DARE
"It's coming up…"
"It's coming up…"
"It's coming up…"
"It's coming up…"
"… It's DARE!"
Chapter One
Noodle
"Once again! And this time, make sure it's under ten!"
Noodle didn't mind her new personal trainer, but at ten years of age? With what she was doing, she felt that this was against child labour laws.
"Okay, 100 meters!" The coach ordered. "-And… Go!"
Noodle took off from a standing start. She sprinted down the track at a speed never before seen by the human eye. You see, when Noodle's coach said ten, he meant ten milliseconds. ('Why', will be explained a little later.)
"8.53," the coach said. "Well done Noodle san."
"Arigato, sensei." Noodle replied. "Sayonara sensei!" (Roughly translated, this means: "Thank you teacher! Goodbye teacher!")
"Doitashimasute, Noodle." ("You're welcome Noodle.")
Chapter Two
Russell Hobbs
"You ain't know shit!" Russell yelled, as a faded blue van screeched around the corner, knocking over a post box in the process.
"Let's see if you can eat bullets as well as hot-dogs!" A man yelled, as he climbed half-way out of the sun roof, with a rifle in his hand. It was loaded too, judging by the way he held it – pointed at Russell's head.
Russell dived left at the last second, as the man unleashed a barrage of bullets. From his hiding place, Russell saw two of his friends drop down to the floor, blood seeping through the bullet holes in their bodies.
The van skidded around and came back to finish them off.
They scattered, as the man with the gun let loose another wave.
One of them ran in front of the van and it skidded.
All Russell heard was a dull thud.
The van's front end was smeared with blood and entrails.
The driver turned on the windscreen wipers, but that only made the mess worse.
The last of Russell's friends was shot in the leg. He fell and his face skidded along the asphalt road. He cracked his head into a lamp-post and came to his final resting place.
Chapter Three
2D
"Awright, darlin'!" 2D shouted. "Three for the price of one! Bloody bargain!"
It was just another ordinary day for 2D. He was busy helping his dad with the shop.
"Hey, dad!" He called. "I'm gonna knock off for the day, I might go to the fair before it closes or something like that, you know?"
2D had met plenty of chicks at the fair. More than most men would even see in a life-time. And he had rooted nearly every one of them. His favourite ride to get 'em was the 'Gravitron'.
2D was working his usual shift – which was serving at the counter – one day, when a beat-up old car suddenly burst through the front of the shop, showering 2D with chunks of brick and shards of glass.
2D was smashed against the far wall of the shop.
In a daze, the world spinning 'round in his head, he pointed at the man getting out of the car.
"Who the hell're you? You know you're gonna have to pay for that? You break it you buy it." 2D said, then he slumped down to the floor, unconscious.
Chapter Four
Murdoc Nicalls
"Awfully sorry, gov'ner," said Murdoc Nicalls to the man he had just hit. "Sorry about the shop." He walked around a pile of broken pottery vases and stood over 2D.
"Say, I'm lookin' to start a band. Are you in?" He asked. He looked down at the still form of 2D. "Well!? Answer, man!"
"Urgh…" 2D groaned. Behind him, an aerosol can exploded.
"I'll be takin' that as a yes, then? Excellent! Well, we best be getting' outta here before the coppers arrive then, eh?" Murdoc said.
Murdoc hadn't really meant to crash the car into the shop. Okay, that was a lie. He'd been bored. It wasn't his fault the steering had stuck, or the brakes had failed. But then again, it was his idea to go around a tight corner at over one hundred kilometres an hour. Oh yes, that had been fun.
He picked up 2D and draped him over his shoulders.
"Hey. You're 'eavier than you look, you know?" He commented.
Chapter Five
...Noodle arrives at Kong...
Terrifying thoughts and pictures ran through her head.
…Jumping over buildings, people with their eyes missing, wolves stalking their prey, dead bodies lying on the floor, the stench unbearable…
"Noodle…"
…Kids with guns, the grim reaper, knives dripping with blood…
"Noodle…"
…Mass murders, George W. Bush, rotting corpses rising up to claim the world…
"Noodle! Wake up!"
…People with body parts missing, Barry Manilow, a beheaded serpent…
"Bloody hell, Noodle! Wake up!"
Noodle sat straight up. Sweat was beading down her face.
"Damn, Noodle san." Said a voice. "You had us worried there for a second."
Noodle blinked as her eyes adjusted to the bright light.
"Uh?" She murmured. She felt around the edges of what she was in.
"What is this?" She demanded.
"It's a container made of wood." A voice answered.
"A shipping crate," Noodle said, the faces around her becoming clearer.
"A 'Fed-ex' crate." The voice corrected.
"But why?" She asked. "What am I doing here? Who are y-"
"Welcome to Kong Studios in Sussex!" Another voice announced.
"Sussex?" Noodle repeated. "Isn't that in England?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah." Said a tall, thin person with wavy blue hair. "You been studyin' yer geography kid?" He asked.
Noodle shook her head. She wasn't sure. She wasn't sure about a lot of things.
