Title: Green is Not Your Color
Author: Sue
E-mail: ruststar@aol.com
Category: Jake/Ham
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated in any way with Young Americans or the WB.
Summary: Jake's ex-boyfriend shows up at Rawley.
Thanks: To Debba for all the help – and for having such a good eye for detail!
Author's Note: Response to Carol's "Seeing Green Challenge". Challenge constraints
dictated that I had to change things around a little. Jake didn't kiss Ham on the roof, and
in this story she has gone into fall quarter without anyone discovering her secret.
Part 1
Hamilton spent most of moving in day on the roof of the boy's dorms with his camera,
just like he had been ever since the hormones kicked in at age 11 – it had the best view of
the girls campus.
It didn't feel the same this time; his heart just wasn't into ogling the new girls. He spent
most of the afternoon opting for shots of the landscape surrounding Rawley Academy
instead of the bikini-clad girls on the docks.
As the afternoon wore on he finally had to admit to himself the fact that he was really
scanning the campus for Jake's arrival on campus. He'd missed hanging out with Jake
over the break - over the summer they had quickly become good friends, making Jake the
first real friend Hamilton ever had. It had been lonely growing up at a boarding school,
and he had been drawn to the only student that seemed just as lonely as he was.
They had a lot in common - liked the same music, movies, and video games, and he
could actually talk to Jake about - anything. He seemed different from the other guys at
Rawley in some indefinable way, though, and Hamilton hadn't yet figured out why Jake
was rarely far from his thoughts.
Finally he saw a motorcycle approaching from a distance. He knew it couldn't be anyone
else when the rider pulled off onto a side path blocked from sight by the woods. Hamilton
smiled happily as he stuffed his camera back into its case and headed down to greet his
friend.
------
Jake parked her bike in her usual hiding spot and turned off the engine. She looked up at
the Rawley Academy dorms peaking through the trees and sighed. Another quarter
pretending to be a boy was not something she looked forward to, yet here she was, about
to start the charade all over again.
The entire time she had been home in New York she had analyzed the wisdom of her
decision to return to Rawley. Her extreme actions had gone completely unnoticed by her
mother, so there was no good reason to continue. She could have easily switched to
another school and started the school year as Jacqueline again, but she couldn't bring
herself to make the arrangements. It was ironic - after six schools she finally felt like she
fit in and it happened to be at a school where she most definitely did not belong. But she
fit.
Most of that was because of Hamilton. Their friendship made being at Rawley so much
easier. Her mind kept returning to the last conversation she had with Hamilton before she
left for New York. -He said he'd miss me- she thought, and she finally admitted to
herself that she had made her decision right then. Ridiculous as it might seem, it was
worth it to hide, just to be near him.
She shook her head, as if to clear the thoughts from her mind, and got off the bike. It was
time to become 'Jake' again, and she couldn't start out the school year full of mushy girl
thoughts about being in love with her best friend.
------
Hamilton's mother spotted him before he could make it down to the hiding spot where
Jake hid his bike.
"Hamilton, could you help me out for a few minutes honey?" she asked. She was
standing near the entrance to the dorms with a tall blond boy in sunglasses who looked to
be about 17.
"Sure Mom, what is it?" he asked, even though he already knew what she wanted. He
was always roped into campus tours when a new student showed up.
She smiled gratefully at Hamilton before formally introducing him to the new boy.
"Hamilton, this is Gregor Newcomb, he's just transferred from Wheatley Academy.
Gregor, this is my son Hamilton. You won't be in the same classes because this is
Hamilton's first year, but you'll at least have one familiar face on campus!"
"Will you show our new student where his room is? I have to run back to the office and
take care of all his paperwork. The two of you can get to know each other along the
way!" she said cheerfully. Hamilton rolled his eyes at the older boy, who smirked in
response, but he said yes. His mom was always doing this - she just didn't like going into
the boy's dorm. "It always has this hormonal smell to it", she'd say. After a few more
pleasantries she finally escaped back to her office, leaving Ham with the new boy.
"Nobody calls me Gregor, by the way, just Greg." said the new boy, as he offered a hand
to Hamilton.
"Yeah, I figured by the way you cringed when she said it!" Hamilton asked, as he shook
the taller boys hand. He examined the newcomer closely. He developed a knack for
pegging people after so many years around the school, and he had a feeling this guy was
not the usual preppy.
He was nearly half a foot taller than Hamilton, and fairly well built. He seemed to be in
good shape, but didn't seem athletically inclined. His style of dress was subtly different
from most of the students at Rawley - it wasn't something obvious, but more of a general
impression that he had an individual style that was going to make him stand out, no
matter who he was around. It was in the way he carried himself. Must be from the west
coast, definitely - thought Hamilton, as he led the way into the dorm.
"So, which room are you assigned to?" Hamilton asked.
"214. Your mom said normally a junior wouldn't be on the 2nd floor with the
sophomores, but since I enrolled so late, I was stuck, at least until something opened up
later." Greg said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh boy – that's Jake's room." Hamilton shook his head and smiled, knowing how Jake
was going to react to the news. He'd never met somebody more protective of his privacy.
"I should have known - he's the only sophomore left without a roommate. Hmmm, well, I
guess he'll just have to deal with it – it probably won't be for long. The room is right up
the stairs and to the right. I saw him arrive a few minutes ago, but I doubt he's in there
yet."
Greg stopped in his tracks. "Did you say Jake? Are you talking about Jake Pratt?" he
asked.
"Yeah – how'd you know? Do you know him?" asked Hamilton, confused.
"Oh yeah," he said, as a sly grin spread across his face, "Jake and I go way back." He
gestured for Hamilton to lead the way up to his room as he tried to keep from laughing.
He was pretty sure he knew how Jake would react to having a roommate, and he was
looking forward to seeing the look on her face when she saw who it was.
Part 2
Jake was surprised to see the door to her room standing open as she turned right at the top
of the stairs. Her surprise turned to apprehension when she saw that an extra bed had
been placed in the already cramped room. The open suitcase on the bed told her that she
must have company, but there was nobody in sight.
She sat down on the edge of the other bed, thoughts racing through her head. She stared
numbly at the wall for a moment, contemplating the wisdom of breaking into tears. Her
whole charade couldn't last under 24-hour scrutiny, so a roommate basically meant that
she was going to have to leave. Her shoulders slumped at the thought, and with great
effort she dragged herself up from the bed over to the window.
She gazed out the window at the sprawling campus. Kids were running back and forth
dragging both parents and luggage behind them. The whole atmosphere was one of
excitement and anticipation, reminding her that only moments before she had been
feeling that as well. A deep sigh escaped her, as if letting out the last ounce of her
happiness.
As she turned back to the bed to pick up her keys, helmet, and backpack she heard
Hamilton's voice approaching in the hallway.
"God, what did you pack in here? Did you bring everything you own?" Hamilton
complained.
"Just my CD collection and enough clothes to last for a few days…"a familiar voice
answered, and her heart jumped into her throat.
Hamilton saw her first as he entered the room, and he grinned broadly at her after he
dropped a duffel bag large enough for stuffing a body onto the floor. She felt the familiar
warmth spread through her body at the sight of him, but she didn't have a chance to
respond. Her new roommate walked through the door carrying an equally large suitcase
that he tossed on the bed before standing next to Hamilton.
"How's it going Jake?" said Greg, with a wicked look in his eye. "It's been a long time –
did you miss me?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her from behind Hamilton, trying to make
her laugh.
She wasn't about to let Greg blow her cool, however, and replied, "Nope. Not a bit," she
smiled at the fake look of disappointment he affected. She continued, "But if I had to
have a roommate, I guess you'll do" she said, reluctantly. She didn't like the idea, but it
was definitely better than the alternative – at least she didn't have to pretend to be a boy
around Greg, and she knew she could trust him to keep his mouth shut. He was very good
at secrets – she knew that from experience.
"I'm kind of confused though – why are you here? What happened at Wheatley?" she
looked quizzically at the boy that stirred up so many memories for her. Her first kiss, her
first romantic disappointment, and her first lessons in how to be a boy.
With a sigh he opened up the suitcase on the bed and began separating the contents on the
bed. "That's kind of a long story," he said, sitting down on the bed, "I'll have to tell you
later". His pointed look at Hamilton reminded her that Hamilton was still in the room.
Hamilton got the hint, and excused himself. He looked irritated, but was gone before she
could say anything. She glared at Greg for chasing Hamilton out of the room so rudely,
but quickly saw there was no point. He had no way of knowing how she felt about
Hamilton, and probably didn't even know how well she knew him.
"Are you mad at me for showing up here?" he asked quietly. She looked at her former
boyfriend – the one that had turned into a good friend – with compassion. She knew that
his smart-ass attitude was mostly an act, so she couldn't stay angry with him. He had
been through almost as many schools as she had, so she knew how he was feeling at that
moment.
"I'm not mad – you just scared the hell out of me, that's all. God, if I had to share a room
with anyone else I was going to have to pack and leave again." She rolled her eyes at the
thought. She crossed the room to shut the door and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Roommates, yeah, umm… is that going to bother you?" he asked.
