2 weeks before in New York
We stopped in front of a car loft, deserted and littered with old bugged up cars. "Are you sure this is the place" my voice came out groggy from being so quiet for a long time. "Yes mam'" my taxi driver replied. "Alright" I mumbled handing him some cash, "stay here for 5 mins please" I instructed getting out of the car and making my way towards the car yard.
How could Isabelle be associated with anything like this I thought … a deserted and a dusty loft. The front door was locked so I walked behind where some music was blaring so loud I don't think anyone could survive it. Looking around no one was available either, I was about to turn around when I saw movement under one of the cars.
"Excuse me" I called, but no answer came. "Is Isabelle Lightwood here" I yelled but no reply came either. Rolling my eye's I carefully stepped over the man dressed in an orange county escapee suit to turn the music off which was coming from up the stairs. I turned off the stereo and found another entry way, when I finally received an answer.
"I wouldn't open that door if I were you" a man muttered standing up straighter and wiping his hands with a very filthy cloth. "What do you mean, why, how can you stand this noise" I asked. "I just wouldn't open that door" he muttered. "Well you could answer one thing is Isabelle lightwood here" I asked him but he ignored me and walked away casually like no one was even talking to him.
I called her mobile again and this time the phone rang and it was coming from the other side of the room. I stepped over some screw drives and placed my hand on the handle. "What did I tell you" the guy shouted coming back. I ignored him as he had ignored me and opened the door to find Isabelle hitch hiked on some guy. "Izzy" I whispered.
She broke away from him so fast and jumped to her feet. "Clary, you made it" she yelled pushing the guy away from her. I felt so furious I stomped away back to the main road. I saw my taxi start up, I waved and chased him but he got away. "Damn" I murmured to myself I was truly going to miss my plane now.
Isabelle came running behind me trying to button her top. "What is this" I asked turning to face her. "Are you trying to get extra money you could have just asked me" I yelled at her. "Come on Fray I was …". "I can clearly see you haven't changed much" I told her.
"Don't go judging me Simon wanted the break not me" she yelled. "That's because you never care Izzy" I yelled back. She ran her hand through her hair. "Are you done" she asked. I nodded. "Now stop being pretentious and give me a hug I haven't seen you since forever" she smiled lifting her hands to hug me.
"I know" I said calmly. "I am sorry, I was just stressed and this place is – not you" I whispered in her ear. "I am sorry too how's se—b" She was about to ask. "Let's not talk about it" I said letting her go shaking my head.
"How about you join me for a drink tonight" she said excitedly. "No – fine not too long I have to catch my plane" I said even though I knew the chances of that happening were very slim when you hanged with Isabelle. "Yeah, yeah and I also haven't seen you in forever" she muttered. It had been years since I was New York or seen my old friends.
….
"Okay purse your lips out" they all yelled. "Pout and drag Clary" Isabelle yelled across the room. I did as she told me holding the joint between my lips. "Now drag" she said taking straight vodka from a bottle. I closed my eyes and dragged smoke in. I could only see darkness and his face, his face condemning me. Then I began coughing hysterically.
"Why can't I see colour's yet" I squealed opening my eyes. "a single whiff does nothing for you" the blonde boy from the garage walked in wearing a pouting and all serious look. I don't think he liked me much. "Well give me another" I said standing up, taking one he had just placed on his lips.
I successfully took another swig and blew out smoke. "Hey" I yelled earning claps around me except from the blonde boy who rolled his eyes at me. I tried again, which took a wrong turn and I began coughing hysterically again.
We all began to laugh, when someone gave me a glass of water "No, no" I refused pushing him away. His golden hair and strange tawny eyes were mesmerizing I had to admit, I smiled up at him but he looked away angrily. Then I tried another drag until I felt my lungs burst. I think I passed out I can't remember.
…
The next moment I was on my feet dancing in circles, seeing colours of lights in greens, blues and yellow all so moving fast. My smile got wider and my laugh became contagious under the lights. My hair was a wild mess cascading around my face.
