A/N: This is something that I had floating at the back of my mind for awhile now. Its just something I've always wanted to write about, maybe bring some awareness to the subject? However, I'm not sure if anyone's actually going to enjoy reading this story; so please, review, review, review! I want to know what you guys think before I continue with this story and follow if you wish! :)
Disclaimer: As much as I wish I were; I am not Amy.
Chapter one: Adversities, appointments and arguments.
Short backstory:
Set in the summer of 1999. Lorelai 31. Luke 33. Rory is 14, almost 15. Eloise 3 (b. summer of 1996, so it's a new 3). Lorelai and Luke married in '93 had been dating for two years prior to this. Rory was 8. (We are assuming that they met pretty soon after Lorelai moved to Starshollow)
"Deaf people can do anything, except hear."- I. King Jordan
Lorelai was sitting at the kitchen table, the beautiful summer's day illuminating the room. She sat with her elbows anchored on the table, her hands holding up her head, looking wistfully at the infant sitting opposite her.
Three year old Eloise sat on her knees on the opposite chair. Her loose chestnut curls falling around her shoulders, her pale skin illuminated by the sunlight and her big blue eyes staring attentively down at her colouring book. She sat silently, her face screwed up in concentration as she tried desperately hard to keep within the lines. This made Lorelai smile, such a perfectionist, she thought. Lorelai watched with fascination as Eloise delicately stroked the paper with the thick magic marker. She seemed peaceful; lost in her own little world, focusing on the task at hand. Eloise tilted her head to the side to judge the finished product, a content smile spread across her face. Slowly and carefully removing herself from the chair, she took the book from the table and walked around to Lorelai, holding it in the air for her to see with a proud smile.
"Wow, that's beautiful, babe! Shall we put it on the fridge?" Lorelai spoke clearly and steadily, signing the keywords beautiful and refrigerator in ASL; pointing to the door of the fridge which was already adorned with several of Eloise's drawings. Eloise smiled and nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah? Alrighty then!" Lorelai beamed, and began to carefully remove the finished drawing from Eloise's colouring book. Rearranging the almost full fridge she found a space and attached the new drawing with four fridge magnets. Eloise bent her neck back, looking up at the fridge with wide eyes. Lorelai smiled down at her daughter, scooped her up into her arms and blew a raspberry on her belly, causing a giggle to escape from Eloise's mouth. She held Eloise up right balancing her on her hip. Eloise wrapped her arms around her mother's neck to steady herself a big grin still on her face. Lorelai shifted Eloise on her hip so that there was a good distance between them and to ensure that Eloise was facing her.
"What'd you say? Think it's time for lunch? Are you hungry, Eloise?" Lorelai asked, forming her right hand into a c shape and moving it in a downward motion in front of her oesophagus, signing the word hungry. Eloise looked at Lorelai perplexedly, blinking her big blue eyes.
"Well, I'm hungry," Lorelai said placing her daughter back on the ground, kneeling down so that she was eye level. "Shall we go see Daddy and get him to make us a humongous cheeseburger?" Lorelai questioned playfully, spreading out her palm and tapping her thumb lightly on her forehead; signing the word Daddy.
This was one of the signs that Eloise knew extremely well, her face lit up with glee. She imitated the sign Lorelai had just made with excitement, making a soft but insistent "hm" sound to emphasize her point. Lorelai shook her head smiling, and placed Eloise back on her hip as she grabbed her purse. "You are such a Daddy's girl," she muttered to herself as she walked out the front door, a smile tugging at her lips.
As Lorelai entered the Diner, Eloise wiggled her legs impatiently wanting to be free from her mother's grasp. "Yes, okay, okay, you can get down now," Lorelai sighed and placed Eloise on the floor. Once Eloise was happily returned to the ground, she ran as fast as her little legs would carry her, behind the counter and into the small kitchen, before Lorelai could catch her.
"Eloi- " Lorelai went to call for her daughter as she walked after her, however she stopped abruptly realising that there was no point. Eloise would not hear her calling. She sighed and sat down at a nearby table.
Eloise spotted the back of a tall man in jeans, flannel and a backwards baseball cap. She bounded into the back of her father's legs, wrapping her arms around them and enveloping them into a tight hug.
Luke twisted around to see two big blue orbs shining up at him, a huge smile plastered across her face. "What are you doing back here, huh?" He smiled at the sight of his daughter and bent to pick her up. "You little rascal!" he exclaimed playfully, beginning to tickle her tiny tummy. Eloise squealed with joy as she squirmed in his arms. He chuckled at her and pulled her upright, she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed a wet kiss to his unshaven cheek.
