And so here you are again, pondering on the endless possibilities present in this grand universe of ours. I cannot say that I blame you, rightly, for being curious – there is a great deal to be curious about. But that curiosity can be such a dangerous thing, you know? I had felt certain that the timeline in which the heroic Mario was treated to so cruel and torturous an existence would be more than enough of a push in the right direction. Shall we say, a kindly entreaty from me to you that you not concern yourself with sticking your nose into history's fleshy underbelly and taking a good sniff. And yet, here you are again. Very well. I shall treat you to another story. Perhaps a person like you will find it to their liking? I cannot say.

"Fucking Plumber," Joe Dark thought to himself. The circumstances surrounding this situation, this truly peculiar situation, were numerous, and a simple explanation could not hope to suffice for them. However, due to a myriad of things that happened, Joe Dark, the boy in whom the Dark King's powers were reborn, was charging up a powerful attack to defeat Mario once and for all, and make everyone who liked him very sad. He raised two fingers into the sky, and pressed his foot down harder onto the badly beaten hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. A sickening crunch rose from what could only be assumed to be Mario's spine.

"MAAHAMA MIA!" The voice of the esteemed Charles Martinet, Mario's Spirit Animal, cried out in pain in his place. Joe Dark grinned a sadistic, toothy grin. Ah, this was life! Dark bolts of lightning rained down from the darkened sky, and struck his fingers. Their energy was his, and became the basis of the attack he would use to at last rid the world of Mario for reasons he only vaguely understood anymore.

However, before he could unleash the killing blow, a radiant flash of light burst forth from behind him, in front of him, from all around. The young Dark King quickly shut his eyelids. It was only when he heard a voice calling out to him that he re-opened them.

"Your reign of terror will end before it can even begin, Dark King." The voice was unfamiliar to him. He spun his head around, searching for its source, when it spoke again. "I, Rosalina, shall personally banish your..." the voice stopped, but Joe Dark was able to locate it. He quickly jerked his head upward and his eyes beheld a strange sight.

A tall and beautiful (though Joe Dark had long since discarded such human conceptions as beauty) blonde haired woman was descending from on high in a pillar of starlight. Her hair swept over her right eye, covering it completely and acting as a sort of pseudo-eyelid. She wore a silvery crown, and a long, turquoise dress, from which flowed two long sleeves, ending in fanciful cuffs whereupon her hands emerged. In one hand, she held a small, almost toylike wand with a star on its end. Standard fare, Joe Dark thought. Really, this was about what he was expecting. However, her opposite hand held a particularly large stack of papers, which were tenuously held together. The woman was looking at them with a scowl on her face.

"Do they really expect me to say this?" she asked nobody in particular. She shook her head, and tossed them into the air. With a flick of her wand, she converted them to nothing more than so much star dust. Rosalina at last made her landfall, and turned her attention to the expectant Joe Dark.

"Hehehe..." He let out a stupid cackle. "Despite your appearance, it seems I've finally encountered an adversary worthy of my full power."

Rosalina simply sighed. "Why do you insist on being so violent, Dark King? Your realm is not purely one of evil and destruction. You don't have to be so angry."

Joe Dark grit his teeth, and stared daggers at this woman. "Sh-shut up! You don't know me! You don't know what I've been through!"

The woman blinked, and stared at him. Joe Dark felt, rather, as if she were staring through him. "Then why don't you tell me what you've been through?"

"I... I..." Joe Dark found words leaking from his mouth involuntarily. Before he realized what was happening, his lips were moving on their own. They imparted to this strange woman the entirety of his sad, stupid tale. From losing his impressively loving parents at a young age, to his long struggle for revenge against the one he blamed for his circumstances, to the tragic reality of realizing he was a character in Clash of the Elements, Joe Dark spilled his entire heart and mind. For her part, Rosalina simply listened contentedly, never once interrupting or looking away. His story went on and on, and to recount it here would truly be a feat of literary masochism, so let us skip straight to the end.

"...And, and, Whiter is a big dumb meanie, and he has friends that like him, and I don't, and it makes me mad!" Joe Dark shouted, tears in the corners of his eyes. He wiped them away with the sleeve of his skull-print shirt. He looked up and was shocked to see that Rosalina had closed the distance between the two of them. She knelt down, her face level with his.

"There, there," she said. Joe Dark found her voice strangely soothing. Feminine though it was (Joe Dark knew that feminine things were generally lesser than masculine ones) it contained a certain level of power. But he felt that it wielded that power gently, not to threaten and to enforce, but as to carry a promise of protection. These subtle intonations were familiar to him, and ancient memories long forgotten stirred in his mind. Ah... That's right. He thought, This is the voice of a mother.

All at once, Joe Dark found himself swept up in the arms of this woman. She embraced him tightly against her. Unable to restrain himself any longer, Joe Dark let out a horrid shout, filled with grief and pain, and wept both openly and violently.