"Alright, alright." Said Murdoc. "Enough of this bloody chit-chat. We got work to do." He instructed. "Let's get inside."
Chapter Six
...Flying high...
"Okay, Mr Hobbs," said the air-line consultant. "You'll be flying economy class to London."
"Can I come back?" Russell asked, scratching his bald head.
"Ah, no. It's a one way trip." The clerk went to a printer at another desk and took out a glossy-looking strip of paper. "Here is your ticket. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you enjoy your flight."
Russell shrugged as he walked off.
Yeah, yeah. He thought. What do you care? You don't even know me anyway.
The flight to Heathrow Airport was mostly uneventful and with no in-flight movies showing, Russell was very bored, very quickly.
"Huh, no movies, no alcohol. All they got is a bloody magazine with pictures of food in it. Go figure."
Chapter Seven
...Shred it!...
"Is that a guitar?" Noodle asked enthusiastically.
"Yup." 2D answered glumly.
"Really?" Noodle breathed. "Hey, hey! 2D!" She called as 2D walked off.
"What?" He asked. Turning around, he caught the pleading look in Noodle's eyes. "You wanna play it?" He questioned.
Noodle's eyes lit up. "Oh, could I?" She implored. "Could I? Please, please, please?"
"I suppose." 2D allowed.
Murdoc where are you? 2D thought. Son of a bitch! I hope I don't have to be stuck with this annoying little Jap for too long.
2D took the guitar out of its glass display case.
The guitar itself was red, with a creamy white colour surrounding the strings.
Correction. An electric guitar. 2D thought.
He handed the guitar to Noodle.
Chapter Eight
...Caught in the act...
Murdoc stopped in his tracks. What was that beautiful sound?
More importantly, Murdoc thought. Where is it coming from?
It was a magical sound, unlike any other he had heard before.
Shit! He thought. I know that sound!
He ran back to the elevator that would take him to one of the first floor's corridors. He pushed the button that said (1).
Running across the first floor lobby as fast as his spindly legs would carry him, he crashed through the second door on his right. There was Noodle, guitar in hand, playing a sweet melody on…
My vintage edition, 1984 classic rock guitar! Murdoc thought.
"2D!" He shouted. "Make her stop that! Right now!"
2D looked over his shoulder. "Oh, hi Murdoc." He said. "Wondering when you'd show up. Is this your guitar?" He asked.
"Yes! Jimi Hendrix once pissed on that! It hasn't been washed since! Make her put it down!" Murdoc yelled.
"Okay, Noodle." 2D said. "Fun time's over."
Noodle carefully placed the guitar back on its stand inside the display case and quietly closed the door, her face glum.
Then she suddenly brightened. "That was great fun!" She exclaimed.
Shit! Murdoc thought. It was her playing the guitar!? Wow! That's the kind of talent I need in my band!
"Ahem." Murdoc cleared his throat. "So…" He began. "So you like to play guitar, kid?" He asked.
"Uh huh!" Noodle answered happily.
"It's not 'Kid'." 2D interjected, his comment clearly aimed at Murdoc. "It's Noodle." He said.
"Uh, uh, uh." Said Noodle, flashing a joyful grin. "It's Noodle 'san'." She chided playfully.
"Hmph." Murdoc sulked. He'd been beaten. "Somebody's all hyped up on sugar. Come with me. I've already prepared your room."
Chapter Nine
...Noodle's room...
Murdoc led them to the first floor lobby's elevator. He pressed a button that said (2). The elevator went up the shaft and 'pinged!' at level two. They walked past an elephant with its back-side in their faces.
Whoa! 2D thought. I really gotta stay off those happy pills!
"That's not a hallucination." Murdoc said, as if he had read 2D's mind.
"Whatever…" 2D murmured.
They walked down a dimly lit hallway.
Murdoc opened a door, walked through and flicked a switch.
A fluorescent light blinked on over-head.
The room itself was bare, except for a couple of tatami mats on the floor in the middle of the room. Cracks lined the walls and moths hovered around the light. And there was a smell. Not a heavy smell, but a bad one none the less.
What a piece of shit! 2D thought.
Noodle, on the other hand, thought it was fantastic.
"It's beautiful!" She exclaimed. "Wow! Two tatami mats? Murdoc, you shouldn't have!"
"Well, you know… You are our guest and all, so I figured, 'What the heck! May as well make her feel at home!'"
"Gee, thank you so much!"
Huh, I guess she isn't used to this. 2D thought. But she's going to have to sleep on the floor…
"You're going to have to sleep on the floor," Murdoc began, relaying 2D's thoughts once again. "Until we can get a bed in here of course." He added quickly.
Noodle looked up at Murdoc. He towered above her in height.
"No, that's okay." She said. "I'm used to sleeping on the floor. I just need a pillow."
Murdoc leaned over and whispered into 2D's ear.
"Go to the elevator and press the (B) button. It'll take you down to the basement car-park. Go into the Winnebago. Ignore the lady in the kitchen. Go into my area of the Winnebago and grab a pillow for me would you ol' buddy?" Murdoc asked, flashing a toothy grin.
