Crack!fic silliness
With apologies
The Old Bodleian Library was bored. Bored, bored, bored …. and bored.
The Radcliffe Camera, who could, on occasion, be somewhat entertaining, was cocooned in a mix of scaffolding, wood and mesh, indulging in its stonemason habit.
The Camera had been on a blissed out high for weeks!
It really was quite disgusting.
The Sheldonian Theatre and Museum of the History of Science (or Hissy as the Old Bodleian liked to call it) were even more boring than being bored.
They were currently discussing Einstein's theory of relativity in musical terms. Their conclusions were, of course, complete rubbish and the Old Bodleian really couldn't be bothered to correct them and their inconceivable theories.
That didn't stop that baby-faced pretender, though. The New Bodleian Library (and wasn't that going to get confusing) kept injecting its immature comments into the conversation.
The Old Bodleian sent a contemptuous sneer at the New Bodleian. It may well hold the vast majority of the fabled collection when the humans finally finished it, but it couldn't truly be called a Bodleian Library for centuries. It took time for all that knowledge to seep into the very stone of its being. To watch the humans learn and debate and continually add to that knowledge.
The Old Bodleian sighed…and then jerked with excitement. It had been so busy being bored that it had failed to notice the film crew setting up in its Divinity Hall.
And it wasn't just any film crew, it was the film crew, the one with …yes, yes, there they were. Old Bodleian would have clapped its hands together in glee, if it had any.
They were here, both of them!
Old Bodleian sighed in contentment as it watched its favourite humans. It couldn't resist when the tall blond one leant against one of its walls, causing the stone to tingle. The urge was just too strong…it reached out and ….pinched the human's bottom!
The human leapt away from the wall, a hand rubbing at his abused cheek. The other humans dissolved into laughter, the dark haired one bent almost double in mirth as he backed away from the outraged blond.
Closer and closer the dark haired one moved towards Old Bodleian's walls.
One step…..
Two step…..
YES!
