Spoilers: Mild S5 spoilers (e.g baby name, Kanaan's state).

Disclaimers: I own no part of the Stargate world, I make no money etc…..

--

"Where are you going?"

Teyla turned from the door, Torren settled happily in her arms. "I am going to see Colonel Sheppard." She explained.

A light frown creased Kanaan's forehead. "I thought you went to see him this morning?"

"Yes, but I thought I would visit him again this evening and take Torren down there as well." She pre-empted her lover's next question by adding "Doctor Keller says it is good for him to hear all of our familiar voices as often as possible and I want to speak to Doctor Keller anyway."

"About Colonel Sheppard?" Kanaan asked. She frowned at his continuing questions.

"Yes, but she is also my friend and I wish to speak with her." She allowed some of the annoyance she was now feeling to show through her tone.

Kanaan sighed lightly and looked away from where he sat on the end of his bed, the now empty spare crib beside him. She waited for him to express what was bothering him, though she suspected she already knew.

"Before, I was aware of your affection for the Colonel, you never hid that from me."

"He is my friend." She stated.

Kanaan looked up at her. "But he is more than that; he is a team mate….and a man you admitted you had once felt strong feelings for."

Teyla moved away from the door towards him. "Nothing has ever happened between myself and Colonel Sheppard and it will not."

"Because he expressed no interest in you." Kanaan replied, remaining seated as she stood over him with their child in her arms.

"Kanaan, what is this about?" She pressed, unwilling to directly answer his question.

He sighed again. "It just seems that you are visiting him a lot."

"Would you prefer that I ignore him and forget that he is unconscious and may never awaken?" She asked angry. Torren stirred uncomfortably in her arms in response to her changing mood. She rubbed a comforting hand against Torren's back, but kept her anger in full play for Kanaan to see.

"No, Teyla." Kanaan replied looking away from her angry eyes down to Torren shifting in her arms. "It is just that the doctors are not hopeful that he will ever recover. I do not wish to see you upset."

Her anger dimmed slightly, but did not die out completely as she refused to allow herself to think that John may be lost to them forever. "There is always hope, Kanaan. And if I and the rest of our team and friends have to sit by John every day for a year to help him return, then we shall do so."

Kanaan nodded.

"Do not forget that it was the determination of these people, Kanaan, who saved both of us from Michael. They saved all of our people."

"Those of us that remain."

"That is not their fault, Kanaan."

"Did they not create Michael?" Kanaan pushed with more determination than she had seen in him before.

"Yes initially. They made a mistake in what they did, but it was Michael who made his own choices after that, not these people. They did not make him the creature he has become; that was by his own hand."

Torren shifted and grumbled now in her arms. Kanaan reached out and caught one of his son's hands and made a comforting sound for the child. Then he lifted his eyes to hers. "He would not have done that had they not interfered with him genetically."

Teyla could barely believe what she was hearing. "How can you say that after what he did to you, and to our people? What he was going to do with Torren?"

"I am not saying I approve of him, Teyla. I am only stating that these people hold some blame."

"They saved us, saved our son and you blame them?"

Kanaan sighed, stood and walked several paces away. "No, Teyla. Michael was a vicious creature, but these people from Earth…. Yes they saved us, but from a problem that they themselves created."

"Are we then to blame them for a mistake they made years ago? These people are like family to me."

Kanaan strode closer. "We are your family. Your people are your family."

Teyla bounced Torren in her arms as he grumbled quietly. "What are you trying to say, Kanaan?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he studied her. "I am concerned about our son growing up here."

"In Atlantis?"

"Yes. How many times has this city been attacked? And besides…some of us miss having our own home. We miss the open air and forests of our home."

"A home from which you were all snatched from in the middle of the night? Michael may still be out there, Kanaan. He wants Torren. Torren is safer here."

His eyes dropped to her arms again, studying his son. Finally he nodded. "Perhaps you are right, for now."

Teyla stepped closer to him. "Kanaan, these are good people, you must see that."

"I do, but they draw destruction to them like light draws insects at night."

She reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "I know what you are saying holds some truth, but I still feel this is the best place for us, for our son. These are good people and I believe they are the best chance we have to bring an end to the Wraith and to Michael's plans."

Kanaan offered her a small smile. "Your dreams are as large as theirs."

She smiled and dropped her hand from his arm. "I will be back from the Infirmary soon, we can talk about this some more when I return."

Kanaan nodded, but she suspected he would not bring up the conversation again.