Luke came out of the kitchen, with a happy Eloise in his arms. He spotted Lorelai at a nearby table, staring vacantly out of the window. She looked troubled, as she played nervously with her hair.
"I believe this belongs to you," Luke said dryly as he reached Lorelai's table, startling her from her daze.
"Why, hello there!" she exclaimed, pretending to be caught off guard at the sight of her daughter.
"You know, you've really got to stop her from running back there; the kitchen's not safe,"
"Well it's your fault,"
"My fault, how?"
"You've made her into a daddy's girl, there's no way I can control her once she's set foot on the diners premise," she reasoned, with a shrug.
Luke chuckled, "Well, you're probably right," he said as he bent down to place a hello kiss to her lips, she gave him a flirty smile and then giggled as she saw Eloise playfully covering her eyes with her hands.
Luke rolled his eyes and then removed a hand from her face, and pressed a kiss to her cheek teasingly, causing her to squeal and squirm slightly in his arms. He sat her on the chair opposite Lorelai and pulled out his order pad, "Right then, what are we having?" he asked gruffly, his pen poised over the pad.
"Burger and chilli fries," Lorelai stated, matter-of-factly.
"Coffee?" he asked.
Lorelai arched an eyebrow, "Do you really have to ask?"
Luke sighed, "You're right, silly me," he said dryly, "And, Eloise?"
Lorelai leaned over and lightly tapped the table in front of Eloise, she looked up at Lorelai expectantly, a smile on her face. Lorelai beamed back, there was something about that smile; it could instantly lift her mood.
"Eloise," she began forming her hand, so that it formed the sign for 'E'. It had become the sign that Lorelai had adopted when addressing Eloise, as she did not have a name sign, "What would you like to eat?" she asked, moving her right hand to her mouth in a repeated motion, signing the word eat.
Eloise tilted her head, as if she was deep in thought, bringing her hand to her mouth subconsciously. She then began to 'squish' the heels of her hands together repeatedly, signing the word for cheese and letting out a soft, short 'hm' sound. She turned to give Luke a cheeky smile.
"Grilled cheese coming up," he said, ruffling the top of her curls and walking back towards the counter, pouring a cup of coffee for Lorelai.
"You're pretty," Lorelai cooed, as he placed the cup in front of her.
Luke rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, that's what all the caffeine junkies say," he said dryly as he walked back towards the kitchen again.
Lorelai opened her mouth in mock exasperation, as Eloise began to wave her hands widely towards the direction of the door, propping herself up on her knees. Lorelai swivelled around, to see Rory walking towards them.
"Hey, sweets, how was school?" she asked, as Rory bent down to place a kiss on her cheek and then made her way over to Eloise.
"Hey, Eloise," she said, waving back and then placing a kiss on the top of her sisters head before sitting down in the vacant seat, "It was the last day," she said sadly, addressing her mother.
"I know," Lorelai said sympathetically, tilting her head.
"I hate last days," Rory said with a pout, "What's the point in them, we don't do anything apart from play games,"
Lorelai gave a soft laugh, "Aw, my little freak," she teased, placing a hand on Rory's arm and giving it a small squeeze.
Eloise started to hum insistently to get Lorelais attention, waving her hand in Lorelai's direction. Lorelai smiled, "Yeah, sweets?" she asked. Eloise open and closed her hands, signing book.
"Oh, right, sorry!" she said, reaching down to pull 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' from her purse and handing it to her. Lorelai turned to look at Rory and saw the sad expression on her face, "Hey, honey, cheer up its summer!" she said brightly.
"Yippee!" Rory said sarcastically, pumping her fist in the air.
Lorelai rolled her eyes, "Okay, I'm getting you some food, any preferences?" she asked as she stood up and started walking towards the till.
Rory's mood instantly lifted, "Chilli fries!" she called, excitedly.
"Got it," Lorelai called back, "Oh, Lucas," she cooed loudly into the kitchen.
Luke made his way out of the kitchen and towards the counter, where Lorelai was now seated on the stool closest to the till; the troubled look was back. He sighed heavily, he hated not being able to fix things, especially his wife's happiness.
"You okay?" he asked sympathetically.
"Oh, uh, yeah," she said sheepishly, embarrassed at being caught, "So, our table of two has now become a three,"
"Oh no, has the post-last day depression started?" he asked, only partly mocking.
"Yep, I need a plate of chilli fries stat,"
"On it," he said, turning around to re-enter the kitchen.
"Hey," she called, causing him to swivel around, "before you go, I forgot to double-check. Eloise's audiologist appointment is this afternoon, you can still make it, right?"
"Yeah, everything's set here. What time, do you want to leave?"