"It will be all right, Joe Dark," Rosalina whispered softly into his ear. She idly stroked his hair, and held him closer. He could swear that he almost felt the dark aura that surrounded him, stifled him, to be dissolving with every teardrop he spilled. His senses filled with Rosalina – her kindly voice in his ears, the blurry image of her smiling face beheld in his eyes past his baby tears, the warm feeling of her body that seemed to readily spring through her dress on his skin, and a pleasant, slightly feminine scent at home in his nostrils. If only there were something pleasurable to my taste buds, this would be Heaven. The young Dark King reflected privately.

After who knows how long, Joe Dark's tears at last began to abate. Rosalina offered him a particular smile.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Y... yeah," Joe Dark began. Satisfied, Rosalina at last broke off from him, and stood back up. Joe Dark opened his mouth to object to this, but didn't know what to say.

Rosalina shifted her wand, placing its tip in her opposite hand. "Now then, even if you have regained yourself, Joe Dark," she began, "You still likely possess a great deal of dark energy built up inside of you."

"Wh-what does that mean? Do I have cancer, Miss Rosalina?!" Joe Dark asked with worry, but Rosalina simply chuckled.

"No, you don't have cancer. However, you do need to let it out, or the consequences could be dire."

"H-how do I do that?"

"You don't need to do anything. Just leave it all to me..."

And suddenly the mood atop the Origin Temple changed, somehow. Even Joe Dark, insensitive to human actions as was, could sense it. Rosalina's eyes turned down upon him again, and he could see a strange, hungry glint beyond them. She knelt down again, but those hungering eyes did not meet his this time. Instead, they watched her own two hands, which were slowly undoing Joe Dark's fly.

"Wh-what are you...?!" he stammered at Rosalina. The latter simply giggled.

"Leave it all to me." she repeated, this time with a more firm finality emphasized in her words. And so after some working, she freed Joe Dark's member from its clothing prison. His faced flushed crimson.

Though he had not had an especially large amount of time to learn of proper human interactions, Joe Dark did distinctly recall his mother warning him about being "touched in places he didn't like." And he remembered vividly how much trouble his father had gotten in when he, in his Toddler Form, walked out into the middle of a dinner party, naked as his nameday, in front of 15 esteemed members of the United States House of Representatives. Suffice it to say, that despite his rather fragmentary upbringing, Joe Dark was aware that his penis was not something that he ought to be showing to strangers.

What he was not aware of, however, was why it had become so hard. Normally, Joe Dark's body only experienced this reaction to his vivid fantasies of tearing Whiter limb from limb. Indeed, just earlier today he had been sporting an auspicious erection (Though, in the mind of young Joe Dark, he would not know of this terminology. However, I see it fit to spare you, viewers from beyond the static veil, the giggling fits brought on by constantly referring to this phenomenon as "Joe Dark's peepee getting hard" so that they may focus on the story at hand.) before he was preparing to finish Whiter off for good. But now, his body reacted in this strange way to a woman he'd never met before. Joe Dark was perplexed.

However, while he was busy thinking about such trivialities as these, Rosalina was examining and providing her review on his freed member.

"Hmm... six and three quarter inches," she stated matter-of-factually. "Not bad for someone your age." And with her free hand, she embraced it. A shock ran up Joe Dark's spine at the feeling of this sudden intrusion. However, her touch was gentle and her grip was light. Somewhere in the increasingly foggy depths of his mind, the thought registered that he did not dislike this.

Rosalina began to slowly move her hand across the length of Joe Dark's phallus. He found himself once again unwittingly leaking at the mouth, but what emerged from it were not words, nor anything particularly resembling them, but tiny expressions of passion. His breathing quickened to a pace far faster than any amount of exertion in battle thus far had brought him.

"Hmhm..." Rosalina giggled some more as she looked up from her handjob to behold the slovenly look on Joe Dark's face. Strange sensations were building in the lower parts of his body... His brain could make little sense of them, but there was one that was at least tangentially familiar - Joe Dark suddenly felt strongly that he had to pee.

"M-Miss Rosalina! I-It feels... gonna pee..." he struggled to formulate words as his mind was being dominated by a feeling that was entirely alien to him. However, spurred on by the boy's ramblings, Rosalina's hand sped up all the more.

"Go ahead and let your dark energy out all you like," she said, almost dreamily. Her eyes drank deep of the sight of Joe Dark's twitching member which seemed desperate for release. Though the boy himself was woefully under-learned when it came to matters of sexuality, his body reacted exactly as expected. Rosalina relished in it.