--

The Infirmary was quieter in the evenings, unless there was a crisis of some description. Tonight there was no such crisis, and Teyla saw that only a couple of beds were occupied. She slipped into the room and headed towards the far end to the isolated beds.

As she approached the last curtained off bed she could hear the bleeps of the machines and the rushing sound of the ventilator. The sounds were as rhythmic as always, telling her before she saw him that nothing had changed.

She rounded the curtain and John came into view. He was still too pale, lying on his back completely still except for the slight rising and falling of his chest. During the first few days of his coma she had sat here for hours watching that simple rising and falling of his chest, praying that it would continue, fighting her fear that it would stop. Two weeks had passed and there had been no change. But, it would not stop her from having hope and doing what little she could for her friend.

"Hello, John." She said in a low voice as she arrived at his side. "I have brought Torren John here to see you again. He is doing very well, though he still insists on being walked to sleep which is rather tiring."

She pulled up a chair and sat down by his shoulder, leaning forward to look at his face. "Rodney told me he has been keeping you up to date with what has been happening with the city. He may not have told you that he has been spending a lot of time with Doctor Keller lately. I suspect that she returns his feelings."

She paused and simply studied his pale unconscious face. It was clear that his spirit was completely absent, his body relaxed to the point of death, his mind shut down to the most minimum of brain waves. Her eyes lifted to the device measuring those readings and as usual saw a low steady level. On impulse she reached out and stroked a lock of hair from his forehead. His skin was cool beneath her fingers.

"Please come back to us, John." She whispered.

--

Two weeks previously

The twin suns burned down over the Ancient site. Rodney stood up from his tablet that was connected into the Ancient device set into the base of what they were colourfully calling 'The Altar'. He looked up at the bright yellow suns high up in the sky. He knew the radiation they were sending down on them wouldn't be too harmful, but it never hurt to be cautious. The back of his neck was itching intensely, but whether that was due to the heavy application of his latest version of sunscreen, or from the simple build up of heat under his collar he couldn't be sure. Maybe it would be best to take a break.

He headed through the rest of the stone ruins, passing various archaeologists and members of his science team. He scowled down at the work being done, but didn't stop to correct anyone. He would get to them after he had cooled down.

Around him the air shimmered with the heat caught within the stone basin which housed the Ancient ruins. A large outcropping of stone provided the only shade this side of the basin and underneath it Rodney found Sheppard enjoying the coolness. Typical.

"Shouldn't you be out patrolling or something?" Rodney asked.

"Nice to see you too, McKay." Sheppard returned.

Rodney reached into the chilled box and pulled out a fresh bottle of water. As he twisted off the cap and lifted it to his thirsty lips he regarded his friend.

"Remind me again why you volunteered to 'babysit us scientists'?"

Sheppard turned to him, his sunglasses still on for some reason. "Beats doing paperwork."

"Did you have to bring Ronon along though? He's getting angsty."

Sheppard smiled. "He needed some time out of the city. Things have been a little too quiet for him of late."

"How can it be a bad thing when there's no alien around the next corner ready to kill us?" Rodney asked, though he knew the answer; if there was no trouble now that only meant it was on its way. And who knew when it would arrive!

Sheppard turned back to watching the scientists working out in the sun. Rodney took the opportunity to study his friend more closely. He longed to ask, but didn't. Something about John Sheppard had changed over the past couple of months. He appeared more distant and had been spending a lot more hours on duty. At first Rodney had thought it was due to Woolsey's presence as their new Base Commander, but he was beginning to suspect it was something else. Rodney had never been any good at reading people emotionally, or in any way to be honest, but he felt he knew John well enough now to read him. And something was wrong. Rodney suspected he knew the reason, but had no idea how to broach the subject. He considered talking to Ronon about it, but hadn't yet built up the nerve. And what could they do anyway if he was right? Talking about it wouldn't make Kanaan leave Atlantis.

"I'd better get back to that patrolling." John said abruptly ending the silence. Rodney wondered if he had known what Rodney had been thinking. No that was stupid.

"Okay. Don't trip over anything important." was all Rodney could think to say, hoping to lift the Colonel's mood. John gave him a half smile and headed off towards the entrance to the tunnel system that surrounded the ruins, dug into the stone basin walls. Rodney didn't envy him that job, the tunnels were fascinating in that they contained a wealth of hidden Ancient tech, but they were enclosing. After being trapped in an underground room suspended over an abyss a few months back his claustrophobia had reinserted itself with a vengeance. He would choose the bright hot open space outside over the dark twisting tunnels any day.

