A Flareon's Tale
Chapter 1
I was minding my damn business sleeping while I was supposed to be foraging.
Again.
I learned how to curse through those pesky midgets who would run around the forests with bug catching nests. And they'd smile and laugh and curse a lot.
I think it's because the big humans weren't around them that they said these foul things. Anyway they'd smile till they got too close to where the Beedrills where. Then they'd cry "Mommy, Mommy!" And leave all kinds of tasty food to eat if you got to the bag first.
Many humans passed through this forest. Many of them midgets but sometimes the odd adult human who represented more danger. They usually had strong Pokemon as you watched them defend themselves.
I'm an Eevee. A particularly awesome Eevee if I say so myself. Honestly I used to have a family and I used to be a really nice fucking guy. That's changed and you really don't need to know how. Seriously fuck off. So what if I'm abrasive. Blame my family.
My family. Or well what's left of it. There was 6 of us. My mother and her annoying 5 children. We were all deviants and we knew it. But damm that woman loved us. I wonder how she's doing sometimes. Then I sneer and look to my next meal. Thinking of Mother always made me hungry anyway.
But anyway back to MY important tale. So I had just gotten back to my little hidey hole. Took me a long time to pick this one out. Pesky Spearows, always so nosy about what's on the ground. Why look at the ground when you got wings?! Don't you have bird shit to do? And it was sure nice out too. What was I saying?
Oh yeah so I was in my hole nuzzling up amongst the branches and leaves that kept me so warm right next to my little stash of Oran berries. When I heard a big crash outside. So I got up and poked my head out to see who was being so rude at this ungodly hour.
Fire... Fire. ON MY PRECIOUS HIDEOUT. I mean Arceus above why does it have to be my tree of all things. It had such nice leaves that were thick and kept me warm for weeks. Well Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that I'm getting out of here.
Tina always said don't put your berries in one hidey hole and I always remembered to ignore her. Looks like I've got to get my berries.
So I ran back in my hidey hole at the base of the tree to get my berries out. Luckily I could fit 3 in my mouth at a time. I always had a big mouth.
Ty could fit 5 Oran berries at a time in his mouth but he was a weirdo we don't talk about him. So I do remember getting all my berries out of the tree only for my tree to start to fall.
Towards me…..
Nope
So I ran out of the way snagging 3 berries in my mouth as that big stupid tree smashed all the rest of my berries! I couldn't even get to the juice! But I couldn't stay here I had to get out of this rain. When did it start raining? Oh shit. That means the Pidgey are active right now.
Sure enough I hear them and their damn Pidgeotto friends flying around. Well they're not getting my berries. So I ran with my mouth stuffed hoping I wouldn't choke.
Till one of those stupid birds ran into me headfirst.
Dumb thing can't you see I'm running away from a fire! But it sure pays attention to the berries I got so I let him have it with a good ole Tail Whip. Teach him to look at my food. But his friends see me whip his ass so they fly at me looking to stand up for their pussy friend. Don't know what that means but hey it sounds intimidating.
I knew I couldn't take them all and my coat was getting all ruined in the rain. Oh it's going to take hours to get the twigs out of my beautiful brown mane but I'll survive. Food, Family, and then Cleaning just like Mother used to say.
Well I'm happy to admit I'm pretty quick and got away with only a few bruises. Now I'm tired and I'd really like to take a nap from all this running and save my ONE Oran berry for breakfast. AND I gotta find a new hidey hole.
So I sat down in the middle of the tall grass of a nearby clearing to catch my breath. I'm not ashamed to admit I almost fell asleep right there. But as I was falling asleep a really weird rock hit me in the head. Not the kind of rock like the ones from inside the water with the nasty green stuff on them. This one was crazy.
Now I'm not the smartest Pokemon in the world. But even I know what a rock looks like. I looked around quickly to see who the fuck threw it at me. There was no one around in the surrounding tree line that I could see. And I couldn't smell human anywhere close to me. As I learned in the future I was very wrong in my observations. I turned my attention back to the weird ass rock.
This one was orange. And shiny. And kinda looked like it had fire on it. What the fuck is this thing? And who the hell threw it at me? So I'm not really that proud to admit it. But I bit it. And all of a sudden all I saw was a bright light surrounding my body. And so started my life as a Flareon.
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Author's Note (8/12)
Honestly I thought this chapter needed a little patch up but I wanted to see how you guys liked it.
A shit load (in my opinion) came and read the first chapter but dunno like don't read the 2nd. 3rd. 4th. Or so on. Wtf does your computer run out of power at that moment rofl? When you wanna press next you get a heart attack or some shit? Anyway read at your pleasure but I leave the first chapter short so that the future ones open up much more expansively. This I believe is the 2nd shortest chapter of the story now. Anyway...
Thanks for reading. Honestly. I hope you get laid today. Or happily drunk. Or at least a surprise blowjob or dinner from your partner.
Peace out.
Pat
