, and finally two "regular ones". Regular in quotes cause they were still freaking colorful. The new unicorn was white with an extremely groomed navy-blue mane/tail, blue eyes, and three blue diamond tattoos on her rear. One pegasus was light-yellow with a groomed pink mane/tail, blue eyes, and three pink butterfly tattoos on her rear while the other was light-blue with a rainbow colored mane/tail, pink eyes, and a tattoo of a cloud with a rainbow lighting strike on her rear. Finally, the first " regular pony" was pink all around except for her blue eyes and two light-blue balloons with a yellow one on her rear and her mane/tail was wild while the second one was orange with a yellow mane/tail that were pulled back by red bands, had green eyes, three red apple tattoos on her rear, and was wearing a cowboy hat.

"Epsilon, this is Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Applejack. Girls, this is Epsilon." Twilight said.

The new ponies responded accordingly to their introductions. "A pleasure., H-hi., Sup?, Hello!, Howdy!"

The pony known as Pinkie Pie ran up at freaking jet-like speed with the biggest and dumbest smile that Church had ever seen on her face, and he lived with Caboose. She stopped only a few inches from his face before words fell from her mouth like a stinkin' waterfall.

"Sorryaboutscaringyouearlierbut,ooh!I'mjustsoexcitedtobeabletomakeanothernewfriend!IsayanotherbecauseIjustmetTwilightalittlebitagoandwellI'mjustsoexcited!DidIsaythatalready?IthinkIalreadysaidthatbutIdon'tcare!I'mjustsoexcitedtomakeanothernewfriend!I'mgoingtothrowyouabig'WelcometoPonyville'party!Andhere'salittlesomethingsomethingforyou!"

Pinkie then breathed in a ton of air before she started singing and dancing.

|Welcome, welcome, welcome!

A fine welcome to you!

Welcome, welcome, wel...!|

Pinkie would have continued if Applejack didn't pull her back.

"You might wanna calm down there sugarcube. I think yer makin' Epsilon here uncomfortable." the cowpony told her.

Everyone looked at Church who was frozen in place and his right eye was twitching.

'Holy. Shit. It's a female Caboose. A pink, pony version of Caboose on a sugar rush and a stupidly high voice. And just when I thought this hell couldn't get any worse. Kill. Me. Now. God.' he thought.

"So, umm... I didn't know we had another princess." Rainbow Dash said.

"Did you...? Did you just say I'm a princess?"

"Uh, yeah. You don't see anypony other than them who have both wings and a horn."

'PRINCESS?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! ARE ALL ALICORNS ARE PRINCESSES?! I MEAN IT, I WANT TO DIE!'

"It seems like she just became one not that long ago." Twilight explained.

'Oh, you have no damn idea!'


That night...

Church was finally able to get away from the others and was on his way to the library with Twilight.

'At least the pink Caboose copy left to go prepare for her stupid party.' he thought to himself.

The two stopped walking when they got to a giant tree. A tree. A tree with windows, a door, and an overhanging porch on the side... at this point he should stop getting surprised by crap.

"He we are." Twilight announced as she opened the door and they entered. "Just make yourself at home."

The inside of the tree didn't look like a bad set up. Although there was just one thing. It was completely carved out to make room for everything inside.

'The hell is this thing still alive?' Church thought.

He then looked to the side and saw a purple lizard with green spikes and stomach standing on it's hind legs while sweeping the floor.

"Oh, I didn't know we were having guests." it said when it noticed their presence.

"Uh... What are you?" asked Church.

"This is Spike, he's a baby dragon. Spike, this is Epsilon." Twilight said.

"Dragon huh? Dude, that's badass."

Spike blushed. "Oh, uh... Thanks."

Church was confused. 'The hell is he blushing? Oh wait. I'm a girl in this world. Son of a bitch.'

"Epsilon is moving to ponyville and she'll be staying with us until she gets a house built." Twilight explained. "And I would greatly appreciate it if you wouldn't use that kind of language."

Church waved her off with his hoof. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'm gonna say whatever the hell I want."

"Hold on. Is she... an alicorn?" Spike asked shakily and Twilight nodded.

The dragon the started freaking out. "W-why didn't you tell me we were having an alicorn over?! I could have cleaned up some more!"

Church looked around the library, there was only like five books on the floor.

"Looks pretty clean to me." he said.


Later...

The three were upstairs in separate beds.. except Spike. He was in a dog bed. Church couldn't sleep. All he could think about were the guys, this stupid world, how to leave said world, and most importantly... Tex. Like he wasn't cursed with her memory enough, he also had to live with the fact that he let her go do she could finally rest in peace, now he basically was her.

'This is so fucking screwed up.' he thought.

Epsilon then turned to look at the clock, it was about two AM. He then made sure that both the purple unicorn and dragon were asleep before slowly pulling off the covers and quietly flying outside. Church flew about six minutes away from the town before landing on the ground.

"Okay, so these 'cutie mark' things..." Church cringed at saying what the tattoos were called. "are a special talent. Figures mine's computer coding with a sniper rifle."

Church then got an idea. Celestia's was the sun and she controlled the sun, so if his was coding... maybe he could do some AI crap. It was worth a shot. Church closed his eyes and focused on reading the star pattern. That was one thing he could do before and if it worked it might help him find out where in the galaxy he was. His horn started glowing after a few seconds passed. He was indeed able to read the star pattern and compare it to others. However they didn't match anything known.

"You have got to be kidding me. Nothing. The stars don't match. What the hell?"

Epsilon then fell to his knees, memories of Tex and her voice that was now being used as his own flooded his head.

Church raised his head to the sky and yelled: "Why universe?! Why must you hate everyone that goes by the name Church?! What the fuck did we ever do to you?!"

When he said this he spoke about himself, Alpha, the Director, and most imporantly... Allison Church.

He stood there complaining for a little while longer until he got ahold of himself and began a recording. He didn't know how long he would be stuck in this world, so if he died or some crap this may be able to find it's way to the guys somehow.

"Church's log #1: So yeah, I thought that I would sacrifice myself to save all the idiots in my life... needless to say that didn't happen. Now I'm stuck as a freakin' FEMALE horse in a world where everything is bright and happy. Oh yeah, apparently I'm a princess on top of that. Why does the universe hate me?"

Church stopped the recording and flew back to the library with his head hung in defeat.