With one last swig of water he tucked the bottle into his pocket and stepped back out into the suns' heat. He reached down to point to an obviously incorrectly attached lead to a newbie member of the team when his radio crackled to life.

"McKay?" Sheppard called.

Rodney touched his ear piece activating his side of the radio connection. "What?"

"Umm, you might want to…." The connection died abruptly.

"Say again." Rodney asked. After a beat he straightened up from the scientist, his hand floating up to his ear piece. "Sheppard? Sheppard come in."

There was no response from the other end. Fear kicked Rodney squarely in his gut. The next crisis had found them already.

"Anyone seen Sheppard? He'd just started his patrol of the tunnels." Rodney was already heading towards the entrance through which he had seen Sheppard disappear only minutes before. "Ronon?"

"On my way." Ronon practically shouted back over the radio. Rodney knew without seeing him that Ronon would have his heavy stun gun out and raised ready.

Rodney approached the entrance to the tunnels and peered inside. "Sheppard?" He called out loudly, wondering if his friend's radio had simply broken. "Can you hear me?" Nothing came back; he was going to have to go in. "Ronon, where are you?"

"I'm at the far entrance. We'll head in from both directions." Ronon ordered back.

Rodney swore quietly and plunged into the darkness of the tunnels his side arm raised. His eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and the coolness of the stone around him was a welcome break from the heat, but right now he didn't really care. Stepping cautiously, but as quickly as he could, he walked into the darkness alone.

"Sheppard?" He called in a loud whisper. What if something was waiting for him round the next corner ready to eat him?

To his right up ahead he saw the carved entrance to one of the many rooms cut into the solid stone. As he reached the doorway he lifted his weapon and handheld light as he had been taught and as he had seen John and Ronon do so many times before. He peered into the room quickly and his eyes instantly fell to the shape of John lying flat out in the centre of the room.

"I've found him in the first room from this end of the tunnels." Rodney whispered into his radio. "He looks unconscious." He peered cautiously back into the room and scanned the corners quickly. Satisfied that there wasn't anything about to jump out at him in the room he stepped quickly in towards Sheppard. "I think we're gonna need a medic." He called into his radio.

He dropped down beside his friend and turned him over onto his back. "Sheppard? Can you hear me?"

--

"What happened to him?" Woolsey asked.

Jennifer stood beside him at the end of the Colonel's bed and sighed. "He shows no signs of any physical injury. His blood tests show nothing out of the ordinary." Mr Woolsey turned to her and lifted an eyebrow. "In short we don't know." She clarified sheepishly. She hated this. She was a Doctor and it was her job to treat Colonel Sheppard, but she couldn't do that if there was no case for her to treat.

"Why is he unconscious?" Teyla asked anxiously from her other side.

Jennifer turned to the three people who were closest to the Colonel. Rodney couldn't stop staring at the bed and Ronon looked silently angry.

"He appears to be in a very deep coma. He is barely breathing by himself, which is why we have hooked him up to a ventilator and I have attached a saline IV with a full spectrum antibiotic, though there are no obvious signs of any kind of infection. Other than that there isn't much else we can do for him." She said professionally, but as softly as possible.

All three turned to her then, perhaps hearing what she wasn't saying. "How long could the coma last?" Teyla asked for them.

Jennifer looked down at the test results displayed on the tablet in her hand, as if there might be some new answer there. There was none of course so she looked back to their worried eyes. "To be honest we have no way of knowing. He may come out of it in a day, a week, maybe longer. Maybe never."

--

Three weeks later.

Teyla tucked Torren John down into his crib, and took a moment to stroke over his soft hair. He smiled up at her and blinked slowly as he slipped happily into sleep. Teyla watched him for a few moments longer and finally pulled her touch away from her sleeping son.

She turned and headed over to her bed. She slowly and methodically pulled away the blankets, rearranged the pillows and climbed between the cool sheets, laid back and settled as best as she could.

Kanaan was sleeping in his own quarters tonight, as he had done most nights over the past week. His hurtful words last week about the people of Atlantis still rang in her ears. She knew he was still emotionally wounded from his cruel treatment from Michael, but she could not help feeling unsettled by his words. She feared there might have been some truth in his words; that Atlantis may not be the safest place for Torren to grow up. But, where else would be safer, and here he was surrounded with people who loved and cared for Torren and for her.

