Chapter 1: Introduction
*Galadriel Voiceover*
"The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air."
"Sam! Say excuse me"
"AHEM! As I was saying...Much that once was is lost and none now live who remember."
"Galadriel, you're alive, and you obviously remember."
"Shut UP! It began with the forging of the great rings."
Three elves randomly appear, one being Galadriel, one being Gil Galad, and the other being Cirdan.
"Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings."
Laina suddenly jumps in and lands on Cirdan. She's short with short dark hair up in a ponytail but with lots of pieces hanging loose. She has brown eyes with olive tints to them and fair skin. She puts on her saddest pair of puppy dog eyes. "Can I have a ring? Pleeeeeeease???? They're so pretty and shiny. I just want one...."
She is blatantly ignored.
"Seven for the dwarf lords, miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls."
As they raise the rings in a toast thing, Laina comes running in.
"Hiiiiiii.....oh my god, you stink" she runs away again, screaming about stinky dwarves.
Galadriel rolls her eyes in disgust, although you can't actually see it. "And nine, nine rings were given to the race of men who above all else desire power."
"Hey, I'm from the raise of men, but I'm not power hungry! What??? Money?? Ooh, I'm coming, wait!!!"
"For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived-"
Laina comes running in, again. "Hey, no way Miss. Mind Reader Lady. I knew. I read the books, so I wasn't deceived. Nyaaaaah!"
Galadriel is really starting to get annoyed. "For another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged, in secret, a master ring to control all others. And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all."
"Ooh, I know this one!!!" guess who screams. "One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Want to hear my other poems???"
"No!!!" Galadriel all but screams. "As I was saying. One by one the free lands were all felled to the power of the ring. But there were some who resisted."
As the men and elves are marching towards the mountain, Laina is right in front, ponytail swinging, singing out, "Left, left, left right left. Left, left, left right left. Come on men! And elves! March 2, 3, 4, Hut 2, 3, 4" The men looks at each other confused while the elves look royally pissed off.
Galadriel takes a deep breath and counts down from 10 under her breath. "A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. On the slopes of Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth."
Elrond shouts out some orders in Elvish and then Laina runs up to him. "Who in the name of the Valar are you?"
"I'm Laina!! You're Elrond aren't you?? My friend thinks you're hot when you have dirt on your face!" She continues rambling on while Elrond gets more and more agitated.
"Um, I'm trying to fight a war here, can I help you with something?"
"Oh, right" Laina says, suddenly remembering why she's there. "Here take this, I took it from Random Man Fighter #77398A." She hands him a helmet, which he takes looking slightly confused. "It just bugs me that you're the lead marshall dude man and you don't have a helmet. You're going to get shot in the head!" Then she runs away, skipping down the hill they're standing on.
"Victory was near"
"Yeah, yeah, we know, then Sauron came out and killed-"
"Would you please shut up?" Laina was cut off as Galadriel grabbed her mouth.
"Fine, fine, I'll shut up now." Galadriel didn't notice that Laina had her finger crossed behind her back.
"But the power of the ring could not be undone."
As the Elves and Men fight, Laina prances around, yelling at orcs, and generally being annoying. When Sauron strikes Elendil, she gets slightly....upset
"Waaaaaah!!!! How could you??? You killed Elendil!" crying, she looks up at him, pissed. He simply glares down at her. "Heh, riiiight, I'll be, um, going now, see ya!" She runs off, faster than, well, fast.
"It was in this moment, when all hope had faded that Isildur, son of the king took up his father's sword."
Laina is seen standing on a hill wearing a Gondorian cheerleading outfit with matching pompoms. "Isildur, Isildur, he's our man! If he can't do it no-one can! Oh dear God, Isildur, you're our only hope!! No pressure or anything..."
"Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth, was defeated."
"Yaaaaay Isildur!! I knew you could do it!!! I had complete and uttermost faith in you the entire time!!! Eeeeep!" She is blown away by the wind as Sauron falls.
"The ring passed to Isildur who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of it's own."
"Hey, I've told you before, we're not easily corrupted. Ooh, shiny...."
"It betrayed Isildur to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost."
"Oh, go Isildur, nice one, dumbass."
Choking a disgusted sigh, Galadriel continues. "History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the rings passed out of all knowledge, until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer."
"My precious"
"No, ew, I hate Gollum. Yuck, yuck yuuuuuck."
"The ring came to the creature Gollum who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him."
As the scene scans over the Misty Mountains, Laina is seen bouncing through the clouds, talking like she has helium in her voice, which is pretty high, considering how high her voice normally is.
*Nonlogical, pointless, Gollum babble*
"The ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For 500 years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumour grew of a shadow in the east. Whispers of a nameless fear."