"Greg, we both know I'm safer with you than anyone else. I mean, we established that
right before I left Wheatley – you know, after…" she trailed off not wanting to embarrass
him.
"After…oh. After you saw me with Adam." He blushed deeply at the memory.
"Like I told you before, I'm not mad about that. I never was. I wasn't even really
surprised."
"You weren't? What, do I just scream 'gay' or something?" he asked indignantly.
"No, no, nothing like that." She searched for the right words to explain what she meant.
"I could tell when you kissed me." She continued when she saw the hurt look on his face,
"Don't get me wrong, you were fine, technically proficient, but… I could tell your heart
wasn't really in it."
"Plus, when you were helping me prepare for this," gesturing towards her manner of
dress, "You looked at me a lot differently than you did when I dressed like a girl!" she
laughed and ducked out of his reach when he tried to grab her. He chased her around the
room, finally cornering her and pinning her against the closet door.
He looked down at her and said, " Well, you do make a pretty cute guy, y'know…"
"Yeah, I know," she said with a straight face. That got them both laughing again. She
began to think it might be kind of fun to have Greg for a roommate – almost like having a
girlfriend.
Part 3
Jake sighed, running her fingers through her short hair. She and Hamilton had been in
her room studying for their history exam for only 15 minutes when she realized she
didn't have her notebook.
"Shit – I have to go get my notebook. I must have left it down by the docks when we had
class today."
"No big deal - I wanted to get organized before we got too far into this studying mode
anyway," said Hamilton, perfectly happy to delay studying as long as possible. Jake took
off, and he got up from the desk to stretch. Just the thought of preparing for this test made
him tired.
He began poking through the pile of CD's over on Greg's desk, looking for something to
keep him awake. As he looked through the titles he noticed a photo album lying on the
desk, one of those kind from a one-hour photo-developing place. He picked it up and
began paging through the book.
The album obviously belonged to Greg – he was in some of the shots. There were a few
group shots, several shots of random boys, and two shots of a girl.
These last two caught his eye because the girl was stunningly beautiful – tall and slim,
with chin length black hair cut in a bob. In one picture she was wearing a red halter-top
and cut-off shorts that showed off a great figure – perfect abs, great legs and smooth,
sculpted shoulders. She was standing with one roller blade on, and the other on the
ground, laughing with one hand obscuring most of her face.
The other picture was with Greg, and looked like it was from some kind of formal dance.
Although her face was turned mostly away from the camera he knew it was the same girl
because of the hair and the shoulders, exposed by the pale-green strapless satin dress she
was wearing.
"He's got good taste in girls, I'll give him that much," he thought. He was about to put
the album down when he heard Greg behind him.
"She's cute, don't you think?" Greg said, barely containing a smile when he saw how
much he had surprised Hamilton. The younger boy had been staring so intently at the
pictures he thought there would be holes burned into them.
Hamilton felt like sinking into the floor – Jake wouldn't have cared if he snooped, but he
didn't know Greg. He dropped the album back on the desk, and turned around slowly,
blushing furiously.
"Umm, yeah - definitely. Beyond cute. Who is she?"
Greg looked at him quizzically before he answered slowly, "She's … an old girlfriend.
We're good friends now, so I kept the pictures."
Hamilton calmed down when he realized Greg wasn't going to blast him for snooping
through his stuff, but he still wanted to get out of there fast.
"I have to go. Go get something to drink, I mean. Could you tell Jake I'll be back soon?"
He said as he backed his way out of the room. Once in the hallway he practically ran
down the hallway to the stairs. He needed some air, so he decided to grab some cokes
from the dining hall and wait for Jake to get back. He wasn't going back in that room
unless Jake was there.
Part 4
When Jake came back a few minutes later she was surprised to find Greg present and
Hamilton gone.
"Did you chase Hamilton away again?" she said irritably. Over the last few weeks she
had noticed that whenever Greg was in the room Hamilton wouldn't stick around. It
really bothered her that Hamilton seemed to resent Greg's presence, and that Greg made
no effort to change that. He found it amusing that Hamilton was jealous of their
friendship –and he delighted in teasing her about her feelings for Hamilton.
"No – this time her ran all by himself." He said with a huge grin.
"I learned something really interesting though," he said, lifting his eyebrows suggestively
at her, "he thinks you're cute!"
Stunned, and confused, she asked, "What are you talking about?"
"I caught him staring at your picture," he said, picking up the photo album.
"Oh my god, what are you doing leaving stuff like that out – wait, he was staring at my
picture? Did he recognize me?" she asked, fear sticking out all over her like quills.
"Apparently not – though you have to admit you look a little different when you're not
covered from head to toe!" he laughed, remembering the first time she put on boy's
clothing. It took several weeks for them to get her walk, voice, and mannerisms down,
but the clothes had been the ultimate transformation for her. He really wasn't surprised
that Hamilton hadn't recognized her in the pictures.
"So? What did he say?" she asked, embarrassed to be asking but dying to know.
-----
Hamilton returned from the dining hall balancing 3 cokes in his hands. He figured he had
better be nice to Greg for a while – even though in general the guy kind of bugged him.
He seemed cool to Jake, but he had a smart-ass attitude that grated on him.
It didn't even surprise him when Greg started hanging out with Ryder – they seemed to
have the same kind of humor, though he had to admit, Greg wasn't anywhere near as
mean. The up side of that friendship was that Greg spent a lot less time with Jake, which
suited Hamilton just fine.
He managed to make it all the way to Jake's door in his fog of rumination. He was just
about to knock when he heard Jake's voice through the slightly open door.
"So? What did he say?" Jake said, his voice sounding higher than normal.
"Well," Greg started, dragging out the word for dramatic flourish, "I said, 'She's cute,
don't you think?' and when he got done turning beet red he said 'definitely. Beyond
cute.'"
Hamilton stood frozen in the hallway, mortified that Greg was ratting on him. He
continued to listen because he couldn't move.
"Quit worrying so much – he had no idea that was you in the pictures. How could he?
Your face is covered in both of them, and your hair is different."
Greg's tone turned more serious before he continued, "I think you should tell him, Jake.
Tell him you're a girl, and see if he feels the same way about you."
Out in the hallway Hamilton nearly dropped the Cokes all over the floor in his surprise.
"Jake's a girl?" he thought as he slowly backed away from the door.
Part 5
Hamilton walked down to the lake to think.
He mulled over what he had heard as he absently tossed rocks into the lake. Trying to
reconcile the girl in the photo album with the person he thought was his best friend
proved to be a difficult task. Logically, it was easy – Jake didn't make the most
masculine of boys, and now the baggy, layered clothing made a lot more sense – but
emotionally, he was conflicted.
Part of him was angry that Jake hadn't told him – he was no narc, even if he was the
dean's son, and a good friend would have realized he could be trusted. The other part of
him was mulling over what Greg said – 'see if he feels the same way about you'. What
did that mean? Did Jake like him? How could he have missed that?
He gave up on the rocks and headed back home. He always came down to the lake when
he wanted to think and it usually calmed him, but today his emotions were much too
turbulent for the water to work its magic.
------
The next day he tried to act normally around Jake. After a sleepless night he finally
arrived at the decision to sit back and observe Jake a little closer. He thought he needed to
know a bit more about Jake before he confronted her – and he wanted to give her the
chance to tell him herself.
Over the course of the night he decided that his best friend being a girl was not
necessarily a bad thing – especially one who looked as good as she did in Greg's pictures.
Not that looks were * that * important, but… his mind kept stealing back to the pictures
and mentally etched them onto his heart. What he needed to know now was exactly how
she felt about him.
He had a plan to find out exactly what she felt – and maybe see if he could feel the same.
------
When Greg came back to the room at the end of the school day he found Jake lying on
her bed looking dazed. She was lying on her back with her knees up and one hand
absently twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she stared up at the ceiling. She
didn't react when he walked in the door, which piqued his curiosity.
He flopped down next to her and raised his arms behind his head.
"So – what's so fascinating about the ceiling today? Did you find some hidden message
in the patterns? Anything we could sell to the National Enquirer?" he asked in a teasing
tone, trying to get a reaction out of her.
She let out a deep breath, raked both her hands through her hair, and then let them fall
beside her limply. Without looking directly at him she said, "I was just thinking how
unfair it is that men get to walk around without shirts."
"Hamilton stripped down for crew practice again, huh?" he replied, smiling.
"Yup – but he always does that – why do you think I'm still on the team? You know I'm
not much of a joiner." she smiled in spite of herself at the thought, but quickly returned to
her troubled reverie.
"After practice these stupid girls showed up and were hanging all over the guys -
especially Ham. Not that I blame them, but god – its so hard to watch. He was enjoying
the attention * way * too much… and he kept glancing at me. I have no idea what that
was about – was I supposed to start flirting with those girls too?" she shuddered at the
thought.
"So, what did you do?"
