They shouldn't have fallen in love. Some things just weren't meant to happen. The two of them becoming a couple could easily be seen as one of those things and yet...
"I love you..." A soft sob to the wind sent a wave of negative emotions ranging in severity washing over him; ever since the day they fell in love, the world always seemed against them. At the beginning it just seemed like bad timing that could easily be brushed off but as it continued, it became a sick joke.
"DAMMIT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?!" He screamed to the sky as if doing so would make the other come back to his side; Gray knew he was being unreasonable but he could care less.
Natsu had gone on a mission with Lucy and so far only the celestial mage and the cat had come back - that was six months ago. Pale eyelids closed, picturing the rosy-haired fire mage in his head, before screaming at the top of his lungs. He had been among the first to step up to the task of searching for the missing mage and refused to give up, even to the point of trying to fight Erza to continue searching for his comrade.
They had kept their new relationship a secret from everyone in the guild; their fights continued but they always ended with them bandaging each other up as they laughed it off. The raven really did love the rosette more than he ever thought possible; so why? Why did Natsu have to disappear?
These six months had become 'hell on Earth' for the ice mage, who rarely went to the guild and instead insisted on brooding alone on the shore where the two would often take their childish fights to avoid Erza breaking them up. His hands tightened as he thought back to the goodbye he had gotten from his boyfriend, 'Bye Gray~ See you when I come back! Let's have a BBQ when I come back! I love you,'
...I love you...
Natsu's voice echoed inside his head; the rosette would come back, right? Supposedly, love conquers all - Yeah right! Only idiots would honestly believe that but then again, only idiots would avoid their friends and family because of the lost of someone they loved. He hadn't spoken to Lucy since her return without Natsu; he had heard her story of what happened but he could barely believe it but then again... he did.
Natsu was just the type of person to put himself into harms way to save someone else, especially a comrade! Gray couldn't even go to his own home - too many memories containing the dragon slayer to keep the tears from raining down. It wasn't easy to open himself up to the rosette after losing his family and then Ur and Lyon... So why?
"Why won't you come back to me, Natsu?" His lover's name fell like a weight from his mouth; he was beginning to feel numb from the constant pain of losing someone who had always been by his side for so long.
What could he do?
Master had ordered him not to leave the city and when asked (well demanded) for a reason the elder simply said: "You're not ready to accept the answer you may find,"
But having no answers to his questions... No closure... no Natsu. The raven decided he might as well cut himself off from the rest of the guild and ignore everyone's attempts to talk to him - even poor Wendy had been given the cold shoulder when she appear before him earlier today.
"Gray," Erza's voice entered his ears before the redhead sat down next him with a sigh, "Come to guild..."
"No,"
Hard scarlet eyes stared him down before another sigh escape the girl's mouth: "You might want to change your mind... It's about Natsu..."
As if by magic, the raven looked up with a mix of disbelief and hope; just because he hadn't been allowed to do anything didn't mean that the S-Class mages of Fairy Tail sat around and did nothing...
"Wha-what a-about hi-him?"
Erza's head lowered in what appeared to be grief and regret causing the pent up frustration to bubble to the surface but before they could release themselves, the scarlet whispered: "Like I said.. come to the guild, please Gray"
The raven had never known the armored-mage to politely ask for anything before - now he really couldn't deny her her request. Standing up Gray dusted off the invisible dust before stalking off towards the guild muttering, "Feh, you win... I'll go,"
He wasn't sure what to expect; all he hoped was that he could see Natsu one more time...
Opening up the double doors of the guild, onyx eyes caught sight of the best and worst thing in the world sitting on one of the bar stools: Natsu Dragneel covered in bandages. Not caring who saw, the ice mage rushed over immediately to the other's side as relief flooded his sense; the look given to him from hard cobalt eyes froze him in his tracks before he suddenly heard the other guild members' remarks:
"He honestly has no clue..."
"...Wendy said the blow to his head..."
"Poor Natsu..."
"...amnesia..."
A-amnesia...
Y-you g-gotta be fucking kidding me...
Gray stood, in a staring contest with eyes that seemed to swirled with unreadable emotions, completely heartbroken; was this his punishment?
Had asking for the rosette to return to his side been too much?
Fighting against the negative thoughts was one positive thought that stated a second chance to have the fire-dragon slayer fall in love with him again; with the internal struggle waging war, the raven took a careful step towards the rosette that watched him.
"Nat-"
"Who are you?" A little taken back, Gray swallowed back the lump that threatened to form before replying: "Gray Fullbuster... w-we're..." his voice suddenly lost its strength when something reflected in the cobalt orbs before him.
W-what w-was that...?
As their staring contest progressed, onyx eyes began recognizing several of the vast amount of emotions swirling about in the unease cobalt eyes before him: pain, despair, loneliness, anxiety, and strangely enough - a bit of warmth though he was sure he was imagining it. Movement to his right directed onyx eyes over to the petite silver-haired mage making her way over to them; bile formed a ball of irritation as possibilities of her trying to have a second chance to have the rosette fawn over her fluttered about in his head. Like hell he was going to even let it become possible! The moment Lisanna was mere seconds away from greeting Natsu, Gray grabbed the tan forearm and dragged its owner out of the guild hall ignoring the curious stares from the others in the quiet hall.
"H-Hey..." Any complaints or request/demands to be released fell on deaf ears as the raven continued to force the rosette to follow him - where? The ice mage honestly had no clue but it wasn't long that his feet stopped on the dirt road that laid above their river.
"We used to come here often... fighting without worrying about Erza breaking it up and scolding us... and then this became our spot to just be together without the facade of being rivals," The words were simply spilling out of Gray's mouth as he merely stared down at the crystal water reflecting the afternoon sunlight, "we would still fight in front of everyone at the guild and afterwards we'd come here... patching one another up... and laughing it all off before... be-before..." The pale hand tightened its grip on the other's forearm enough to alert his comrade to the emotional struggle he was enduring.
"H-Hey..." Again the words fell on deaf ears as the raven blurted out in one large exhale: "before we'd say 'i love you' and go home together!"
The silence that fell was thick. And heavy as the two teens stood; Gray still staring at the water and Natsu at the ground, afraid to look at his companion. Minutes passed and words began forming in their mouths, urging to escape the moment they put their guard down - "It's Gray, ri-right?" the rosette's voice was soft and full of raw and painful emotions.
A short nod then: "Is that... Is this why you seemed the most hurt... when you saw me, I mean?"
"Yeah,"
"I'm sorry but-"
"Stop!" Gray's outburst sliced through the apology Natsu had tried making in order to get away and clear his head; the raven didn't wait for any reaction as he turned, letting go of the tan forearm in the process before muttering painfully, "Please don't say it... p-please... don't say you're sorry when you don't remember me... or even remember what you said to me the last time we were this close... I don't want to lose you after you finally came back..." He lowered his head until it rested on Natsu's shoulder as he whispered, "Why... why did you have to leave me here alone...?"
( - - - - )
Csilla: Yes;; another angsty-ish oneshot - Natsu and Gray needed one...
I kinda gave up at the end... sorry if it seems cut short :p
- ANGST ONE SHOTS LEFT -
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