"Okay." 2D managed to say. Murdoc's breath smelt terrible! There was absolutely no way to describe its nastiness.
Chapter Ten
...All you can eat...
Russell got off the aeroplane at approximately 7:53pm.
The first thing I'm doing, is getting something to eat. He thought.
It took him a while to find the airport's food-court. The airport was really busy today.
At Burger King, he ordered a large, flame-grilled whopper, with a large fries and a diet Pepsi. The whole thing cost him $5.97 American.
Thank god for ATM's. He thought.
By the time he had reached the front doors of the airport, the time had reached 11:27pm.
Damn! Russell thought. Time flies when you're pissin' yourself bored.
Chapter Eleven
...Smells. Bad ones...
Winnebago, Winnebago… 2D thought. Huh, you'd think something that smells that bad would be easy to find.
Well, he wasn't wrong about the smell. As soon as 2D stepped into the basement car-park, a terrible odour assaulted his nose.
Shit!! He thought. This is the most foul smelling piece of…
Once inside the Winnebago, the pillow wasn't hard to find.
Murdoc's instructions rung around in his head.
"Ignore the lady in the kitchen…"
2D did just that. The weird lady in the kitchen looked like she could use all the ignoring she could get.
Mean, 2D thought. But true.
"So…" Murdoc trailed off, collecting his thoughts. "Okay listen, Noodle." He began, getting up to leave.
"Where are you going?" Noodle asked.
"I was just about to tell you. Murdoc has to go out for a little while, so you be good for little 2D."
"But-" Noodle blurted.
"Okay," Murdoc continued, ignoring Noodle's protest. "See you in a little while."
Chapter Twelve
...Murdoc meets Russell...
Murdoc ran down the corridor at full speed.
Okay, he thought. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?
He turned left at the 'Groove Bones Selecta' jukebox, and skidded to a halt.
Damn! I'm gonna have to catch the bus!
(And I'm not going to explain what he was looking for. Yet.)
Once in the downtown area, Murdoc relaxed a little.
Okay, let's see if we can find a fat, black, bald American. He thought.
To be honest, Russell Hobbs wasn't that hard to find. He was walking around, wearing a Detroit Red Wings hockey jersey.
"Yo, any o' you guys got some change?" He was shouting, in a thick New-Jersey accent.
You know… Murdoc thought. I think we may have found a contender.
"Uh, hullo." Murdoc said, as he approached the slightly crazy American. "Are you Russell Hobbs?" He asked, even though he knew it was.
"Yeah," Russell replied. "Whaddya gonna do about it?" He asked.
"I'm looking for a fourth band member." Murdoc announced.
"So? You got any money?" Russell asked, ignoring Murdoc's comment.
"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to join," Murdoc continued.
"'M I gonna get paid?" Russell asked, picking up an empty beer bottle and checking its contents.
"Well, yes. You will be paid."
"Alright, when do I start?"
Chapter Thirteen
...Noodle explains...
2D walked back into Noodle's room to find Noodle sitting on the floor looking rather alone.
"Hey," he said quietly. "Where'd Murdoc go?"
"He said he had to go out." Noodle replied.
"Do you know why?" 2D asked.
Noodle shook her head. "He just said to stay here and be good."
"Did he say where he was going?" 2D pressed on.
Noodle shook her head again. "No."
"Okay," 2D said. "Hey, I got you a pillow." He showed Noodle the pillow.
Noodle laughed. "Not one of those pillows. We don't sleep with them."
Huh? 2D thought.
"I don't get it," he said.
"We sleep with traditional Japanese pillows." Noodle explained. "You know, the cylindrical shaped ones?" She asked.
(The pillows Noodle is referring to support the neck, instead of the head. They are traditional in Japan, and have been used there for hundreds of years.)
2D shook his head. "No… Well, we'll sort that out later," he said. "Let's look around for the time being."
"You mean like exploring?" Noodle asked gleefully.
"Yeah," 2D replied. "I guess you could call it that." He said with a smile. For the first time since he had first met Noodle, he felt happy about being near her.
She just has such playful energy! 2D thought. To be honest, I wanna know where she gets it all from! I mean, she's like twelve years old, (yes, 2D is just guessing. We all know that Noodle is ten) I wonder if she looks to me as a fatherly figure…?
They went down to the elevator.
"Where do you want to go first?" 2D asked Noodle.
"I don't know," Noodle replied. "First floor?"
2D nodded and pressed the button marked (1) on the right-hand panel.
"Going down," he said.
Chapter Fourteen
...Licence to kill...
Murdoc led Russell through the town of Sussex.
"So," he began. "What brings you out here?"
"Well, where am I, for a start?" Russell asked, slurring his words.
"I-I'm sorry?" Murdoc asked.
"Where am I?" Russell repeated.
"You are in Sussex, which is in England." Murdoc replied.
Russell shook his head in disbelief,
"Y-you mean, I'm not in London!?" He exclaimed, a very worried look planting itself on his face.