"What do you think? I made an excuse and got the hell out of there. So here I sit – trying
to control every illogical feeling in my body." She said irritably.
"Well – I know how that goes," Greg said wryly before sitting up so he could look down
at her. He made a series of goofy faces at her to try and make her laugh, and when she got
up off the bed in disgust he got frustrated.
"There's an easy way to solve your problem – just tell him you're a girl. I don't know
why you've waited this long anyway," he said as he met her glare from across the room.
She was in no mood to be cheered up and, judging by the defensive posture she took at
his suggestion, not in the mood to be challenged either.
"How can I tell him? I've lied to him from day one; don't you think he'll be angry about
that? And just because I have all these feelings for him doesn't mean he's suddenly going
to fall in love with me because I'm female." she said, anger rising in her. "What if he
prefers those blond bimbettes to tomboys – then I'll have screwed up the best friendship
I've ever had over nothing."
Greg looked at her in disbelief.
"Why would you think he wouldn't like you? He's already seen your picture – we know
he definitely likes the way you look," he said, grinning at the blush he saw creeping over
cheeks.
"Besides, the two of you have a really good friendship. So how is he going to lose if he
finds out his best friend is this incredibly cute girl who is completely in love with him?
Where is this insecurity coming from? The Jacqueline I met at Wheatley did not have
these confidence problems." He looked at her quizzically, truly baffled by her reluctance.
"The Jacqueline you first met hadn't lost a boyfriend to another guy yet either." She
deadpanned.
"That hurts. Ouch. Shit…. I'm sorry about that… about not telling you first." He sighed
deeply and continued, "I should have – but I wasn't sure how. Please don't think its your
fault though – you did not turn me gay!"
He tried to get her to look him in the eye and when she wouldn't he got up from the bed
and grabbed her hand, dragging her over to the mirror.
"There is no way a girl this beautiful is going to disappoint him," he said, standing behind
her. "Give him a chance to know who you really are."
Part 6
Over the past week he had done everything he could think of to gauge how she felt about
him and still she hadn't felt the need to tell him her secret. He thought he noticed her
blush when he took his shirt off at crew practice, but he supposed it could have been the
cold air – after all, she wasn't getting any exercise during practice. The way she jerked
slightly when he brushed her hand while passing papers back in class could have been
nothing – just a fluke.
What wasn't a fluke was the way his heart started to beat a little faster when she was
around, and the way he could feel himself smiling when he thought of her – which
seemed to be non-stop lately. He decided that it was finally time to force the issue – he
was reluctant to tell her he knew, but he was determined that if she hadn't spilled by the
end of the day, he would have to – no matter what she thought of him for eavesdropping.
-------
Later that afternoon they were up on the roof taking pictures – his mother had requested
some new pictures for the school brochure with the fall foliage around the lake, and Jake
agreed to come along. The roof provided the best view of the lake as well as the privacy
he needed to get Jake to open up to him.
"I used to come up here all the time when I was little – it was kind of my hiding place,"
he said as he fit a wide-angle lens onto his camera. "Did you have any place like that
back home?"
"Who me? My mother was never home enough to bother to hide from her – if I wanted to
be alone, I had an entire apartment to myself," she said somewhat bitterly. "I suppose
that's the up-side of boarding school – there's always someone around. Even if you don't
actually want to talk to them…" she said in a more positive tone.
"I used to wish I had this place to myself – there were always too many people around.
There was never a time when it was just my folks and me – even when school's not in
session there's still faculty around, and prospective students touring with their parents. I
guess that's why I like it up here – it's removed from all that," he said as he handed her
the camera to hold onto while he put the lens and camera cases back in his equipment
bag. He stood up and gestured with his head for her to follow.
They moved over to the west side of the building where the lake was visible. Jake was
looking through the viewfinder of the camera when a sly smile spread across her face.
"Dude, I think I just figured out why you * really * like it up here," she said knowingly.
"You've got a perfect view of the girls' campus from up here – and I know you've got a
few telephoto lenses in there…."
"Give me that," he demanded, taking the camera from her and pretending to be offended,
"I'll have you know, the last time I used the telephoto lens I was taking pictures of you."
He didn't want her to think he was just some horn dog who leered after girls all day.
"Excuse me – you were taking pictures of me?" she asked in alarm.
"What, you don't like your picture taken, Jake? I noticed your bike when you first
arrived, so I took some pictures. Does it bother you that I have photographic evidence of
your illicit activity on campus?" he said, grinning.
He snapped a few shots of the lake then replaced the telephoto lens with the normal one.
When he looked back up at her he noticed that her chewing on her bottom lip, still
looking a little freaked.
"What? Do you really dislike having your picture taken that much?" he asked, teasing
her.
"Naw… its just that I don't like people spying on me… Hey what are you doing? You're
supposed to be taking pictures of foliage, not me!" she complained, using her arms to
cover her face. She was laughing as he circled around her with the camera constantly
clicking.
He decided to stop torturing her. Moving closer to her he gently lowered her arm with his
left hand. Her face was flushed from laughing and spinning around and she inhaled
sharply when she opened her eyes to see him so close. He looked into her beautiful hazel
eyes for a moment before he impulsively leaned in to kiss her. His heart was pounding as
he felt the softness of her lips and he tried to pull her in closer.
At first she seemed to respond to the kiss – but after a moment she seemed to fully
comprehend that he was kissing her and she roughly pushed him away.
She slowly backed away from him, a look of heart-wrenching sadness on her face.
"Not again," she said bitterly, as she fled from the roof. Hamilton watched her run away
from him; shock strangled his voice and rendered him immobile.
"What did I do wrong?" he thought.
*******
Jake flew down the stairs, her feet barely touching the steps, and wrenched open the door
to her floor. Ignoring the surprised looks from some random guys in the common room,
she ran to her room. Once inside she grabbed her bike keys off of her desk, threw on her
leather jacket, and headed for the door again, nearly running into Greg.
"Where are you running off to in such a hurry?"
"Get out of my way," she said, her voice dangerously cold.
"Jake, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked with concern.
"I can't do this again, Greg. I just can't," she said sharply and pushed him out of her way,
leaving him to stare after her in astonishment.
Part 7
"It's been three hours – where the hell could she be?" Greg thought as he paced back and
forth in the narrow dorm room he shared with Jake. He was still confused by her outburst,
but as he watched the skies grow darker he was becoming more concerned about her. She
was a good driver, but the storm clouds that were rolling in did not look friendly to angry
teenage girls on motorcycles. The first crack of lightning motivated him to go out looking
for her.
He tried the common room first to see if anyone had seen her, then the library, and finally
the game room. At first he didn't see anyone, but a metallic * thunk * told him that there
was somebody around the corner with the dartboards.
When he turned the corner he found Hamilton there, viciously throwing darts at the board
with no thought to aiming. He cleared his throat to get Hamilton's attention and nearly
got a dart right between the eyes for his efforts.
"Don't you know better than to sneak up on people like that?" Hamilton said as he
reluctantly lowered the dart. He did not seem pleased to see Greg – not that he ever did,
but even less than usual.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for Jake – he took off on his bike several hours ago
and I haven't seen him come back."
Hamilton hurled another dart at the board angrily before he said, "I think you can drop
the 'He' – don't you? You're not all worried about how 'He' is – you're worried about
your damn girlfriend."
* Thunk * went another dart.
Greg was stunned. "Girlfriend – wait, you know Jake's not a…"
"Not a boy, yes, I know," he said bitterly. Thunk.
"Then you also must know she's not my girlfriend anymore – she's in love with you, not
me," he said matter-of-factly.
"She's definitely not into me – she proved that today," Hamilton said with a deep sigh.
He began clearing the darts from the board so he could start again.
"What happened today to make you think that?" Greg asked, completely confused.
"Why should I tell you? You won – go enjoy it. You're already in close proximity, I'll
gladly just step out of the way…" said Hamilton, looking not the least bit 'glad' at the
prospect. He resumed slowly hurling darts at the board, one after the other. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk.
"Dude, I can guarantee she's not interested in me. We're just friends and that's all we'll
ever be – all we ever can be."
Hamilton turned to Greg with a furious look in his eye. "Well, then explain to me why
she took off running when I kissed her. She looked horrified. I don't think I'm that
offensive, so I assumed she must still have feelings for you."
"Did she say anything?"
"Naw," Hamilton said, shaking his head, "She just said 'not again' and ran. I didn't get it,
but whatever."
Greg smiled ruefully – he knew exactly what happened now. "You didn't tell her you
knew her secret before you swooped in on her?"
"I didn't 'swoop' – and no, I didn't get a chance," Hamilton said, looking insulted.
Greg sat down wearily on the arm of one of the club chairs against the wall, guilt making
his whole body feel heavy. "Dude – she ran because she thinks you're gay."
"Gay – why would she think that? I don't look gay, do I?" Hamilton asked, his brow
furrowed with worry.
"No – but then, most gay men don't 'look' gay," he said testily, "Which is part of the
problem with Jake." He looked up at Hamilton to see complete confusion.
