A/N: it's 3 fucking am and i'm writing porn about kids that lay magical eggs bye
The first time he asks is the last time.
And god, she wishes that she could have done it over. She actually thought it was a joke, to his immediate horror, though it did make her considerably flustered. And it's not long before she realizes that he was serious, but by then he'd already receded back into himself and pushed the subject off with tact. It took some time for her to get over the guilt of it – really, it wasn't that odd, was it? Especially for people their age. They were curious, and hell, she was too (as well as incredibly embarrassed by the thought of it). Why were things so complicated between them? One step forward seemed like a journey and yet taking three steps back seemed to happen so quickly.
That was how it always was. On the surface, and to pretty much anyone and everyone, Amu and Tadase had been the picture of perfection.
They'd admit that it was actually entirely their fault. They'd been showing affection constantly towards each other in different, subtle ways throughout their school years and had made quite the reputation at the school as a popular "couple," or so everyone had said. All of their silent glances and sweet exchanges had built up and made a recognizable impact on the way that the student body had seen them – the King and the Joker, the epitome of elusive romance.
To each other, though, it was…complicated.
Amu had been constantly on the fence about her feelings for both Tadase and Ikuto, though with her recent closeness to the former, her emotions had developed moreso in that direction. However, her uncertainty with her feelings had left her unable to properly confess, and she'd never truly gotten around to it. Eventually, she'd begun to feel especially guilty due to the tremendous amount of love that Tadase had shown her, especially with him upholding his promise of telling him that he loved her every day. That had, over time, unfortunately grown less as a fluttering in her heart and more as a dramatic drop in her stomach.
The blond, at least, understood her in that sense after so long. Amu and Tadase had been in a relationship for almost three years. They couldn't quite determine, however, what type of relationship that exactly was. Not once had they kissed or done much more than hold hands, which was apparently enough to make it clear that they were interested in each other, but not clear enough to understand how far they each wanted to take the relationship. This eventually led to incredible frustration on both their parts, though for different reasons. Tadase himself didn't want to take things too quickly and ended up doing the exact opposite, while Amu didn't know exactly how she wanted to take things.
It hit them especially hard when they entered high school and the adorable affection they'd had for each other branched out into less innocent things. Amu would be a complete liar if she said that they'd never actually had physical – more specifically, sexual – contact before. As they'd always done, they couldn't quite determine where their relationship wanted to be or where they wanted their relationship to be, having never even kissed and yet having previously explored each other's bodies, though it had never really ended with anything significant. Unfortunately, this left them both very strained in many ways.
Their inability to fully understand each other is what keeps them from truly taking anything far enough for it to be called serious. They had trust in each other, and a considerable amount of things in common, but they were both paranoid people and had thus begun to be nervous about what the other was thinking. It was always Tadase who would eventually take their relationship to new levels, but even he had limits as to what he was comfortable with doing.
Thankfully, they both eventually worked up the courage to talk to each other about what they liked. And though it was a very mentally painful and embarrassing conversation, they at least got somewhere, and it wasn't really much of a surprise when Amu learned his inherent desire for dominance. At first she's shocked, but very quickly calms down and remembers that this need of his was precisely the reason that Kiseki was born, and it's not long before her weariness over his longing becomes more of her appreciating him wanting to build his confidence through their relationship. She finds it absolutely adorable, in fact, but of course she wouldn't be able to tell him that.
And when they meet in her house one day while her parents are gone, she needless to say nearly has a heart attack when his first real intimate request is to tie him up.
Which, she will be fair, was much more a request full of stuttering and averted eyes. It was a little hard to tell what he wanted, really, and of course he wasn't asking about it right then and there, but he wanted to bring it up, and her quite frankly freaking out over it probably didn't help things in terms of their relationship. Three steps back, she supposed with a sigh, and it took quite a bit of coaxing from Ran and Miki specifically to go through with anything, and oh god, she's talking to her Guardian Characters about tying her boyfriend up, why is she doing this –
It's right then that she realizes that she does, in fact, consider Tadase her boyfriend, and that sends a warm and high feeling to rush through her and give her the confidence to actually go through with a specific plan of hers. Actually, it's mostly Miki's plan, but Amu doesn't want to acknowledge the fact that she just got taught about what Tadase's sexual preferences likely were by a small blue person that represented a part of who she wanted to be. Or maybe just didn't want to acknowledge that she needed that lesson anyways.
It makes sense when it's explained to her, of course, and Amu realizes that Tadase's desire to be dominant also causes him to seek out its opposite. To nearly everyone at school, he'd always come off as aloof and yet beautiful. Cordial and yet kind. The picture of a strong figure in the making. The idea of being dominated is exciting to him, and when Amu asks how Miki knows this, the blue haired girl just replies with something about knowing Kiseki and, by extension, knowing Tadase. And Amu doesn't really want to think too hard about that.
