TITLE: A Reason To Believe
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: It's graduation night - B & A - in Buffy's POV
SPOILER: The Prom, some of S3
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. If he ever decides to give them to me, that would be nice. =) 'A Reason To Believe' is by Wilson Phillips



"You didn't come just to make me happy." I said when we'd been dancing about a half hour. There was only another forty minutes of the prom left, but it was enough for me. I would've been happy with one dance with Angel. There was something about him being there though, something that didn't feel right.

"I came because....you know why." he kissed the top of my head. "Be right back." he disappeared before I could say anything.

"Great. Where'd he go? It's not like he has to pee or anything?"

"He doesn't?" Xander asked as he walked past with Anya, who was rattling on about some guy who took a bath in a tub full of daggers. "That guy is so lucky."

I waved goodbye and waited for Angel. He returned a moment later with a wrist corsage.

"Angel, you didn't have to...."

"Senior prom is supposed to be perfect." he slid it onto my wrist and then held me close as the music went from Backstreet Boys to something slow I didn't recognize right off.


//If I listened long enough to you

I'd find a way to believe

That it's all true

Knowing that you liked

Straight-faced while I cried

Still I'd look to find a reason to believe

Someone like you

Makes it hard to live without

Somebody else

Someone like you

Makes it easy to give

Never think of myself


If I gave you time to change my mind

I'd find a way

To leave the past behind

Knowing that you lied

Straight-faced while I cried

Still I'd look to find a reason to believe


If I listened long enough to you

I'd find a way to believe that it's all true


I'd find a reason

A reason to believe

And though I want you

You're just not what I need\\


We didn't speak much the rest of the night. When the prom ended, Angel disappeared into the night and I caught a ride home from Giles, with a quick stop at Dairy Queen on the way.


*****


"Angel?" I tiptoed into his mansion. "Angel? You home?" a tiny part of me was afraid he was already gone. After all, the Ascension was over, and he'd said he was leaving after the Ascension. I'd expected him to take off beforehand, but he'd been there. Walking around his empty mansion, I began to cry, wondering what I would do without him.

"Buffy," he came down the stairs and smiled at me. "What are you doing here?"

"Visiting my ex boyfriend who broke up with me for some stupid reason." 

"Buffy, we've been over this."

"And that makes it hurt tons less." I couldn't get that song from prom night out of my head. "I have so many unanswered questions."

"Like?" he asked, not coming any closer to me.

"Why?" I asked him, my eyes wet with tears. "Why did you really come to prom? Be honest with me."

"You wanted me to come. I thought you deserved--"

"One last dance. Right. I've heard it all already. Twice." I walked away from him and fingered my favorite lamp in his mansion. It had a marble shade and three black poles for its base. It was something I could see my mother liking for the gallery, just not for our house. "What are you doing with all this stuff?" I asked him. "And the mansion? What will become of it?"

"I'm donating it to charity. I suggested they turn it into a group home for abandoned children, or a woman's shelter, something like that."

"That's sweet. I doubt they'd need famous artistic artifacts to entertain the Barney set." 

"You can have the lamp Buffy."

I picked it up and hurled it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. "This isn't about the fucking lamp. It's about us." I headed for the door. "Graduation was today. The Ascension was today. It's all over. We're free. And you're running away. How long do I have? Hours? Minutes?"

"My plane leaves tomorrow at midnight."

I didn't say another word. Talking would force me to say what I was feeling and at this point I couldn't do that. Instead, I grabbed my bag and left. Maybe this would be our last night together. My heart was too frozen to care anymore.