A/N: I'd like to thank the poor people around me that had to listen to my headcannons till I finally wrote this.
This is dedicated to my shitposting muse, Tim, and my partner in all things Miraculous, Val.
Chapter 1: Not a Chance
Why is this happening to me? Sprinting through the forest as her Ledian followed, Marinette cursed her clumsiness for approximately the twenty seventh time since she fell from a Combee infested tree. All she had wanted was a few Leppa berries, but no. Whatever higher power watching enjoyed seeing her losing her footing and fumbling for a perch on the branch. Plus, what do you know, shaking a tree wakes up its inhabitants, which happened to be a couple dozen Combees. Don't they have anything better to do than chase me?!
Apparently not, since they were still chasing her.
Oh thank Ho-oh, is that the exit? There seemed to be a clearing a few feet ahead, if the bright light in between the trees was anything to go by. "Tikki, we're almost out of this stupid Combee infested forest!" Marinette's Ledian buzzed in agreement as they ran out past the line of trees.
"Are you KIDDING me?"
Yeah, this was not the forest exit. This was a dead end. The bottom of a ledge in fact. A rather short ledge honestly. But she definitely couldn't climb a short ledge. Ledges weren't meant to be scaled anyway, no matter how seemingly short. Anyone with a working brain knew that. So yeah, no climbing this ledge. No way. Unlucky.
Marinette quickly surveyed her new surroundings, hoping to find a way to escape. Tikki buzzed protectively in between Marinette and the incoming group of irritated pokémon. Surrounded on all sides by rock and fast approaching angry pokémon, Marinette came to a stunning conclusion.
"Tikki, we're stuck."
If her beloved pokémon had had eyelids and could talk, Marinette was sure she would have narrowed her large buggy eyes at her and said, "Wow, Mari, that's an awfully astute observation you made. Could you share with me your thought process?" Thankfully, Tikki was a kind pokémon that had been with Marinette for years now and understood that her trainer was sometimes rather silly and stated the obvious, so she just buzzed in agreement and squared up her four little fists to protect her trainer.
When the Combees broke out of the forest, Marinette and Tikki were ready. They were NOT going to get their butts handed to them by some rag tag group of wild pokémon. No sir. The experience and expertise she gained from traveling around Johto didn't just magically reset because she was traveling a new region now. That didn't even make any sense, how could a top sixteen finalist from the Johto League's Silver Conference with her long time pokémon partner lose to some weak wild pokémon? Right?
Right?
She was jolted from her internal monologue by a voice that was definitely not a pokémon's.
"Looks like you could use a paw right meow, Purrincess."
Just Hyperbeam me now, Ho-oh.
Turning her head as slowly as possible to delay confirming her suspicions, Marinette's eye twitched when she saw the telltail black cat ear'd cap, green goggles and trademark Chat Noir grin. He stood on the edge of the ledge with his Purrloin resting languidly on his shoulders. "Aren't you purrleased to see me?"
Marinette rolled her eyes. At least the Combee stopped to stare at him too.
"Look, I don't know how you keep finding me in these situations," images flashed through her head as she recalled the GogoatGate incident and the Fletchling fiasco, "But I can handle myself." She grabbed a poké ball from her belt, ready to call out another pokémon to help. "You also really need to stop with your awful puns."
"Nonsense," Chat jumped down from the ledge, hand on his head to keep his hat from flying off, "As your loyal knight, it is my duty to provide assistance whenever you are in need, Princess."
He shook his Purrloin off his shoulders and grabbed a poké ball from his own belt. "Plus, my puns are the Combees knees."
"They don't even have knees, Chat!"
Finally free from the angry but dedicated Combees, Marinette and Chat rested on a large log they found. Glancing at the black and green clad boy as he pet his Purrloin, Marinette dug through her bag and pulled out a pouch full of Poké Block. Pouring a few out into her hand, she gave a brown one to Tikki to munch on.
"What's that, Princess?" Chat was pointing at the colorful cubes in her hand.