Her heartbeat races even when she calls Tadase to invite him over, and she thanks whatever higher being out there (did the Guardian Characters count as higher beings?) that her parents were still on a brief vacation trip and that they trusted her home by herself when she wasn't looking after Ami. Of course she couldn't scare him off by buying full on rope or anything fancy and she had to face it, she had no idea how to tie a knot any more complex than the one she'd used when tying her shoes. So all she has with her is two bandanas and hopes that those will suffice for what he's looking for.
But he actually shows up and she panics because, oh god, how's she going to bring this up?
"I'm sorry for not being able to meet with you earlier, Amu-chan," he says, attempting to make small talk about previously cancelled plans, but too much is on her mind to even remotely realize what he's talking about at first.
"What? Oh – oh! No, it's fine…" she trails off and averts her eyes, attempting to look relaxed as they both sat on her bed, and she of course made sure that none of the Guardian Characters were around to see her. Eventually, she becomes determined to make something happen, and she stares at him intensely, attempting for the first time to take actions into her own hands. "Can I – well," she swallows. A forced and dry swallow that makes everything even worse when he realizes just how nervous she is and pulls that face, that worried little face that she loves so much, and she can't help but continue. "I want to try something…Tadase-kun." And without any explanation, she holds out both of the durable pieces of cloth.
However he has no idea what she wants to do exactly, and his puzzled expression is enough to make her continue. "H – hold out your hands, okay?" She's stuttering, but she can't really stop, and she doesn't really even care enough to stop anymore. "I'm not really sure why…but, well, alright." He has the nerve to actually be amused by the situation, but she can barely even tell because he doesn't really let anything show other than well-meaning concern.
But he gets it when she carefully ties his hands together and his eyes grow wide as his face begins to turn red.
"I'm going to put this over your eyes. Is that okay?" It's the first thing that she's said steadily that day, and he nods his head as his breathing visibly quickens.
And everything is suddenly dark.
He can actually almost feel her recovering from her actions and wonders if someone as easily flustered as her can do something like this, but those thoughts are quickly shoved into oblivion when he feels her hand snake up his shirt, the other pushing him over on the bed. Her hands are suddenly everywhere on him, stroking his chest and he can feel her breath on his neck before she finally leans forward and presses small, barely noticeable kisses along his jaw. All throughout, he's prepared for her to stop, for her to overheat, to get too embarrassed, but he can't even tell how she actually is, and he doesn't remember the last time he'd allowed himself to feel so vulnerable.
It finally gets to him how she has all the control in the situation. He's oddly alright with that. In fact, he feels comfortable with that idea.
When she's unable to get his shirt off due the bind around his wrists, she rubs her palm against his inner thighs, and she's not sure if she's doing this right at all but his flushed face and heavy breathing tells her that she is and she takes off his pants with probably more force than necessary. Every now and again between kisses, she'll stop and just stare at him, at his beautiful form, and she doesn't really think of how confusing that all must be for him until she's mouthing at him and teasing him through his boxers (she'd laugh about that later – the Prince wore boxers, who knew?) and he's trying and failing at keeping himself from thrusting against her mouth.
It isn't long before her name slips through his lips and Amu has an incredible urge to squeak loudly because that's her, this is her, she's making him like this, and it's enough to make her excited and all she can do is pull off his boxers and make him moan as loud as she wants to. Sliding her tongue over his head and over his shaft, the blond beneath her writhed, face more red than he thought it could be. What was wrong with him? Was it just because it was her?
"You're – " she let out a gasp on top of another gasp, "You're enjoying this a lot, aren't you…?"
It took all of his will and pride to keep him from tilting his head back and completely losing control when she buried her head between his legs, taking him into her mouth, and all he could do was breathe out her name repeatedly. How he wanted to take hold of her head, or her shoulders, but he was completely in her hands and couldn't physically do either. It doesn't take much to take him over the edge, turning him into an absolute mess, and it hits him hard when she gasps out Tadase.
"God – Amu, I – oh, god."
Despite lying down, he felt dizzy and his mind was a haze. When his blindfold comes off and he's greeted by the flushed face of Amu, he sighs and his breathing steadies, if only slightly. For the first time, their lips meet, and he feels as though it's more important of a gesture than she realizes it to be. Events don't really seem to catch up to him very quickly and it's a long while before he even remotely feels self-conscious about his submission to her.
Whatever pride he had in regards to her had to have been gone. He found that he didn't really seem to mind that much.