"Her first boyfriend turned out to be gay – so you could see how she might be a little
freaked out if some guy who is supposed to believe she's a guy kisses her out of the
blue."
"Shit, yeah, I could see how that would freak her out. Damn." Hamilton put the darts on
the table and sat on the arm of the other club chair.
"It was a pretty shitty thing to do – using her as cover so no one else would figure me out
– but I've been trying to make it up to her," said Greg, not looking at Hamilton. He still
wasn't comfortable telling people – and now Hamilton made three people at Rawley that
knew about him. He nervously glanced over at Hamilton to see the younger boy grinning
from ear to ear.
"Man – that has got to be the best news I have heard all day! I have spent the last several
hours picturing your face on that dart board – Dude, you have no idea how much I hated
you being around her… it was driving me crazy, once I knew."
Greg smiled slyly at Hamilton. "I think you hated me long before you knew about Jake –
you've been looking pretty green around me since the first day!"
Hamilton blushed and nodded, admitting to his irrational dislike for Greg.
A loud crack of thunder startled them both, and Greg was reminded of his original
purpose – to find Jake. He asked if Hamilton had any idea where she might have gone.
"She might have gone down by the falls on the other side of town – it's a good 'thinking
spot' I showed her once. Do you have a car?"
******
"So, how far is it to this place?" Greg asked when they were on their way in his jeep.
"It's about half an hour away – but you might want to get some gas before we go too far
– you're almost empty," said Hamilton, pointing to the gas gauge.
Greg groaned – Jake borrowed the jeep over the weekend so she could go shopping in
another town and hadn't filled up the tank when she brought it back. "Typical…" he
muttered to himself. She had a tendency to forget those kinds of details.
"There's a gas station up ahead – I guess that will do," he said as he headed for the sign
that read "Charlie's Gas and Towing".
When they pulled into the station a cute blond girl came out of the main office to pump
their gas, followed by a tall blond boy. Greg got out of the car to pump the gas, but the
girl waved him away with a smile and proceeded to do it for him.
"Hey Will – what are you doing here?" asked Hamilton.
"Just visiting my friend Bella here," said Will, gesturing to the blond girl, who smiled
and waved. "What are doing out and about on a night like this? This storm's could break
any minute – not good cruising weather."
"We were out looking for Jake – he took off hours ago on his bike and hasn't come back
yet. With the storm coming we were a little worried."
Hamilton noticed that Will looked at Bella before he answered slowly, "No… haven't
seen Jake today...why are you guys so worried? Jake seems like he could take care of
himself."
Hamilton noticed the hint of amusement in Will's voice and the way he and the Bella
kept looking at each other, like they had some secret they were struggling to hold in. He
dismissed it as flirtation – there definitely seemed to be a vibe between them.
Greg, who joined them on the passenger side of the jeep, was just about to cut in and
answer Will's question when they heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching.
"Speak of the devil…" said Will wryly, as Jake pulled into the station. She looked
shocked when she spotted the jeep. She turned off the engine and removed her helmet,
running her fingers through her hair to fix the helmet-head look. Finally she noticed that
all four of them were staring at her.
"What – have I turned green or something?" she asked. She got off the bike and walked
towards them reluctantly as Bella started filling her gas tank for her. Hamilton tried to
catch her eye but she refused to look at him. She focused instead on Greg as she joined
the small gathering on the passenger side of the car.
"Jake – we were just about to start looking for you. Where've you been?" Greg asked.
"Out. I had stuff to think about – just felt like being alone. No big deal – no need to call
out the National Guard," she said sarcastically. She was very aware of Hamilton staring
at her, as well as Will and his friend Bella, whom she met during the summer when she
stopped for gas. All the scrutiny was making her very uncomfortable.
Greg tried to lighten the tension. "Well, now that you're here… you can pay for my gas,
since you forgot to fill it up last time you borrowed the jeep. And you can let me take the
bike back to Rawley – you owe me. Big time," Greg said as he dangled his keys in front
of her and took the helmet from her hand. With a resigned expression she took the keys
from him.
As he passed by her towards the bike he whispered, "He knew." That startled her. She
slowly turned towards the jeep and saw Hamilton leaning out of the passenger window
grinning at her. She looked at the ground for a moment, then back up at him, a wide smile
spreading across her face. She hardly heard Greg start her bike, and neither she nor
Hamilton looked at him when he pulled away.
"Pay the woman already, Jake. I'm sure she's got better things to do," he said, teasing
her.
She pulled out some money from her pocket, handed it to Bella, and walked around to
climb into the jeep. It took concentrated effort for her to maintain her cool and not skip
around the vehicle or some other girly kind of thing.
"Later guys – I'll see you back at the dorms," called Will, reminding both of them that
they were not alone.
"Umm… yeah, later, Will. Nice to meet you Bella," said Hamilton, while Jake merely
waved before starting the engine and pulling out of the gas station onto the dark streets of
New Rawley.
Will and Bella watched them pull away until they were out of sight. As soon as they were
gone Bella held out her hand to Will, palm up. "Pay up."
"No way – I still think you're wrong," he insisted half-heartedly. After tonight he knew
she was right, but he wanted to make her work for it.
"You saw the way they were looking at each other. If that's not proof enough, then
explain to me why Jake doesn't have an Adam's apple. Hmm? Got any bright ideas for
that one? Hah… I didn't notice it when I saw her here last summer, but there's proof I'm
right – Jake's a girl, no question about it. So pay up." Bella looked up at Will and
grinned. Will sighed, dug his wallet out of his back pocket and produced a $20 bill.
He just couldn't say no to that face.
Part 8
Jake and Hamilton rode in silence until they turned off on the road to Rawley Academy.
"Take the next left up ahead – I think we need to talk before we go up to the dorms."
Jake merely nodded vigorously and complied. The road she turned onto was a short dirt
road that led to the west side of Rawley Lake, out of sight of both campuses. She pulled
into a clearing near the edge of the lake and cut the engine. Hamilton got out of the
vehicle and walked over to the edge of the water. The wind created choppy waves in the
normally calm lake, but still there was no sign of the rain.
After a moments hesitation Jake joined him in looking out over the violent water as the
wind whipped through their hair. They stood side by side in silence for a moment, neither
one sure who should start.
Hamilton finally made the first move by clasping her hand in his. She looked at him in
surprise and he pulled her towards him. He kissed her fiercely – the moment their lips
met all the passion they had been hiding came pouring out. He released her hand so he
could cup her face in both hands and stroke the soft skin of her cheeks. A soft moan
escaped her and she entwined her hands in his hair, pulling him in closer.
Their kisses grew deeper and more passionate until finally Jake pulled away, her
breathing ragged and uneven. He kissed her forehead, both cheeks, and finally her lips
one last time. She dropped her head to his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her,
holding her close.
They stayed in that position until they felt the first heavy drops of rain and heard the loud
clap of thunder. The storm had finally broken and the rain quickly grew heavy. Laughing
they both ran back to the jeep. Once inside Hamilton drew her towards him for another
kiss – but she pulled away.
Seeing the hurt look on his face she stifled a laugh and explained. "The jeep is not made
for comfort," she said, gesturing to the gearshift separating them, "so maybe we should
go back to the dorms. We have a lot to talk about and …"
"This probably isn't the best place for that discussion," he cut in.
"The dorms it is then," he said and smiled.
-------
The next morning Jake awoke when she heard a soft knocking on her door. She quickly
threw on some baggy sweats and opened the door a crack to find Greg on the other side
grinning.
"Is it safe to come in?" Greg asked while doing the silly eyebrow wiggle he always used
when he teased her. She shot him an annoyed look and opened the door to let him in.
"So… where is he?"
"He's at home sleeping in his own bed where he should be – what did you really expect?"
she snipped.
"I didn't know what to expect - but I thought you could use the privacy, so I made sure to
stay away for the night. So… what happened? Spill!" He demanded.
She sat down on her bed and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs. She
sighed and told him about the hours she and Hamilton spent talking (mostly) before he
finally left at 3 A.M. to go to sleep.
"Just talking – that's it? I slept on somebody else's floor so you two could 'talk' all night
long?" Greg said indignantly. She looked up sharply and examined him for a moment,
then broke out into a wide grin.
"I know why you are so interested in what happened – you've got your own dirt to spill!
Come on, you know I'm right. What happened? You didn't give up your bed last night
just for little old me. Where have * you * been all night?" she asked, turning the tables on
him and grinning at the way his face flushed bright red.
"Umm… actually, I do have news for you. I'll be moving out by the end of the week."
"What does that have to do with - oh. I get it. So who's the new roommate – can I assume
it would be the same person you stayed with last night?"
"Yeah, you could assume that," he said, before dropping his bombshell.
"I'll be moving in with Ryder. I guess you could say we're…'kindred spirits'."
Jake's jaw dropped.
"Ryder? Are you serious?" she asked in amazement, trying to picture the two of them
together.
"No – I just wanted to see your reaction," he deadpanned.
"Of course I'm serious – would I lie about something like this?"
