A/N This story is dedicated to Ferret w/ a fez, who reviewed ALL my stories

A/N This story is dedicated to Ferret w/ a fez, who reviewed ALL my stories.

WHAT USED TO BE

Chapter one – Arrivals, Badges and Lost Loves

It was another usual seventh year. Not so usual, depending on the point of view. For Dumbledore, it was his first year as Headmaster, even though he had been at Hogwarts for many years as a teacher. The prom they were going to have at the end of the year would be new from his new Headmaster's point of view, but as a teacher there at Hogwarts, it would be just one more prom.

For Minerva McGonagall, an obstinate not-so-young lady, who was going to replace Dumbledore in Transfiguration class, everything was new. Of course, she had studied there for seven years, but even though that, she had been in only one prom, her own. After all, being in a prom ball as a teacher MUST be totally different from being there as a student.

There was also a new teacher there. He was Minerva's acquaintance, after all, they had studied together for long seven years, and she had been in love with him all along this time. His name was Thomas. But everybody used to call him Tom. Tom Marvolo Riddle. He was going to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, replacing Quintus Moody, who had died very mysteriously of a still unknown curse.

Rubeus Hagrid didn't like that man, Tom Riddle. Because of him, he couldn't be a wizard. But Rubeus Hagrid wasn't the kind of man who kept rancor with him. He used just to forget the things. Time had passed and there wasn't why to remember those things. Even when it destroyed your dream. But, after all, Tom Riddle, as long with the other people except for Dumbledore, must have thought that hem Hagrid, had been the Slytherin's descendant. It wasn't his fault, after all.

**

The Sorting Ceremony, was, as always, unique. Even Lily Evans and Lucia Rossini, who were more than used to that antique ceremony, liked it. It wasn't ever the same, it was always different, the people were always different, and so was the music and the ornamentation. Everybody liked it.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Petter Pettigrew weren't used to that ceremony, because they were always in some kind of confusion. They were the infamous marauders, who were always pulling pranks on everybody. They had been present only to their own sorting, but the other five they had passed doing something else.

The year before, they had passed the entire Sorting Ceremony at the Forbidden Forest. Nobody knew what they were doing, but in the middle of the Sorting, a big monster entered the Great Hall. Nobody could proof it, but everybody knew it was another Marauder's mischief. They, of course, denied, with their peculiar mischievous "of course not, why would I do it?".

Konstanze Angelkort had been absent at only one Sorting. In the fifth year. She had been with James Potter. She were his momentary girlfriend then. She was his most frequent momentary girlfriend. They had never had a serious relationship, even though she used to think so.

Patricia Wilson was present at five ceremonies, except the same Konstanze had been absent. Patricia was Sirius's girlfriend then. But not momentary. They had a kind of serious relationship, but broke up three months after that sorting.

As I told you before, Lily Evans and Lucia Rossini were the only Gryffindor's seventh year students that year who had been present in all the Sorting Ceremonies. Lily was very responsible, after all she was prefect ever since her fifth year, thus, was now Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She felt honored, especially because she was a muggle-born witch,  and even though having learnt all she knew about magic at school, not learning anything about it at home, she was chose between all the other seventh year girls from all other houses to that duty.

Lucia Rossini, as Lily's best friend since their first year, felt honored too. Lucia had a little sister, named Paola, who was entering her fifth year. They had Italian ancestry.

Lucia had high Divination skills (even though her favourite subject was Muggle Studies), and it sometimes was bad for her, because she didn't trust easily, and in the other side of the coin, she knew who she could be friends with without fearing to be hurt. So she was friends with Lily, the Marauders, Emma Quinn and with a boy who was in his sixth year, Frank Longbottom.

Against the expectative, of having the very responsible Severus Snape, from Slytherin house, as Head Boy, and for everybody's surprise, this year's Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Head Boy was the infamous James Potter.

Nobody could exactly say why. James Potter was in fact a popular guy, and nobody could deny it. He was also an excellent Quidditch chaser and captain, very clever, handsome and rich, but in the other hand, he had countless detentions in all his school life (and proud of it), had countless girlfriends… why the hell would Dumbledore and the teachers choose him for this duty?

They all would understand in the end of this school year that Hogwarts staff had chosen him to be Head Boy exactly to increase his responsibility. His cleverness, of course helped, and also his popularity, then he would be able to talk to every students.

Sirius Black, James Potter's best friend himself - even him – didn't know that James would be Head Boy. It seemed that James preferred to keep it to himself, just for the pleasure of seeing his best friend's rare astonished face.