"No," was Murdoc's reply.
The walk to the studios took them well over an hour. Russell spent almost the entire time complaining about his hunger.
"You know what I would kill for right now-?" Russell began.
Then Murdoc cut him off. "Well, funny thing about... er... murder, is that you don't really need a licence to do it. If you're really in the mood to bump someone off, then usually you're not the type to wait around for written permission, know what I mean? That said. Who would I kill? Hmmm. I'm not into people doing shit cover versions of songs I like. That gets to me. And... er... people who write articles on fake health conditions so they can sell you a bunch of pills to 'cure' it. That's pretty sick. And... er... People who use charity situations as some kind of profiteering racket. Y'know after that Tsunami wave a bunch of people were found using it to skim money off donations and stuff. That's kind of disgraceful. On a day-to-day basis though, it's usually just people who get in my way when I'm marching down the street. So take your pick who you think I'd kill. I'm not really that bothered."
"What!?" Russell said.
Murdoc stopped talking and blinked a couple of times, as if he had just come out of a really deep sleep, into really bright light.
"Now, what were you saying?" He asked.
Chapter Fifteen
...Explorers...
"What's this?" Noodle asked, pointing to an old juke-box.
"It's a 'Groove… Bones… Selecta' juke-box. We used to have a couple of old ones in our shop. Sold 'em for a pretty neat price too." 2D said, remembering the days that were now long gone, never to be seen again.
"Uh, huh." Noodle said.
(I know, nobody's making any sense anymore. Keep reading, it's about to get worse.)
2D stepped around a large pile of rubble.
"Hmm, looks like they got a slight leak." 2D said, referring to the gaping hole in the wall.
Noodle laughed at this.
Now they'd been walking around for quite some time, before either of them realised what time it was.
"Must be night-time I reckon," 2D commented.
"How can you tell?" Noodle asked, scratching her arm. There were mosquitos everywhere.
"Do you see how dark it is out there!?"
2D motioned towards the wall. Well, at least where the wall should have been. It was raining through now, making the floor beneath slippery and wet.
"Oh." Was all Noodle could say.
"Alright," 2D said, stifling a yawn. "I reckon we could both use some sleep."
Noodle nodded.
"Okay," 2D continued. "Let's call it a night."
Chapter Sixteen
...Russell's room...
"So, uh…" Murdoc began. "What do you for a living?" He asked.
Russell shrugged. "Well, I was a window cleaner. And I went around paintin' houses fo' a while," he explained.
"But you never actually applied for any long-term job in…"
He stopped talking without finishing his sentence.
"What!?" Russell complained.
Murdoc put his hand up to indicate silence.
"We're here."
Once inside the building, Murdoc led Russell to the lobby's elevator.
"Where are we going?" Russell asked for the millionth time.
"I'm going to take you to your living quarters," Murdoc replied.
"You mean, where I'll sleep?"
"Well, yes. I guess so."
Once on the second floor, Murdoc walked down the corridor adjacent to the one Noodle's bedroom was in.
Then Russell saw the room.
"What the fuck!?" Russell cried. "This place is a mess! A pig-sty!"
"B-b-but… You don't like it?" Murdoc blurted out.
"Are you kidding!? This is great!!"
With this comment, Murdoc breathed a sigh of relief.
Chapter Seventeen
...A little nippy...
The next morning was a cold one, and with no blankets in her room, Noodle was becoming increasingly cold.
Walking into the kitchen, she made herself a cup of coffee.
Just as the kettle had boiled and Noodle had poured the milk, Murdoc walked in and grabbed it.
"Thanks, Noodle." He said. "Just the kind of warm refreshment I need in the mornings!"
He was already up and on-the-go. Noodle was still in her pyjamas. She felt quite embarrassed.
2D woke up a little later, walking into the kitchen in a pair of boxer shorts.
Shit! Murdoc thought. It's freezing! He'll be sorry.
"That's kind of silly, 2D." Noodle commented.
2D turned around. "What's silly?" He asked, putting a couple of slices of bread into the toaster.
"It's like a bajillion degrees below zero, and you're wearing those?"
2D just shrugged. "I guess I don't feel the cold the way you guys do."
Russell didn't wake up.
2D came up with an idea that would freak him out.
"So… We get a bucket of freezing cold water…" he whispered to Noodle.
Noodle nodded, getting the idea.
"Then," she continued. "We throw it on him.
2D nodded. "Uh, huh."
"And then, we run like mad. Ha!"
Noodle liked this idea. This would be the most fun she'd ever had here.
Apart from the time when 2D had let her play the guitar.
Chapter Eighteen
...I said it's time to wake up!
Splash!
"What the fuck!"
Russell woke up; very abruptly.
He was soaking wet. Everything was wet.
"Mother f-"
"Hello, Russell san!"
Noodle popped her head up at the bottom of the bed.
"Huh?" Was all Russell could say.
"Sur-prise." 2D said.
"Urgh…" Russell looked over at his alarm clock.