Author: Sue
E-mail: ruststar@aol.com
Category: Jake/Ham
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated in any way with Young Americans or the WB.
Summary: Jake's ex-boyfriend shows up at Rawley.
Thanks: To Debba for all the help – and for having such a good eye for detail!
Author's Note: Response to Carol's "Seeing Green Challenge". Challenge constraints
dictated that I had to change things around a little. Jake didn't kiss Ham on the roof, and
in this story she has gone into fall quarter without anyone discovering her secret.
Part 1
Hamilton spent most of moving in day on the roof of the boy's dorms with his camera,
just like he had been ever since the hormones kicked in at age 11 – it had the best view of
the girls campus.
It didn't feel the same this time; his heart just wasn't into ogling the new girls. He spent
most of the afternoon opting for shots of the landscape surrounding Rawley Academy
instead of the bikini-clad girls on the docks.
As the afternoon wore on he finally had to admit to himself the fact that he was really
scanning the campus for Jake's arrival on campus. He'd missed hanging out with Jake
over the break - over the summer they had quickly become good friends, making Jake the
first real friend Hamilton ever had. It had been lonely growing up at a boarding school,
and he had been drawn to the only student that seemed just as lonely as he was.
They had a lot in common - liked the same music, movies, and video games, and he
could actually talk to Jake about - anything. He seemed different from the other guys at
Rawley in some indefinable way, though, and Hamilton hadn't yet figured out why Jake
was rarely far from his thoughts.
Finally he saw a motorcycle approaching from a distance. He knew it couldn't be anyone
else when the rider pulled off onto a side path blocked from sight by the woods. Hamilton
smiled happily as he stuffed his camera back into its case and headed down to greet his
friend.
------
Jake parked her bike in her usual hiding spot and turned off the engine. She looked up at
the Rawley Academy dorms peaking through the trees and sighed. Another quarter
pretending to be a boy was not something she looked forward to, yet here she was, about
to start the charade all over again.
The entire time she had been home in New York she had analyzed the wisdom of her
decision to return to Rawley. Her extreme actions had gone completely unnoticed by her
mother, so there was no good reason to continue. She could have easily switched to
another school and started the school year as Jacqueline again, but she couldn't bring
herself to make the arrangements. It was ironic - after six schools she finally felt like she
fit in and it happened to be at a school where she most definitely did not belong. But she
fit.
Most of that was because of Hamilton. Their friendship made being at Rawley so much
easier. Her mind kept returning to the last conversation she had with Hamilton before she
left for New York. -He said he'd miss me- she thought, and she finally admitted to
herself that she had made her decision right then. Ridiculous as it might seem, it was
worth it to hide, just to be near him.
She shook her head, as if to clear the thoughts from her mind, and got off the bike. It was
time to become 'Jake' again, and she couldn't start out the school year full of mushy girl
thoughts about being in love with her best friend.
------
Hamilton's mother spotted him before he could make it down to the hiding spot where
Jake hid his bike.
"Hamilton, could you help me out for a few minutes honey?" she asked. She was
standing near the entrance to the dorms with a tall blond boy in sunglasses who looked to
be about 17.
"Sure Mom, what is it?" he asked, even though he already knew what she wanted. He
was always roped into campus tours when a new student showed up.
She smiled gratefully at Hamilton before formally introducing him to the new boy.
"Hamilton, this is Gregor Newcomb, he's just transferred from Wheatley Academy.
Gregor, this is my son Hamilton. You won't be in the same classes because this is
Hamilton's first year, but you'll at least have one familiar face on campus!"
"Will you show our new student where his room is? I have to run back to the office and
take care of all his paperwork. The two of you can get to know each other along the
way!" she said cheerfully. Hamilton rolled his eyes at the older boy, who smirked in
response, but he said yes. His mom was always doing this - she just didn't like going into
the boy's dorm. "It always has this hormonal smell to it", she'd say. After a few more
pleasantries she finally escaped back to her office, leaving Ham with the new boy.
"Nobody calls me Gregor, by the way, just Greg." said the new boy, as he offered a hand
to Hamilton.
"Yeah, I figured by the way you cringed when she said it!" Hamilton asked, as he shook
the taller boys hand. He examined the newcomer closely. He developed a knack for
pegging people after so many years around the school, and he had a feeling this guy was
not the usual preppy.
He was nearly half a foot taller than Hamilton, and fairly well built. He seemed to be in
good shape, but didn't seem athletically inclined. His style of dress was subtly different
from most of the students at Rawley - it wasn't something obvious, but more of a general
impression that he had an individual style that was going to make him stand out, no
matter who he was around. It was in the way he carried himself. Must be from the west
coast, definitely - thought Hamilton, as he led the way into the dorm.
"So, which room are you assigned to?" Hamilton asked.
"214. Your mom said normally a junior wouldn't be on the 2nd floor with the
sophomores, but since I enrolled so late, I was stuck, at least until something opened up
later." Greg said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh boy – that's Jake's room." Hamilton shook his head and smiled, knowing how Jake
was going to react to the news. He'd never met somebody more protective of his privacy.
"I should have known - he's the only sophomore left without a roommate. Hmmm, well, I
guess he'll just have to deal with it – it probably won't be for long. The room is right up
the stairs and to the right. I saw him arrive a few minutes ago, but I doubt he's in there
yet."
Greg stopped in his tracks. "Did you say Jake? Are you talking about Jake Pratt?" he
asked.
"Yeah – how'd you know? Do you know him?" asked Hamilton, confused.
"Oh yeah," he said, as a sly grin spread across his face, "Jake and I go way back." He
gestured for Hamilton to lead the way up to his room as he tried to keep from laughing.
He was pretty sure he knew how Jake would react to having a roommate, and he was
looking forward to seeing the look on her face when she saw who it was.
Part 2
Jake was surprised to see the door to her room standing open as she turned right at the top
of the stairs. Her surprise turned to apprehension when she saw that an extra bed had
been placed in the already cramped room. The open suitcase on the bed told her that she
must have company, but there was nobody in sight.
She sat down on the edge of the other bed, thoughts racing through her head. She stared
numbly at the wall for a moment, contemplating the wisdom of breaking into tears. Her
whole charade couldn't last under 24-hour scrutiny, so a roommate basically meant that
she was going to have to leave. Her shoulders slumped at the thought, and with great
effort she dragged herself up from the bed over to the window.
She gazed out the window at the sprawling campus. Kids were running back and forth
dragging both parents and luggage behind them. The whole atmosphere was one of
excitement and anticipation, reminding her that only moments before she had been
feeling that as well. A deep sigh escaped her, as if letting out the last ounce of her
happiness.
As she turned back to the bed to pick up her keys, helmet, and backpack she heard
Hamilton's voice approaching in the hallway.
"God, what did you pack in here? Did you bring everything you own?" Hamilton
complained.
"Just my CD collection and enough clothes to last for a few days…"a familiar voice
answered, and her heart jumped into her throat.
Hamilton saw her first as he entered the room, and he grinned broadly at her after he
dropped a duffel bag large enough for stuffing a body onto the floor. She felt the familiar
warmth spread through her body at the sight of him, but she didn't have a chance to
respond. Her new roommate walked through the door carrying an equally large suitcase
that he tossed on the bed before standing next to Hamilton.
"How's it going Jake?" said Greg, with a wicked look in his eye. "It's been a long time –
did you miss me?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her from behind Hamilton, trying to make
her laugh.
She wasn't about to let Greg blow her cool, however, and replied, "Nope. Not a bit," she
smiled at the fake look of disappointment he affected. She continued, "But if I had to
have a roommate, I guess you'll do" she said, reluctantly. She didn't like the idea, but it
was definitely better than the alternative – at least she didn't have to pretend to be a boy
around Greg, and she knew she could trust him to keep his mouth shut. He was very good
at secrets – she knew that from experience.
"I'm kind of confused though – why are you here? What happened at Wheatley?" she
looked quizzically at the boy that stirred up so many memories for her. Her first kiss, her
first romantic disappointment, and her first lessons in how to be a boy.
With a sigh he opened up the suitcase on the bed and began separating the contents on the
bed. "That's kind of a long story," he said, sitting down on the bed, "I'll have to tell you
later". His pointed look at Hamilton reminded her that Hamilton was still in the room.
Hamilton got the hint, and excused himself. He looked irritated, but was gone before she
could say anything. She glared at Greg for chasing Hamilton out of the room so rudely,
but quickly saw there was no point. He had no way of knowing how she felt about
Hamilton, and probably didn't even know how well she knew him.
"Are you mad at me for showing up here?" he asked quietly. She looked at her former
boyfriend – the one that had turned into a good friend – with compassion. She knew that
his smart-ass attitude was mostly an act, so she couldn't stay angry with him. He had
been through almost as many schools as she had, so she knew how he was feeling at that
moment.
"I'm not mad – you just scared the hell out of me, that's all. God, if I had to share a room
with anyone else I was going to have to pack and leave again." She rolled her eyes at the
thought. She crossed the room to shut the door and sat down next to him on the bed.
