Old MacDonald
A/N: Ok so this idea has been running around in my head for a while now so I'm just putting it up here and hope the plot bunny's will leave me alone.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Hillary.
To say that Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were stumped was an understatement, Sideswipe sat on his berth as Sunstreaker paced back and forth trying to come up with a new prank, they could paint Ironhides cannons pink or take Ratchet tools and hide them but they had done that so many times before it was starting to get old, they needed something new.
"Why not throw paint booms in the med bay," Sideswipe suggested.
"No we did that last month, we need something new something that they won't suspect."
"Hum, hey why don't we ask the humans for help, one of them might have a good idea?"
"Ya but Sam and Mikaela are off base with Bee and Hillary is probably with Jazz," Sunstreaker replied flopping down on his berth as Sideswipe grinned.
"Nope, Jazz is off on a mission today so Hills is probably just sitting around somewhere bored out of her mind," Sunstreaker gave an identical grin as both twins headed for the door.
"Well then its only right that we go and help brighten her day, right Sides?"
"Right Sunny."
"Don't call me Sunny."
Sideswipe chuckled as they headed for the rec room, finding the human they were looking for with her back to them on her phone laughing. Both twins looked at each other shrugging deciding to listen in.
"Whatever you say girl I still say the other idea was better and it wouldn't have made such a mess...I know but did you see their faces it was absolutely priceless! and the bubbles where everywhere...ya ok but next year our prank has to top this year's...ok talk to ya latter bye," She laughed hanging up, as she turned around to see the grinning faces of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.
"Hey guys what's up?" She warily asked, raising an eyebrow as Sideswipe offered his hand to her.
"Nothing much, just got a little favour to ask of ya," Sunstreaker said, as they started walking down the hall to the twins' room so they wouldn't be heard.
"And what would that be?" She asked tilting her head to the side as she sat cross legged in Sideswipe's hand.
"We need an idea for a new prank, something that we haven't done before," Sideswipe said as they entered the twins' room and set her down on the table as she crossed her arms.
"What makes you two think I can help?"
"Well you were taking about a prank with your friend on the phone," Sunstreaker stated, receiving a slight frown from Hillary.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you it rude to listen to other people on the phone?"
"Maybe but that's not gona stop us," Sunstreaker replied receiving a smack up the head from Sideswipe.
"Watch the paint!"
"Ignore him, but we really could use some help with this, we need to do something we have never done before and were wondering if you had any ideas," Sideswipe explained.
"Ya so why don't ya tell us what you did and what you mean by next year, why are you going to wait a whole year to do a prank?" Sunstreaker asked, causing Hillary to smirk rolling her eyes.
"It's a tradition we have at my school, on the last day of school before summer each year has to pull a big prank, that's what I was talking about we need to do something bigger next year since it's our final year," Hillary explained. Both twins nodded in understanding,
"So what did you do this year that caused such a mess?"
"And more importantly can we do it?" Sideswipe finished for his twin, Hillary frowned slightly.
"I'm not sure if you can, what we did was went into all of the toilets in the school and filled them with washing up liquid, then flushed all of them at the same time, the school was a complete mess," she laughed at the last part remembering the look on the principals face as when she came out of her office to the hall covered in bubbles.
The twins where thoughtful trying to find a way to use this prank on the other Autobots, but sadly for them they couldn't come up with a full proof plan. Hillary frowned when she saw the dejected looks on their faces after a moment, she then smirked as a thought struck her remembering her conversation on the phone.
"You know boys there is another prank, one you can do and I'm sure you haven't done this before," her smirk grew as mischief sparkled in her eyes as there's stated to glow with anticipation.
"But there is a certain requirement for this."
"Well what is it?" Sideswipe asked.
"Cow's," Hillary replied simply, and started laughing at the looks on their faceplates, when she had finished explaining the prank the twins where smiling from ear to ear (well they would if they had ear's.) No one took any notice of the of the fact that the twins and Hillary had disappeared for the rest of the day or spotted the trailer that the twins had hidden in one of the secluded warehouses, or the fact that Hillary was sneaking around with a wheel barrel of hay and a tin of spray paint.
