Title: What They Have

By: Amanda

Feedback: sweety167@yahoo.ca

Rating: R for Brian Language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing QAF related.

Summary: Brian P.O.V. for Episode 302 and Emmett's comment.

Completed: August 14, 2003

"…We have what you don't…"

Emmett's words keep running around in my head. Like I need anything of his anywhere in me. They have what I don't? Right! Fucking fairies. Thinking I want to settle down with a white picket fence like a pair of goddamn lesbians…or worse…breeders. God they're acting like…like the kind of goddamn fags my father could stand. Real upstanding citizens. The joke of upstanding queers; being something they're not…just so everyone else will think they're normal. Screw that!

Why on earth would I want what they think they have?! Some fucking little fake ideal. Fuck that! I'm happy, more then happy as the King of Liberty Avenue. The goddamn King!

No, that's the Brian 'fuck'em all' Kinney act. That's the lie I show them all. Why would I want what they have? Being able to touch and love your best friend without everyone's grief. Everyone is tickled fucking rainbow pink over the two of them together. Their kisses and touches and cuddles in the booth are all embraced by everyone – hell encouraged. But if I get even half that close to Mikey I'm pulled away. Told that I'm not good enough for him. That I'd just hurt him. Fuck that! I love the guy. I've loved him for close to twenty fucking years – why would I ever want to hurt him? Because I'm Brian Kinney, the fucking bastard King of Liberty Avenue! The biggest Prick in all of Pittsburgh! The one cock incapable of love – but Mikey is the exception to that. He's my exception to everything.

Though I'd never admit it, Em's right. He and Ted do have what I don't. the one thing I actually want. They can love their best friend out in the open, while I've been closeted on Michael. The fucking King my ass…

End

This is my first attempt at writing Brian…so I thought, before my RR turn comes, I should try him out. teehee