As Head Boy, James had to be present in this Sorting, and so he had been.

**

The Great Hall was once again ready to the Sorting. The oldest students were starting to arrive. The beginning students would come only after some time.

Lily and Lucia arrived there. They both looked amazed, because the Great Hall wasn't ornamented soberly, Professor Dippet's, the last Headmaster, style. It seemed somehow more happy, and at the same time a bit more obscure, but it had nothing to do with the ornamentation, but with a strange air of novelty that seemed agreeable and at the same time, terrifying.

The girls sat at Gryffindor's table, and Lily was displaying since then, her new Head Girl Badge. She was all happy about it.

For her surprise, some minutes late, the Marauders entered the Great Hall. "Lucia," she asked her friend "What are they doing here? Aren't they always absent to the Sorting?"

"Well, Lily" said Lucia "I would say that they have something important to do… or to show."

"Oh, no!" cried Lily "Are they wanting to ruin my being HeadGirl?"

"Oh, no, of course not, Lily" said Lucia "They are going to behave well. Trust me."

"You and your Trelawneyish tone of voice." Complained Lily. Lucia just smiled.

As it happened, James, who had stopped his walking to talk with Lucia's sister, who pretended not to be, but was his biggest fan, sat opposite to Lily. "Hello, Lily".

"Hi, James." Greeted Lily.

Finally, the beginning students arrived, and they were sorted into their houses. Just after it, Dumbledore stood up and started to say "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I know neither of you are used to me in this duty, since this is my first year as Headmaster. Our dearest Charles Dippet left us for a little retirement in his last years of life, and here I am, leaving my Transfiguration class duty, subject which I had taught for almost eighty years, to be Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's Headmaster." Everybody clapped "First of all, I'd like to greet the new students, who still don't know what are going to come, hard studying days, but many happiness, and the seventh year students, who are going to leave us soon, but will have a whole schooldays to tell their children. Welcome to Hogwarts!" everybody clapped again "Now, I'd like to introduce you, your new Transfiguration Teacher, Miss Minerva McGonagall." People clapped again "I won't like to tell you the bad news, but somebody has to do it. Our beloved Quintus Moody, Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher died this summer." There was a whining sound as Dumbledore told the news. The staff already knew this sad happening, but not all the students knew it. "Now, I'd like to ask you all, a minute of silence for him." And this question was prompted accomplished, as almost all the students loved Moody, and those who didn't like him, had for him at least some respect. "In my humble opinion, nobody can be replaced, and I'd like to leave it clear that Quintus Moody will never ever be replaced. But Defense Against the Dark Arts class has to have now another teacher. There will be another person occupying his duty, but never his place in our hearts. I'd like to introduce you Professor Thomas Marvolo Riddle. From now on, your DADA teacher will be him." Everybody clapped, but with only a little enthusiasm.

Lily, who was until now all happy for her Head Girl Badge, felt some fresh tears running across her cheek. She already knew Professor Moody's death, since she used to read The Daily Prophet every day, but it still hurt very much.

"Oh! And before I could forget, please, come here Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, the newest Head Girl and Boy from our school."

The astonishment of James being Head Boy was huge, but as every girl in that school loved him, and as almost all the boys liked him as the great promise for British's Quidditch team, everybody clapped with enthusiasm. And they also clapped for Lily, even though she wasn't much  popular.

Severus Snape couldn't pretend he wasn't hurt. After all, he had been a very good student all along his school career. He had never in his whole life had been in Detention. In his mind, it wasn't fair James being Head Boy instead of him. But what could he do?

**

It was nice to see the common room again, at least for Lily. She liked home because of her parents, but in the other hand, there was Petunia, who had been a bitch for her ever since the very day Hogwarts's invitation letter arrived, six years ago.

Lily was very used to fights and didn't like it. She still loved her sister, but a relationship between them was fairly difficult. Everyday life was intolerable living with Petunia.

On the contrary, Hogwarts, especially Gryffindor's common room always had been her home, and she had great remembrances about it. The happiest memories of her whole life.

 She had been a week at Lucia's home. How was it different from her own! It was a warm home, Lucia's parents, Amadeo and Mary Ann Rossini (her mother wasn't Italian like her father) were very pleasant people, and even her sister, Paola, who had always been kind of insipid, had made her best to be nice. Lily had had a good time there. After this week, they all, including her, traveled to Italy to visit Lucia's family in her father side. Her grandmamma, Genoveva, and her grandfather, Tadeo, had an audible Italian accent, which was quite funny for Lily. That was the best part of her vacation.