And at last, the Dark King's eyelids flew open, and he cried out. He seemed to feel the tension in his lower half come to focus on one point, and suddenly drain away. From the tip of his scepter he issued forth a blast of much Dark and Kingly semen. Some of it fell, dejected, on the roof of the Origin Temple itself. While the rest of it tainted the pure, turquoise sleeve of the progenitor of the young Dark King's pleasure. He was breathing hard, but finally was beginning to feel as if he'd returned to normal.

Seeking to gather himself, he turned his gaze upward to meet Rosalina's, but she did not return it. Her eyelids still half-closed, she carried the stained sleeve to her face, and pressed it to her nose. She sniffed heavily, the sounds bringing back memories of a friend's dog that Joe Dark remembered meeting as a child. He was utterly baffled by Rosalina's actions.

"Mmm... Such powerful dark energy." Rosalina muttered breathily between hearty samplings of the scent of Joe Dark's semen. "You truly have built up so much of it..."

"Miss Rosalina, what are you..." Joe Dark began, but found himself unable to continue when Rosalina met his eyes. In them was the same hunger as before, no, hunger that burned so much more intensely. Joe Dark found himself shuddering, though with fear or anticipation, he did not know.

"Joe Dark... We need to hurry and remove the rest of that dark energy," Rosalina spoke firmly. It was clear that "no" was not an acceptable answer. Joe Dark simply swallowed, his shaking intensified. Rosalina raised her wand, and flicked it once again. Joe Dark's eyes went wide as her gown began to turn to stardust, starting from the bottom and working its way up, revealing more and more of Rosalina's womanly features.

He had never before seen a woman's naked body, and his mind was not fully equipped to process that which he now witnessed. The generous breasts, the hips, the pale and supple skin – all of it, Joe Dark took in as information. He found himself baffled at her lack of a penis – was this a result of some strange star magic? His gaze met hers once more, and he became much more aware of the beauty and femininity of her facial features. The alluring bat of her eyelids. The faint blush that tinted her cheeks. Her lips, which formed a slight pout. As if entranced, he offered no resistance whatsoever when the princess of the stars gently lowered his body to the ground, whereupon it met the cold stone of the Origin Temple's roof. It jarred him and forced a rational thought into his mind – He, too, had been relieved of his garments.

Joe Dark suddenly found Rosalina straddling him. His erect member stood up unimpeded, as if reaching for the stars. She rubbed her lower body eagerly against him, leaving a wet sensation where they touched. He looked up at her, his body and his gaze both heated. "Miss... Rosalina..." She merely pressed a finger to her lips, and smiled. "What did I say? Leave it all to me..." Rosalina replied to him, her voice scarcely a whisper.

And then, in a flash, she forced herself down onto him, ensnaring his budding manhood with the quick, decisiveness of a snake lunging at its prey. Joe Dark's penis was all at once engulfed by a powerfully wet and warm sensation, and the sudden stimulation was almost too much for the young boy to bear. His mind fell altogether blank for a moment – when his awareness returned to him, he found himself leaking strange and pathetic sounds from the corner of his mouth.

"Auh... wha..." Joe Dark attempted to form the words necessary to a question, but they would not come to him in this state. Rosalina let loose a girlish giggle, all too different from the assuring, motherly tones she had spoken to him with earlier. Her own face flushed all the deeper, and her breathing quickened. To the casual observer, one could note that it seemed she was deriving great pleasure from merely having the boy over to visit. But not long after, she began to gyrate her hips, instinctively seeking greater pleasures from her young partner.

With each little movement, Joe Dark let out more, sharper exhalations. Although he knew from last time that the "dark energy" he had admitted was, as far as he could tell, not actually pee, he still was averse to ejaculating again while he was inside Rosalina. However, the stimulation was strong, and the boy's resistance was crumbling.

Rosalina brought a finger to her lips. "It's alright to let it out inside me," Rosalina spoke wispishly, her voice punctuated with hot and heavy breaths. As if to force the issue, she promptly shifted her hips upward. The cold, night air assaulted Joe Dark's exposed length. Then she pressed herself back down, again taking all six and three quarter inches of the young Dark King into her embrace. His sudden and sharp groan of pleasure told her that she was getting what she wanted. Indeed, the young Joe Dark again felt that sensation of tension being drained from his lower half. And he knew that he had unleashed another load of thick "dark energy", this time into the depths of Rosalina's vagina. He shut his eyelids, and tried to catch his breath. He was surprised at how winded he had become – he supposed this was merely part of the process of removing the dark energy from his body.

Of course, his innocent young mind did not realize that he had grown fatigued from having two orgasms in such short succession. Rosalina's, however, did. But it seemed she did not care. After giving the boy perhaps a 30 second respite, she began to move rhythmically up and down his still-erect shaft.

"M-Miss Rosalina, wait, I'm..." Joe Dark tried to protest, but once again his mind went numb. He felt thoroughly exhausted, but so long as he remained hard, Rosalina still had use for him. The squelching noises which fell to his ears reaffirmed the star princess's supreme wetness – Though he could not know it, she had gone much too far to turn back, and would not release him until she had received satiation.