"It's Sauron!! I know it is!! I bet you.........your ring!! Uh huh!!!"
"NO!!! I am not betting you my ring, or anything else. Go away!!!! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted........." dagger glances at Laina. "And the ring of power perceived. It's time had now come."
"Hey, how could a ring have figured that out? I mean, it's an inanimate object. I don't think it could have heard rumours, especially in a stinky old mouldy cave..."
"Okay, look, it's a special ring. Special. It has, ah, magical powers or something. Just give it up. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened the ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable..........-"
"Me!!!!" Laina comes running into the scene and picks up the ring. "Buahahahaha*coughcough*HA!!! Now I don't need your stupid ring Galadriel. I have one of my own! Nyaaaaaah!!!"
"Put the ring down."
"No. It's my ring down!!!" She sticks out her tongue to someone off camera."
Galadriel stalks on camera, looking thoroughly pissed off. "Put. The. Ring. Down."
"No, I don't want to!!!"
Galadriel finally loses it. She begins to glow green and scream at Laina to put the ring down in her creepy echoey voice.
Suddenly a hispanic dude jumps in! He has dark hair and eyes (duh) and dark skin....(a/n wow, amazing description, huh?) He's dressed like Aragorn, with a small goatee.
"Rhyan!!!" she squeals. "I haven't seen you since the summer!" she runs over and hugs him.
"Casey, put the ring down."
"I'm not Casey anymore Rhyan. I'm Laina!" She sticks her tongue out at him.
"Fine, whatever, Laina, put the ring down."
She heaves a disgusted sigh. "Fine"
"Can we go now"
"Alright, but if you ever make me do that again, I'll hit you on the head with a wooden flute cleaning rod thing!!!" (E/N (editors note) HEY!!)
As they head off camera, Galadriel breathes a sigh of relief silently hoping she'll be able to finish her narrative speel without anymore....interruptions.
"As I was saying.....a hobbit....Bilbo Baggins of the Shire."
Bilbo: "A ring"
Background Gollum "Noooo, my precious!"
"For the time would soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all."
As the camera backpans across the Misty Mountains, Laina is seen once more, hauling Rhyan down the mountain.
"Close enough" Galadriel mutters.
***Please be nice and review! First fic! Author likes encouragment!***
(Cas, I added that to annoy you. Love you hun!)
5
*Galadriel Voiceover*
"The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air."
"Sam! Say excuse me"
"AHEM! As I was saying...Much that once was is lost and none now live who remember."
"Galadriel, you're alive, and you obviously remember."
"Shut UP! It began with the forging of the great rings."
Three elves randomly appear, one being Galadriel, one being Gil Galad, and the other being Cirdan.
"Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings."
Laina suddenly jumps in and lands on Cirdan. She's short with short dark hair up in a ponytail but with lots of pieces hanging loose. She has brown eyes with olive tints to them and fair skin. She puts on her saddest pair of puppy dog eyes. "Can I have a ring? Pleeeeeeease???? They're so pretty and shiny. I just want one...."
She is blatantly ignored.
"Seven for the dwarf lords, miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls."
As they raise the rings in a toast thing, Laina comes running in.
"Hiiiiiii.....oh my god, you stink" she runs away again, screaming about stinky dwarves.
Galadriel rolls her eyes in disgust, although you can't actually see it. "And nine, nine rings were given to the race of men who above all else desire power."
"Hey, I'm from the raise of men, but I'm not power hungry! What??? Money?? Ooh, I'm coming, wait!!!"
"For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived-"
Laina comes running in, again. "Hey, no way Miss. Mind Reader Lady. I knew. I read the books, so I wasn't deceived. Nyaaaaah!"
Galadriel is really starting to get annoyed. "For another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged, in secret, a master ring to control all others. And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all."
"Ooh, I know this one!!!" guess who screams. "One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. Want to hear my other poems???"
"No!!!" Galadriel all but screams. "As I was saying. One by one the free lands were all felled to the power of the ring. But there were some who resisted."
As the men and elves are marching towards the mountain, Laina is right in front, ponytail swinging, singing out, "Left, left, left right left. Left, left, left right left. Come on men! And elves! March 2, 3, 4, Hut 2, 3, 4" The men looks at each other confused while the elves look royally pissed off.
Galadriel takes a deep breath and counts down from 10 under her breath. "A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. On the slopes of Mount Doom they fought for the freedom of Middle Earth."
Elrond shouts out some orders in Elvish and then Laina runs up to him. "Who in the name of the Valar are you?"
"I'm Laina!! You're Elrond aren't you?? My friend thinks you're hot when you have dirt on your face!" She continues rambling on while Elrond gets more and more agitated.
"Um, I'm trying to fight a war here, can I help you with something?"