The next day most of the bots and humans where in the rec room just hanging out none noticing anything out of the ordinary, except for Jazz who was starting to wonder if he should have Ratchet take a look at his charge, who was trying and failing miserably to keep a smile off her face. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him all they doing was listening to some new tunes that he had downloaded and everyone else was just relaxing watching TV, playing video games or just sitting around talking. Finally he decided to confront the girl sitting on his shoulder.
"Hey, Hills ya alright?"
All she could do was nod in response afraid she might blow her cover.
"Ya sure? Ya know I like to see ya happy an all but this is a bit creepy," He admitted, as she took a breath.
"Well would you rather I was crying?"
"No!" He replied causing her to laugh.
"Sorry Jazzy but I'm just happy is all."
"Ya sur' I don't need ta get Hatchet?" He asked, but before she could replied a strange noise could be heard outside the door gaining everyone's attention. Hillary bit back a smile as she forced herself to look as confused as everyone else as Optimus opened the door, revelling a blocky black and white cow staring up at him with big dark eyes.
"What the slag?" Ironhide said as they all walked over.
"What is a cow doing here?" Sam asked from Bee's shoulder as Lennox came forward raising an eyebrow.
"1? What does that mean?" He asked reading the red spray paint off the side of the cow, Jazz glanced at his charge who shrugged innocently.
"I'm not sure but it can't stay here," Prime said as he gently picked her up and putting her outside, as everyone else looked around confused at what was going on until they heard another noise down the hall. Once they arrived there Ironhide let out a growl as he spotted another cow this time with the number two on its side, this one was also placed outside with its companion.
"Why the pit are these things in the base? And what is with the numbers? This is a military base not a farm yard!" Ironhide yelled gaining some odd looks, Prime shook his head about to say something but was cut off by the ruthless screams of cybertronian curses coming from the med bay. Now Hillary was honestly confused this was not a part of the plan.
Everyone froze when they looked in the med bay to see an infuriated red opticed Ratchet chasing a cow around the med bay with a wrench in his hand trying to avoid stepping in the piles of cow dung that littered the floor. Ok this was not a part of the plan at all, but it certainly made it more interesting. Once Ratchet was under control by Ironhide and Optimus, and Jazz was holding the frightened cow which Hillary was trying to calm down did the real fun begin.
Jazz looked down at the cow in his hand his visor getting slightly brighter for a second as he looked up.
"Um boss bot we got a bit of a problem," he said gaining everyone attention.
"What is it Jazz?" The Prime asked.
"Th' number on this cow." He turned it to the others who all responded as he did... well almost all.
"11! You saying there are eight more of those pit slagging things around the base!" Both Ironhide and Ratchet yelled simultaneously which was pretty creepy.
Hillary smiled evilly as Prime told everyone to split up and search
~Three hours later.
Hillary decided she had better tell Jazz truth before he started to get really pissed like the others, who could be heard in the distance slamming crates one the floor and cursing ( three guesses who ) as they looked for the numbers 3-10 cows.
"Um Jazz you promise not to kill me or tell the others?" She asked sweetly as her guardian looked down at her,
"Ya gona tell me this was some kind of prank you and th' twins set up while I was gone?" She laughed.
"How did you guess?"
"Th' smile that wouldn't leave your face that clearly said 'im-up-ta-no-good', th' fact that ya where with th' twins when I got back and th' pieces of hay that where in ya hair yesterday," he summarized crossing his arms as she smiled sheepishly.
"In my defence I did not know about the med bay," she said causing him to laugh.
"So you're not gona tell the others?" She asked.
"Nah let em figure it out, but are there any more of those things around th' base?" He asked.
"No just the three, how long do you think it will take for them to figure it out?" Hillary asked as Jazz placed her back on his shoulder heading towards the rec room.
"I'd give it a couple more hours," he said laughing then added. "By th' way ya not allowed ta hang out with either set of twins unsupervised."
"Aww but Jaazzzy," she mock wined.
"No buts there a bad influence on ya."
"Hum just 'because they know how to have fun," she muttered crossing her arms causing Jazz to stop mid stride.
"Hey! What's that supposed ta mean?"
"Nothing I'm just saying they let go more than you do."
"Ya sayin I'm dull?"
"No Jazzy of course not you know I love you."
He only huffed in response.
~Twelve hours later
They had finally figured it out, Hillary and Jazz where sitting on the couch as Ironhide dragged in the twins, as they stood up trying to make excuses, Sideswipe decided to turn to Hillary.