His alarm clock! It was gone!
Wait! Russell thought. I'm not in New-Jersey any more.
"So, what took you so long?" 2D asked, his hands jammed into his pockets.
And you are…?
"Are you gonna have breakfast, Russell san?" Noodle asked.
"I don't know where the kitchen is." Russell said.
Now I remember where I am, England!
Noodle stepped up to an old turn-table.
"A record player? Why do you have one of these?" She asked.
Russell shrugged. "I dunno," he said.
But where in England?
Chapter Nineteen
...Noodle's new guitar...
Okay, so how much is a new guitar? Murdoc thought, as he walked through the streets of Sussex.
He had left fairly early that morning.
Why? He thought. To get Noodle a guitar, but I have absolutely no idea how much a guitar costs.
The walk around town took most of the morning – and with only enough money for Noodle's guitar –
Murdoc was starting to get hunger pangs in is stomach.
Oh! Me and my stupid haste! He thought.
…Meanwhile, back at Kong Studios…
"Mm – this is some of the best bacon I've ever eaten," Russell told Noodle. "And believe me; I eat a lot
of bacon." He said.
"Yeah," 2D commented. "We can tell."
"Hey!" Noodle scolded. "That wasn't very nice, 2D."
2D just shrugged. "Oh, well."
You really think I give a shit? He thought.
"You better apologise to Mr. Russell, right now!" Noodle instructed.
Oh, great. Taking orders from a bloody ten-year-old. Gee, what next? 2D thought.
"Sorry, man." He said.
Russell laughed. "Nah, that's alright. But, y'gotta admit; it is pretty funny."
…The instrumental shop…
(Yes, Murdoc actually found it.)
The guitar Murdoc had purchased for Noodle basically looked the same as his bass. It had a dark blue
tinge to the white area surrounding the strings, and a chrome backing. It was, in Murdoc's opinion, a
very good looking guitar.
Now to get back to Kong Studios. We must begin recording right away!
Chapter Twenty
...Just messin' around...
"Okay, people!" Murdoc called out. "Up and at 'em!"
He looked into the kitchen as he walked by. It was empty.
All of a sudden, a loud drum-beat began pounding from a room close by.
It was followed closely by an electric guitar, and then vocals.
Oh no! Not again!
Murdoc ran into the room directly to his left. There he saw three people.
2D, Russell and Noodle.
"Stop! Stop! What are you doing!?" He shouted.
They didn't stop. To be honest, I don't think they even heard him at first.
Murdoc waved his arms. "Stop!" He shouted. "Stop this! Right now!"
The noises ceased.
"What?" Russell asked, bending over to pick up a drum-stick he had dropped.
"What are you doing!?" Murdoc shouted.
Hmm, he seems to like saying that. 2D thought.
"We're playing music," Noodle answered.
"Well I can see that," Murdoc replied sarcastically.
2D piped up. "Why did you stop us, anyway?" He asked.
Murdoc shrugged and quickly changed the subject.
"Hey, Noodle." He said. "Guess what I got for you today?"
"What? What!?" Noodle asked enthusiastically.
"I got you…" He paused, taking the guitar out of its case. "A guitar."
Noodle's eyes lit up. "Oh-my-god!" She breathed.
"Hah! I knew you'd like it!" Murdoc said.
"Can I try it out?" Noodle asked.
"Go ahead." Murdoc replied.
Chapter Twenty-one
...The recording booth...
…The next day…
Noodle awoke to find 2D standing over her.
"Hey!" She said in surprise. "What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Murdoc wants us to start recording something." 2D replied.
"Why?" Noodle questioned.
2D shrugged. "I dunno," he said. "I suppose he thinks we're gonna be a 'top-notch-band' or
something similar."
"Ok-aay…" Noodle muttered.
"Soo…" He continued. "You'd better be up and dressed before Murdoc comes in."
"Why?" Noodle asked.
"Be-cause, he'll be a little pissed off if we don't start on time." 2D replied.
"Oh." Was all Noodle could say.
The recording booth was easy enough to find, sure enough. But to actually get through all of the crap in
the way… Now there was a challenge not to be taken lightly.
"Hel-lo peoples," Murdoc said as 2D and Noodle entered the room. "I assume you have a reason for
your being late!?" He snapped.
"Uh, no actually, we don't." 2D replied.
"Yes, yes. Let's get on with it then." Murdoc ordered.
"Wait!" Noodle piped up.
"What!?" Murdoc yelled.
"Where's Russell?" Noodle asked, drawing back in fear at the sound of Murdoc's voice, pounding at
her ear-drums.
"Oh, don't worry. He'll be here." Murdoc answered, a devious grin plastered on his face.
Yeah, right. 2D thought. He's probably still in bed, fast asleep.
Chapter Twenty-two
...Russell's new look...
Russell walked into the room looking a lot different than he had yesterday.
He was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt, baggy denim pants and a Red Wings cap. The shirt was light
grey around the chest/stomach area and around the back, and light green on the sleeves. There was the
Irish insignia of a shamrock imprinted on the left sleeve. And there was one thing that shocked
everybody.
