"So, there's this huge video game thing in New York." Matt lit a cigarette.

"Really? When?" Mello asked, losing yet again.

"Next week."

"Video games aren't really my thing..." Mello mused. They were a couple, of course, but it wasn't as if anyone knew about them. "But if you want to go, I don't care. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Are you sure you won't get lonely?" Matt taunted. Mello rolled his eyes.

"Of course I will. I'll think of you when I masturbate." Mello pressed a button.

"Player two wins!"

"Whoa, nice."

"I don't even know what I did." He laughed.

"You don't masturbate." Matt countered.

"How do you know?"

"I do."

"Huh. Creeper!" Mello pushed Matt down, and they kissed. Odd, since Matt seemed to almost always be on top.

"So are you gonna make a chocolate dildo?" Matt pushed Mello around and they fell onto the floor. "So you won't be empty without me? It'll make good lube when it melts."

"I love it when you get all pervy." Mello pulled down his tight pants. "Come on, right here."

"Matt? Mello? What are you doing?"

"N-near?" They shouted. They looked over the couch at the kid.

"You little bastard!" Mello shouted. "Get out! How did you even get in here?"

"I was here the whole time. Remember? And Matt, are you smoking?" Near sat inside a lego castle. "I built this."

"No, Near, I'm eating chicken. Some genius you are."

"Suit yourself, but I could report you to Roger." Near placed a lego figure of Matt on the top of the castle, and flicked it off.

"Let's just ignore him." Mello sighed. He was sick of Near. Matt pulled Mello down, and they did it for the fifth time that week.

The next week, Mello did make a chocolate dildo, and it was amazing.