Then I saw him again. Across the room he stood. The music slowed so did my dancing. My hips moved from side to side slowly. I lifted my eyes again and this time they were on me. "Seb—" I said. "No – Jace, names Jace"
"I didn't like your attitude earlier" I yelled over the loud music. "I still don't like yours" he muttered. I smiled at that. "Come with me" he murmured. I looked up bantering my eyes then lifted my hand. He took it plainly then we weaved our way out of the bar and into a private area out into the cold making me shiver. "Are you cold" he asked when we stepped out.
I shook my head back and forth. We walked a little until we rounded into an ally way, "I thought you should clear your head – I am not" he said but he looked so animatedly all I wanted to do was touch his face. So I did – I dragged him down until his face was inch's from mine and I placed my lips over his. A small smile played on my lips as I felt him hesitate. When he recovered, he responded by making an opening with his tongue.
"You should know I don't do this on a regular basis, at least with a girl like you, half gone" he whispered breathless leaving a small space between. "Shhh It can be our little secret" I whispered drawing his mouth back to mine. My bag began to vibrate furiously then. Letting go off my beautiful stranger from under the car today I checked my mobile. I lifted a finger. One second I wanted to say. When I saw the name flashing across the screen I felt like I dropped out of the sky.
"Shit I … I have to go" I mumbled quickly … "What" he asked trying to pull me towards him again "Sorry" I muttered as I began to walk away. "What – hey come back it's too dark" he yelled. "Sorry" I called over my shoulder running this time. My phone vibrated again and this time I managed to get it. "Seb – hey" I answered. "Yeah I was just in the shower" I lied as I hurried off and got into a cab. "I know, I fell asleep" I said looking out the window as lights flashed above me.
2 weeks later in Idris.
I felt cold and heavy, and my head hung lower than usual, I still felt ashamed for my behaviour in New York. As for now I just had to get through the next few days that's what I had been telling myself. Slowly I blinked and saw my reflection in my glass of wine damn I looked miserable I couldn't replace the frown on my face with a smile at least once.
All I had to do was just smile that's all I was required to do tonight to just smile, just sit there and smile.
I hated coming home to Idris I thought again, I just wasn't myself but I hadn't been lately and I know I was slowly losing it by the day. I know I would do it alone and not be judged or observed when I was in my own home. "Tell me dear how is Paris" an old lady sitting next to me asked, bringing me back to reality. I looked up and around the table and met my mother's eyes who nodded smiling, she then looked away to chat to her neighbour.
In the background I could hear my father boast about the wine from his father's vineyards back in the 1920's. Off course this discussion never frayed away from the table whenever there was company. On the other side I could hear Jonathan's boastful laugh, he was like this when he was getting his way in a conversation.
Whilst I was here trying to tame my brain to convince myself I was okay. "Its great" I responded then I went back to twirling the contents of my drink in my hands. "Your father tells me some of your art was published in an exhibition" she asked eagerly wanting to talk to me. "Yes, in New York" I smiled, "three of the five that I painted made it" I elaborated.
"Whoa isn't that great, so talented you are" she said. But I went back to blocking my ears and thinking of my life ahead. After a while I saw she turned to the man next to her finally got the hint. I sat up wondering why I had tortured myself by coming home I didn't need this, I needed to be in my solidary and paint.
"You could sit there all night or come with me" a girl seductively whispered in my ear. I turned my head smiling. "Isabelle" I looked up. Her dark hair all gathered on one side of her body, thick and wavy falling to the edge of her waist. Her lips accentuated with a deep red colour, her eyes eyelined with a thick charcoal line and small wings at the ends.
She never ceased to amaze me even if we talked day and night most times on the phone. "Why didn't you tell me you were turning up for this fiesta" she waved her hands around. I just shrugged my shoulders and accepted the drink from her. "Your alone too" she observed. "Aren't I always" I sighed so she could not see how badly it was affecting me "Surely you knew I would be here" I said.