"Oh, right" Laina says, suddenly remembering why she's there. "Here take this, I took it from Random Man Fighter #77398A." She hands him a helmet, which he takes looking slightly confused. "It just bugs me that you're the lead marshall dude man and you don't have a helmet. You're going to get shot in the head!" Then she runs away, skipping down the hill they're standing on.
"Victory was near"
"Yeah, yeah, we know, then Sauron came out and killed-"
"Would you please shut up?" Laina was cut off as Galadriel grabbed her mouth.
"Fine, fine, I'll shut up now." Galadriel didn't notice that Laina had her finger crossed behind her back.
"But the power of the ring could not be undone."
As the Elves and Men fight, Laina prances around, yelling at orcs, and generally being annoying. When Sauron strikes Elendil, she gets slightly....upset
"Waaaaaah!!!! How could you??? You killed Elendil!" crying, she looks up at him, pissed. He simply glares down at her. "Heh, riiiight, I'll be, um, going now, see ya!" She runs off, faster than, well, fast.
"It was in this moment, when all hope had faded that Isildur, son of the king took up his father's sword."
Laina is seen standing on a hill wearing a Gondorian cheerleading outfit with matching pompoms. "Isildur, Isildur, he's our man! If he can't do it no-one can! Oh dear God, Isildur, you're our only hope!! No pressure or anything..."
"Sauron, the enemy of the free peoples of Middle Earth, was defeated."
"Yaaaaay Isildur!! I knew you could do it!!! I had complete and uttermost faith in you the entire time!!! Eeeeep!" She is blown away by the wind as Sauron falls.
"The ring passed to Isildur who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the ring of power has a will of it's own."
"Hey, I've told you before, we're not easily corrupted. Ooh, shiny...."
"It betrayed Isildur to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost."
"Oh, go Isildur, nice one, dumbass."
Choking a disgusted sigh, Galadriel continues. "History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the rings passed out of all knowledge, until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer."
"My precious"
"No, ew, I hate Gollum. Yuck, yuck yuuuuuck."
"The ring came to the creature Gollum who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, it consumed him."
As the scene scans over the Misty Mountains, Laina is seen bouncing through the clouds, talking like she has helium in her voice, which is pretty high, considering how high her voice normally is.
*Nonlogical, pointless, Gollum babble*
"The ring brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For 500 years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumour grew of a shadow in the east. Whispers of a nameless fear."
"It's Sauron!! I know it is!! I bet you.........your ring!! Uh huh!!!"
"NO!!! I am not betting you my ring, or anything else. Go away!!!! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted........." dagger glances at Laina. "And the ring of power perceived. It's time had now come."
"Hey, how could a ring have figured that out? I mean, it's an inanimate object. I don't think it could have heard rumours, especially in a stinky old mouldy cave..."
"Okay, look, it's a special ring. Special. It has, ah, magical powers or something. Just give it up. It abandoned Gollum. But something happened the ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable..........-"
"Me!!!!" Laina comes running into the scene and picks up the ring. "Buahahahaha*coughcough*HA!!! Now I don't need your stupid ring Galadriel. I have one of my own! Nyaaaaaah!!!"
"Put the ring down."
"No. It's my ring down!!!" She sticks out her tongue to someone off camera."
Galadriel stalks on camera, looking thoroughly pissed off. "Put. The. Ring. Down."
"No, I don't want to!!!"
Galadriel finally loses it. She begins to glow green and scream at Laina to put the ring down in her creepy echoey voice.
Suddenly a hispanic dude jumps in! He has dark hair and eyes (duh) and dark skin....(a/n wow, amazing description, huh?) He's dressed like Aragorn, with a small goatee.
"Rhyan!!!" she squeals. "I haven't seen you since the summer!" she runs over and hugs him.
"Casey, put the ring down."
"I'm not Casey anymore Rhyan. I'm Laina!" She sticks her tongue out at him.
"Fine, whatever, Laina, put the ring down."
She heaves a disgusted sigh. "Fine"
"Can we go now"
"Alright, but if you ever make me do that again, I'll hit you on the head with a wooden flute cleaning rod thing!!!" (E/N (editors note) HEY!!)
As they head off camera, Galadriel breathes a sigh of relief silently hoping she'll be able to finish her narrative speel without anymore....interruptions.
"As I was saying.....a hobbit....Bilbo Baggins of the Shire."
Bilbo: "A ring"
Background Gollum "Noooo, my precious!"
"For the time would soon come when Hobbits will shape the fortunes of all."
As the camera backpans across the Misty Mountains, Laina is seen once more, hauling Rhyan down the mountain.
"Close enough" Galadriel mutters.
***Please be nice and review! First fic! Author likes encouragment!***
(Cas, I added that to annoy you. Love you hun!)
5