Russell Hobbs – for the first time in many, many years – was smiling.
"Heads up, my homies!" He said as he walked into the booth.
2D gave a sort of 'salute-wave'. "Hey, nice look." He complimented.
"See?" Murdoc said in an 'I-told-you-so', informative-sounding tone. "I told you he'd show up."
"Wow, Russell san!" Noodle said.
Hmm. Is that all she can say? 2D thought. She always seems to be 'wow!'ing this or 'wow!'ing that.
It's like she doesn't have any other words in her entire vocabulary.
"I like the attitude change, Russell san." Noodle began. "I noticed the 'vibe' as soon as you came in.
You seem to give off a certain aura of happiness now."
"Okay, Noodle…" Murdoc said, trying to butt-in to Noodle's 'speech'.
Noodle gave him a stern glare.
Murdoc stepped back and imitated someone 'zipping' their lips
together and throwing away the key.
Noodle nodded slowly. "Noodle san" She said coldly.
Murdoc was taken aback. Surely this angry woman couldn't be the same young girl who'd been so
happy, only a couple of moments ago.
All of a sudden, Noodle's expression changed again, and she began chatting away, as if the incident
that had just happened, only a few seconds ago, hadn't actually happened at all(!)
(NOTE This: (!) symbol, is a 'semi-exclamation mark'. It is used to tell the reader to add a
slight tone of voice when speaking the story aloud.)
Ok-ayyMurdoc thought. That was actually quite scary – and I don't scare easily.
"I mean – really, Russell san. What on Earth could get you so happy in such a short amount of time?"
Noodle concluded.
Wait a minute! Murdoc thought, still mulling over the past. An activity which 2D would later say,
destroyed a lot of famous or successful people.
I'm supposed to be the scary, creepy…ish one here! I'm meant to be the freak! Murdoc's thoughts
tangled up all of a sudden. Wait. I think 'freak' is going a bit too far. I'm not a freak – Am I…?
"Well," Russell started to reply.
"Ahem." Murdoc cleared his throat. (Yes, I know. Again(!)?)
Noodle knew what he was attempting to do – stop Russell from talking, of course – so she gave him
another cold, hard stare.
Murdoc receded once again into his own world of thoughts.
I hope this is just what people call 'a phase'. Yeah. I hope this is just a, 'phase' that she's going
through; or about to go through. This band really needs her to keep her sanity. If we're to succeed, of
course.
"Well," Russell said, beginning again. "This morning…"
He paused for suspense.
Murdoc could have sworn he saw 2D and Noodle lean in ever so slightly, as if in anticipation of a great
and heroic tale.
Huh. Heroic my ass. Murdoc thought.
"This morning, Murdoc told me the areas where the local McDonalds is, where the Burger King is, and
where the KFC is." He told them, as if it were a long story, greatly detailed. He seemed very excited.
Huh, excited over a chicken and a medium fries. Murdoc thought, referring to Russell's apparent love
of take-away food from fast-food franchises.
Who would'a thought?
"So." Murdoc said, finally getting a word in. "Are we going to begin recording some music or what?"
His voice had an ever-so-slight hint of annoyance in it.
2D, already one to find out just how angry Murdoc could get, decided to complete Murdoc's ramblings
with a slightly less serious tone.
"Awright, you monkeys! Let's get rockin'!"
Chapter Twenty-three
...Last Living Souls...
"Okay, drums start off playing a sort of boppy beat. This will be the introduction. It will be followed
closely by bass, and guitar. 2D, do you know how to keep a beat?"
2D nodded.
"Okay, you'll start singing the words I wrote on that sheet of paper." Murdoc was instructing the
seemingly accidentally formed 'band'. Things were actually going quite well.
"Okay, Russell. Start 'er up!"
Russell 'started 'er up' with a good strong drum beat.
Murdoc responded with his bass, which Noodle followed up with her new guitar.
All of a sudden, Noodle let out a huge guitar riff, but instead of stopping their progress, Murdoc stayed
silent, his fingers talking through his bass.
Then 2D started singing. It was a little shabby, but that was nothing a little voice and vocal training
couldn't fix.
"Are we the last… living souls? Are we the last… living souls? Are we the last… livin' souls? Yeah,
we're the last… livin' souls." 2D began.
And as the night wore on, the sounds of music faded, replaced
by the soft hoots of owls, and the chirping of crickets.
Chapter Twenty-four
...Mike's mess...
The next morning, Russell was the first one to wake up. (Surprisingly.)
"Hey guys!?" He called as he walked into the kitchen. "Guys!?"
The kitchen was empty, save for empty beer cans, strewn all over the floor.
Fuckin' hell. I don't remember doin' all this stuff. He thought. This place is a bloody mess. Did we even make it?
2D walked in the kitchen and pulled a wedgie from his backside.
"Urgh, not somthin' I wanted to see." Russell muttered.
"What?" 2D said turning around slowly.
He scratched his head absent-mindedly. He was obviously not fully awake yet.