"Come" she motioned I follow her, I got up earning a look from my father Valentine who disapproved of such behaviour, but I behaved as though I had not seen it.
"Well you're here now let's make the most of it" Izzy smiled, "I missed you in New York you just left – well that's what J…" she said. There was some yelling down the corridor which caught her attention. "Damn" Izzy mumbled, "Two seconds I have to sort my boys out quickly" she motioned to the direction of the commotion.
I was left alone again in the corner, the corner of the house I grew up in but now felt alien to me. I walked around the kitchen bench tops drinking a cider Izzy had given me.
I smiled at the images mum still kept on the walls of Jon and me smiling, covered in mud and being silly before all the politics of Idris took over our life's. You see my father was the consul and tonight his associates and him were discussing their new campaign he was running again. I was required to be home for the announcement that he was running again and support the family.
"See that smile will not crack a mirror" a voice muttered and my face cracked in annoyance. I opened and closed my mouth at that. "Excuse me" I said frowning not wanting to turn back. "I have been watching you, I have never seen someone so serious besides the consul himself, whoa that guy is bat shit serious and his son" he seemed to be in thought at that. "They look like two dimwit—"
"Those two dimwits and bat shit serious man are my father and brother" I said finally looking at him. "Ooo hey" he said nervously. "It runs in the family then, moody, bossy and pint sized" he shrugged. I am about to speak when there's commotion again. The blonde man turns his head, then back to me "cheers Clary" he bangs his drink with mine then walks away. I looked back at the photo's wishing someone would crush me right now.
When I looked back Jace had retreated I couldn't see him anymore, when it gnawed on me that I needed to talk to him. "Damn" the blood on my face drained in an instance. "Damn, damn". But I had no time to process everything and I was feeling slow because of the wine when I was whisked away by that old woman I was talking to before, now she was adamant I meet her child.
"Why are you so short", "why is your hair so red", "Are those freckles by the angel there is thousands of them" she yelled in my face reaching up to me to start counting my freckles.
"Do you know what else she is, Merida from brave" Jace interrupted. "Meri—da" I say slowly, then try to remember the movie brave and the main protagonist the girl had wild curly red hair. "I would go tell all your friends if I were you" he said snickering to himself then taking a drink again.
She ran off yelling she found Merida. "What is your problem" I asked him accusingly. "Your lack of enthusiasm to see me" he quipped. "You don't even know me" I frowned. "O dear did you hit a few to many blunts dear" he sarcastically muttered in a British accent.
"I stop – shh please …" I say looking around. "Geez that wounds my soul, was I that terrible of a kisser … I don't fancy your pants no more Clarissa" he mocked. I looked around to make sure no one had seen or heard him again. "Please can that stay between us" I whispered feeling mortified and spotting Isabelle in tow with Simon.
"What am I forgetting again" he squared his shoulders following my eyes. "Please" I say before I walked off. I quickly grab Isabelle before I could say Hie to our friend Simon who she was back with now it seemed. "You didn't tell me you brought Jace with you" I said as calmly as I could, the night's events coming back to me.
"Yeah Jace … oh right you mean Herondale, his a spunk isn't he" she muttered looking in his direction. "Not the point, why is here" I asked. "Why, what's up Clary" she asked curious. "Nothing, he just wasn't very nice to me back in New York" I muttered.
"His the one who told me you ran off actually" she said. "Is that all he said" I asked her. "Yeah" She said her attention caught off guard. "Besides, his here with his parents the Herondale's, the one's your father replaced my family with" she said bitterly.
"Celine and Stephen have a son" I ask shocked. "Yes they have just moved from England, Jace has never really associated with being in Idris he does his own thing but is here to support his family just like you" she said.
Isabelle walked away from me then. I looked where Jace had been but he was no longer there.