Perhaps it was that Kanaan did not fit in here in Atlantis. Though he had lived here years ago as had all the Athosians following the destruction of Old Athos, he did not seem comfortable here. Perhaps that was still part of his recovery; to become settled and comfortable again. That all those who were returned had been kept isolated on the mainland for far longer than they felt necessary had not helped. Many of her people had confessed to her that they felt as trapped here in Atlantis as they had been with Michael. It was a reaction to their changed circumstances she suspected, but it was still hurtful. For in rejecting Atlantis and the people from Earth, she felt in some strange way that Kanaan was also rejecting her, or a part of her.

Perhaps it would be wise for her people to leave Atlantis, but where would be safe for them with Michael out there still? He would no doubt have the means to find them and would begin his experiments on them again. And he might use them to get to Torren. The thought terrified her more than anything ever had before.

She turned onto her side so she could see her son sleeping in his crib. She watched his little chest rising and falling with each breath and her thoughts floated to John down in the Infirmary. She was sure he would come out of his coma, but in truth it was a hopeful wish more than truthful fact. What if he never regained consciousness? What if he wasted away completely? Already she could see that he had lost so much of his muscle mass and his face was drawn and so very pale.

At the tears that threatened to build she shook her head and leant up to blow out the last remaining candles by her bed. The room plunged into darkness. She lay back down onto her side and listened to the distant sound of the waves outside and the soft steady breathing of Torren.

Something did not feel right. She looked around the dark room, instinctively looking for something. The room was completely empty, only full of heavy shadows. Teyla's eyes were drawn to the deepest darkest corner of the room, looking deep into the impenetrable darkness.

The Infirmary was dark and empty. No nurses were on duty and all the beds were empty as she entered. Everything was quiet except for the steady bleeping of the machines and the soft rushing sound of the ventilator across the room, from behind the curtains.

Where was everyone? Teyla stepped cautiously into the room, her eyes searching the corners for any clues. All the lights were off, and she realised the emergency lighting was on. The strange coloured lights themselves were too dim, their light suppressed and contained somehow, so that the darkness of the room felt oppressive and almost like a weight against her skin.

The only light she could make out clearly was the light from behind the curtains surrounding John's bed. She moved slowly towards John's bed, feeling like something was watching her from the gloom around her. Instinctively she turned so her back was to the wall and she made her way very cautiously towards the curtains and the bleeping of the machines.

She finally reached the nearest curtain surrounding John and pulled it back quickly, hoping to spill the light within out into the Infirmary. However, the light did not. She turned surprised to find that the small area around John's bed was surrounded by a thin wall that though mostly invisible was clearly defined by the light filling the inside around John and the gloom pressed up against the outside. Confused she reached up to touch the strange barrier, but heard a shifting twitching sound from behind her.

Spinning round she scanned the darkness, but again there was nothing to be seen except the thickening gloom. But, she was sure something, or things, were watching her now. On the edge of her hearing she could almost make out strange noises that could almost have been animal sounds. The air seemed to be getting thicker around her, the light dimming even further and she was struggling to draw in fresh air as she breathed.

Beginning to panic Teyla stepped back, her back coming up against the barrier surrounding John's bed. She leant back against it and then suddenly fell backwards through it. She stumbled managing to stay on her feet, and the light and clear air surrounded her in a rush. She drew in the clear air, her head clearing as she looked up at the barrier, now from the inside and saw the thick darkness, like a heavy fog pressing against it from outside. She watched it for a few anxious moments, but it appeared the barrier was holding.

Treading carefully backwards, keeping her eyes on the barrier she made her way around the side of John's bed. She turned her eyes to his face to see that he was no longer connected to the ventilator or IV. The sudden silence from the constant bleeping of the machines was abrupt and shocked her more than the threatening darkness outside. He was now dressed in his usual black uniform, the thin hospital gown gone. She leant down over him, but saw that his face was still pale and absent of any signs of consciousness.

"John?" She whispered.

She reached out and touched her hand to his bare arm where it rested on the bed. His eyes snapped open and he reached up grabbing her by her arms and thrusted his face up to within mere inches from hers.

"They're coming, Teyla!" He shouted panicked.

Then as suddenly as he had moved, he fell back to the bed, unconscious once again.

Teyla snapped awake, her heart thundering in her chest and gasping for breath. Panting and panicked beyond reason she stumbled up from her bed and reached for the light controls. The lights slid on instantly, filling the room with bright shining light. Teyla rushed to Torren's crib, and pressed her back against the wall. Torren, woken by the lights and possibly also by her panic, began to grumble and then burst out into a full cry.

With her son's cries echoing through the room, she watched the room around her, seeking out the gloom, the darkness, and the sounds she had heard in her dream.

--

TBC