"Hey Hills a little back up here?" He asked she only shook her head.
"You guys should have split while everyone was looking for the cows," she replied as Sunstreaker scolded at her.
"Hey it was your idea!" Sunny said, causing Hillary face palmed as Ironhide took two strides over glaring down at her.
"Nice going there Sunshine," She muttered glaring at the yellow mech.
"Don't call me Sunshine!" He snapped.
"You had something to do with this girl?" Ironhide growled, she smiled sheepishly.
"A little help here Jazzy," she muttered taking a sideways glance at her guardian who only smirked.
"Ya should have split while everyone was looking for th' cows," he mimicked, as she growled at him.
"Traitor! and you're not still pissy about that are you? Come on man I was only kidding," she said as Jazz huffed.
"Ya still should have told me about th' prank."
"I did tell you!"
"After it was done ya should have told me th' minute I got back," Jazz replied, crossing his arms over his chest as Hillary through her hands up in exasperation.
"When did you turn into my wife?"
Jazz growled about to replied but was cut off as Ironhide plucked Hillary off the armrest of the couch.
"So you did have something to do with this," he growled walking over to the twins, all Hillary did was laugh nervously as Ratchet glared menacingly at her and the twins.
"Why did you have to put one in the med bay?" She whisper asked, feeling like she was shrinking under the CMO intense glare.
"You said leave them in the base, the med bay is part of the base."
"I said to leave them in the hall way! The hall way!" She snapped, quickly shutting up as Ratchet started chewing them out and Prowl deciding on a punishment. After twenty minutes of it everything that came out of CMO mouth started to sound the same, all she really remembered was him saying something about 'old MacDonald'. Hillary thought she might fall asleep at least until she heard a girlish scream from down the hall.
Everyone took off running towards the human section of the base only to stop outside the rest room door. They could all see a large mass of suds and bubbles leaking out the door getting bigger and bigger, with Sam sitting on the ground rubbing his head, Hillary growled glaring at the twins.
"Twins please tell me this wasn't you're doing," she pleaded, looking away from the familiar sight to the twins who raised their hands in defence.
"Don't look at us," they said in unison causing Hillary to let out a sigh of relief.
"Good then I can't get blamed for this."
"Actually ya can," everyone looked down at a grinning Epps who just spoke who was standing beside a grinning Lennox.
"Epps? Uncle Will? What are you two on about?" She asked nervously as her uncle lazily draped an arm over her shoulder.
"Well Hillary, since you're in my care any problems at your school get sent to me."
"Ow no," she whined rolling her eyes looking helplessly at her grinning uncle.
"Ow yes, and when I heard about your little prank and told Epps we just had to try it out," he said, still showing a big toothy grin, she sighed having a fare idea of where this was heading.
"How long?" she asked ready to kiss her freedom goodbye.
"Well I was going to let you off with a warning, but since you went and helped the twins with a prank that wasted fifteen hours of everyone's time! Let's say a month."
"A WHOLE BLOODY MONTH!"
"Ya well life is tough sometimes kido," Epps said giving her a pat on the back.
"But its summer!" She wined as Sunstreaker snickered earning a kick in the shin from Hillary.
"Shut it you over grown garbage disposal! That is the last time I ever do you a favour."
"Ahh my paint!" Sunstreaker yelled about to make a grab for Hillary but was beaten to her by Jazz, who transformed while holding his charge speeding down the hall towards her room.
"Ow sure when the bot that will go offline if you scratch his paint is going to nab me you save me, but if it's a easily pissed trigger happy mech you leave me high and dry," Hillary said, crossing her arms a smile trying to spread across her face as Jazz laughed shaking the whole car.
"Even guardians have their limits babe," he joked as she laughed.
"Am I still getting a punishment from Prowl?"
"Nah. Since he saw how ya reacted ta bein' grounded he's lettin' ya off th' hook this time. But he's gona make th twins clean th med bay and Epps and Lennox clean th rest room," he replied, earning a laugh out of Hillary who had just pictured her uncle and Epps in pink frilly maid outfits each holding a toilet brush. She was definitely not going to help the twins with their pranks again or at least not get caught.
A/N Alright well thanks for reading and please review and let me know what you think. ;)
