Ultimatums

"I have to take this, Nikki," Harry said, his voice low. He couldn't look at her. "Do you understand why I have to take this?"

"No," Nikki replied defiantly, folding her arms and fixing him with a glare. "No I don't understand."

They were silent for a few moments. Then, Nikki heaved a sigh, uncrossed her arms, and leant against the desk in front of him. "Okay, from a professional standpoint, I do get it. It's an amazing opportunity and you completely deserve this chance," she explained. "But…"

He glanced up at her. "But?"

"You're my best friend," she shrugged. "I suppose I just want you to stay here, with me and Leo."

Harry stood up. "The thing is, I want more." Nikki's eyes flashed with hurt and he hurriedly clarified, "No! I don't mean – what I meant by that was, you and me, the best friend thing, I can't – I can't go on like this anymore, Nikki." She frowned and he reached for her hand, squeezing it gently. "We've stayed still for so long. You need to tell me, right here, right now: would things change between us, if I stayed?"

She flushed, and looked away. "I…I can't, I don't know if I'm ready - "

"Damn it, Nikki! We've had years! Years to be ready! I'm ready!" He released her hand and ran his own through his hair in frustration.

"It's difficult, that's all," she tried to reason. "It's all so sudden, and - "

"No!" he shouted, slamming his hand down on the desk next to her. "No, it isn't. This has been simmering for nearly a decade and you know it. So please, tell me once and for all, Nikki." He put his other hand on the desk, leaning forward and trapping her against it. And then, softly, he asked, "Do you love me?"

Nikki closed her eyes. "I can't do this," she murmured. "Neither of us are good at relationships. We'd mess it up. And then I'd lose you completely. I can't risk that. I can't."

He sighed in disappointment and rested his forehead against hers for a moment, closing his eyes too. "I need to get away from you," he whispered.

"Why?" she whispered back.

"You're breaking my heart a little bit," he said in a rough voice.

"Well snap," she retorted. She lifted her hands to his jacket and clutched the fabric tightly. "If you love me, you'll stay."

"If you told me we had a future together, I would," he countered. He pulled his head back slightly, and their eyes fluttered open. He stared into hers meaningfully. "If this isn't going anywhere, then I need to get away and start again, because it's killing me, Nikki, to be so close to happiness and yet so far away from it."

She breathed in deeply. "I'll miss you," she replied gently.

His hand moved from the table to her face, and he stroked his thumb across her cheek. "I'll miss you too." He leant in and pressed a tender kiss to her lips, then withdrew all contact from her completely, stepping backwards. "Give me a ring if you decide that maybe we're worth taking a chance on."

And then he left the room.

He boarded a plane to New York six weeks later. Leo had dropped him off at the airport with wishes of good luck.

Nikki had remained in the lab, trying not to look at her watch as she felt the time running out and their chance slipping away from them.