A/N: I own nothing, unfortunately.

From a prompt at the P/R drabble meme:

Mike/Sam/whoever: "Dude, Rachel's your girlfriend."

Puck: "What the hell? No way, man. We're just friends. Who like to cuddle. And kiss sometimes. And talk on the phone everyday. And watch movies together every week. And go out for dinner. And know each other's schedules... Oh, shit."


He and Quinn were broken up. Long since broken up, actually. He couldn't handle her particular brand of crazy anymore. The whole, "you said you love me so now I'm going to carry your nuts in a mason jar in my backpack" kind. So yeah, that was definitely over by the start of summer. After their breakup, he dated a few different girls around town. He had enough sex to get her out of his system, and he was ready to move on.

He never imagined moving on would include Rachel Berry.

Sure, it started off innocently enough. He asked her for help in English class, since she always seemed to actually read the books. Then she asked him to try to teach her guitar. That took a long time. They spent hours in either her room or his, working on chords and strumming, and they got so close (mentally and physically) that it was natural. The kissing, that is. Making out had always been their strong suit.

The other stuff? Not quite so natural to him. Like when they got to the point that she'd call him on Saturday evenings to ask how his day was cleaning pools. Sometimes she'd even go with him and drink lemonade while he worked.

Then the movie nights started. Thursday, after glee club rehearsal, they'd pile into his truck and end up in her living room, watching either an action movie (his choice), or a musical (hers, obviously). They always went through a bowl of popcorn between the two of them, two cans of soda, and one and a half glasses of water. By the time the movie was over, she'd be sound asleep, with his chin settled on her shoulder and his arms snaked around her waist.

One Sunday in the late fall, when his pool cleaning business was on hiatus and he was more than ready to spend his hard-earned money, he called her up. He hadn't heard from her yet that day, which was weird since she usually called at some god-awful early hour like 10AM. When he asked her out to dinner, he somehow knew it wouldn't be last time.

She got sick the week after Thanksgiving. It was only a minor head cold, but to her it was worse than the Plague. He scowled his way through glee club, waiting for Mr. Schuester to dismiss them before complaining to Mike.

"Dammit, I was gonna take that new cheerleader behind the bleachers, but Rach keeps texting me about bringing her soup or some shit. I need to get laid, dude."

Mike laughed incredulously as his eyebrow quirked up. "Dude, Rachel's your girlfriend."

Puck's eyes widened at the use of the word. "What the hell? No way, man. We're just friends. Who like to cuddle. And kiss sometimes. And talk on the phone. And watch movies together every week. And go out to dinner…" He trailed off as his brain finally clicked on after months of being in the off position, apparently. "Oh, shit…"

Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, smirking to himself. "Yeah, of course. Totally just your friend."

He left the room, leaving a slack-jawed Puck in his wake.