Then she had to come back home, and look to Petunia every single day, every single hour. It was quite terrible.

So, coming back to Hogwarts was a very pleasant experience. Hogwarts was her home, and now, as Head Girl, she would feel even more acquainted to the place, because finally she had an duty there that no one had at the present moment.

"Happy, Lily?" asked a voice behind her shoulder.

She immediately recognized James's voice. "Yeah" she said, "And you?"

"Well, I won't deny I myself am even now a bit astonished about they choosing me to be Head Boy. But I can't deny I'm happy either. Even because I knew Slimy wanted…" as he said it, Lily glanced at him with reproachful eyes "I'm sorry. I always forget he's your friend. It's quite difficult to accept it."

"Why?"

"Because you're a Gryffindor, Lily. Not that all the Slytherins are bad people. But Snape always have been one. You can't see it because you're his friend. But he's not what you think he is."

Lily crossed her arms and asked "And what do I think he is?"

"It's not so easy to tell, even because I can't say exactly the way you feel about him, but you think he's a sensible guy, who's just kinda shy, and then, to hide it, he tries to be harsh towards strange people. Like me or Sirius."

Lily was really angry as James said it. It was almost exactly what she thought about Severus, but the way James's expressed it made all her friendship towards Severus look like something banal. After all, if Severus was harsh to him or to Sirius, it was because they liked to tease him. "Look, James, I know you really don't like Severus. But it's kinda hypocrite for you to say he's harsh to you or worse, to Sirius. Have you ever realized how do you and your friends like to tease him? You're always pulling pranks on him, always making him feel ridiculous. And you, James Potter? Don't you think you are harmful to him?"

James looked at Lily with his usual expression of calmness. It's strange how people acts calm when they are really nervous. "Lily, Snape deserves all we do for him. I agree with you that I and my friends, our friends, are sometimes harmful to him, but…"

Lily cut him off. "Sometimes?!"

"Okay, almost always."

"And why, James?"

Very energetically, James said "Because he struts, because he's a Slytherin, because he…"

"Halt! Severus never goes around showing his excellent grades. It doesn't interest him. He isn't even popular to strut!"

"It's the most revolting thing. He doesn't do nothing exceptional and struts."

Lily glanced at James with reproachful eyes.

"Okay, I know I strut, not him. But I'm trying to change." he said

"Really?" asked Lily in a suspicious tone of voice.

"I'm doing my best, Lily. I assure you." Was his answer.

"But, come on… why do you hate Severus so much?" she asked in a mix of curiosity and outrage.

James bent his head, and said very quietly "Because he took you from me. You left me for him."

Lily seemed very indignant at those words. "James! You know very well I've never dated Severus."

James glanced at her seriously. "But he always wanted you in a not very friendship like way. I always knew it."

"Severus and I are friends since our first year." She said incredibly calmly.

"You were his friend since then. He always looked at you as if he could take off your clothes with a glance."

"Stop it, James!"

"Sorry."

"After all, I didn't break up with you because of Severus." She said quietly.

James looked into her eyes, and asked "So why did you do that?"

"Oh, no!" cried Lily "How many times do you want me to tell it all over again? We had our chance, James. And it didn't work! We weren't meant to be."

James said very angrily "You didn't tell me why did you break up with me. You just told me to grow up."

"And I still suggest for you to grow up."

"For Heaven's sake, Lily! Do you think that if I weren't more mature now  than I used to be, I would talk to you so clearly about my feelings? Do you think I wouldn't just go around with a girl a day? Even about Snape. I saved him last year. He could have been killed, but because of you, I saved him!"

"THAT is why I still don't believe you grew up. You do the things wanting a reward. You saved Severus expecting me to come back to you."

"Why do you have always an ill opinion of me?"

"I have a much better opinion of you than I really had to have." She said coolly "And you have already told me you saved Severus only thinking of the reward."

James seemed even more angry "Has Snape ever told you why he was there at the Shrieking Shack?"

"Well, he was… he was… what was he doing there?"

"I admit it was another of Sirius's pranks, but this was a dangerous one, you know. Sirius made him go there, making him believe going there he could discover something about… about, you know, our Animagus stuff… and have proofs about it, and make us be expelled from Hogwarts…"

"James, listen to me. Your Animagus stuff is dangerous. Maybe Severus was thinking about your own safety."

This time, James burst into nervous laughter. "What? Snape caring about me? Did you drink much butterbeer?"

