Two quick slashes then all this pain would end.
Two .That was all it would take.
Tom would be so disapointed in me.
But he could'nt know what was going through my head.
He would understand.
I told my self this.
But I did'nt beleive it.
He'd probaly hate me.
I could'nt stand the thought of Tom hating me.
I could imagine him shaking his head and smiling his crooked smile.
Sighing and hugging me 'Silly Bill of course you don't look horrible.
Always there for me even when he had to bail on his current girlfriend to do so.
But I was a burden.
So I was going to leave.
I had left a note hopefully it was'nt lame it being my last words and all.
I ran water in the tub.
I set the deadly razors on the sink.
I quickly got undressed.
Leaving my under wear on so it would'nt be to wierd when they pulled me out.
I climbed in, the water was warm and so calming.
I picked up the razor its deadly edge flashed in the bathroom light.
I held it to my wrist pressed and pulled.
It was surprisingly not as painfull as it sounded.
I quickly put it to my other wrist pressed and pulled.
My fingers slipped in the blood.
The second gash was straight and then veared off course.
The pain kicked in now it was painfull.
I wonder what my heart felt like here it was working to keep me alive and I was letting it down.
Letting my blood spill out into the now luke warm water.
A sticky sweet metallic smell filled my nose.
Blood smelled unpleasant I decided.
I was close I could some how fill it how my heart slowed to a slow rhythm.
Missing a beat here and there.
I was really tired.
But not in a yawning tired way.
This was a pass out for days hungover tired kind of way.
I was getting ready to cash in when the door to my room opened.
I knew I shoud probaly panic but All my sences where dulled.
Tom was laughing and talking loudly to someone on the phone.
He was drunk.
He would come in to piss soon.
My eyes were closing again.
Toms cat like foot steps.
He stepped in.
'Geez Bill close the curtain.
He turned around and then it hit im.
I 'm not sure what he noticed first the smell or the tub of blood.
He turned slowly back around making a complete 360.
'Bill'
My eyes were so heavy,I really wanted to ask him who he was talking to but could'nt seem to make my mouth move.
Right before my eyes closed I got my thick feeling tongue to work.
'Don't hate me 't hate me'
My words were slurred and jumbled together but Tom understood me.
He looked like he could'nt beleive it though.
He was just sorta sitting on the floor not moving.
My eyes slipped shut and with a relieved sigh I sank gratefully into it.

Tom never recovered.
He never gets in a bathtub.
Hating the white porcelain in his eyes they were all stained red with his little brothers blood.
When they found Tom and Bill it was after several hours.
Tom had'nt moved from were Bill had last looked at him.
And after that He never moved on.
In fact it was as if he with drew more and more with every passing day.
It was'nt as if they had lost one son.
It was as if they had lost both.
They simply had a living corpse for one and memorys of the other.
And that was how it went on until one morning Tom was'nt in his bed.
They found him 2 hours later.
In a small crumpled heap.
Dead.
His body could't handle the sleeples nights and lack of food it had given up on him.
He'd already given up so it was just a matter of time.
There was no note from him.
Just scrawled lines in is journal.
Over and over again.
I don't hate you .I could never hate you.
No one understood those words .
They buried him beside Bill Under the fall trees.
And for the first time since Bill died the sun shone it's bright rays into Toms room.
The sadness that had turned it's bright light away was gone.
Two malefunctions in a Two graves.
Alway's in pair' and always