"Roommates, yeah, umm… is that going to bother you?" he asked.
"Greg, we both know I'm safer with you than anyone else. I mean, we established that
right before I left Wheatley – you know, after…" she trailed off not wanting to embarrass
him.
"After…oh. After you saw me with Adam." He blushed deeply at the memory.
"Like I told you before, I'm not mad about that. I never was. I wasn't even really
surprised."
"You weren't? What, do I just scream 'gay' or something?" he asked indignantly.
"No, no, nothing like that." She searched for the right words to explain what she meant.
"I could tell when you kissed me." She continued when she saw the hurt look on his face,
"Don't get me wrong, you were fine, technically proficient, but… I could tell your heart
wasn't really in it."
"Plus, when you were helping me prepare for this," gesturing towards her manner of
dress, "You looked at me a lot differently than you did when I dressed like a girl!" she
laughed and ducked out of his reach when he tried to grab her. He chased her around the
room, finally cornering her and pinning her against the closet door.
He looked down at her and said, " Well, you do make a pretty cute guy, y'know…"
"Yeah, I know," she said with a straight face. That got them both laughing again. She
began to think it might be kind of fun to have Greg for a roommate – almost like having a
girlfriend.
Part 3
Jake sighed, running her fingers through her short hair. She and Hamilton had been in
her room studying for their history exam for only 15 minutes when she realized she
didn't have her notebook.
"Shit – I have to go get my notebook. I must have left it down by the docks when we had
class today."
"No big deal - I wanted to get organized before we got too far into this studying mode
anyway," said Hamilton, perfectly happy to delay studying as long as possible. Jake took
off, and he got up from the desk to stretch. Just the thought of preparing for this test made
him tired.
He began poking through the pile of CD's over on Greg's desk, looking for something to
keep him awake. As he looked through the titles he noticed a photo album lying on the
desk, one of those kind from a one-hour photo-developing place. He picked it up and
began paging through the book.
The album obviously belonged to Greg – he was in some of the shots. There were a few
group shots, several shots of random boys, and two shots of a girl.
These last two caught his eye because the girl was stunningly beautiful – tall and slim,
with chin length black hair cut in a bob. In one picture she was wearing a red halter-top
and cut-off shorts that showed off a great figure – perfect abs, great legs and smooth,
sculpted shoulders. She was standing with one roller blade on, and the other on the
ground, laughing with one hand obscuring most of her face.
The other picture was with Greg, and looked like it was from some kind of formal dance.
Although her face was turned mostly away from the camera he knew it was the same girl
because of the hair and the shoulders, exposed by the pale-green strapless satin dress she
was wearing.
"He's got good taste in girls, I'll give him that much," he thought. He was about to put
the album down when he heard Greg behind him.
"She's cute, don't you think?" Greg said, barely containing a smile when he saw how
much he had surprised Hamilton. The younger boy had been staring so intently at the
pictures he thought there would be holes burned into them.
Hamilton felt like sinking into the floor – Jake wouldn't have cared if he snooped, but he
didn't know Greg. He dropped the album back on the desk, and turned around slowly,
blushing furiously.
"Umm, yeah - definitely. Beyond cute. Who is she?"
Greg looked at him quizzically before he answered slowly, "She's … an old girlfriend.
We're good friends now, so I kept the pictures."
Hamilton calmed down when he realized Greg wasn't going to blast him for snooping
through his stuff, but he still wanted to get out of there fast.
"I have to go. Go get something to drink, I mean. Could you tell Jake I'll be back soon?"
He said as he backed his way out of the room. Once in the hallway he practically ran
down the hallway to the stairs. He needed some air, so he decided to grab some cokes
from the dining hall and wait for Jake to get back. He wasn't going back in that room
unless Jake was there.
Part 4
When Jake came back a few minutes later she was surprised to find Greg present and
Hamilton gone.
"Did you chase Hamilton away again?" she said irritably. Over the last few weeks she
had noticed that whenever Greg was in the room Hamilton wouldn't stick around. It
really bothered her that Hamilton seemed to resent Greg's presence, and that Greg made
no effort to change that. He found it amusing that Hamilton was jealous of their
friendship –and he delighted in teasing her about her feelings for Hamilton.
"No – this time her ran all by himself." He said with a huge grin.
"I learned something really interesting though," he said, lifting his eyebrows suggestively
at her, "he thinks you're cute!"
Stunned, and confused, she asked, "What are you talking about?"
"I caught him staring at your picture," he said, picking up the photo album.
"Oh my god, what are you doing leaving stuff like that out – wait, he was staring at my
picture? Did he recognize me?" she asked, fear sticking out all over her like quills.
"Apparently not – though you have to admit you look a little different when you're not
covered from head to toe!" he laughed, remembering the first time she put on boy's
clothing. It took several weeks for them to get her walk, voice, and mannerisms down,
but the clothes had been the ultimate transformation for her. He really wasn't surprised
that Hamilton hadn't recognized her in the pictures.
"So? What did he say?" she asked, embarrassed to be asking but dying to know.
-----
Hamilton returned from the dining hall balancing 3 cokes in his hands. He figured he had
better be nice to Greg for a while – even though in general the guy kind of bugged him.
He seemed cool to Jake, but he had a smart-ass attitude that grated on him.
It didn't even surprise him when Greg started hanging out with Ryder – they seemed to
have the same kind of humor, though he had to admit, Greg wasn't anywhere near as
mean. The up side of that friendship was that Greg spent a lot less time with Jake, which
suited Hamilton just fine.
He managed to make it all the way to Jake's door in his fog of rumination. He was just
about to knock when he heard Jake's voice through the slightly open door.
"So? What did he say?" Jake said, his voice sounding higher than normal.
"Well," Greg started, dragging out the word for dramatic flourish, "I said, 'She's cute,
don't you think?' and when he got done turning beet red he said 'definitely. Beyond
cute.'"
Hamilton stood frozen in the hallway, mortified that Greg was ratting on him. He
continued to listen because he couldn't move.
"Quit worrying so much – he had no idea that was you in the pictures. How could he?
Your face is covered in both of them, and your hair is different."
Greg's tone turned more serious before he continued, "I think you should tell him, Jake.
Tell him you're a girl, and see if he feels the same way about you."
Out in the hallway Hamilton nearly dropped the Cokes all over the floor in his surprise.
"Jake's a girl?" he thought as he slowly backed away from the door.
Part 5
Hamilton walked down to the lake to think.
He mulled over what he had heard as he absently tossed rocks into the lake. Trying to
reconcile the girl in the photo album with the person he thought was his best friend
proved to be a difficult task. Logically, it was easy – Jake didn't make the most
masculine of boys, and now the baggy, layered clothing made a lot more sense – but
emotionally, he was conflicted.
Part of him was angry that Jake hadn't told him – he was no narc, even if he was the
dean's son, and a good friend would have realized he could be trusted. The other part of
him was mulling over what Greg said – 'see if he feels the same way about you'. What
did that mean? Did Jake like him? How could he have missed that?
He gave up on the rocks and headed back home. He always came down to the lake when
he wanted to think and it usually calmed him, but today his emotions were much too
turbulent for the water to work its magic.
------
The next day he tried to act normally around Jake. After a sleepless night he finally
arrived at the decision to sit back and observe Jake a little closer. He thought he needed to
know a bit more about Jake before he confronted her – and he wanted to give her the
chance to tell him herself.
Over the course of the night he decided that his best friend being a girl was not
necessarily a bad thing – especially one who looked as good as she did in Greg's pictures.
Not that looks were * that * important, but… his mind kept stealing back to the pictures
and mentally etched them onto his heart. What he needed to know now was exactly how
she felt about him.
He had a plan to find out exactly what she felt – and maybe see if he could feel the same.
------
When Greg came back to the room at the end of the school day he found Jake lying on
her bed looking dazed. She was lying on her back with her knees up and one hand
absently twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she stared up at the ceiling. She
didn't react when he walked in the door, which piqued his curiosity.
He flopped down next to her and raised his arms behind his head.
"So – what's so fascinating about the ceiling today? Did you find some hidden message
in the patterns? Anything we could sell to the National Enquirer?" he asked in a teasing
tone, trying to get a reaction out of her.
She let out a deep breath, raked both her hands through her hair, and then let them fall
beside her limply. Without looking directly at him she said, "I was just thinking how
unfair it is that men get to walk around without shirts."
"Hamilton stripped down for crew practice again, huh?" he replied, smiling.
"Yup – but he always does that – why do you think I'm still on the team? You know I'm
not much of a joiner." she smiled in spite of herself at the thought, but quickly returned to
her troubled reverie.
"After practice these stupid girls showed up and were hanging all over the guys -
especially Ham. Not that I blame them, but god – its so hard to watch. He was enjoying
the attention * way * too much… and he kept glancing at me. I have no idea what that
was about – was I supposed to start flirting with those girls too?" she shuddered at the
thought.
"So, what did you do?"
"What do you think? I made an excuse and got the hell out of there. So here I sit – trying
to control every illogical feeling in my body." She said irritably.