"Um, I'd say about three-ish," she responded, cut off by Rory who exclaimed 'Eloise!' in between laughing. Lorelai and Luke both looked over to find Eloise leaning across the table, trying to grasp the large coffee mug that sat in front of Lorelai's now empty chair. Eloise looked up and gave them both a wide innocent smile, before seeing Luke's stern face and shrinking back into her chair disappointedly.
Lorelai giggled loudly, turning back to face Luke who just rolled his eyes, "She is so your daughter," he said dryly, shaking his head and walking back into the kitchen.
They sat in the waiting room in silence. Luke looked over to see Lorelai staring absentmindedly at Eloise, who was playing happily with the wooden activity table, which seemed to have appeared in every waiting room they had ever been in. She began to nervously jiggle her leg. Luke placed a pacifying hand on her thigh and she automatically stopped, smiling at him blushingly she placed her own hand on top of his and squeezed gently.
She wasn't nervous as such; it was just a regular appointment. But there were too many bad memories associated with these walls. Memories that she couldn't help but relive anytime she set foot in the general vicinity of this hospital.
"Eloise Danes," a small lady, in her mid-thirties called from the door of her room.
"Hi, Nikki," Lorelai said as she went over to get Eloise, taking hold of her hand and guiding her towards the audiologists room.
"Lovely to see you guys again," Nikki said brightly, once they had all made their way into the room.
It was a soundproof room, the walls and floor all covered in the same felt and the front wall containing a soundproof window and a heavy metal door. It reminded Luke terribly of the padded cells used in psychiatric hospitals, only not as empty. The back wall was lined with computers and various other equipment. There were two chairs off to the side and in the middle of the room was a set of child-sized plastic table and chairs. On the table sat a wooden boat, with 6 wooden people inside.
"Yes, lovely," Luke said dryly, with a fake smile.
First of all, was the regular hearing test, in which Eloise listens to sounds of different frequencies through headphones and places a wooden man inside the boat to indicate when she has heard a sound.
"So," Nikki began, "Eloise's hearing loss hasn't really changed much since last time. She still has an 80 decibel loss in both ears. So she can make out some loud sounds but will struggle greatly with hearing speech,"
Lorelai nodded in confirmation, slightly annoyed that she was telling her what she already knew.
"And Eloise has just turned three, correct?" she asked, looking down at Eloise's file and then looking back up at Luke and Lorelai for confirmation.
"Yes, about a month ago now," Lorelai verified.
"Now, I know that you have already ruled out the idea of Eloise having a cochlear implant, which is fine. But just as procedure, I have to remind you that the older Eloise gets the less likely it is that she will develop speech skills once a C.I is implanted. So, really the most opportune time for Eloise to have a cochlear is now. Just something to think about," Nikki added cautiously.
"I think we're pretty set in our decision, but thank you," Lorelai said politely. Luke's eyes darted between Lorelai and Nikki, unsure if he should speak up. He decided on a grudging nod in confirmation. Luke tightened his hold on Eloise slightly, who was now sat in his lap, resting her head against his chest and sucking her thumb.
"Right then, how are her hearing aid moulds, still okay?" Nikki asked.
"Um, no I think the left one is coming to the end of its life now, we'll probably need a new one," Lorelai responded.
"Well that's no problem," Nikki said brightly, turning around to get a laminated sheet of paper from her desk drawer. The sheet contained about thirty different hearing aid moulds, each in a different colour. Nikki held the sheet out in front of Eloise, "What will it be today then, Eloise?" Nikki said in her usual lively tone.
Eloise looked at the different colours in interest, her eyes curiously scanning the page, she held her finger to her mouth, deep in thought. Luke rolled his eyes and turned to Lorelai, "This is as bad as going to the mall with you," he teased dryly.
"Well what can I say, she learns from the best," Lorelai said playfully, flashing Luke a cheeky smile.
Eloise lent forward and placed her finger on the picture of a bright purple, glittery mould, turning around to smile at both of her parents.
Luke rolled his eyes yet again at her choice, "Have you been training her or something?" he mocked.
"Well of course, where else would she have gotten her fabulous taste from?" Lorelai said playfully, grinning at Eloise.
That night, Lorelai, Luke and Rory were splayed out in the living room, the end credits of 'The Way We Were' running on the TV screen. Rory was laid out flat on the sofa, her head in Lorelai's lap turned to her side to watch the TV; her eyes had fallen shut. Lorelai absentmindedly stroked Rory's hair, she looked over at Luke who sat in the armchair, looking down and the empty beer bottle that he was now twisting round and round in his hands distractedly.
"You sleepy?" Lorelai leaned down slightly to whisper in Rory's ear.
