FIRST FANFIC

LOVE BONES, BUT NOT MINE.

LONG GONE BEFORE DAYLIGHT

Brennan POV

CHAPTER ONE: ACHE IN MY BODY REGRET ON MY MIND

I was sitting in the darkest corner of my office, also dark; there was no light in it, like there is no light in my heart, not anymore, months ago I had the premise that the heart was a organ with no soul, like a teach myself years ago, you know to block myself for feeling, I was been pretty successful in that, like I always was in everything I put my mind (AND I'M, WILL), but I made I mistake here, I cheat my body, mind and soul, and I'm dam sure that you are thinking that I didn't believe in souls, but I'm and I also think that there is someone from everyone else, and that's why I'm suffering, I crack everything in me, that must be pretty hard crack everything in me don't you think, Dr. temperance Brennan, hiding in her office, because she can't take it anymore a she needs to cry, scream, to speak to herself, to lost in time and space, to rewind the time, and go back where I was apparently happy, I don't know if I was or I've ever been, ah, I think I'm depress or that's what sweets would said.

I don`t know what I waiting for, I'm sitting in here since Friday night and today it's Sunday, no one it's here in the lab it's thanks giving and cam gave the weekend free, I told them that I was going to travel, and every one believe me, that's why no one has call, or came looking for me, I'm eating left over, ice cream, chocolates that I've here in the fridge, what I'm drinking? Well, mostly water, because I'd drink all the liquor that I've nearby, I could look for more you know but I'm not strong enough to stand up, because if I do, I would collapse and run, run to it, run for it, so I decide to be clear in my toughs so I drank water.

Feelings, always defeat by my psycho inclination to explain everything trough, I don't believe that, it's something that some one that was close, would tell you about me. oh my feelings never so clear to me as it in the right now, and ever so painful, I'm hiding because nothing it's working anymore, speaking of hiding I don't what I'm going to do tomorrow morning, when everything come back to normal, e-mails, meetings, body to identify, chatting, new cases, lunch, brush my teeth, shower, eat, lunch, drive, and the most difficult part, stand up and put my facade that I'm happy and focus, neat and genius as always, but that would be tomorrow in the mean time I can keep been like this, is not that I liked or enjoyed, it's not on propose, is not that I needed, it's that I can't do it any other way, well genius of me, ah, I can identify the a remain from a finger, but no come up with some sort of a plan of "how to express your feeling to someone that confess to you that has it for you, but you reject it and now you want it, but you miss you chance, but you LOVE that someone and it's unbearable, agonizing, excruciating, intolerable. " LOSER LOSER LOSER…..

Runaway, that what I would have to do, every time that I see him, I want to scream him for forgiveness, and tell him that I love him, that I'm ready for him for today, for tomorrow for forever, for eternity. You know I have to confess something to me; I hate that stupid, brainless hot blond of him, with all of my heart, crap, it feels good. I've been thinking about that night, when at the end of the confession (stupid me that I'm so clueless that I didn't see that he was trying to tell me that he loved me, that I should trust in his feeling that no matter who I'm everything would be fine) when I was looking for comfort he hugged me, I feel so warm, and sad because I knew in the moment that I start to explain my point of view, I knew that I was wrong that what I want it to do was kiss him, fuck him or make him love or whatever, I wish, I wish, I wish that I would just kept my mouth shut and let him kiss me, but no my science, my past, my heart got scare and reject him, I'm a coward, I'm don't defend me please you now it's my fault, I know it. I need to speak to Angela, but I have to wait until she gave birth because if I tell her what happen that night and what I'm feeling right now she could lost that fetus and Hodgins would kill me, and no one would ever find me because between you and me he is pretty capable of commit the perfect murder. Ah.

His name the one name that I don't want to bring to my mouth but my body keep bringing him to subject, maybe if I said it I would feel a lot better, but if my body start to run to him, and confess everything? No, no, no, disaster I have to wait, be patience, be Temperance, but I'm gonna said ok, I had no money right now, I left my purse somewhere in Chile with my bags, they are on vacation not me. Ah. Ok so his name, should tell the first name or his last name, I always identify by his last one, also he hate his first, but I love it, but I think I'm gonna kept the tradition, BOOTH, B-O-O-T-H, there it is, good girl, you said and know you are crying, like a baby girl, like you lost someone, I miss the count of how many times I've burst to tears this weekend, I haven't sleep, not yet, it's almost Monday, it's 11:59pm, ohh, ohh, what it's that noise?, I hear like someone is in the lab! Well sure it's some guard, well I don't have to worry my office its lock, just cam have my keys, no one else, but then why my heart is beating so fast, I'm nervous, scare, content, I don't know, it's closer, and even if they open the door, it's difficult to be seen from that point and everything is neat, well not everything, no where I'm sit.

Where is a gun when I need it, I think who is it, but if it not him, oh no not now when I'm crying nonstop he is coming inside but why, it's him BOOTH, and he is alone, he looking for something, ten minutes, and he hasn't spoke, he is in my couch right now looking for something maybe he is preoccupied, for me because I haven't call him, from my trip a trip he didn't know just Angela and Cam,…., Bones where the hell are you?, is she carry with her the medal that I give her the night before Maluku, god please keep her safe, away from danger, it's not in her loft, or in her car, I check the airport and she check her bags, ah I knew it, he do that every time, and yes booth I have the medal with me. The only place that its left is in here, not in her desk, or her couch or in her box where she have everything I give to her I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF OPEN HEART, yes, my ass, she have it, well the only place that I need to look is in her little limbo, she doesn't now but something when I come to check on her she is sitting there (BUSTED), but then I go back and make noises so she can put herself back, she hate to be seen like that, ok I going crazy in here I know that I can talk to you, but out loud, what she would think of me, what would Hanna think of me, oh bones why everything it's so mess up, shit he is coming, oh god that don't exist, he is coming, and what would I do, I'm going to wait here, until he…what the hell, damn my leg uhf, it's that what I think it is,

BONES?

BOOTH…

Ok I hope you like there is a second chapter, be good to me, this is my first fanfic, and it's not my native language, so sorry for the grammar mistake.

JLxD