"Well – I know how that goes," Greg said wryly before sitting up so he could look down
at her. He made a series of goofy faces at her to try and make her laugh, and when she got
up off the bed in disgust he got frustrated.
"There's an easy way to solve your problem – just tell him you're a girl. I don't know
why you've waited this long anyway," he said as he met her glare from across the room.
She was in no mood to be cheered up and, judging by the defensive posture she took at
his suggestion, not in the mood to be challenged either.
"How can I tell him? I've lied to him from day one; don't you think he'll be angry about
that? And just because I have all these feelings for him doesn't mean he's suddenly going
to fall in love with me because I'm female." she said, anger rising in her. "What if he
prefers those blond bimbettes to tomboys – then I'll have screwed up the best friendship
I've ever had over nothing."
Greg looked at her in disbelief.
"Why would you think he wouldn't like you? He's already seen your picture – we know
he definitely likes the way you look," he said, grinning at the blush he saw creeping over
cheeks.
"Besides, the two of you have a really good friendship. So how is he going to lose if he
finds out his best friend is this incredibly cute girl who is completely in love with him?
Where is this insecurity coming from? The Jacqueline I met at Wheatley did not have
these confidence problems." He looked at her quizzically, truly baffled by her reluctance.
"The Jacqueline you first met hadn't lost a boyfriend to another guy yet either." She
deadpanned.
"That hurts. Ouch. Shit…. I'm sorry about that… about not telling you first." He sighed
deeply and continued, "I should have – but I wasn't sure how. Please don't think its your
fault though – you did not turn me gay!"
He tried to get her to look him in the eye and when she wouldn't he got up from the bed
and grabbed her hand, dragging her over to the mirror.
"There is no way a girl this beautiful is going to disappoint him," he said, standing behind
her. "Give him a chance to know who you really are."
Part 6
Over the past week he had done everything he could think of to gauge how she felt about
him and still she hadn't felt the need to tell him her secret. He thought he noticed her
blush when he took his shirt off at crew practice, but he supposed it could have been the
cold air – after all, she wasn't getting any exercise during practice. The way she jerked
slightly when he brushed her hand while passing papers back in class could have been
nothing – just a fluke.
What wasn't a fluke was the way his heart started to beat a little faster when she was
around, and the way he could feel himself smiling when he thought of her – which
seemed to be non-stop lately. He decided that it was finally time to force the issue – he
was reluctant to tell her he knew, but he was determined that if she hadn't spilled by the
end of the day, he would have to – no matter what she thought of him for eavesdropping.
-------
Later that afternoon they were up on the roof taking pictures – his mother had requested
some new pictures for the school brochure with the fall foliage around the lake, and Jake
agreed to come along. The roof provided the best view of the lake as well as the privacy
he needed to get Jake to open up to him.
"I used to come up here all the time when I was little – it was kind of my hiding place,"
he said as he fit a wide-angle lens onto his camera. "Did you have any place like that
back home?"
"Who me? My mother was never home enough to bother to hide from her – if I wanted to
be alone, I had an entire apartment to myself," she said somewhat bitterly. "I suppose
that's the up-side of boarding school – there's always someone around. Even if you don't
actually want to talk to them…" she said in a more positive tone.
"I used to wish I had this place to myself – there were always too many people around.
There was never a time when it was just my folks and me – even when school's not in
session there's still faculty around, and prospective students touring with their parents. I
guess that's why I like it up here – it's removed from all that," he said as he handed her
the camera to hold onto while he put the lens and camera cases back in his equipment
bag. He stood up and gestured with his head for her to follow.
They moved over to the west side of the building where the lake was visible. Jake was
looking through the viewfinder of the camera when a sly smile spread across her face.
"Dude, I think I just figured out why you * really * like it up here," she said knowingly.
"You've got a perfect view of the girls' campus from up here – and I know you've got a
few telephoto lenses in there…."
"Give me that," he demanded, taking the camera from her and pretending to be offended,
"I'll have you know, the last time I used the telephoto lens I was taking pictures of you."
He didn't want her to think he was just some horn dog who leered after girls all day.
"Excuse me – you were taking pictures of me?" she asked in alarm.
"What, you don't like your picture taken, Jake? I noticed your bike when you first
arrived, so I took some pictures. Does it bother you that I have photographic evidence of
your illicit activity on campus?" he said, grinning.
He snapped a few shots of the lake then replaced the telephoto lens with the normal one.
When he looked back up at her he noticed that her chewing on her bottom lip, still
looking a little freaked.
"What? Do you really dislike having your picture taken that much?" he asked, teasing
her.
"Naw… its just that I don't like people spying on me… Hey what are you doing? You're
supposed to be taking pictures of foliage, not me!" she complained, using her arms to
cover her face. She was laughing as he circled around her with the camera constantly
clicking.
He decided to stop torturing her. Moving closer to her he gently lowered her arm with his
left hand. Her face was flushed from laughing and spinning around and she inhaled
sharply when she opened her eyes to see him so close. He looked into her beautiful hazel
eyes for a moment before he impulsively leaned in to kiss her. His heart was pounding as
he felt the softness of her lips and he tried to pull her in closer.
At first she seemed to respond to the kiss – but after a moment she seemed to fully
comprehend that he was kissing her and she roughly pushed him away.
She slowly backed away from him, a look of heart-wrenching sadness on her face.
"Not again," she said bitterly, as she fled from the roof. Hamilton watched her run away
from him; shock strangled his voice and rendered him immobile.
"What did I do wrong?" he thought.
*******
Jake flew down the stairs, her feet barely touching the steps, and wrenched open the door
to her floor. Ignoring the surprised looks from some random guys in the common room,
she ran to her room. Once inside she grabbed her bike keys off of her desk, threw on her
leather jacket, and headed for the door again, nearly running into Greg.
"Where are you running off to in such a hurry?"
"Get out of my way," she said, her voice dangerously cold.
"Jake, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked with concern.
"I can't do this again, Greg. I just can't," she said sharply and pushed him out of her way,
leaving him to stare after her in astonishment.
Part 7
"It's been three hours – where the hell could she be?" Greg thought as he paced back and
forth in the narrow dorm room he shared with Jake. He was still confused by her outburst,
but as he watched the skies grow darker he was becoming more concerned about her. She
was a good driver, but the storm clouds that were rolling in did not look friendly to angry
teenage girls on motorcycles. The first crack of lightning motivated him to go out looking
for her.
He tried the common room first to see if anyone had seen her, then the library, and finally
the game room. At first he didn't see anyone, but a metallic * thunk * told him that there
was somebody around the corner with the dartboards.
When he turned the corner he found Hamilton there, viciously throwing darts at the board
with no thought to aiming. He cleared his throat to get Hamilton's attention and nearly
got a dart right between the eyes for his efforts.
"Don't you know better than to sneak up on people like that?" Hamilton said as he
reluctantly lowered the dart. He did not seem pleased to see Greg – not that he ever did,
but even less than usual.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for Jake – he took off on his bike several hours ago
and I haven't seen him come back."
Hamilton hurled another dart at the board angrily before he said, "I think you can drop
the 'He' – don't you? You're not all worried about how 'He' is – you're worried about
your damn girlfriend."
* Thunk * went another dart.
Greg was stunned. "Girlfriend – wait, you know Jake's not a…"
"Not a boy, yes, I know," he said bitterly. Thunk.
"Then you also must know she's not my girlfriend anymore – she's in love with you, not
me," he said matter-of-factly.
"She's definitely not into me – she proved that today," Hamilton said with a deep sigh.
He began clearing the darts from the board so he could start again.
"What happened today to make you think that?" Greg asked, completely confused.
"Why should I tell you? You won – go enjoy it. You're already in close proximity, I'll
gladly just step out of the way…" said Hamilton, looking not the least bit 'glad' at the
prospect. He resumed slowly hurling darts at the board, one after the other. Thunk.
Thunk. Thunk.
"Dude, I can guarantee she's not interested in me. We're just friends and that's all we'll
ever be – all we ever can be."
Hamilton turned to Greg with a furious look in his eye. "Well, then explain to me why
she took off running when I kissed her. She looked horrified. I don't think I'm that
offensive, so I assumed she must still have feelings for you."
"Did she say anything?"
"Naw," Hamilton said, shaking his head, "She just said 'not again' and ran. I didn't get it,
but whatever."
Greg smiled ruefully – he knew exactly what happened now. "You didn't tell her you
knew her secret before you swooped in on her?"
"I didn't 'swoop' – and no, I didn't get a chance," Hamilton said, looking insulted.
Greg sat down wearily on the arm of one of the club chairs against the wall, guilt making
his whole body feel heavy. "Dude – she ran because she thinks you're gay."
"Gay – why would she think that? I don't look gay, do I?" Hamilton asked, his brow
furrowed with worry.
"No – but then, most gay men don't 'look' gay," he said testily, "Which is part of the
problem with Jake." He looked up at Hamilton to see complete confusion.
