Written for Fanfiction Marathon Competiton/Challenge and The Crazy 8s Challenge. Title from the Ella Henderson song.
Lavender found herself going to the river a lot, though to do what she never could quite figure out. Perhaps to pray, but even that was something she never did.
Mainly she just wished.
She wished that Fenrir Greyback hadn't scared her, she wished she had been stronger, she wished that Vincent hadn't died.
She wished she had never fallen in love with him.
The water threaded through her fingers, and Lavender tried to swallow the lump in her throat. It was impossible.
She knew how he had died, she had asked Hermione for the details. She knew it wasn't with honor or dignity or bravery. She knew it wasn't helping Dumbledore's Army, it wasn't anything good.
She wasn't surprised. Even if he hadn't died, they never would have worked. He was too cruel, too mean, too unloving.
Lavender hated herself for loving him.
But she still wished that he hadn't died.
She didn't quite understand that.
She could feel his ghost over her. And while many times she wished it would go away, sometimes she was glad to have it.
It stopped her from feeling alone.