"Nothin'." Russell replied.
2D made himself a coffee.
"That was summink last night, wasn'it?" He commented.
"Uh, yeah. I guess." Russell replied.
2D put a slice of toast into the toaster. (And yes, you heard right, 2D put toast into the toaster. He's not fully 'awake' yet, remember?)
"Huh, not hungry this mornin'?" Russell asked him.
"Wha-?"
"Never mind."
Russell walked out of the kitchen and headed for his bedroom.
On the way he passed Noodle, who had red feet on her night-gown. Red paint.
"What 'appened to you?" He asked.
"Oh, nothing. My monkey got loose." Noodle explained.
"Your monkey got loose? Right…" Russell taunted.
Noodle shook a fist at Russell and scowled. "Do you think I'm kidding, Russell san!? Huh!? Are you calling me a liar!?" She shouted.
Russell was taken aback.
"Uh, no! Not at all! I'm sorry!" He yelled, apologising profusely.
Suddenly, Noodle's expression changed.
"That's okay, Russell san. Just make sure you don't call me a liar again."
"So," Russell said, hoping to start up a conversation. "What's your monkey's name?" He asked.
Noodle kept on walking and didn't turn around. "Mike." She replied.
…later that day…
Russell sat on his bed, thinking about the event that had happened earlier that day.
If we didn't trash the kitchen…
His thoughts went back to when he had seen Noodle.
"What 'appened to you?" He had asked.
"Oh, nothing. My monkey got loose." Noodle had replied.
Then he had said something to offend her. He didn't mean it, but she had taken it seriously.
"Do you think I'm kidding, Russell san!? Huh!? Are you calling me a liar!?"
Russell had been scared shitless.
"Uh, no! Not at all! I'm sorry!"
And then Noodle's expression had changed.
Huh, talk about major mood-swings! Russell thought.
All of a sudden, Russell's thoughts flashed back to the day that Noodle had scared Murdoc, when Murdoc had interrupted her evaluation of Russell's new look. (Which he has since gotten rid of, 2D said it wasn't him.)
"I like the attitude change, Russell san." Noodle had begun. "I noticed the 'vibe' as soon as you walked in. You seem to give off a certain aura of happiness now." She had said.
"Okay, Noodle…" Murdoc had said, trying to butt-in to Noodle 'speech'.
The Noodle had given him a stern glare.
"It's Noodle san." She had corrected.
Murdoc had talked to Russell about it later.
"I mean, shit! That was creepy, man." He shuddered. "She was like – a whole different person, or something else entirely!"
"Uh, huh." Russell had replied.
"And then – she starts up again, chatting away like nothing ever happened!!" Murdoc continued.
"Yeah…" Russell had sighed.
"Man, I hope nothing like that ever happens again…"
Huh, Noodle really freaked him out. Russell thought. And he's not one to be scared easily.
Chapter Twenty-five
...Visions...
Nobody saw Murdoc that day. He was hiding.
Down in the basement car-park, Murdoc was tapping away at his lap-top's keyboard like there was no tomorrow.
…Tomorrow Comes Today…
Those three words flashed through his mind only briefly, and at first, Murdoc ignored them, thinking that someone else had said them. But who would? There was nobody here but him! He looked around cautiously, his eyes scanning the scene around him. But there was no-one to be seen.
Huh, Murdoc thought. Creepy.
…El Mañana…
There it was again! Words passing through his mind for the briefest instant.
Murdoc shrugged and went back to his lap-top.
He started humming, as he typed away.
All of a sudden, many, many words appeared in his mind…
…Summer don't know me no more,
He got mad, tiresome.
Summer don't know me,
He just left me low, in myself.
Cause I do know love, from you then,
Just dying…
Then it stopped again.
Murdoc shook his head.
"Fuckin' 'ell!" He said to himself. "What's goin' on?"
Then his mind was invaded by thoughts once again.
…I saw that day,
Lost my mind,
Lord I'm fine…
…Maybe in time, you'll want to be mine…
Huh, Murdoc thought. Sounds just like the lyrics of a song. Wait a minute…
Meanwhile, the others were experiencing visions of their own.
2D
2D was walking down the corridor, towards the toilets – the only toilets in the entire building, when his mind was suddenly sent reeling.
…I lost my leg,
Like I lost my way.
So no loose ends,
Nothin' to see me down,
How are we going to work this out…?
Being constantly plagued by migraines and headaches, 2D's mind was probably the weakest of the groups'.
Because of this, he could not shake away the thoughts, visions and images that raced through his mind.
…Dreams all bad,
A head turned mad…
I love the girl,
But God only knows,
It's getting hard, to see the sun, coming through.
I love you.
What are we going to do…?
Picture I'm a dreamer,
I'll take you deeper,
Down to the sleepy glow.
Time is a low,
Though you know,
What are we going to do…?
Where do we go, when we get back?
A the second selfless days,
You're in love with him,
I want, to see your face again.
I love you…
But what are we going to do…?
