Authors note: I own nothing… duh.

Chapter I

Max was sitting alone in his cheap hotel staring at the peeling paint on the ceiling. He sighed loudly and pushed himself off the lumpy stained mattress to the pathetic excuse for a kitchen. He'd spent the better part of a month in this disheveled little hovel lost in his own thoughts. Liz and he had separated about 2 months ago, she claiming that he didn't see her anymore, and that he was never going to move on from his son and Tess. He claiming that she couldn't except that he would never be that normal husband that she wanted deep down inside her.

He opened the fridge door and pulled out week old Chinese take-out and a bottle of Tabasco sauce, then returned to the mattress, as it was the only piece of furniture in the room. He ate in silence, his mind drifting from thought of Isabel to Michael and then to Zan and Sticking to thoughts of Tess.

He didn't love Tess, no, no he wouldn't say 'love'. But there was something there. The memories of what they had been, back on Antar. He could see her, when he closed his eyes. The first time that they truly met so long ago: He had just been named successor to his father and she had been at the ball with Her mother, who was some foreign dignitary from Jazella, a neighboring planet. She had been stunning. He had been so taken with her, from the moment they first saw each other. She was unlike any princess he'd ever met; so strong minded and willful. Others were soft and delicate, the though of stealing away from a royal celebration to climb into a tree and hide was unfathomable. Yet that's where he found her. He himself had slipped out, hoping for some peace and quiet. She was sitting in his favorite pinetta tree with her hair let down and her dress dirty. They had talked well into the morning and laughed so hard that he had fallen from the branches. That's the Tess he would always love, not the conniving little weasel that ran with his son and murdered his friend.

He could almost cry at the thought of Zan, So small and helpless. Max couldn't… wouldn't allow that little innocent life to be ruined by the stain of his father's abnormality. He knew… wanted to be completely confident in the knowledge that giving him up was the right thing to do. But he wasn't, He had this awful feeling that letting go of his son was the biggest mistake of his life. These were the times that he missed Isabel the most. He could always confide in his sister and no matter what she would say, it would always be the right thing, it would always be the best solution to the problem, because that's how Isabel Evans thought. She was logical to a fault. Max smiled at the though of her. Gods, how he missed her. He wondered briefly if Valandra had been the same comfort to Zan as Isabel was to Max. He nodded decisively. He somehow knew that she had been.

He wished he could find her… not that it was beyond his capabilities, but she was enjoying her life somewhere with Jesse. Happy with being the normal wife, not the alien chic. He had almost gotten used to the idea of it not being the three of them anymore. No, that wasn't true. He would never be comfortable being so far from Michael and Isabel. Michael was his best friend, the only person he ever trusted enough to tell his thoughts to. Sure he shared his concerns with his sister, but Michael had been there to talk about the less important stuff. Like when Tess had first come to Roswell and Max was beginning to doubt his feelings for Liz, even though he would never leave her. Michael was there. Max glanced around the tiny apartment and out the small window, Michael was there. Max did a double take. Michael was literally there. Hanging onto his window sill and smirking. Max shot up and opened the window.

"Michael? How the hell…" Max looked down the 3 stories that were below his window.

"Easy Maxwell, Just let me in. Its freezing out here" Max moved out of the way and Michael climbed inside and shook the snow off his shoulders.

"You were floating!" Max yelled

"I know cool huh?" Max smiled and hugged his friend. He had missed him too much to be mad just yet.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" Michael shrugged

"I don't know. I just wanted to… and then I started driving and I ended up here. Like some weird force was puling me."

"Why would you need to find me?" Max asked incredulously.
"because… it was… it was all wrong, being separated from you guys. It was like I was incomplete." Max nodded

"I feel it too." He opened the fridge and pulled out a Snapple. "You want?" He asked at Michael sat down on the bed.

"Sure." Max tossed the drink but the shot went wide. Michael reached his hand out and the bottle stopped about 4 feet to his left then it zipped into his hand.

Max frowned "What was that?"

"I don't know, since I left you guys, I just have been working on developing my powers, figured I didn't have anything else better to do. I've got shape shifting down pretty pat. And I levitate I guess you could say."

"And the Snapple thing?"

"I summon things, like I want it and then it comes to me." Max gave him a look

"What?" Michael asked defensively.

"I'm glad you're here." Max said, "That's all."

"uh oh, I hear the worry, what up?" Max flopped down on the bed and sighed

"Not Tess?" Michael exclaimed
"No. Not really, more like Tessara. Ya know… who Tess used to be. I don't understand how she could… be so not her."

"Your queen you mean?"
"Well… yea, I dream of her every night and she was so…beautiful and caring and sweet, all the things that Tess wasn't."

"I don't know what to tell you man, I've been gaining memories of home steadily since Roswell… and Valandra, Isabel hasn't changed a bit, neither have you. But Tess…" He whistled.

Max nodded in agreement

"I can remember this one time, you and I were tied down in negotiations with the Ontarian resistance…"
"I remember…"

"She busted in demanding that I go sort things out with Valandra, We had just had this huge fight…"
"She had broken 2 security guards noses just to get into the chamber." They laughed

"She marched my butt straight out of there so I would go mend things up with my fiancée and the proceeded to talk the Ontarians out of starting a war." Max smiled sadly

"She was such a firecracker… and I almost wish I could remember her."

"I know how you feel." Max propped himself up on his elbows

"What?"
"nothing, Forget I said anything."
"Michael…"
"Forget about it Max… you're her brother."
"I'm also your friend, talk to me as if I'm just that."

"I… It's not that simple,"
"Its not as if I can run to her and tell her… She's gone."
"I…I know, you… you just can't imagine… Tess was never Tessara. Isabel… Isabel is exactly as I remember her as Valandra. And its in my face, everyday that I cant have her. She's with Jesse. She's happy and I want that more than I want her for myself." Max nodded

"Why didn't you say anything before Jesse?"
"Because… We all just kind of agreed to be brothers and sister. And once we weren't… There was Maria, and I didn't want to hurt her, and Isabel only ever saw me as a friend. I was just a chicken shit. I didn't think that I could take the rejection."

"What happened with you and Maria?"
"She got signed for a label, and I just wasn't as supporting of her music career as William was," Michael said bitterly

"She cheated?"
"I don't understand humans." He sighed

Max looked out the window to the snowfall.
"You know… when Isabel was around, I used to hate this time of year. I always used to think about what Christmas might be like without the Christmas Nazi around… and this will be the first one without her, and I'm going to miss all the over exaggerated traditions she imposed on all of us."

Michael felt like crying. "It's never going to be the same." Max nodded

"And this'll be Zans first Christmas… And I wont be there for it." He held in a sob.

Michael, uncomfortable with the very sad shift in their discussion diffused the silence with "I'm starving, How about and me go grab a cheeseburger." Max nodded, closing the drapes and grabbing his shoes

"Yea,"