"Her first boyfriend turned out to be gay – so you could see how she might be a little
freaked out if some guy who is supposed to believe she's a guy kisses her out of the
blue."
"Shit, yeah, I could see how that would freak her out. Damn." Hamilton put the darts on
the table and sat on the arm of the other club chair.
"It was a pretty shitty thing to do – using her as cover so no one else would figure me out
– but I've been trying to make it up to her," said Greg, not looking at Hamilton. He still
wasn't comfortable telling people – and now Hamilton made three people at Rawley that
knew about him. He nervously glanced over at Hamilton to see the younger boy grinning
from ear to ear.
"Man – that has got to be the best news I have heard all day! I have spent the last several
hours picturing your face on that dart board – Dude, you have no idea how much I hated
you being around her… it was driving me crazy, once I knew."
Greg smiled slyly at Hamilton. "I think you hated me long before you knew about Jake –
you've been looking pretty green around me since the first day!"
Hamilton blushed and nodded, admitting to his irrational dislike for Greg.
A loud crack of thunder startled them both, and Greg was reminded of his original
purpose – to find Jake. He asked if Hamilton had any idea where she might have gone.
"She might have gone down by the falls on the other side of town – it's a good 'thinking
spot' I showed her once. Do you have a car?"
******
"So, how far is it to this place?" Greg asked when they were on their way in his jeep.
"It's about half an hour away – but you might want to get some gas before we go too far
– you're almost empty," said Hamilton, pointing to the gas gauge.
Greg groaned – Jake borrowed the jeep over the weekend so she could go shopping in
another town and hadn't filled up the tank when she brought it back. "Typical…" he
muttered to himself. She had a tendency to forget those kinds of details.
"There's a gas station up ahead – I guess that will do," he said as he headed for the sign
that read "Charlie's Gas and Towing".
When they pulled into the station a cute blond girl came out of the main office to pump
their gas, followed by a tall blond boy. Greg got out of the car to pump the gas, but the
girl waved him away with a smile and proceeded to do it for him.
"Hey Will – what are you doing here?" asked Hamilton.
"Just visiting my friend Bella here," said Will, gesturing to the blond girl, who smiled
and waved. "What are doing out and about on a night like this? This storm's could break
any minute – not good cruising weather."
"We were out looking for Jake – he took off hours ago on his bike and hasn't come back
yet. With the storm coming we were a little worried."
Hamilton noticed that Will looked at Bella before he answered slowly, "No… haven't
seen Jake today...why are you guys so worried? Jake seems like he could take care of
himself."
Hamilton noticed the hint of amusement in Will's voice and the way he and the Bella
kept looking at each other, like they had some secret they were struggling to hold in. He
dismissed it as flirtation – there definitely seemed to be a vibe between them.
Greg, who joined them on the passenger side of the jeep, was just about to cut in and
answer Will's question when they heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching.
"Speak of the devil…" said Will wryly, as Jake pulled into the station. She looked
shocked when she spotted the jeep. She turned off the engine and removed her helmet,
running her fingers through her hair to fix the helmet-head look. Finally she noticed that
all four of them were staring at her.
"What – have I turned green or something?" she asked. She got off the bike and walked
towards them reluctantly as Bella started filling her gas tank for her. Hamilton tried to
catch her eye but she refused to look at him. She focused instead on Greg as she joined
the small gathering on the passenger side of the car.
"Jake – we were just about to start looking for you. Where've you been?" Greg asked.
"Out. I had stuff to think about – just felt like being alone. No big deal – no need to call
out the National Guard," she said sarcastically. She was very aware of Hamilton staring
at her, as well as Will and his friend Bella, whom she met during the summer when she
stopped for gas. All the scrutiny was making her very uncomfortable.
Greg tried to lighten the tension. "Well, now that you're here… you can pay for my gas,
since you forgot to fill it up last time you borrowed the jeep. And you can let me take the
bike back to Rawley – you owe me. Big time," Greg said as he dangled his keys in front
of her and took the helmet from her hand. With a resigned expression she took the keys
from him.
As he passed by her towards the bike he whispered, "He knew." That startled her. She
slowly turned towards the jeep and saw Hamilton leaning out of the passenger window
grinning at her. She looked at the ground for a moment, then back up at him, a wide smile
spreading across her face. She hardly heard Greg start her bike, and neither she nor
Hamilton looked at him when he pulled away.
"Pay the woman already, Jake. I'm sure she's got better things to do," he said, teasing
her.
She pulled out some money from her pocket, handed it to Bella, and walked around to
climb into the jeep. It took concentrated effort for her to maintain her cool and not skip
around the vehicle or some other girly kind of thing.
"Later guys – I'll see you back at the dorms," called Will, reminding both of them that
they were not alone.
"Umm… yeah, later, Will. Nice to meet you Bella," said Hamilton, while Jake merely
waved before starting the engine and pulling out of the gas station onto the dark streets of
New Rawley.
Will and Bella watched them pull away until they were out of sight. As soon as they were
gone Bella held out her hand to Will, palm up. "Pay up."
"No way – I still think you're wrong," he insisted half-heartedly. After tonight he knew
she was right, but he wanted to make her work for it.
"You saw the way they were looking at each other. If that's not proof enough, then
explain to me why Jake doesn't have an Adam's apple. Hmm? Got any bright ideas for
that one? Hah… I didn't notice it when I saw her here last summer, but there's proof I'm
right – Jake's a girl, no question about it. So pay up." Bella looked up at Will and
grinned. Will sighed, dug his wallet out of his back pocket and produced a $20 bill.
He just couldn't say no to that face.
Part 8
Jake and Hamilton rode in silence until they turned off on the road to Rawley Academy.
"Take the next left up ahead – I think we need to talk before we go up to the dorms."
Jake merely nodded vigorously and complied. The road she turned onto was a short dirt
road that led to the west side of Rawley Lake, out of sight of both campuses. She pulled
into a clearing near the edge of the lake and cut the engine. Hamilton got out of the
vehicle and walked over to the edge of the water. The wind created choppy waves in the
normally calm lake, but still there was no sign of the rain.
After a moments hesitation Jake joined him in looking out over the violent water as the
wind whipped through their hair. They stood side by side in silence for a moment, neither
one sure who should start.
Hamilton finally made the first move by clasping her hand in his. She looked at him in
surprise and he pulled her towards him. He kissed her fiercely – the moment their lips
met all the passion they had been hiding came pouring out. He released her hand so he
could cup her face in both hands and stroke the soft skin of her cheeks. A soft moan
escaped her and she entwined her hands in his hair, pulling him in closer.
Their kisses grew deeper and more passionate until finally Jake pulled away, her
breathing ragged and uneven. He kissed her forehead, both cheeks, and finally her lips
one last time. She dropped her head to his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her,
holding her close.
They stayed in that position until they felt the first heavy drops of rain and heard the loud
clap of thunder. The storm had finally broken and the rain quickly grew heavy. Laughing
they both ran back to the jeep. Once inside Hamilton drew her towards him for another
kiss – but she pulled away.
Seeing the hurt look on his face she stifled a laugh and explained. "The jeep is not made
for comfort," she said, gesturing to the gearshift separating them, "so maybe we should
go back to the dorms. We have a lot to talk about and …"
"This probably isn't the best place for that discussion," he cut in.
"The dorms it is then," he said and smiled.
-------
The next morning Jake awoke when she heard a soft knocking on her door. She quickly
threw on some baggy sweats and opened the door a crack to find Greg on the other side
grinning.
"Is it safe to come in?" Greg asked while doing the silly eyebrow wiggle he always used
when he teased her. She shot him an annoyed look and opened the door to let him in.
"So… where is he?"
"He's at home sleeping in his own bed where he should be – what did you really expect?"
she snipped.
"I didn't know what to expect - but I thought you could use the privacy, so I made sure to
stay away for the night. So… what happened? Spill!" He demanded.
She sat down on her bed and pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs. She
sighed and told him about the hours she and Hamilton spent talking (mostly) before he
finally left at 3 A.M. to go to sleep.
"Just talking – that's it? I slept on somebody else's floor so you two could 'talk' all night
long?" Greg said indignantly. She looked up sharply and examined him for a moment,
then broke out into a wide grin.
"I know why you are so interested in what happened – you've got your own dirt to spill!
Come on, you know I'm right. What happened? You didn't give up your bed last night
just for little old me. Where have * you * been all night?" she asked, turning the tables on
him and grinning at the way his face flushed bright red.
"Umm… actually, I do have news for you. I'll be moving out by the end of the week."
"What does that have to do with - oh. I get it. So who's the new roommate – can I assume
it would be the same person you stayed with last night?"
"Yeah, you could assume that," he said, before dropping his bombshell.
"I'll be moving in with Ryder. I guess you could say we're…'kindred spirits'."
Jake's jaw dropped.
"Ryder? Are you serious?" she asked in amazement, trying to picture the two of them
together.
"No – I just wanted to see your reaction," he deadpanned.
"Of course I'm serious – would I lie about something like this?"
