TITLE: Swallowed
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Homecoming fic! Yea me!
SPOILER: Homecoming
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =) http://planetslaythis.homestead.com is my site
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Slayerettes and Sunnydale = Joss. Depressed, bitter, angry, depressed, bitter and angry = me Swallowed = Bush. Gavin Rossdale = HOT.



//Warm sun

Feed me up
I'm leery
Loaded up

Loathing

For a change

And I slip some

Boil away\\


The dance is in full swing. Where did that term come from? The 1920's? Because nothing is actually swinging. The Dingoes have been playing hard rock all night, mostly covers, because Oz says they've been lazy lately. I'm so afraid he can see it in my eyes. He seems to be able to tell strange things about me. Like the other night when he picked up my hand and told me I had a headache. Strange things like that.

I hope he can't tell. Xander is next to me and our legs are almost touching.

I want them to touch.

I want to touch a lot more than his leg to mine


//Swallowed

Followed

Heavy about everything but my love

Swallowed

Sorrowed

I'm with everyone and yet not

I'm with everyone and yet not

I'm with everyone and yet\\


"Do you think he knows?" I asked.

"Who knows what?" he demanded. "No one knows anything. I don't know anything. I didn't kiss anyone."

"Oh God," I sunk down in my chair. "He knows."


//Just wanted to be myself

Hey you said you would

Love to try some

Hey you said you would

Love to die some

In the middle of a world

On a fishhook

You're the wave

You're the wave

You're the wave\\ (


"What's this song about?" Xander asked.

I shrugged. "Oz loves it, I know that."

"Maybe you're 'the wave' he's talking about."

"Would that be a good thing?"


//Swallowed

Borrowed

Heavy about everything but my love

Swallowed
Hollowed

Sharp about everyone but yourself
Swallowed

Oh no

I'm with everyone and yet not

I'm with everyone and yet not

I'm with everyone and you're not

I'm with everyone and yet\\


"I love you,"

"Don't." I shake my head as though that'll make Xander go away. "Please don't. Let's just pretend it never happened and that it'll never happen again."

"If it never happened, saying it'll never happen again doesn't make sense."

"Huh?"

"You think I don't pay attention in English class?"

I gave him a Look.

"Okay, so I don't, but Cordelia does and she told me that sentences need to make sense."

"Duh."

He reached over and touched my cheek but I jumped out of the chair.

"You can't just do that. Oz! He's right up there!"

"Oz is in the groove," he pointed. "Just spend five minutes with me in the hall."

"What if Cordelia and Buffy come in?"

"They'll have to wait until I'm done kissing you."

//Piss on

Self esteem

Move forward

Busted knee
Sick head

Blackened lungs

And I'm a simple

Selfish son\\


"So?" he asked. "Yes, no, what?"

I sighed. I looked at Oz, all in his music, and at Xander, all gorgeous in his tux.

Suddenly, I felt like the room was closing in on me.


//Got to get away from here

Got to get away from here

Got to get away from here

Got to get away from here\\


"Let's go," I pull him out into the hall, and I kiss him. And even though I love Xander, I love Oz. Something's missing when I'm with each of them, and I still don't know what it is.

//Miss the one that I love a lot

I miss the one that I love a lot

I miss the one that I love a lot\\


We go back into the dance and Oz is still playing. He smiles at me and I wave. Then he goes back to his music and I go back to trying to find out what's missing.