"And then the guy says - 'that's no badgermole, that's my wife!'"

Toph roared with laughter, her fists beating on their table. It shuddered under each blow.

"Hey, careful there, you've gone and spilled your drink," Sokka laughed.

Toph reached out and swiped his own, downing it in a few gulps. Sokka pouted for a moment, before calling out for another to the barkeep.

It was brought to him swiftly, and he took a brief swig before turning to his companion.

"So, the metalbending teacher thing still going well?"

Toph burped and patted her stomach. "It's not too bad, I suppose. More people keep popping up, asking to be taught. Most of them don't have the feel for it, though."

"Never thought you'd be a Sifu. Always expected you'd run off into the wilderness and travel the world or something," said Sokka.

"Nah. We did enough travelling back in the old days. And anyway, if I was all around the world, when would I see you? We hardly ever meet up as it is."

Sokka considered this. "Yeah, true enough." He finished off the last of his beer, before standing up. "Come on, let's go do something fun."

The pair paid for the drinks before heading out of the bar.

"Okay, what kind of fun?" Toph asked when they were outside. "The at-someone's-expense kind, the illegal kind or the bedroom kind?"

Sokka contemplated for a moment. "The best kind - all three."

Toph's mouth curved into a wicked grin.

"What time is it now? Probably about eleven o'candle? And here we two pals are, drunk and in the heart of the Fire Nation. But answer me this; what else is there in this flame-spangled city?" Sokka queried.

Toph's brows furrowed above her blind eyes. "There's a big statue of Zuko somewhere," she offered.

"Aha. You're on the right lines now. What other things does our royal buddy own?"

The drink was working its way into the poor earthbender's head. She shook it for a moment, before shrugging.

Sokka took pity on her. "A palace. A palace which he is not currently occupying, having gone to visit his uncle in Ba Sing Se. And if he's not here, then his quarters are empty, are they not?"

"Maybe. Did he take Mai with him?" Toph wondered.

This was a good point. His slowly forming plan of daring, cunning and sheer obstinate stupidity would be no use if they happened to run across the cranky Fire Lady. Though the years had smoothed the animosity they'd once had, she was still not the friendliest person alive.

And Sokka was rather fond of his blood, preferring it to stay inside his body and not, for example, coating a knife.

Well, they'd cross that bridge if they came to it.

"Let's not worry about that now. Now, here's what we need to do…"


And so it was that half an hour later, Toph and Sokka were crouched in a bush outside the Royal Palace.

"Okay, so when I give the signal, you earthbend that patch of ground up to the window." Sokka ordered.

"And just what is that signal, again?" Toph questioned.

Sighing slightly, Sokka repeated a series of long and complicated hand gestures. Toph stared at him blankly.

"Oh, right. Uh. I'll just whistle then, how about that?" Sokka rubbed his neck embarrassedly.

Punching him softly on the arm, Toph nonetheless readied herself.

Sokka crept closer to the window, keeping a careful eye on the guard stationed nearby. As soon as he turned away, Sokka whistled to Toph.

The Blind Bandit shifted the ground, creating a makeshift ladder to the window out of rock and dirt. The pair made quick work of climbing up it.

Toph destroyed the lock inside with some metalbending, and the two climbed inside, the earth ladder dissolving back to the ground behind them.

Safely inside, they skulked through the shadows. Sokka held a dim lantern in front of him to light his path.

"Can you feel any guards?" Sokka whispered to Toph.

"No, I don't think so. It's fuzzy, though." Metal wasn't easy to sense through.

Still - no guards. It might be late at night, but that was bad protocol. Sokka would have to bring it up to Zuko when he next saw him.

Toph and Sokka made their way through the palace until they hit a forked path.

"Left here," said Sokka.

"Left? That takes us away from where we're going." Toph replied.

"My instincts say left. So we're going left." Sokka brooked no argument.

Toph rolled her sightless eyes, but followed him regardless. The two of them eventually hit a passage with a door at the end.

"This is it? Smaller than I thought it would be." Sokka muttered.

"Not as small as your brain." Toph laughed.

Ignoring her childish remarks, Sokka pushed open the door and froze. A couple lay in bed, wrapped around each other. Sokka recognised them as being important Fire Nation officials.

"Not that way, I guess," he whispered to Toph, closing the door quietly.

"Your instincts fail us again. We're going right this time."

Retracing their steps, they headed back to the fork, going down the other path. A huge pair of doors lay beyond it.

Sokka tried to open it up for a minute without success, before Toph shoved him out of the way and smacked it with her fist. It sprang open immediately.

Pouting at the smug grin on Toph's face, Sokka stepped inside, marvelling at the pillars.

"Is this what we came for? A chair?" Toph was not impressed.

"Not just any chair, the throne of the Fire Lord himself, sat upon by generations of Fire Nation leaders," replied Sokka.

"So, a chair. You said this was going to be fun. The best kind of fun." Toph complained.

"And I wasn't lying. We broke into the Fire Lord's Palace. That's pretty illegal."

"Fine. But what about the other two? Fun at someone's expense, and the bedroom kind."

"That's what the chair is for." Sokka grinned, pulling at her top.

Toph's face scrunched up in confusion, before her pale green eyes widened in shock and a blush spread across her face.

"You know what, that does sound pretty fun after all. I guess this wasn't a big a waste of time as I thought."

Sokka pulled off his own shirt, before taking Toph's head in his hands and kissing her softly.

Zuko never understood why he felt so uncomfortable on his own throne when he returned from Ba Sing Se, or why Toph and Sokka would laugh whenever he sat upon it.