The thoughts, whizzed around, faster and faster. His mind was full to bursting. He felt like his head was going to explode!
He fell to the ground, holding his hands – balled into fists – to his head.
"Argh!!" He screamed in pain.
Noodle
Noodle heard 2D's cry, and ran to help him.
She ran around a corner to see 2D lying on the floor, unconscious.
"2D!" She shouted. "2D, my Zen Brother! Are you okay?" She asked the still form of 2D.
WHAM!!!
Noodle fell sideways also.
She sat up and shook her head.
Wow, who would'a thought, she thought. That the power of thought was so powerful?
She chuckled to herself, getting to her feet.
And then…
WHAM!!!
It happened again.
…In my back-pack,
I got my act right,
In case you act quite difficult,
And your result,
Weaken,
With anger and discontent,
Some are seekin' and searching
Like Nimoy,
I'm a peace lovin' decoy,
Waitin' for retaliation,
I change your whole location,
To a pine box six-under,
Impulsive don't ask why or wonder,
Orders given to me is
Strike and I'm thunder,
With lightning fast reflexes,
On constant alert from the constant hurt,
That seems limitless with no drop in pressure,
Seems like everybody's out to test ya
Till they see you break,
You can't conceal the hate,
That consumes ya,
I'm the reason why you fill up your Isuzu,
Chill with your old lady at the tilt,
I got a ninety days extension,
And I'm filled with guilt,
From the things that I've seen,
Your water's from a bottle,
Mine's from a canteen,
At night, I hear the shots ring,
So I'm a light sleeper,
The cost of life seems to get cheaper,
Out in the desert,
With a street sweeper,
The war is over, so said the speaker,
With the flight suit on,
Maybe to him I'm just a pawn,
So he can advance,
I remember when I used to dance,
All I want to do is dance…
"I need a gun to keep myself from harm, the poor people, are burnin' in the sun. Well they ain't got a chance, they ain't got a chance, I need a gun, cos' all they do is dance, cos' all they do is… Dance…" Noodle began singing.
Russell
Russell was on the toilet when the 'thought' hit him.
He was reading a newspaper, with the front page headline being:
Cannibal
Massakren
"Hmm, hm, dah-di-dum." He hummed to himself.
When all of a sudden.
WHAM!!!
Russell fell forwards, then side-ways, cracking his head on the toilet bowl.
Then his mind was consumed by lyrics.
…City's breakin' down on a camels back,
They just have to go 'cos they don't know whack.
So all you fill the streets, it's appealing to see,
You won't get undercounted 'cos you're bad and free.
You got a new horizon it's an ephemeral style,
In a melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I want to hear is the message beep,
My dreams they come a kissin' 'cos I don't get sleep, no…
Windmill, windmill for the land,
Turn forever, hand in hand.
Take it all there on your stride,
It is tickling, fallin' down…
Love forever, love is free
Let's turn forever, you and me.
Windmill, windmill for the land,
Is everybody in?
Laughing gas these haz-mats,
Fast cats, lining them up like ass cracks,
Lay these ponies at the track,
It's my chocolate attack.
Shit I'm steppin' in it hotter this year,
Care-Bear reppin' it harder this year,
Watch me as I gravitate, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…!
Gonna ghost town
This Motown,
With your sound you're in the blink,
Gonna bit the dust
Can't fight with us,
With your sound you kill the Inc.
So don't stop, get it, get it,
Until your cheddar ahead-a,
And watch the way I navigate,
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha…!
Windmill, windmill for the land,
Turn forever, hand in hand,
Take it all there on your stride,
It is tickling, falling down…
Love forever, love is free,
Let's turn forever, you and me.
Windmill, windmill for the land,
Is everybody in…?
Don't stop, get it, get it,
We are your captains in it,
Steady, watch me navigate,
Aha-ha-ha-ha…!
Don't stop, get it, get it,
We are your captains in it,
Steady, watch me navigate,
Aha-ha-ha-ha…!
Chapter Twenty-six
...Confused?...
2D woke up on the floor.
Next to him, he could just see another object. The image was fuzzy, as he still felt a little groggy. Besides, the object was in the area of his peripheral vision.
2D lifted his head up. Now he could see it properly. But what he saw, shocked him immensely.
"Noodle!" 2D shouted. He struggled to get up, but fell on his stomach again. He was too weak.
Okay… 2D thought. Time to try a different approach.
"Noodle!!" He shouted even louder.
Noodle's eyes opened, slowly, but they opened.
"Jiu san?" She replied. "Is that you?" She asked.
2D reached out an arm to feel Noodle's forehead.
Wow! She's got a temperature alright. No doubt about it. He thought.
"It's alright, Noodle san." 2D comforted. "It's okay. Everything's going to be fine."
Chapter Twenty-seven
Feel Good Inc.
Russell woke up to find his pants down, and a newspaper on the floor.
Huh, he thought. I must've fallen asleep on the toilet again. He assumed. I really gotta stop doing that.
That's when the image floated through his mind. It came peacefully, and Russell let it stay, so he could study it.