A/N I got this idea the other day; what if i made a bunch of storys about Roy and other members of the miliery? So this is what happened. Enjoy
The Talk
Ed and Al were walking though the halls of central, and Ed was fuming about giving another (in his opinion) pointless report of his progress on the philosopher's stone, and Ed had gone to his last resort; mocking.
"Hey bean, you forgot to capitalize the beginning of this sentence!" Ed mocked in a deep voice.
"Brother, I doubt he would be as mean as that-"
"Yes he is that mean! I hate that knit-picking colonel..."
They arrived at the office and Ed kicked the door open.
"COLONEL BASTARD!" Ed shouted in the general direction of Roy's office.
"No shouting!" Riza told him.
"Whatever," he said. Ed walked into Roy's office and as he was about to slam the report that was in his hands onto the desk, but he stopped when he saw Roy examining his personnel records.
"May I ask why the hell you are examining my records?"
"Well, I haven't seen you in a while so I decided that would take a glance at your records. I look at the personnel records of people under my command every once in a while."
"But why do you have that look on your face?" Ed asked.
"Well there are several reasons but I have found that you've had an interesting past-"
"What of it?" Ed said, getting angry about people talking (or reading) about his past.
"Since your mother died when you where young it's hard to believe that you had 'the talk'. As a result, it falls into the responsibility of your commander to" he sighed, "give you 'the talk'"
"You-" Ed said in shock..
"What about me?"
"What gives you the right to assume that?" his face was getting very red.
"Well-"
"You think that with my numerous years of traveling, I haven't had one girl friend?" Ed started shouting, "You think that I'm still a virgin, at seventeen?"
"Well, no one explained-"
"I can read, can't I?"
"Well, yes."
"So? Even if it was only Winry who told me, and not my mom, I think that i don't need 'the talk' from you!" Ed stormed out of the office.
"Brother! Wait up! I'm sorry about big brother." He said then chased after him.
Riza walked into his office and sighed.
"Why did you say all that stuff to him, and suggest giving him 'the talk'? It said on his file that he already had ''the talk.'" Riza said.
"Well, a part from entertainment, I wanted to see him squirm." Riza fired three threatening shots over his head.
"What have i told you about teasing Ed?"
"You only said not to call him short!"
Next Day...
Roy walked into the office 6 minuets late, as always, but something was amiss...
Okay, Furey's here Breeda, Havoc, Falmin, Hawkeye- no, she isn't here yet?
"Havoc, where's second lieutenant Hawkeye?"
"Not here."
"I can tell that, I didn't ask where she isn't I asked-" he was interrupted by said Lieutenant entering the office, with a smile on her face.
"You're late!"
"I apologize for my lateness sir."
"But, you're never late!"
She shrugged, and went to drop off the paper work at the appropriate in boxes, with that same smile. She finished that just as a certain blond haired alchemist skipped into the office.
"Fullmetal, not you to..." Roy muttered under his breath.
Ed skipped over to Riza and she bent down and he gave her a kiss on the cheek!
"I loved our date last night!" Riza said to Ed, putting Roy into a state of shock, while the other people in the room concentrated on their paperwork trying not to laugh.
"Ed-" Roy said, "You-" he then pointed to Riza who just kissed Ed on the head.
"Yes?" Riza said.
"YOU'RE DATING???" with that he sat down to prevent fainting. He grabbed a glass of water and started to drink.
"Who do you think really taught him about sex?" she asked. Roy spit out his water.
Every one in the whole office couldn't take it anymore and they all started laughing.
"APRIL FOOLS!" They all say.
Review! (I might write some more if i get a review or two...)
