Author Note – just a small venture into the Bruce/Natasha. Rewrite of the little scene from CA: Civil War. Any feedback would be much appreciated.
Wish You Were Here
"We sure could use an Incredible Hulk right about now, any ideas where we can find him?"
Her mouth drops in spite of herself and it takes longer to recover than she wanted to, than she should. Finally, when any pretence she could hope to project at the mention of Banner's alter ego is ineffective she decides to not even try and lets her lips curl upwards for a second. There was no use trying to hide from Tony anyway, he probably knew about their feelings before they did.
She gives a tiny shake of her head, tilting after. "Do you think he'd be on our side?"
Tony huffs slightly and she assumes he's dropped it. They could use the strength but Bruce wouldn't be anywhere near anything to do with Ross voluntarily. Truth was, Bruce was better at hiding than any of them. He didn't want to be found and she wouldn't look for him out of respect of his privacy. She hoped he would make the decision to come back of his own volition. There were times when she wondered if he had been humouring her when he agreed to disappear with her, if he meant to run off into the night without her all along. In the short years since Sokovia, she's begun to doubt their feelings, putting them down to the intimacy born out of the lullaby, figuring she had more of connection to the Big Guy than Bruce. They had more in common. She tries not to think about him, about what they had, what they lost. She tries to prove to the world she isn't as hurt as she is by his absence from her life. Except it was moments like this, when her heart twitches regardless of her doubts at the mention of either of them. Just like when Ross mentioned Bruce and Thor in the briefing room when he and Stark came to present the Accords to them.
"I don't know, I think he would understand its merits," Tony shoots back after he watches her reaction. "But he punishes himself more than any of this could," he continues with a wave of his hand at their surroundings, the resources, weapons, around them finally stopping in front of her. "Like cutting ties to those who mean the most to him," he finishes with his eyes on her face.
"Are you trying to give me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech on his behalf?" She snipes back, cocking an eyebrow in warning. She doesn't want to talk about this with anyone, she never has. Bruce's guilt was mostly second hand, through news reports rather than memory, but his isolation is his own form of punishment. It wouldn't surprise if they found him on a deserted island one day, with no one to hurt but himself.
"Can't blame a guy for trying to help his best friend," Tony shrugs, unbothered by the warning. "The Big Guy decided to leave, not Banner."
"Yeah, but Bruce agreed with him," she tells him, her eyes tearing up without permission as she remembers the conversation she had over the comms of Hellicarrier. They've never talked about what happened with Bruce in Sokovia, he teased more often than not, but there were times when she thought he blamed her for Bruce leaving. Maybe she was projecting. She blinks and her vision clears. She's surprised that Tony is trying to make her feel better rather than his defence of Bruce. "You know what Ross would do given half a chance," Natasha says barely a whisper. Tony hears her as if she shouted it. It was one of the few reservations she had about signing the Accords.
Tony steps a fraction closer, nothing to draw attention from those around them. "That was clear when he gave me the sales pitch for all of this, said it was a pity we didn't have a lullaby for every Avenger out there."
"And you agreed to this anyway," Natasha grinds out, hating him in that moment for potentially putting her in a position where she could be used against Bruce.
"Not before making sure he was safe," Tony says in the only way he knows how to reassure. She appreciates what he's done for Bruce but it hurts too. Maybe Bruce did hate her for pushing him into that crater, for forcing him to change.
"You knew where he was?" Natasha whispers and Tony backs up with his hands raised in surrender when he hears the threat in her voice.
"You would too if you bothered to come by to pick up the stack of postcards that's been piling up at the Tower for you."
Natasha pauses for a long moment, using everything in her to breathe through her anger and ignore the ten different images playing through her mind where she ends up killing the billionaire. In the end her mind settles on one thought. Bruce had sent her postcards, a small gesture to some, huge to her. It would've been safer for him to cut all ties, like she assumed he had. Stark still shouldn't have made that decision for them. The only thing stopping her from fulfilling the scenarios is the faraway look in Tony's eyes and she takes pity on him. "You could've forwarded them."
"Yeah," he agrees and she notes, not for the first time, how deflated he is, the self-loathing, the guilt she's well accustomed with. Even the sarcastic bite to his jibes seems forced. "Sorry, passing on love letters wasn't high on my priorities list."
"I'm sorry about Pepper, Tony," Natasha tells him. He seems so lost without the woman who he was clearly still in love with. She knows the feeling. She touches his arm slightly and it's no less awkward than the hug she shared with Steve at Peggy's funeral. He huffs lightly and shakes her off as he reaches behind him to get his jacket on the back of his chair.
"I'm sorry about Bruce," he replies as he pulls a stack of cards topped with a white envelope with her name on it, all tied together with a green ribbon, from his inside pocket and hands them over. He leaves her alone with them when she ducks her head and turns them in her hand. Her breath hitches and her lips lift of their own accord as she reads the top postcard emblazoned with the words 'Wish you were here'.