After reading a very humorous book called The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy I have been inspired to write this. For those of you who haven't read the book, in it are funny descriptions of ways to handle things that happen to the unfortunate characters. And I thought, this would be fun to do for Recess! This will cover a variety of characters, not just the gang we all love. But the first two or three will be.

I am not good with mimicking the style of Mr. Adams, but I'm trying my best.

The hitchhikers Guide to Childhood is a magnificent book that should be in the possession of all school aged children. In its bindings were way to handle any and all situations that a child might find themselves in. It wasn't however, due to most children not finding reading to be a very fun thing to do. Even still, they follow methods and advice the book entails. One of the first entries in the Guide is on groups.

In just about every school in the country there are children. Each of these children are usually around other children that they share common interests. The purpose of this is for all of them to feel somewhat normal, even if the group wasn't considered normal by all the other groups. However, there was a very rare occurrence where five or six children who had just about nothing in common found a way to get along. Not shockingly, they had the biggest arguments adding to the fact that this group type shouldn't exist. But for an unknown reason this type of group had the strongest bonds. To make up for being an impossible group type, they proved their worth by helping the student body rebel against the faculty who was being paid from the taxes of the children's parents.

In all group formations, there three main steps. The first involves one child A having an overwhelming need to not be an outcast, and identifying others who feel the same way. Failure to do this will lead child M to find solace through adults and faculty, leading to a life of being in a cold room filing papers, while child A correctly followed the first step. The second step is child A figuring out what the other children can do for them. This comes off as a very selfish gesture to most, but those are the people who forget that this is the process for forming groups and not friendships; that was a different process. The final and most difficult step is to wait until something happens that requires all of their skills then manage to be around each other when this happens. Following these three steps is 50% effective in forming groups.

Since there are on average 50-50 split between the genders in schools, the epidemic of cooties causes 10% of the failure rate. The other 40% is due to a group not being able to handle more than one member with the same characteristics.

In the middle of the playground at Third Street school was a rope that suddenly found itself to be in very compromised position. This was because it was being pulled on both ends by two groups of children. On one end were a group of six impossible friends who has only participating because of the other group's threat. This group belonged to a larger group of fourth graders.

On the opposite end of the rope was a very plausible group. This group was the cause of the rope predicament. They were considered by the impossible group to be a nuisance, and often rained on their parade. They, like the other group, belonged to a larger group of fifth graders.

These two groups pulled with all of there might, not wanting to be humiliated in front of their peers.

Eventually the small group of fifth graders found themselves coming in contact with the cold, hard ground and the impossible group cheered in victory.

"We won! That means you guy's have to leave us alone for a month!" Vince told the other group.

"Yeah, yeah," Said Lawson as he picked himself off the ground a dusted the dirt off hi clothes. "Whatever. Come on guys." He led his group away from their shame. Like them, the impossble group walked away to play, knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted. Halfway there however, the bell that signals the end of recess rang, putting a stop to any plans they had to have fun. Still, they walked away knowing they had a month free of interuptions.