She offered him the handful of cubes and let him pick one out. "Never seen Poké Block before?"
"Don't believe so. Is it just pokémon food?" He picked up a green cube and examined it before offering it to his Purrloin. The Purrloin sniffed it cautiously before seemingly deeming it worthy and eating the block in a single bite. Chat looked surprised that his pokémon ate it. She felt faintly insulted. "Wow, these things must be really good if Plagg's eating it. He's usually a picky eater. What are these?"
Damn straight. Smiling, Marinette offered Tikki another one before giving Chat a few green ones to give Plagg. "Poké Blocks are basically Poffins from Johto."
"From Johto? How'd you get these?"
"My parents send them to me every now and then. They own a Pâtisserie selling Poffins, Poke Puffs, Poke Block, you name it." Goodness, she was getting hungry too now that she thought about it. When was the last time she ate? I've been stuck in this forest all day. Realizing she wouldn't be getting any other food for a while, Marinette popped a brown cube into her own mouth. Mmm. Tastes like chocolate.
"Did you just eat pokémon food?"
She turned to look at Chat as she swallowed the sweet. Wow, he looks really worried. Like she had just drank a cup of poison or something. She stared at the blocks in her hand. Well, it looked like the Poké Block that her parents sent her last week. She stared at Chat again. Huh, he still looked pretty worried. She wasn't really sure what was wrong though. Might as well be honest. "Yes…?"
"Isn't that dangerous?"
"No…?"
"What?" He looked even more alarmed now. Like she didn't understand basic concepts like pokémon type advantages or something. How rude, she knew her type advantages. Just not for Fairy type. That's still processing. "But trainers aren't supposed to eat their pokémon's food! Some ingredients aren't suitable for human consumption!"
Oh. Oh. That's what he meant. She laughed.
"Oh, don't worry. My family firmly believes that trainers should only feed their pokémon things that they themselves would be willing to eat. Everything we sell is suitable for pokémon and humans." Plus the brown ones tasted like chocolate. Maybe it'd be easier to show him? "Here, try a brown block, they're sweet."
Curious, Chat did as she asked and ate the brown block. His eyes lit up. Well, she thought they lit up. She couldn't really tell too well because of his goggles. But whatever.
"Your family makes these? That's ameowzing! It tastes like chocolate!" He popped another brown cube into his mouth.
Marinette sighed. "And here I thought we were finally going to have a pun-free conversation."
Chat winked at her. "Not a Chansey, Purrincess."
Wow.
"Aaaaaaaaand that's my cue to go." Putting everything away properly and recalling Tikki into her poké ball, she got up off the log and dusted off her pink shorts and black leggings before walking away.
"Aw, don't be like that, Princess!" Chat recalled Plagg as he followed her, falling into step beside her.
She was not going to sit in a forest all day listening to his puns. "I need to get out of this forest, Chat. I've been stuck here the whole day." At least she was on a path now. Chat had showed her where the path was after dealing with the Combees. "I wonder how much longer it is till the next town."
"Not much longer. I was there this morning."
Marinette stared at him. He stared back, arms resting behind his head. Neither stopped walking during this staring contest.
"If you were there this morning, what are you doing back in this forest?" Why would he subject himself to the terror and anguish of this forest again? He probably knew his way around it, but still. This forest was awful. Couldn't even pick berries safely. Absolutely terrible. 2/10. Would not recommend. - IGN
"Looking for you, actually."
What. Why would he be looking for her? Was he looking for someone to try new puns on? Did she forget something in the last town? Maybe he was trying to return it to her? Maybe he wanted to show her something? No, wait. He was stalking her, wasn't he? Whoa, Marinette. That's quite a jump in logic there. Don't get ahead of yourself. There's definitely a plausible and reasonable answer to all this. Marinette eyed him warily and finally asked, "Why were you looking for me?"
Chat gave her one of this trademark grins. "Wanna be my partner in a multi battle tournament?"
