Hi. This is a story I wrote for English class two weeks ago. My teacher told me it was really, really good. She also told me she wanted a copy of my first book. I just wanted the criticism of strangers and fellow aspiring authors. I know that it could have been way longer and have more suspense, but I only had one day to do the assignment. I took some of the concepts in this story from The Steampunk Chronicles and Angelfire. I didn't plagiarize, I took the concepts. Just want to make that clear. Sorry to Kady Cross and Courtney Allison Moulton for that. They own their books not me. Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes.

Faolan paced back and forth. He hated patrol on winter nights. He started pulling his wool hat farther down over his frozen ears, when he heard a scream of pain and agony pierce the night sky. Faolan jumped and ran toward the continuing sound. His stiff, frozen feet thudded against the pavement, and he rounded a corner to find a girl with long black hair sitting in a pool of blood. Open scars laced her back. She let out a final scream and huge black wings exploded from her back. The girl went limp and fell into the pool of blood.

I woke up to find a young man staring into my face. What had happened? All I remembered was running from the two shady men in the alley and a burning pain. Speaking of that, my back was in agony. "Where am I?"

"Ah, you are awake. I'm glad. How are you?" The young man said.

"Oh, besides the fact that I feel like something a very un-careful cat dragged in, pretty good. You didn't answer the question."

"You are at my master's house. Don't freak out, please. I am called Faolan. My master is the Duke of Birmingham. He should be here in a few minutes. Do you remember anything?"

"I'm Luella. I don't remember anything besides pain, lots of pain."

"Nothing? Are you sure?"

"Yes. Why does my back hurt so bloody much?"

"Because—" Faolan was cut off as a tall, red-haired young man about eighteen or so stalked in the room. He was frowning and it only deepened as he saw me.

"Dang it!" he snarled, "Good job, Faolan, you can go. Miss Luella, I see you don't remember me."

"Why should I?" I asked. Faolan left the room, closing the door behind him.

He smiled grimly. "We went to school together. Kegan Azdraej. You probably thought I was full of myself. Most likely true actually, seeing as I was my father's only heir."

"I remember you. Why am I here?" What was going on?

"Faolan was on watch and he heard a scream. He ran to see what was happening and found you with wings bursting from your back," Kegan said gravely.

"Wings?" I gasped.

"They disappeared into your back when you fell unconscious."

I was shocked. Wings. How could I have wings? "I'll leave you now. We'll talk more in the morning," Kegan said. "You're healing at an unheard of rate. You should be able to walk down to breakfast. Ask one of the maids if you need help finding the dining room." Kegan left and shut the door softly behind him.

What was happening to me? First, the ability to summon swords into my hands, now wings. What was next? Magical powers? I sighed. No sense thinking about this. I might as well go to bed.

The next morning I woke up to find a note on the bedside table. I reached out and picked it up. It was addressed to me. I opened it and read:

I let your parents know where you were. Well, I tried to. I forgot to tell you, there're clothes in the closet for you. I hope they're not too big.

Kegan

A bit strange, but whatever. My parents were in India to do missionary work. I rolled out of bed and stood up. Kegan was right. I felt great. It was like nothing had happened. I flexed my shoulders to see what would happen and large black wings practically glided out of my back. It didn't even hurt. All it did was rip my already ripped and bloody shirt.

I walked over to the mirror and examined my brand-new wings. They were so huge, that I could barely stretch them all the way out in the large room I was currently in. I pulled the ripped fabric back from the bases of my wings. I flexed my back one more time and they disappeared into my back. It was then that I saw the two long, thick scars running vertically down my back. I gasped and ran my fingers over the scars. I shook my head and decided it was time to get dressed.

I strode over to the wardrobe at the edge of the room, and pulled the mahogany doors open. Inside were men's trousers, shirts, and dresses, plus several cloaks. I pulled out black trousers, a loose dark green shirt, and a black cloak with dark green trim. I pulled on the clothes, sans cloak, then grabbed my unpolished black boots and pulled them on.

I pulled open the door and walked down the corridor to find a maid. I saw a petite Asian woman briskly turn a corner and walk toward me. "Ah, His Grace wants me to guide you to dining room. I am Lin."

I followed Lin down several different corridors, while I told her my name and I asked how she was. We took a final left and she opened a large oak door and gestured me in. She closed the door behind me and left.

I stepped forward and saw Kegan and Faolan at the far table. I hurried toward them and sat down to Kegan's left. He smiled, "Hello, Miss Luella, you slept well, I trust?"

"Yeah," then I remembered my manners and asked, "How about you?"

He chuckled, "Pretty good." Just then several servers appeared with trays and set them in front of us.

I looked down at my plate and saw the two fried eggs on my plate. I chowed down and the guys followed suit.

When we were finished, Kegan pushed back his plate, sat back in his chair, and said, "I know why you have wings."

"Why?" I asked eagerly.

"You're like us, an angel of direct descent of Gabriel."

I hoped you liked it. Please review and tell me if I'm actually a good author, tell me things I can improve, any kind of comments. I really would appreciate it.