Lily frowned. "You don't know Severus."

"Wrong answer, Lily. YOU don't know him. I know Snape really well"

"Okay, let's suppose you were right. Even if Severus went there just to make you be expelled, you are still wrong playing to become an animal. If the Ministry discovers it…"

James seemed not to believe what he had already heard. "Playing? Do you think we just go there to play zoo?"

Lily glanced at him seriously. "Well, you never told me the real reason you were always going there…"

James looked at her in disbelief and said, very disappointed "Yeah, you're right. We love to play zoo." And walked upstairs to the boy's dormitory.

Lily watched him go away, and sat down heavily on the love seat. Something totally out of sense occurred to her. It used to be their love seat. Hers and James's.

She immediately shook her head and tried to think about something less disturbing.

**

Emma Quinn was a very clever fifth year girl who was always with Lily and Lucia. Even their two years difference of age wasn't an impediment to their friendship.

Of course, it wasn't because of the age difference, just because of they could never do school works in group together, never studied for tests together, but concerning to talking and walking around, they were inseparable.

Of course, there was also Severus Snape, who neither Emma or Lucia liked very much. Then, Lily had to spend half of her free time with her best female friends, and the other half, with her best male friend.

Paola Rossini, Lucia's young sister, who was in the same year as Emma, used to be jealous of her. After all, about Lucia befriending Lily, it was okay, because Lily was Lucia's age, but, a girl of her age being more friends with her sister than she herself was disturbing. She loved Lucia, but in her own way.

She was friends with Emma too, but as Emma was much more mature than she and most of the fifth year girls, acquaintanceship was kind of hard.

Just after the Sorting, when everybody arrived the common room, Paola watched as James approached Lily in a way she would wish he approached her. She couldn't listen, but the way she could feel he talking to her was so intensely passionate that even knowing Lily and James were a couple a long time ago, and weren't anymore, she felt jealous. Even knowing that for James, she wasn't anything more than a fifth year child.

A smile played on her lips as she saw him running upstairs, and, at the same time, she felt herself upset because he was sad.

It was love.

But just after James entered his dormitory, Paola felt a hand touching her shoulder. "Paola. What's the matter?"

She turned around. It was Emma, meddler, as ever. "Nothing."

"And for nothing, you were snooping James and Lily."

Paola felt a urge to tell Emma it was none of her business whether she snooped James or not, but as she didn't want anybody to know her feelings, she just said "Well, I think they are meant to be. It's a pity Lily dumped him. I would be glad seeing their marriage." She said in a very firm tone of voice, even though it hurt too much saying something like this, that even Emma with all her cleverness and maturity, couldn't doubt. But she did. Smart kid, Emma was. "Paola, seriously. We've slept in the same room for five years now. Your sister is my best friend" as she said it, Paola felt butterflies in her stomach "Why don't you tell me what's really going on? I mean, if you're in love with James or something like that…"

"NO!" Paola almost shouted "James is like a brother for me…. A big brother."

Emma giggled. "Paola, my dear, I understand you don't want to tell me what's going on, but seriously, this big brother thing is soooo antique. I mean, you and James aren't even friends. How can you say he's a brother for you?"

"Well… I know he probably doesn't even know my name, yet I like him. I mean, I admire the way he's nice to everybody, I admire the pranks he pulls on the Slytherins. I admire his grades. I'm nothing more than his admirer."

Emma smiled from ear to ear and sighed. "Oh, dear! You're in love. But if you fear Lily, that's not a problem, since Lily herself was who broke up with him."

Paola felt blood flowing to her face. She was blushing, and now, she had to admit her love to a girl she didn't even like! Yes, Emma Quinn, the girl she had hated for five years for stealing her sister was now her confident! Maybe she could become a friend…

Paola bent her head and started talking "You're right. I'm in love with him." Then she raised her head to see Emma's expression. It was blank, but a smile played on her lips. Paola went on "Since ever. Since the very day I saw him. I knew he was the one for me… I mean, I always knew he was the one for me, yet I think I'm not the one for him." A tear rolled her cheek.

She could have expected any answer from Emma, save the one she indeed gave "I'll help you, Paola."

"You… you… will you help me?" Paola stuttered. "Aren't you Lily's friend?"

"Yeah, I am." Said Emma "Still, I'm going to help you, even because I think James's happiness will make Lily happy too. I mean, at least from what Lily says, she isn't in love with him anymore, yet, he's still head over heels for her. And as Lily like him, in a friendly way, of couse, she doesn't' seem to like seeing him that way. Anyway, I also think James needs a new girlfriend, and…"

"Well, but he can have any girl he wants!"

