Lovely Weather

oOo

He promised himself that it wouldn't come to this. He swore on his father's bloodied katana that this would never have to happen. He could feel his hands begin to shake as his mind caught up to the severity of the situation. Never before had he been reduced to trembling in the face of his line of duty. The sensation was new and unwanted. It made him feel weak and vulnerable (which he probably was at the moment). Why it had come to this, he'd never know. He tried to retrace his steps and decisions, tried to unravel his mistakes that led to this inevitable situation. No matter how much he berated and swore at himself, he couldn't change the plain facts: he had promised it wouldn't come to this...

And here he was.

And there she was beside him.

The gun in his hands felt heavier than when he picked it up this morning. The cool weapon seemed to suck out his life force and morals. This was madness. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't. He promised that he wouldn't. No, he wouldn't let her get hurt. It was too late for that now, though. Everything he swore by had fell away, piece by piece. He should've seen this scenario coming, but had been pitifully blind-sided.

"Kakashi-sensei."

He needed to control his quivering hands, lest the gun goes off. He knew that he had to keep his eye on the enemy, but couldn't help to swivel his good one towards her. Her emerald eyes were wavering with condensed fear, but her young face didn't reflect what she really felt at the moment. He didn't want to answer her, but felt compelled to comply, "Sakura."

The gun looked out of place in the roseate-haired soldier's hands. It wasn't supposed to be there and Kakashi had to fight the sudden urge to rip it away from her.

Her young eyes fluttered to the ground by her boots before returning to his lone, grey eye, "Do you think this is it?"

Not for you. Please God, not for you.

It was his fault in a sense. He was the one who had taught her two years ago, the one who trained her how to hold that weapon correctly. When she tapped into her latent ability for medicine, his mind had been so sure that she would've stayed back home. He was such an idiot to underestimate her drive. He had seen the glint of want in her eye as she tended his battle wounds back at the camp. And now, here she was, silently reverberating her last prayers that were supposed to be his alone.

He could hear gunfire being spewed out in the distance with his trained ear, and he knew she was expecting him to answer. Willingly or not. She was going to be the death of him, not this war.

As he gazed into those emerald irises that were just too naive to be out on the battlefield, he wanted to lie so bad. He wanted to fib and say it was going to be alright. That they were going home soon, back to Konoha. They were going to be having ramen together soon enough and she was going to scream out her lungs that he was tardy once again.

But as he saw her fingers curl tightly around the gun in anticipation and her eyes searching his own for answers, he found himself spitting out the truth. He couldn't lie. Not this time.

"Most likely."

Sakura nodded her head in understanding, seeming to take the morose news well. Kakashi, on the other hand, was trying to keep it together. It was all his fault. If he had only tried harder to rebut her request to join him on the front lines. What the hell had he been thinking? He only had one ticket to hell, and she wasn't joining him. As the air around them became thick with gunpowder, Kakashi realized what had made him agree.

He thought he could protect her.

He thought that she would back down once the first shots rang out.

Oh, how wrong he had been. Despite what his records back home said, he wasn't immortal. He couldn't even protect himself most of the time, let alone another life. The whole situation was completely fucked up and Kakashi could only point the accusing finger at himself.

"Hinata's having the baby any day now. Naruto is gonna be a great father. I just wish I would be able to see if he has blue eyes or pearl."

Kakashi felt his throat become dry and swell up.

"I was supposed to be the maid of honor for Ino's wedding. Heh, she's gonna kill me."

Kakashi tried to stop his lip from trembling beneath his mask.

"And Lee. Damn, I promised him a date."

Kakashi bit his lip as the foreign sensations of tears pricked his eyes. At the same time, a chuckle rumbled in his throat. He felt awful for laughing at such a time as this, but what else could he do?

"I still owe Genma forty bucks from the bar."

Sakura snorted, her emerald eyes becoming brighter, "That's nothing. Ino's gonna throw a shitfit and I don't know if Shika will be able to reign her in without my help."

Kakashi could hear the enemy getting closer, their own comrades leading the soldiers right to them as planned. It wouldn't be long now.

"Now I won't be able to wear that dress."

"Don't feel bad. I forgot to buy Asuma a birthday present."

Closer, still. It seemed as if their comrades had sprung on an attack, the sounds of mortal wounds thrashing and screams of men emanating not too far away. Sakura shuddered briefly and Kakashi felt the need to put an arm around her shoulders. But alas, the gun was just too heavy to hold with one hand.

Sakura bit her lip and said softly, "I wish I could've found love. Maybe that's why I'm here."

Kakashi felt his heart squeeze. He, once again, felt compelled to provide his own regrets, "I wish I could've been afraid of death. It would've saved me a lot of trouble."

Sakura only nodded, somehow understanding his statement more than she was expected to. Kakashi felt his fingers twitch as the enemy drew nearer. Was it too late to tell her to run? It didn't matter anyway. She wouldn't have listen to him. She never had before. He smiled at this.

Sakura seemed to sense that the enemy was coming as well as she slightly turned her head towards her sensei, eyeing his silver locks and his eyepatch. Despite knowing that he couldn't stop the bad guys this time, he still seemed like a god to her. Something that couldn't be touched.

And now it was time. It was too early for him. He wanted to stall just a little bit longer, but once the adrenaline started pumping, there was no way around the inevitable. Kakashi turned his head towards Sakura and marveled at her pink tresses and studied the green orbs that were already eyeing him. It was still his fault, but at least she'd have company.

Kakashi, despite his gun's weight, reached out to ruffle her locks one last time, "See you on the other side, ne?"

Sakura smiled, "Try and keep up, ojiisan."

Shots fired.

Blood spilled.

Tears fell.

Hearts broke.

Apologies sent.

Forgiveness.

Still untouchable.

Still beautiful.

oOo

A/N: Whoa. What the hell was that? I'm not quite sure myself. It seems I've been spitting out oneshots left and right but they are just so tempting to write. So, now, instead of being ninjas, they're soldiers. Tch, I have a lot of free time...

And I am quite evil, I know.

Thanks for reading and please review!

- - H. 92