"Nuh uh," Rory said softly, shaking her head, her eyes still closed, she snuggled further into her mother's leg.
Lorelai laughed softly, "Come on, let's get you to bed,"
Rory grudgingly rolled off the sofa, straightening up and then stretching. She made her way over to Luke giving him a hug before doing the same with her mother.
"Night," she called as she began to make her way to her bedroom.
Silence fell on the room. Lorelai reached for the remote and turned off the TV, looking over at Luke again she found that he hadn't moved much since she last looked over. She could see the cogs spinning in his brain.
"Hey Luke?" she asked, he lifted his head to meet her gaze, "You okay?"
Luke just shrugged his shoulders.
"You seem a bit distant. You wanna talk about it?" she asked softly.
Luke was silent for a moment, "I think we should consider a cochlear!" Luke said quickly, the thought bursting from him, before he could stop himself.
"What?" Lorelai said disbelievingly, her voice choked and her face in complete shock, as she looked at him.
"I think," he began loudly, "we should consider it," he repeated, lowering his voice calmly.
Lorelai's eyes glistened, her mouth a gape, she scoffed, "But … why?"
He stood up and began to pace the room, "Because! I want more for Eloise, Lorelai! I don't want her to be disadvantaged in life! She deserves so much more than … this! She doesn't deserve to be diff-"
Lorelai let out a frustrated 'ugh', "Don't use that word!" she shouted angrily at him, her anger forcing her to rise and meet his level, "I hate that word," she growled, her eyes wide and locked on his.
Luke looked slightly taken aback but stood his ground, "She is, Lorelai! Whether you want to admit it or not, she is different and she's going to have to cope with that for the rest of her life!" he exclaimed his volume increasing dangerously as he spoke.
Lorelai looked at him disgusted, "You're making it sound like Eloise's life is over, if she doesn't get this cochlear. Her life isn't over!" she shouted at him emphasising the last four words individually.
"She won't be able to go to a regular school, she won't be able to watch movies, listen to music, she won't be able to talk!" he listed off on his fingers, shouting the last word pointedly.
Lorelai shook her head, rolling her eyes irritated, "Did you actually do any research at all?!"
"Of course I did," he exclaimed defensively.
"Well then you'd know that the only difference between Deaf schools and regular schools is that the students are Deaf. She'll get just as good an education there as she will anywhere else. You'll also know that lots of movies now a days are Closed Captioned and that sound is vibration, you can feel it in your body. Deaf people still listen to music, Luke! God, there are many extremely talented Deaf musicians! She can listen to music," she stated firmly, "And Luke she's learning to sign, why can't you get your head around that!"
"I know! It's just …," Luke began.
"They have to cut open her brain to install it," she cut him off pointedly, "and it doesn't always work, Luke, what if something went wrong, did you think about that?"
"Of course! It's just … it's just," he stammered, unable to voice what he wanted to say.
"Just, what, Luke! Why do you have such a -"
"I just want her to be normal!" he yelled over her, his patience vanishing. He instantly regretted it, hanging his head in shame.
Lorelai let out a sad breath, her eyes wide and filled to the brim with tears, "How can you .. do you really think that our beautiful little girl is .." she couldn't finish the sentence her voice breaking and fat angry tears spilling down her cheek.
"Lorelai, I didn't mean-" he began apologetically, but was cut off.
"That's what this is about isn't? You want to fix her! Well she isn't broken, Luke!" she said angrily.
"Hey! That's not what I meant!" Luke said loudly, pointing a finger at her.
"Don't you understand, its electronic hearing, Luke, not a cure!" she exclaimed meaningfully.
"I just want what's best for Eloise," he said firmly.
Lorelai scoffed and shook her head slowly, staring at her shoes, "I don't wanna talk about this anymore," she said quietly, before she turned to the stairs.
"Lorelai, come on, where are you going?" he called after her, as she climbed the stairs.
"Bed," she said shortly, jogging up the rest of the flight.
"Lorelai," he called again desperately, which was followed by the slamming of their bedroom door.
Luke sighed and sunk down into the couch, before dropping his forehead into his hands.
TBC? - Yes? No?
A/N: Please tell me what you guys think and whether I should continue. For the record, I am hard-of-hearing myself, however as I am not profoundly Deaf, not all my facts may necessarily be correct - I think they are but if they're not I apologise. I am also not american and so have no idea how different things are compared to in the UK.
Follow, favourite and review!
Also, I would greatly appreciate it if you checked out 'Teens on Coffee' another Gilmore Girls fic that I have been writing with my friend, Mo! Thanks! :)
s/9454728/1/Teens-on-Coffee