Ravenous though she was, Rosalina was not without compassion for her much younger partner. Upon hearing his attempt at an objection, she reigned in her movements, slowing down and moving much more gently. As he was inexperienced and already stimulated to the point of ejaculating twice, she knew that at her previous pace, she might drain the boy of the rest of his "dark energy" before she could achieve an orgasm of her own. And, besides that being a dreadful letdown after getting herself this worked up, the "Higher-Ups" would not look kindly on her breaking the Dark King completely. But, even beyond that, she could not help but feel a certain level of pity and sympathy toward this young boy, who had lost so much at so early an age.

Rosalina, too, had lost her parents at a young age. It had only been through the solace of her time spent with the Lumas, and her remarkably strong performance in the Smash 4 competitive scene, that had kept her sane all those years. Perhaps because of this, where others would condemn the Dark King, she merely felt pity for him. Pity, but also a desire to see him transcend the cruel hand fate had dealt him. She was, after all, no stranger to orphans. In sharing this closeness with the young Joe Dark, her heart burned as hot as her loins.

"Joe Dark..." she said to him, as she continued to bounce upon his poor, well-used chunk of meat.

"I... may not be a mother," Rosalina moaned heavily. She felt herself nearing a peak of pleasure. "And I probably can't act as a replacement for her..." The sounds of Joe Dark's pleasure were split by another intense groan of pleasure. He, too, was almost at his height.

"But does this feel good to you nonetheless, Joe Dark?" she asked him sincerely. Somewhere along the way, she had found herself tearing up. She brought her hands to her chest, and stimulated herself further. She wanted to reach climax together with him.

"I... M-Miss Rosalina...!" Joe Dark shouted her name, and with it he was swallowed up one more time with release. The feeling of another load of hot, dark energy being pumped so forcefully into her pushed Rosalina over the edge. Her grip on her breasts tightened, her back arched, and her eyes felt as if they were rolling into the back of her head. She let out an immense scream, as wave after wave of intense pleasure washed over her. Her body convulsed heavily at the point of their connection, and she could feel Joe Dark trembling. In this moment, she felt, she understood his pain, and he understood hers. In this, the deepest and most powerful of human connections, they were made one – Mind, body and soul.

But all good things must come to an end, and so too did Rosalina's intense orgasm. It was but a few minutes later that, with both of their clothes restored through Rosalina's star magic and the power of lazy writing, that the two smiled at each other.

"I didn't know there was something that felt that good..." Joe Dark said, slightly embarrassed. His cheeks flushed, but he steadfastly met Rosalina's eyes. For the two of them, the time for shame and tentativeness had long passed. Rosalina's eyelids closed slightly, holding Joe Dark tenderly and warmly.

"I'm just glad that all of the potential death and destruction you could have sewn in that enraged form has been averted," she said to him, "And... Of course, it was good for me, too."

"Oh..." Joe Dark said simply, as he looked around. The bloodied and horribly maimed corpses of the seven Genesis Samurai littered the field, along with the unconscious bodies of many of Plit's finest heroes. Mario whimpered pathetically where Joe Dark had left him (Of course, the Dark King thought, not even he could move with a broken spine...) And of course, the unconscious Alex Whiter also was face-down upon the battlefield a good distance away.

"Erm, most of it, at least," Rosalina said. Joe Dark looked up at her again. She was smiling gently at him.

"Heh..." He let out a nervous chuckle. "Say, if I ever happen to have... another build-up, of dark energy..."

"Of course. I would be happy to help you deal with it." Joe Dark flushed crimson, but smiled.

"Ughh... My head..." A weary voice complained from behind the pair. Surprised, they turned and saw that Alex Whiter, the young Elemental Overlord, had finally regained himself.

"Overlord!" Rosalina shouted, and rushed over to him. "Are you alright?"

"Ye-yeah... More importantly, though!" Alex Whiter turned himself quickly toward Joe Dark. "Now then, Joe Dark! I think it's time we end this!"

Joe Dark raised his hands above his head. "Wh-Whiter, it's okay now! It's all okay now! I'm done being evil!" However, his protests fell on deaf ears.

"BURAZING OVERLORD FISTO!" Alex cried, closing the gap between him and the Dark King in an instant, as rainbow flames erupted from his fist. They engulfed him, Joe Dark, and the surrounding area.

"WHIIIIIIIIIIIIITEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!" Joe Dark growled heavily as he felt himself disintegrating into ash in the hot embrace of those bittersweet flames.

And as quick as it began, it was over. Where the former Dark King had once been, there now rested a simple skeleton. Alex Whiter, immensely satisfied with himself, punched into his opposite palm. "Alright! I did it! I beat Joe Dark!"

Rosalina just sighed. She needed a drink.