"Very true." Agreed Emma "But still, half of the girls of this school doesn't fit him. He needs somebody who gives him support. He needs somebody who loves James Potter himself, not the skilled Quidditch Player or the clever Head Boy, or the mischievous prankster or anything he is. I know you admire all his skills, yet, as a good observer, I know you don't love only this about him."

Paola nodded, and even doesn't knowing what to think or what to trust, she trusted. She needed it.

**

James's bag fell heavily on his bed. He was rejected again. It hurt so much. It hurt his heart, it hurt his self-pride, it hurt his hopes. The pain was almost physical.

Sirius, who was already lying down, stood up, and sat down. "What did happen, Pot Head?"

James turned his head to Sirius. "Nothing."  He said very quietly.

"Okay, Prongs. You don't need to say anything. It was Lily again, right?"

"Yeah."

"Prongs, listen to me. There are about five hundred girls in this school, and all of them are head over heels for you, you know that!"

"Correction, Padfoot. Lily hates me."

"Okay, so there are four hundred and ninety nine girls head over heels for you."

James smiled weakly.

"Come on, Prongs! Let's come back to our libertine life! A girl a day makes heartbreak away!"

James shook his head, and laughed quietly.

"For Heaven's sake, Prongs! In June, Rita Skeeter asked me if you had changed your team."

"Huh?"

"If you had started listening to Barbra Streisand…  dancing Macho Man… crying in sappy romantic muggle movies… those things…"

James rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Potsie!"

"Oh, no! Potsie, no! If you keep calling me Potsie, Rita Skeeter will think you dance Macho Man with me." Said James in a playful voice

Sirius threw a pillow at him.

"But, coming back to the subject," said James in a very serious tone "Lily left me exactly because of my being inconsequent."

"She's so…square!" complained Sirius "But she has a breast that…"

And this time, James threw the pillow playfully at Sirius.

"Welcome to Earth, Jealous Prongs!"

James laughed.

"And as for Lily hating you, I don't agree," said Sirius seriously "I mean, even breaking up with you, she had always been so attentive about what put concerns you, always so friendly…"

"But I don't want her friendship, at least not only this."

"Well, but then, she doesn't want you as a boyfriend either."

"Thanks for reminding me, Padfoot."

"So, you saved Slimy, and even though that, she doesn't think you're mature enough?"

"Nope. She said I just saved him because of her. And it's kinda true, though not totally. I mean, what you and Moony were planning to do to him was too much for my taste."

"Maybe. I mean, Slimy Snake deserved that, but we could have been expelled. It was a good thing you stopped us."

"Padfoot! He could have been killed!"

"I know. But he's so snoopy…"

"Well, past is past. Let's forget it."

"But then, Lily's wanting too much. I think you should forget her and search another girl."

"If it was so easy as you make it seem, Padfoot, don't you think I would have done it a long time ago?"

"Maybe you like to suffer." Sirius said seriously. "I always advised you that being so much involved with a girlfriend can be dangerous, but you didn't listen to me!"

"It's not dangerous if you don't like the girl. Anyway, I would have been involved with Lily even if we never dated."

Sirius made a face "Have you realized we're having girls talking now? About love, that's just so square. Let's change the subject!"

James just shrugged.

**

To be continued...

**

A/N- Well, I hope nobody has ever done this ex boy/girlfriend relationship between Lily and James, I really wanted to write something original. I would be very glad if you wrote anything about this story: comments, constructive criticism, flames, praises, whatever. Your opinion is much important to me, so, you can e-mail me or write a review in this nice box below this text. If you e-mail me and write a review, I'll be glad forever. Anyway, if you read this chapter through the end, I'm already able to call you god or goddess. I have this story's whole plot in my head, I just need to work in it, but I'll let the readers decide the end. If you're wondering if Lily still love James or not, the next chapter may help you.

I don't know when I'm going to post the next chapter, but I have something written until now for it.

I'd like also to leave a note to Potter vs. Evans readers: I didn't give up writing, the next chapter will be up as soon as possible.

Again, thanks to Shanleigh Kennedy for her patience and good will for spending her time correcting this story. Her pen name is Polgara La Fae and you can visit her profile page to read her stories going to http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=Directory-AuthorProfile&UserID=44726 , she has great stories!

Love,

J The Girl Who Lives J

PS.: This story's title was an idea from Shanleigh