It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again
The bright digits of the clock radiated a soft blue glow, announcing the current time, 1:58. Partially illuminated by the moonlight, a small figure sat in bed, fully conscious and deep in thought. Her cold, expressionless mask faded to reveal a sad, pensive face. Come back...
There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day
You're such a part of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
You used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
*Flashback*
She was leaning against the wall, reading The Biochem Journal when it happened.
"A...Ai," Conan began softly, addressing her like that for the first time, "can I talk to you?"
"Sure," Haibara replied, not taking her eyes off the Neurophysics article.
"I...like you," Conan stammered.
The small figure stiffened. Ai could feel her arms clench as she tightened her grip on the magazine. She held it as if it were the only thing that kept her in place as her heart beat faster and faster. Her head snapped up, making eye contact with Conan, an unfathomable combination of emotions surfacing in her eyes. Slowly, she retreated into her bedroom and closed the door behind her, leaning against it. How could you? After I ripped you from your perfect life...am I dreaming? Do I want this so badly I'm hallucinating about it?
*End*
Ai wrapped her arms securely around her pillow and buried her face in it. "I wish I could've told him..." she whispered into her pillow, the words coming out a muffled jumble.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Tears began to gather from the corners of her eyes. Tears? Shiho Miyano doesn't cry, she told herself as she closed her eyes, forcing the tears back.
You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind
Blood rushed to her head, the pounding of her heart ringing in her ears. I want it, more than anything else, more than I've ever wanted anything, but...I think I was afraid. No one had ever loved me before, and I was afraid that I'd screw it up. Afraid that I wouldn't know how to act. She clutched the pillow tightly, wishing she'd had the courage to tell him.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
The tears brimming in her eyes threatened to spill out as she thought about him. Shiho Miyano doesn't cry, she repeated, tilting her head upward and staring out the window at the pale moon.
And I'm asking
And I'm wanting you to come back to me
Please?
Don't leave me; I need you. Come back...
I never will forget that look upon
Your face
How you turned away and left
Without a trace
But I understand that you did what you had to do
And I thank you
As she sat in bed, eyes closed, she saw Conan's face, a sad, shocked expression arranging his features. "Then I'll wait for you," he'd said before returning to his room.
*Flashback*
When she entered the kitchen, she found a note on the table addressed to "Ai". Conan had found a few clues, enough so that he had a good idea of where the Organization's Japanese base was, and had gone to investigate by himself.
*End*
That was two months ago... She knew that the chances of his survival after such a long period without contact were slim. But she sat in bed, unwilling to let go. She wouldn't let go. She couldn't let go. She just lay awake in bed every night, wishing that she'd had the courage to tell him, to say it.
"I love you, Shinichi..." she whispered into the darkness.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little, and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe that I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
A single tear escaped, trailing down her cheek, and finally making contact with the white covers. Shiho Miyano doesn't cry... but maybe... Ai Haibara does.
